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Chapter Two: Partition

The next two weeks were filled with rushing from the Navy Yard to the hospital and to their house. Tony wanted to get as many things done as possible before Jethro would be able to go home. He was running on low energy once again, but he knew that this time it was most definitely worth it. He had stocked up on food, had cleaned the house, had made sure that anything important was easily accessible, had installed a few handles in the bathroom and had, with McGee's help, moved the bed downstairs. All in all, the house felt more like home with every day he was changing things around and Tony realized that he was really looking forward to staying there again. In fact, he couldn't wait for Gibbs to come home to him, couldn't wait to share a bed with him again, couldn't wait to have a lazy Sunday afternoon with him in front of the television or down in the basement. He knew that things wouldn't go back to normal in any time soon, but maybe having the guy home again would provide him with the so desperately needed warmth inside of him.

.

"Hey Tony," McGee's voice resounded through the house and Tony, who had just put the last plate into the dishwasher, slowly made his way towards Kelly's room or rather towards their new bedroom.

"What's up, McMover?" he shouted back.

"Where do you want those?" Tim asked as Tony entered the room and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Palmer bend over one of the boxes with Kelly's stuff, just about to open it.

"No, don't," Tony cried out louder and sharper than he had intended.

Slightly startled, Palmer looked up at him, his hand still hovering in mid-air, his brows furrowed.

"Sorry?" he finally said then.

Tony subtly shook his head, running a hand over his face and sighed loudly. He, himself, had never dared to even touch one of those boxes, let alone look inside one out of respect for Jethro's past and the mere thought of Palmer rummaging through them made him sick to his stomach.

"Sorry, didn't mean to shout," he finally apologized. "It's just Gibbs' personal stuff. I'd rather you not touch it. I mean, what's inside it."

"Do you want to keep them here?" Ziva chimed in from the other side of the room where she had apparently just brushed the dust off of one of the cupboards.

"No," Tony shook his head. "I guess we'll move it upstairs into our old bedroom. I'll let Gibbs figure out what to do with them."

"Okay, then," Palmer hurried to say and then grabbed one of the boxes with McGee mirroring his actions before they both disappeared from the room.

Ziva, however, was still standing there, giving him a speculative look.

"Are you alright, Tony?"

"Hmm?" he replied distractedly, looking around the room. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Just asking. It must be pretty overwhelming at the moment for you, yes?"

"Yeah, I guess," Tony shrugged, finally looking her into the eyes. "But I know that now things finally might settle down, you know. I mean… I think we're out of the woods, you know."

"I really hope you are," Ziva just said before she picked up a box herself and went to leave the room, too, but stopped just as she was passing by Tony to bump her shoulder into his. "If you need help with anything you know where to find me, yes?"

"I know, Ziva. Thank you," Tony replied barely audible, suddenly touched by her obvious concern.

"You are very welcome. And now, let us get moving, yes? I am sure you do not want to get to Gibbs at a time he is already asleep."

"Yeah."

.

Exactly two weeks after Tony had first told Jethro that he might be going home soon, the younger man picked the guy up late on a Monday afternoon. He could almost feel the nervous energy that the other man was all but radiating next to him. They didn't talk much on the drive over, as Jethro was apparently too occupied to watch the landscape and houses go by through the side window and Tony was too busy to keep his eyes on the road and not on the older man. He was beyond nervous about having Jethro back in their house again and at the same time, he felt like this could be their break, like this could be exactly what they needed and maybe what Jethro needed, too, to finally remember them again.

Once they reached the house, Gibbs suddenly became rather still as he slowly limped up the driveway and let himself into their home. Tony took it as a good sign that he wasn't surprised that the door was unlocked. He slowly followed his partner into the house, glad that he had opted against a welcome home party as Abby had suggested. He wanted Gibbs to feel as comfortable as possible and he had never quite liked having many people in his house after all. The older man still hadn't said anything as he slowly walked through the living room, his glance briefly landing on the couch before he went towards the kitchen. All the while, Tony was looking for a sign that Gibbs recognized anything, but his expression stayed stoic on his way through the house. Tony had known that it would have been a long shot anyway, but something inside of him was still deeply disappointed by it. But he had learned to live with it, he would just continue to remember for the both of them and it would have to be enough for the time being.

When Gibbs chanced a glance into their brand new bedroom, however, something in his expression changed after all. He had stopped just inside the door causing Tony to almost bump into him.

"Kelly's old room?" Gibbs then asked, his voice quiet and soft and very clear for once.

Generally, his talking had improved so much over the last couple of weeks that it still sometimes astonished Tony. While only two weeks previously he had barely been able to utter a single word, he was now able to form complete sentences without as much as breaking off once. He was still mixing up words and tenses sometimes, but Tony could easily overlook those. Betimes, they could actually talk to each other like they had before the blow to Gibbs' head. The older man was still a bit reluctant and a bit slow, too, but it didn't bother either one of them anymore.

Tony finally nodded in answer of Jethro's earlier question, feeling him stiffen up ever so slowly, but he remained silent, so Tony finally started to talk again.

"I put the boxes upstairs in our old bedroom if you want to look at them?"

To his surprise, Jethro nodded once and then slowly made his way towards the stairs. Tony internally debated following in case he wouldn't make it upstairs, but then refrained, knowing that the older man preferred to be alone with his thoughts. When Gibbs had reached the stairs, though, he turned around, raising an eyebrow at Tony.

"You come?"

"Uh, Jethro," Tony slowly replied as he approached him. "You usually don't want me there. Actually, you almost never look at them yourself. Only after really bad cases or if we had a fight, you'd go in there and look at the stuff."

"Okay," Gibbs replied slowly and climbed a few stairs before he stopped and turned towards Tony once again. "Not today."

"You want me to go with you?" Tony asked, his heart suddenly picking up its pace. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Jethro just said and then continued to go up and for a moment, Tony just stared at him as he realized that the other man's voice had sounded exactly like the old and well-known impatient growly Gibbs in boss-mode one.

"On your six, Boss," Tony couldn't help but quip as he hurried after him.

.

They had spent all but two hours up there, looking through photo albums, drawings and dolls. Tony's heart had grown heavier with every item he passed on to the other man, but Gibbs didn't seem to have noticed. He was mostly engrossed in the things that had once belonged to his daughter and while they weren't actually triggering any memories as far as Tony could tell, it seemed like Gibbs was determined to get to know his daughter all over again. Tony went along with it, after all, he didn't know much about her, either, except for the few things that Gibbs had shared over the years and he felt oddly touched to be finally able to look at Gibbs' most closely guarded secret. When he noticed Jethro's movements getting slightly sluggish, he proposed to go downstairs, eat dinner and then go to bed. The older man didn't argue and Tony realized that he must have been pretty beaten after all.

"Jethro?" Tony asked almost an hour later, cleaning up the table. "I know we haven't talked about it yet, but… uh… where do you want me to sleep? Can we share a bed or…?"

Gibbs looked at him for a moment or two before he nodded curtly, causing Tony to feel a weight lift off his shoulders. He hadn't been sure whether the other guy would want it as he was still rather reluctant when it came to touching, but Tony wasn't quite sure whether he could have handled a no right now. He almost ached to hold him in his arms at night again, ached to be roused from his sleep by soft kisses on the back of his neck in the mornings. He knew, of course, that none of these things were likely to happen any time soon, but it did mean the world to him that they were at least sharing a bed again and he fervently hoped that the other stuff would come back sooner or later, too.

.

Three days later, though, Tony couldn't help but realize that his excitement about having the older man back in their house had somehow managed to get lost. While Gibbs was indeed back there, Tony was starting to feel lonelier with every hour that passed. He didn't even know why that was, but Gibbs was strangely withdrawn from him. Sometimes he would just slowly wander around the house for what seemed like hours, never answering any of Tony's questions, let alone turning around to look at him. Tony didn't know what he was doing, he had even asked Ducky about it, but the ME had just told him to wait and see, figuring that Gibbs was just looking for something to trigger any kind of memory. And indeed, it did seem like it was back to the same old, same old 'wait and see', only that this time, Tony didn't want to wait anymore, didn't want to see anymore. He wanted to touch, wanted to feel - just something. But with every minute, with every hour that Jethro would just look at random things in the house, Tony felt emptier inside. And as if the wandering and the silence weren't bad enough, Jethro would also look at a photo of him, Shannon and Kelly for minutes at a length without even blinking once. Tony hadn't been worrying about it in the beginning because the guy could look at pictures all he wanted, but that was before the younger man had realized that every time he would walk into the room or every time Gibbs just noticed him, he would let it slip into the pocket of his jeans, as if he had never even looked at it in the first place. Figuring that it couldn't go on like that, Tony finally sat down on the couch one afternoon, five days after Gibbs had first come home, and patted to the empty spot beside him. For once, the older man seemed to acknowledge his presence and followed his lead, looking at Tony expectantly, his eyes locking into his.

"Can I ask you a question?" Tony finally started, breaking the almost overwhelming silence. As he saw Gibbs nod, he continued. "You know that you can look at pictures of Shannon and Kelly every time you want, right? I mean you don't have to hide them from me or whatever. You know that, right?"

Gibbs remained silent for a moment before he shifted ever so slightly, running a suddenly shaky hand over his face.

"I," he finally started slowly. "They… my family."

Tony stared at him for a minute before he finally understood what the other man wanted to tell him. Trying not to choke on his next words, as he felt like he had just been punched in the stomach, he continued slowly and quietly.

"Yes, they are," he said, trying to get Jethro to look him into the eyes and succeeded in the end. "But listen… You are my family. You're pretty much everything I have. I know I can count on the others, on your dad, maybe even on my dad, but when things get really rough, it always comes down to you. So, yeah, Shannon and Kelly were… are your family, but you are mine, Jethro, and by extension that makes them my family, too."

Gibbs stared at him for what felt like a really long time, but never even opened his mouth. He just looked at Tony, his eyes slightly brighter than usual and Tony noticed with a sinking heart that he had seen them like that once before. They were just as dead as they had been when Jethro had first woken up from his coma. He didn't know what it meant or if Gibbs even realized that keeping silent was the worst thing he could do to Tony right at that moment. But then, just as Tony was sure that he would break down and start to cry, Gibbs stood up and went into their bedroom without another glance, without another word. When Tony followed half an hour later when he was finally sure that he wouldn't lose the last of his sanity, Gibbs was already sound asleep in their bed. Sighing, Tony climbed in next to him, internally debating whether or not to give him a kiss goodnight on his cheek or hair or wherever, but as he noticed how stiff and how on the very edge of the bed the guy was lying, he refrained, turned around to face the opposite direction and silently cried himself to sleep.

.

Tony had expected that things would go on like they had, but after his silent break-down, Gibbs seemed to be coming back to himself a little bit. He still wasn't talking much – but then again, when had he ever? – and he was still wandering around the house a lot, but he had started listening to Tony again and was interacting with him more and more. They never talked about their previous conversation again and while one part of Tony was glad about that, the other part was screaming louder at him to say something with every day he kept his feelings buried inside of him.

"Toh-nee?" Gibbs' voice roused him from his thoughts on a Sunday morning during breakfast.

Tony looked up from the eggs that Gibbs had cooked for them that morning, quite shocking Tony, too, but they had been as good as ever.

"What's up?" he asked, plastering a smile on his face.

"I…" Gibbs started hesitantly as if he wasn't sure he should really continue. "I build boats?"

"Yeah," Tony answered, this time giving him a real smile because he realized that Jethro might have actually remembered something. Just to make sure he asked, "Have you been down in the basement?"

"No," Gibbs replied, furrowing a brow. "Why?"

"Come on, let me show you something."

The eggs forgotten for the moment, Tony all but jumped up and then patiently waited until Gibbs did the same and slowly limped towards the basement. When he reached the stairs and looked down at the half-finished boat that was standing down there, he stopped dead and stared at it for so long that Tony almost thought that he had spaced out again but then the older man turned to look at him, confusion written all over his face.

"How… get the boat out of here?"

Tony stared at him for a moment or two, trying to decide whether or not his leg was being pulled before he realized that the guy was serious. He let out a laugh and shook his head when Gibbs had just opened his mouth again.

"I can't believe you just asked me that. Do you have any idea how many times I've asked you that? Or anyone has asked you that for that matter? You would never tell us… and I'm sorry," he added, his laughter bubbling over. "It's just really funny that you don't remember now. I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh… but -"

Gibbs, however, just shook his head, a slight smirk on his face as he slowly descended the stairs and Tony was glad that he didn't seem to be mad at him for once. He followed him and then sat down on the last of the stairs as he watched Gibbs run his hands over the surface of the wood. He then looked at Tony and was apparently just about to say something as he stopped dead in his tracks, his brow furrowing again.

"You always… sit there?"

"Yeah," Tony replied, smiling once again, his heart beating impossibly fast all of a sudden.

Was Gibbs actually remembering stuff today? Could it really be that after that horrible, horrible week, there was somehow actually a silver lining?

"Yeah, I used to… but only until we got together. Afterwards you insisted that I have to help you. I pretty much suck at wood working, but I'm not all that bad at sanding."

"Okay," Gibbs just said, picking up one of the sanders, staring at it in wonder for a moment or two before he started to grind it over the surface of the wood.

After a few minutes, Tony got up, too, desperate for some normalcy and picked up a sander for himself and without another word set to work.

.

"With the… grain," Jethro spoke up half an hour later, as he had momentarily stopped his motions to look at Tony instead. "How… many times… I… tell you."

"I don't know," Tony replied light-heartedly, never stopping the sanding. "How many times have you?"

"Too many, Di… Nozzo," Gibbs replied quickly and apparently without thinking because a moment later Tony felt him stop dead next to him more than he actually saw it.

"What?" he chuckled ever so slightly as he turned to look at him.

The smile was wiped from his lips almost instantly, though, as he saw the expression on Jethro's face. It was when he realized that Gibbs had actually remembered, not guessed, but remembered that he had scolded him for not working with the grain many, many times before. Gibbs had actually remembered something that had to do with Tony for once. This wasn't about Abby or Langer or his girls or Hernandez. This was about Tony and it took all of the younger man's willpower not to go over there and hug him to death right there and then.

"Figures," he finally said, trying to diffuse the situation a bit because Gibbs still had that strange expression on his face that Tony didn't like all that much. "That you'd remember scolding me. But you know what? I take it. This is good, Gibbs. This is really good."

Jethro looked at him for a minute longer before he broke out into a smile, too. For a moment it seemed like he wanted to reach out and touch him, but then Gibbs just chuckled soundlessly and then started to work on the boat again, leaving Tony standing there feeling happy and sad at the same time.

.

Tony had to get back to work by Tuesday and even though, he wasn't supposed to feel that way at all, he was secretly glad he could get away from their house for a couple of hours. He knew that Jethro was well-cared for. Ducky and Abby had promised to stop by at their respective lunch breaks and twice a day Gibbs' physical and speech therapists would appear, too. There wasn't really anything to worry about, Tony knew that, but he also knew that Gibbs was most likely to wander aimlessly around the house again now that Tony wasn't there anymore. Despite the moment they had shared in the basement the other day, there was still something terribly wrong between them and he didn't have a clue what it was exactly and how in the world he could solve the problem. All he knew was that he ached to touch him, ached to be touched by the guy worse than ever and he had caught himself daydreaming of actually kissing him for the first time in months, but that was all wishful thinking. Knowing that only made it harder, though.

Going back to work had seemed to be doing them some good in the beginning, as Jethro was more talkative in the evenings, had sometimes even cooked him dinner and had once even watched TV with Tony, but the younger man could still feel the invisible wall between them which only seemed to be getting thicker with every day. He never commented on it, though, hoping and wishing that it was only temporary and that the other man would come around eventually.

Three weeks later, though, when he came home from work late due to their most recent case, he noticed Gibbs sleeping on the couch, his eyelids fluttering as if he was dreaming. He was wearing the clothes he was usually sleeping in and Tony knew that he hadn't just fallen asleep there waiting for him, but that he had deliberately lain down there to sleep.

To sleep on the couch and not in the bed with Tony.

Feeling his heart sink, Tony reached for the blanket, covering the other man with it and then wrestled the same old picture out of Gibbs' death grip. He stared at the three smiling faces of the Gibbs family for a moment before he turned to look at the older man for a very long time.

He knew that he couldn't ignore it any longer. He knew that there was something standing between them all of a sudden and it was probably much bigger than Shannon and Kelly. He also knew that they couldn't keep going like that. Suppressing the tears that threatened to fall, Tony finally stood up and then went to the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

They needed to talk and soon because otherwise they would be falling apart and this time, Tony was sure it would not be that easy to fix them.

A/N: Hope you liked it! :)