Mystery Danny Theater 3000
By Futuramakid
Bitter Reunions transcribed by Skyechan
DISCLAIMER: I own neither Danny Phantom and related characters or Crow T. Robot and related characters.
Bold transpiring, non bold is on the screen.
They exited the theater into the main room for the invention exchange. "Do you actually HAVE an invention this week?" Vlad aske them. "Yes," Tom replied, and pulled out a small box. "What is that supposed to be?" Vlad asked. "It's a hammerspace box," Tom explained, "it's linked to a parallel dimension of infinite storage. I can pull any object at random out of this box." "COOL! Let ME try!" Crow said, snatching it away. He pulled out a strange looking guitar. He started to strum out a tune before Danny realized what guitar it was. "WAIT! That's EMBER'S guitar! Stop! The effects could be—" he stopped when he noticed who in front of Crow had heard it, and what it was set on. "VERY pleasant," he said, as Sam, who had been in front of Crow, turned around making goo-goo eyes. "How much do you want to keep her this way?" "50 buck, a week," Crow responded. "50 bucks?!?!?!? NO WAY!" Danny said. Crow started to turn the knob to the next setting. "Oh, all right," Danny said, handing over a 50. "You're so cute when you're bargaining for your life's fantasy," the lovestruck Sam replied. "WE'VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!"
PART TWO
Danny has mysteriously turned back up in his bedroom where he is tossing and turning, still unconscious.
DANNY: No! Get away!
Crow: (DANNY) I won't put on those lederhosen!
Danny: CROW!
Sam: (staring at Danny, smiling dazedly) You're so cute when you're raging against the machines…
Danny wakes up and moves the bedsheet off of his face.
DANNY: Huh? Where am I? What happened?
Tom: (DANNY) Where are my pants?
VLAD: (appears in the doorway) I was going to ask you the same question, young man.
DANNY: I...Must've been worn out from the long car trip. I-I'll be okay in the morning. I'm sorry for the scare.
VLAD: Oh, what's a little scare between friends, son, hmm? Sleep tight, little badger.
Danny goes back to sleep and Vlad closes the door on his way out.
VLAD: Yes, sleep tight. (chuckles evilly)
The next night people begin arriving for the class reunion. Danny, now wearing a suit for the reunion, peeks inside Vlad's screening room to find JASMINE watching old football clips.
DANNY: Jazz, aren't you coming to the reunion?
JASMINE: What, and watch a bunch of old fossils pogo to new-wave music? Pass. Did you know-
Ron: (JASMINE) how obvious it is that you're Inviso-Bill?
the Packers won the very first Super Bowl?
DANNY: Whatever.
Danny leaves.
SPORTS ANNOUNCER: On a snowy day at Lambeau, Bart Starr faces Butkus and the Bears.
Danny and his parents appear at the main party. Danny doesn't seem too interested. Jack suddenly spots an old classmate.
JACK: Hey, Harry!
The woman with a ponytail spits out the food she was chewing.
HARRY: Ugh. I'd know that voice anywhere.
Harry walks over to the family.
HARRY: (uncomfortably) Jack, Maddie, how nice.
JACK: Danny, meet Harriet Chin. She's a bigshot reporter for the Milwaukee Journal now, but back in my college days she was just-
Crow: (JACK) The only one capable of counting backwards enough to find my IQ.
Danny: (is too busy enjoying Sam's company to notice)
Harry. Harry Chin! Haha! Get it?
MADDIE: I'm really sorry, Harriet.
HARRY: Sweetie, you married him; you should be.
A techno type song begins playing.
JACK: Hey, my song! Come on, let's pogo!
Jack grabs Maddie and both (Maddie reluctantly) pogo on the dance floor.
DANNY: Okay, I'm officially mortified.
HARRY: What took so long?
Later Danny is sitting down at a table looking bored.
VLAD: Well, son, you're looking much better. I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor?
Tom: (VLAD) Could you follow this obvious lure into my trap?
DANNY: Oh, sure, Mr. Masters! But call me Danny. "Son" is what my dad calls me.
VLAD: Oh, yes, yes, of course. Now, could you go to my lab, second door on the right upstairs? There's a present in there for your father that I'd like you to bring down.
DANNY: (gets up) Okay.
Danny leaves while Vlad has an evil smirk on his face. He turns to see Jack pogo-ing on the dance floor while Maddie and the other guests watch him.
VLAD: (to himself) Maddie...That lab accident cost me my youthful chance at you, but that's all about to change...
Scene switches to Danny in the lab.
DANNY: Present? I don't see a present.
Danny spots a picture of college Vlad and Maddie on a table with a corner torn from the picture.
DANNY: Hey, wait a minute...
Danny pulls out the picture of his younger father the vultures had and finds it is the missing corner from the picture.
DANNY: Oh, no. No way.
Crow: (DANNY) How stupid could an evil genius get?
Danny's ghost sense goes off and he transforms into Danny Phantom. Suddenly the two ectopusses from "Mystery Meat" grab him and lift him high into the air.
DANNY: Let go!
Danny kicks one and slams the other into the floor.
DANNY: Those ghosts...They were two of the first ghosts I fought!
SKULKER: And they're not alone, pup!
Skulker traps Danny in one of his nets.
DANNY: Skulker!?
Danny bursts free from the net and kicks Skulker into the nearby wall.
DANNY: How did you get back in your ectoskeleton? What are you doing here!?
Crow: (DANNY) Why can't I bring myself to admit that I love Sam? (looks at Sam and Danny, who have their heads on each other's shoulders) (normal voice) Strike that last one.
SKULKER: All excellent questions. Catch!
Skulker rolls a cube of some kind towards Danny which traps him inside a large box.
DANNY: Hey! I can't phase out of this! It's disrupting my powers!
SKULKER: And that's not all it does.
Skulker presses a button and the box shocks Danny, causing him to yell in pain and transform back to Danny Fenton. Skulker then walks over and holds a glowing blade from his wrist at Danny's neck.
DANNY: (chuckles nervously) The glowing blade is new!
SKULKER: You like it? I've had some upgrades. Now...
Tom: (SKULKER) Put some pants on!
VLAD: ENOUGH! I didn't free you to kill the boy, Skulker! Your work is done.
Skulker and Danny share a confused look before Skulker retracts the blade.
SKULKER: Yes, well, I...
The PDA on Skulker's wrist starts typing.
SKULKER: I've gotta go to the library and checkout a book on a gorilla...Again!
Skulker's jets activate and he flies off, phasing through the ceiling.
DANNY: Skulker? The ectopusses? I don't understand!
VLAD: Of course not! You're, what, fourteen? Too young to drive and not in college yet! I sent those ghosts, and others, to test your father's skills. Imagine my surprise when I find you; the second ghost hybrid his foolishness created!
DANNY: Second?
Vlad then transforms into his ghost self.
DANNY: YOU! I'm going ghost!
Nothing happens.
DANNY: Going ghost!
Nothing happens again.
DANNY: (puzzled) Why can't I go ghost?
VLAD: You have-
Crow: (VLAD) no pants on, hilarious!
a battle cry, hilarious. I, on the other hand, have this!
Vlad taps the box Danny's in.
VLAD: A spectral energy neutralizer. Designed by Skulker, paid for by me. And as long as you're contained within that box you're as human as your idiot father.
DANNY: Let me out of here!
VLAD: Why? So you can go back to stumbling through your adolescence, desperately trying to-
Crow: (testing to see if Danny is even still listening at this point) (VLAD) get that Sam girl? get control of your powers? Powers, by the way, that I've had for twenty years.
Vlad demonstrates some of these powers.
VLAD: I have experience, my child. And the money and power attained through using those powers for personal gain, you see.
Vlad splits himself again.
VLAD: I could train you, teach you everything I know.
Crow: (VLAD) Including how to walk and chew gum at the same time!
(Crow looks at Danny and Sam who are now making out)
Crow: You're enjoying this WAY too much. (sets the guitar to the spiral and strums the beginning of Layla)
(Sam begins to attack Danny)
Crow: MUCH better!
Vlad combines back into one.
VLAD: And all you'd have to do, is renounce your idiot father.
DANNY: ...Dude, you are one seriously crazed-up fruit loop. That is never going to happen.
VLAD: Yes, well, once your father is out of-
Crow: (VLAD) his pants-
Danny: (struggling to keep Sam off him) CROW! PLEASE CALL HER OFF ME!
the way, we'll see how you'll feel.
Vlad laughs and disappears. The scene then switches to Harry standing next to Jack on the dance floor. Jack doesn't seem to be interested at all at what Harry's saying.
HARRY: Then I covered the guerilla uprising in Rumackistan. Got an exclusive with the rebel leader that got raves!
Harry notices Jack not really paying attention.
HARRY: (annoyed) Am I boring you, Jack?
JACK: Frankly, yes.
Vlad's ghost form phases through the floor behind Jack and overshadows him.
VLAD: (as Jack) So, what do ya say we liven up this shindig?
Tom: (VLAD AS JACK) I'M GONNA 'SPLODE NOW!
Vlad while overshadowing Jack, picks up Harry and tosses her crashing into the punch bowl table.
MADDIE: Jack! What's the matter with you!?
VLAD: (as Jack) Why Maddie, didn't you always know I'd turn on you? That when you chose me you-
Crow: (VLAD AS JACK) would be the one wearing the pants?
chose wrong?
(Danny and Sam are still fighting)
Crow: I'll bet twenty bucks the girl wins.
Tom: You're on.
JACK: (regaining control) Get out! Get out of me!
HARRY: I don't know what's come over you, but when I write about this I swear--
JACK: (clutches Maddie) Ghost! Overpowering me...Maddie, run. RUN!
Jack floats high above the dance floor, several people run away.
HARRY: He's a ghost? This is the story of the century!
Maddie drags Harry away from the scene.
MADDIE: Come on! We have to get to the Fenton Family Ghost Assault Vehicle! I mean, the RV!
The scene switches to Danny still in the lab struggling to break free of the box.
DAIRY KING: Well, gosh and golly, it looks like you could use a speck of help there, dontcha know?
DANNY: (somewhat relieved) Hey, you're the Dairy King! (worried) ...Oh, great. What are you gonna do? Suffocate me with Limburger? Strangle me with Swiss!? Or--
DAIRY KING: A-hah!
The Dairy King uses his scepter and presses the "open" button on the side of the box, freeing Danny.
DANNY: --let me go?
Danny kicks the now tiny box out of the way.
DANNY: Well, thank you! (confused) But, why?
DAIRY KING: Well, not all ghosts are evil, right? Some of us just want to be left alone there, dontcha know?
DANNY: Hey, will you help me fight Plasmius?
DAIRY KING: I'm the Dairy King, kiddo. Kings don't fight; they send other people to fight for 'em. That's Royalty 101 there, dontcha know?
The Dairy King flies off.
DAIRY KING: (while flying away) Try the Gouda! It's dairy fresh!
Danny smiles as the King flies away.
(Danny attempts to expel the spell by overshadowing Sam)
Tom: Looks like you made a losing bet, Crow.
MADDIE: (loud enough for Danny to hear her) JACK!
DANNY: (alarmed) Dad!
Danny quickly transforms to Danny Phantom and flies off. Maddie and Harry meanwhile have made their way to the RV.
HARRY: (holding a recorder towards Maddie) So, Maddie. When did you first realize your husband was a monster bent on destroying his smarter, more successful, and better dressed peers?
MADDIE: What are you talking about? That jumpsuit is incredibly stylish.
Maddie drives the RV straight through Vlad's castle, several of the guests watching in shock. The RV passes by the screening room and JASMINE peeks her head out the door.
JASMINE: (sighs) I'm guessing we won't be invited back.
Back on the dance floor several guests run away from the still overshadowed Jack. Vlad is causing Jack to throw tables and hit people.
VLAD: (as Jack) If you live to tell the tale, remember that big, fat, Jack Fenton did this to you!
DANNY: Guess again, cheesehead.
Danny becomes intangible and flies through his father, knocking Vlad out of his Jack's body.
VLAD: Noooo!
JACK: (angrily) No one uses Jack Fenton as a human meat-puppet!
Danny meanwhile has knocked Vlad into the library again. Danny tries punching Vlad but Vlad kicks him away.
VLAD: Daniel, stop! Think about the things I could show you. The doors I could open for you. You, Danny Phantom, and I, Vlad Plasmius. Together we could rule-
Crow: (VLAD) the galaxy as father and son! Wait… wrong movie.
DANNY: Forget it, pal. Your money can't buy my mom, it can't buy the Packers, and it can't buy me!
Danny fires an ectoplasmic blast at Vlad who absorbs it and fires it back at him with twice the power. Danny manages to create a shield around himself blocking the attack.
DANNY: I know who you are. I'll tell my father. I'll tell everyone.
VLAD: And so will I. Honestly, if you expose me, you expose yourself.
Crow: (VLAD) Oh, wait, you're too obvious to expose. It'd be child's play!
(Sam expels Danny and seems to be back to normal)
Tom: HA! Hand over that 20, pal!
Honking from the RV is heard and the RV bursts into the library.
DANNY: Huh!?
Danny and Vlad manage to get out of the RV's way as it barrels past with Jack at the wheel.
VLAD: Mind if I cut in?
Vlad phases his hands through the top of the RV and pulls Maddie out.
MADDIE: Let go of me!
VLAD: Never again, woman.
Danny looks at the scene as his father desperately attempts to retrieve Maddie.
JACK: Maddie!
Danny becomes intangible and quickly flies inside the RV and sits down in the driver's seat and messes around with the gear shift.
DANNY: Oh, great. It's a stick.
Harry only sees the gear shift moving.
HARRY: (excited) And I wasn't going to come to this thing! Hah!
Danny manages to get the RV to move and drives it towards Jack, Maddie being dangled by her foot by Vlad.
MADDIE: Jack, look out! The RV!
Jack dives out of the way of the RV.
DANNY: Sorry, dad. I've got one shot at this.
Danny stops the RV almost just below Vlad and Maddie. A laser canon appears out of the top of the RV while the control panel in the RV switches to ghost battling mode. Danny fires an ectoplasmic beam at Vlad which he knocks away. Danny uses the lightning option next, but Vlad just phases through it. The ectoplasmic goo option, however, manages to hit Vlad, knocking him back and knocking Maddie out of his hand. Danny quickly overshadows Jack and uses him to catch Maddie before she hits the floor.
MADDIE: Jack! You did it!
DANNY: (as Jack) It was nothing, mom. (catches himself) Uh, Maddie! Sure, heh, Maddie. (chuckles nervously)
Crow: (DANNY AS JACK) Yep! No ghosts in here, no way! Emptier than Utah!
Danny sets Maddie down.
DANNY: (as Jack) You make sure Harry's okay while I finish this.
Maddie runs in the direction of the RV while Danny, still overshadowing Jack, lifts up Vlad off the ground.
DANNY: (as Jack) How's it going, V-man?
VLAD: (mocking) Ooo, you overshadowed Jack. Ooo, I'm so scared. Now what's next? A card trick?
DANNY: (as Jack) Listen to me. I swear I'll walk out of my dad right now and expose us both, unless you agree to a truce.
VLAD: ...You're bluffing.
Danny sets Vlad down a bit.
DANNY: (as Jack) No I'm not! My parents will accept me, no matter what. But if I expose you...Well, heh, what would my mom think of you?
Sam: (dazed) What happened?
Danny: Crow pulled Ember's guitar out of Hammer Time.
Tom: That's Hammer SPACE! SPACE!
Vlad makes a face at the thought of that. Danny sets Vlad down.
DANNY: (as Jack) You'll be miserable and alone for the rest of your life. Unless you call a truce.
VLAD: (amused) Using your opponents weaknesses against him. I am teaching you something after all. Very well. Truce. Eventually you will join me by choice. You and your mother. But for now...
Crow: (VLAD) Just put on some pants!
Vlad clears his throat and floats up towards the ceiling.
VLAD: CURSE YOU, Jack Fenton! Your world-renowned expertise of all things ghost has defeated me! ...Until next time, son.
Vlad does a long disappearing act, turning himself into mist. Danny then leaves his father's body and flies off while intangible. Maddie and Harry stand next to Jack.
HARRY: World-renowned expertise! Outstanding!
MADDIE: Jack! I have never seen you like this. You beat that ghost all the way to Kenosha!
JACK: (puzzled) I did? Aw, heck. I'm just doing my job.
Maddie hugs Jack.
HARRY: And mine! Jack! For all the years I thought you were a crackpot, I sort of apologize.
Danny joins his parents at their side.
HARRY: Ghosts! This story will make your career, and mine!
Later the RV pulls away from Vlad's castle and drives down the road. Danny is sitting in the passenger seat with his dad at the wheel. Jasmine is lying on a bed while Maddie sleeps in a different one.
DANNY: I can't believe they fired Harry.
JASMINE: Of course they fired her. She tried to file some crackpot story about ghosts. It's the Milwaukee Journal, not the National Enquirer.
JACK: I can't believe Harry blames me. And Vlad was so mad he didn't even say goodbye. (depressed) And we were all such great chums in college.
DANNY: Ah, whatever. Who cares what you were when you were younger? It's who you grew into that makes you who you are.
JACK: You think?
Tom: (DANNY) No, this is one of those little white lies that doesn't hurt anyone.
DANNY: Hey, if you can cause that much damage in college and still turn out to be this cool ghost butt-kicking adult, well, maybe there's hope for me yet.
Jack puts an arm around Danny's shoulder.
JACK: Thanks, son. ...But your curfew's still ten.
DANNY: Aw, man!
The RV drives past a sign reading "Now Leaving Wisconsin" and the lights on the sign flicker off.
-End Title Card Screen-
END PART TWO
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END BITTER REUNIONS
Next Episode: REIGN STORM!