A/N- Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, alerts and favourites...it is such a wonderful feeling. *happy dance* Sorry I am behind on my replies again, but I figured you lot would prefer an update first.
I have a busy time ahead of me and a backlog of brit-picking work to do on worrywart's 'A Raven's Story' (Shameless plug: check it out) so I can't be sure I will manage Chapter 10 within the week but it will be within 2 weeks.
Thank you to worrywart and goldiechik for their wonderful help.
I don't own anything Harry Potter related...except a copy of the books, dvds, a beautiful time turner keyring, photographs of me at the studio, The Monster Book of Monsters, A chocolate frog card and empty box...(mmm was yummy), a bar of Honeydukes chocolate which has sat in my cupboard for a month and a wanted poster of me in Slytherin cloak, with wand, looking badass.
Last chapter:
"I've made a mistake; I acted without thinking and now I have done something I didn't want to do and can never, ever take back," Hermione forced out before bursting into a fresh round of tears.
Just as Severus decided to stand and try and regain some professional composure he felt a small hand grip the sleeve of his robe firmly before Hermione pulled him down so that he was sitting beside her and leant her head against his shoulder; and then, she cried.
X~X
And for 47 surprisingly comfortable minutes, the two sat on the floor; Severus staying perfectly still as Hermione cried. Severus couldn't quite decide whether or not he was infuriated by her over-familiarity or delighted by the opportunity to be close to her. He reached his decision when she sat up, brushed the tears from her eyes and gave him a small tentative smile; he cherished the way she looked at him and would not lose the moments like that for anything in the world.
"What did you do and how do we fix it?" He asked solemnly as he stared at her unblinkingly.
"We?" Hermione choked out in surprise as her eyes drank in the sight of the man beside her.
Severus rose to his feet before offering Hermione his hand. She took his hand and he pulled her upwards, not letting go of her hand right away.
"I hexed Ron," Hermione blurted out before lowering her gaze to the floor. She was relieved to note her professor was still holding her hand but was utterly dumbfounded when she heard what could only be described as a snigger come from him. Her head shot up in anger and defensiveness, and she felt her anger rise as she noticed he was outright laughing by this point.
"Are you enjoying this?" She asked incredulously. "Is there something amusing about this?"
"Ignorance does not suit you Miss Granger; of course I find this situation infinitely amusing," Severus drawled sarcastically with a smirk. "I am entirely sure the fool deserved it."
Hermione hated being teased and so out of nothing more than a natural reflex she pulled her hand away from Severus and stomped across the room, crossing her arms across her chest. She noticed Severus' hand remained slightly outstretched before he flinched and drew it back to his side with a scowl. Realising that she had perhaps hurt his feelings and offended him, Hermione couldn't stop herself from crossing the room to stand directly in front of him. "Sorry, I hate being teased and this is serious! Who hexes their boyfriend? What is he going to say? Oh gods what is Mrs Weasley going to say? Harry? Ginny?" Hermione began rambling in a panic.
"I don't suppose your little drama is any of my concern," Professor Snape spat out coldly before heading for the exit.
"But it is your concern!" Hermione yelled before speaking her next words more gently. "It is your concern because I know you won't be angry at me. You always listen to me, and I feel like I can talk to you about this. You-you always make me feel better." Hermione had spoken these words to the tense back of her professor, which was all she could see of him since he had halted in the doorway. He suddenly spun around before stalking over to her furiously.
"No, I am not your friend," he sneered. "I do not want to listen to you whine about your little lover's tiff, and I am certainly not going to tell you that hexing a fellow member of the magical community is an appropriate way to deal with your little temper tantrums!" He looked her up and down coldly before heading for the exit once more.
"Excuse me, sir," Hermione shouted sarcastically. "Didn't you just say that it was amusing and probably deserved?" Ha, she thought as he turned to face her looking uncomfortable. "What happened to how do we fix it? Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?"
"You are dangerously close to crossing the line Miss Granger," Severus practically growled.
"Oh to hell with it, I've already crossed the line! I'm so far over the bloody line I can't even see it if I turn around!" Hermione yelled before blushing furiously.
Severus heard her words and was attempting to understand what she could mean, but he couldn't concentrate with her standing there with her hair all messed up and her flushed expression. She's far too beautiful when she is angry, he thought as he attempted to figure out a way out of this conversation. She really does look effortlessly sexual when her hair is all messed up like that, I thought that when she came running in here crying…, Severus thought before raising a hand to silence any future outbursts.
"Why did you hex Mr Weasley?" He asked in a deceptively calm voice.
"S-Sorry?" Hermione asked as the flush in her cheeks intensified.
"It is quite a simple question Miss Granger, and as I have mentioned before, ignorance does not suit you." He had walked across the room as he spoke and was once more standing directly in front of her.
She stared up at him with her lips pursed in anger and did not speak a word.
"Did you have a good reason for hexing him or was it just one of your little outbursts similar to the one you have kindly bestowed upon me this afternoon?" He asked as he quirked his eyebrow at her.
"I-I thought you didn't want to know about my little lover's tiff?" She stared up at him, determined to meet his gaze but fear of him using legilimancy on her led to her faltering after merely seconds.
"Actually I feel it is necessary I know the reasoning behind your behaviour so I know how to proceed with any punishment."
"Excuse me?" Hermione choked out.
"You heard me. You are a representative of Hogwarts when you visit Hogsmeade and as your professor I demand to know why you have behaved so recklessly," his nostrils were flaring in an attempt to control his own temper.
She looked up at him as if she were a wounded animal before her expression hardened. "Well, sir, I thought it prudent that I hex Ron before I end up losing my virginity in a disgusting room above The Three Broomsticks." Hermione pretended not to notice her professor's raised brow or the way he was spluttering incredulously and continued to speak over his blustering attempts. "Don't presume that he forced himself on me or anything dramatic like that. I was going to have sex with him, but then I changed my mind; we argued, he hurt my feelings and so I threw one of my legendary little temper tantrums and hexed him before fleeing. I am sure you will decide on an appropriate punishment concerning my reckless actions." She spoke sarcastically, pausing only long enough to ensure the blow of her revelation hit him before flouncing out of the room, and the book shop itself without another word.
Oh fuck. Did I just say that? To Professor Snape? Hermione's mind was racing as she made her way towards the carriage drop off point. I basically told him I was partaking in illicit activities with my boyfriend on a school outing, and it's not as if a man like him is going to be concerned with my emotional welfare. Except that he was concerned and then suddenly he was all cold and distant. What changed? Why is he reverting to his cruel and snarky self? Hermione arrivedat the road end where the carriages usually picked up the students and was surprised to note that there were none in attendance. She spotted a group of fourth year students milling around and walked over to speak with them.
"Excuse me, where are the carriages? They usually sit here all day until it's time to go back, and we still have several hours before that."
"Dunno really," a small Hufflepuff boy muttered hesitantly. "A carriage just left with some Slytherin sixth years. Professor Flitwick was here a minute ago, and he said something about poorly thestrals and them running the carriages in shifts? Anyway, we were told to wait here for the next ones to arrive."
"Oh…ok. Thank you," Hermione offered kindly before turning away from the group. Fuck, she thought as she spotted Professor Snape charging towards her furiously. I'm not sticking around for this, Hermione thought before making her way down the road which led to Hogwarts. I can't handle this right now and especially not from him, not when I…oh how could I be so stupid, Professor Snape? Really?
"Miss Granger, where do you think you are going?" Professor Snape drawled from not far enough behind her for Hermione's liking.
Oh bugger, I forgot how fast he walks. She turned to face him and noticed he was in fact only a few feet away from her and looking severely angry. "I'm not feeling very well sir and there are no carriages, so I thought I would walk back to the school." She nodded her head in the direction of the nearby fourth years who were watching the exchange intently. She watched as comprehension dawned on Professor Snape's face and was surprised by his next words.
"I will escort you back to the castle if you are unable to wait; it is far too dangerous to go traipsing off on your own, unwell and in this cold weather."
"I-I-" Hermione stuttered, desperately racking her brains for an intelligent way of escaping. She struggled to contain her anger when she saw a flicker of a smirk cross her professor's face as he watched her reaction.
"Excuse me, Professor?" A confident voice broke their private exchange.
"Yes?" Snape responded without looking away from Hermione.
"Could we walk back with you? None of us have any money left, and it's too cold to wait around for a carriage." A fourth year Slytherin Hermione knew to be called Perseus confidently asked of his head of house.
Hermione felt a small burst of triumph when she saw annoyance cross Professor Snape's face. Ha, you wanted to shout at me all the way back to Hogwarts and make me uncomfortable and now not only are you unable to do so but you have to put up with a bunch of students, Hermione thought nastily.
"Yes, that is acceptable, but no dawdling," he warned before stalking off after Hermione. She hadn't waited around; as soon as she heard the word 'yes' she had walked away briskly.
"Are you feeling alright, Miss Granger?" He asked loudly as he fell into step beside her.
"No." She kept her gaze on the horizon and maintained her brisk pace.
"What ails you?" He asked with a smirk, pleased that he was putting her on the spot.
"I have a sore heart," she murmured sadly before attempting to walk ahead.
"Concerned about Casanova?" He spat out cruelly but quietly enough that they wouldn't be heard. Hermione turned to look at him and when they locked eyes, she smiled sadly.
"No sir. You see, I have this person in my life; I'm not quite sure how to describe them. Not quite a friend, but someone who is important to me. Anyway they have sorely disappointed me today, and I find myself heartbroken that they aren't quite the person I thought they were." She did not falter in her steps, not even when he came to an abrupt stop and so Hermione found herself walking most of the way back to the castle alone as her professor hung back to hide amongst the fourth years.
I have done nothing wrong, Severus desperately reasoned with himself as he kept an eye on the solitary figure ahead. I offered her comfort when she needed it, and then I discussed an issue of appropriate behaviour and suitable punishment with her. I am a staff member; it is not only my right to do so but my responsibility. Except that I actually threw a Granger-style tantrum because she stopped holding my hand and wanted to have sex with her boyfriend. Severus had been arguing with himself all the way back and now that the castle was in sight he found himself feeling anxious that he hadn't had the opportunity to make things right with Hermione. He turned around and noted that the group of students accompanying them were quite far behind, and so he decided to catch up with Hermione and attempt to diffuse the tension between them.
"Miss Granger, I feel that we should discuss the matters of the day before we reach the castle," he spoke firmly but not unkindly after feeling a little chastised by her earlier words.
"I don't," she offered with a laugh.
"Miss Granger-" he began furiously.
"Oh, so it is Miss Granger now?" Hermione asked sarcastically as she turned to face him with tears in her eyes. "It's just I could have sworn you called me Hermione twice last night and once today, but I guess that was your alter ego speaking," she continued marching at a furious pace.
"You have crossed the line Mi-"
Hermione whirled around furiously. "No, you have crossed the line Severus; don't you dare pretend otherwise." She spoke bitterly as she wiped the tears which were now falling freely from her eyes. "I'm not a normal student; the other teachers think of me as a fellow member of The Order or an ex-student who has merely returned to the school as a formality. Minerva even considers me a friend and I thought…I thought you and I were becoming friends too. Clearly, I was wrong. I apologise if I have overstepped the boundaries but I have evidently misread the situation entirely. I apologise for speaking inappropriately today; I promise you it will not happen again. I now have a full understanding of our roles and how we should converse with one another. Could you open the gate please?"
"I-I…" Severus stuttered at a loss for words.
"Just open the gate sir, please?" she pleaded despondently as her anger waned.
He nodded as he studied her warily before unwarding the gate and letting her through. She marched on a little before stopping and taking a minute to compose herself. She turned around and smiled at him, and he felt his heart clench uncomfortably as it dawned on him how much hurt he had caused her.
"Could I possibly speak out of turn one last time sir? I promise I'll keep it brief," she asked in a shaky voice as she wrapped her arms around herself and peered round her professor to check for other students.
He simply nodded, unable to do much else at this point due to the guilt and sadness eating away at him.
Hermione walked back until she was standing directly in front of him before looking up at him fondly. "For what it's worth sir, I think you are wonderful; when you're not pushing people away and being needlessly cruel that is. If you let people see the good in you, life might be a little easier, or a little less lonely.
"Yes, because doing that obviously works so well for me," Severus commented dryly as he pointed between the two of them.
"I'm obviously not the right person to be your friend but I just thought you should know that I was willing, more than willing, that I…" she began to tear up, "that I was-"
"What Hermione?" Severus asked as he stepped closer to her.
"Hermione now?" she asked in genuine puzzlement. "I don't understand you; I don't understand any of this." She stared up at him, he was so close they were practically touching. Suddenly the noise of chattering and laughing broke the powerful silence as the other students came into earshot. Hermione turned and fled leaving a thoroughly confused Severus behind.
X~X
When Hermione reached the common room, she kept her head down. Just sneak up to your room, close the curtains on your bed and then you can cry, she thought to herself.
"Hey Mione, fancy a game of Gobstones?"
Shit, so not what I need right now. She fixed a fake smile to her face before turning around. "Oh hiya Dean, erm I'm not feeling too good so I'm going to go lie down." She rubbed her temples to give the impression of having a headache.
He wandered over to her furrowing his brow in concern. "Are you ok? You look like you've been crying."
Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but her bottom lip wobbled and her eyes filled with tears. She wiped her hand under both eyes before scanning the area to see who was watching.
"Come on," Dean said kindly as he grasped her hand and led her towards the boy's dormitory.
Hermione couldn't bring herself to chastise him for his blatant rule-breaking. When they reached the room, he strode in confidently.
"Where is everyone?" Hermione came to a stop in the doorway, her eyes darting around nervously.
"Playing Quidditch or snogging their girlfriends," he answered with a chuckle as he kicked some smelly socks and questionable looking fruit under his neighbour's bed. "Bunch of pigs this lot," he muttered before sitting on his extremely neat bed. He looked up at Hermione and patted his West Ham bed covers, indicating she should sit beside him. She wandered over reluctantly and plonked herself down beside him with a sigh. He picked up one of Hermione's hands and began rubbing it reassuringly. "It's heartbreak isn't it?" Dean asked with a grimace.
"What? No o-of course not," Hermione blustered as her cheeks turned pink.
"I think I know what's going on with you Hermione; I've seen the way you are around him."
Hermione jumped up and began pacing the floor. "That's...I mean...that's ridiculous!"
Dean jumped to his feet. "Which part of it is ridiculous? The part where he's not particularly good to you-" Dean began
True, Hermione thought.
"The part where you're so wrong for each other-"
Well that's a tad extreme, if he was a bit younger, not my teacher and not an ex-Death Eater we'd be fairly well suited, Hermione thought huffily.
"And he makes you unhappy. Being around him should make you happy!" Dean finished.
"Being around him does make me happy; I adore spending time with him. It's all the other issues that make me miserable!" Hermione argued passionately, still in disbelief that Dean had figured it out.
"Like his immature attitude, lack of consideration and stubborn tendencies?" Dean raised an eyebrow in challenge.
"He's the least immature person I've ever met!" Hermione bristled at how wrong Dean had Severus.
"Hermione are you mental? Are we talking about the same guy here?" Dean chuckled whilst shaking his head.
Oh shit, stupid, stupid Hermione, she thought to herself all the while attempting not to outwardly show her reaction.
Dean clocked her sudden silence and neutral expression. "We are talking about the same guy aren't we?"
"Well I was talking about Ronald obviously," Hermione rolled her eyes. Obviously!
"Hmmm," was all Dean said as he eyed her suspiciously.
"Ok, I'll tell you what happened," she began as she tossed herself back on the bed before launching into a lengthy description (minus the Snape issues). After she had finished Dean was finding it difficult to look at her.
"Dean, it's just sex. I'm sure I'm not the first friend to talk to you about it, and I didn't even go through with it!" Hermione lay on his bed watching him pace anxiously.
"You're the first female friend to mention it!" Dean let out an embarrassed laugh as he continued pacing.
Hermione giggled hysterically before it tailed off into quiet sobs. Dean came over and motioned for her to make room for him before he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him.
"You...why are you crying?"
"Because my relationship is a disaster; I hexed my boyfriend, I acted like a tease and then a freaking nun! Not to mention all the other confusing feelings I'm trying to deal with. Take your pick!"
"Ron deserved to be hexed. You are a young woman who stopped herself from doing something she wasn't ready to do. Your relationship is a disaster, but I doubt that'll be an issue much longer."
Hermione glared at Dean for being so blunt.
"What it's true! When you kindly broke it to him that you weren't ready for...you know, he went in a huff and told you that you were making a big deal out of 'nothing' and that you were a shrill tease for taking offence to him calling your virginity 'nothing'!" Dean sighed and began tracing circles on her upper arm soothingly. "Hermione, I think Ron is a great guy, but he deserved to be hexed and frankly he deserves to be dumped."
As Hermione lay in her friend's arms she felt her worries about Ron evaporate. Dean is right; hexing Ron wasn't a particularly mature way of dealing with the situation, but he did deserve it. No matter what I was playing at any person has the right to change their mind about something like sex. This is the perfect opportunity for Ron and I to end things without it seeming out of the blue, and hopefully we can rebuild our friendship down the line, Hermione thought as she sighed internally with relief. Without the Ron issues weighing her down her thoughts turned to Severus Snape and their bizarre association. Uncomfortable with thinking about something so private and new to her around another person, she bid Dean good night and began her nightly routine in the sanctuary of her room.
X~X
I want Professor Snape, she thought as she put on a pair of pink shorts and a black strappy top. She reached for a pair of slipper socks with penguins wearing top hats on and giggled. THESE socks ARE an abomination, she thought echoing her Professor's earlier words, tossing the socks aside in frustration.
As she snuggled down into bed, she remembered all their encounters that had taken place since porridge-gate; the day he finally seemed satisfied with an answer she gave in class; the evening on patrol where he kindly offered to spend some time working with her on her potions skills; the way he had teased her outside Professor McGonagall's office; their first morning together when she collided with his firm back, and he gently held her hand as he healed her wrist.
Hermione tossed and turned in her bed before more memories of Professor Snape came flooding back; the day they confessed their opinions of one another and had tea with Hagrid; the nights they met on patrol; the day he sabotaged Elenor Heatherill's ingredients in defence of Hermione and then there was Friday night when he landed on top of her and took her to the hospital wing. By this point Hermione was positively breathless as she remembered the feel of him on top of her and some of the little smirks he had sent her way. Urgh I'm obsessed and he's…utterly perplexing, Hermione thought as she punched her pillow, attempting to rearrange it into something more comfortable.
What am I going to do about tomorrow? Surely he doesn't expect me to turn up for our Sunday session after all that arguing today, Hermione thought as she battled to determine the correct course of action. I'm Hermione Granger…I always honour my responsibilities and I never back down from a challenge; I simply must go. But, as Hermione drifted off to sleep, she remembered the way her professor had sneered at her; that he was not her friend and that he didn't care about her problems, and as much as she felt that attending was the correct thing to do, her heart was far too bruised to allow her to face him anytime soon.
X~X
After spending a fitful night tossing and turning, Severus Snape was sure of two things; firstly that he was a stupid bastard, and secondly that he needed Hermione in his life. She was the first person in years to stand up to him, put up with him and still like him…well until I royally fucked that up yesterday, he thought with a sneer. Yes, I think she is beautiful, yes I am undeniably attracted to her, no it will never, ever happen, but does that mean I have to remove her from my life altogether? Severus lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling thinking that there was no point in getting up today as his 10.00 appointment would undoubtedly not show up. Just as he was about to roll over and try and get back to sleep it dawned on him just who his 10.00 appointment was; there is no way Hermione Granger would disobey a teacher, pass up the opportunity to learn, shy away from anything or let someone scare her off. Shit, he thought as he flung his covers off his body and checked the time; 9.45-she'll be here in 15 minutes I know she will, he thought as he gathered some clean clothes and ran into the bathroom.
10.15:
Where the fuck is she? Severus thought as he slumped against the desk. After getting ready and rushing through to his classroom for 9.58, Severus had been determined to look poised and relaxed so he had sat down at his desk, completely disregarding the fact that he was not wearing his outer robes. As the minutes ticked by and she still hadn't arrived, anger began to course through his veins. She's just like the rest; abandoning me, giving up on me, he thought with a snarl. Well I may not be able to force her to like me but I can certainly force her to uphold her promises, he thought bitterly as he marched out of his classroom and began striding down the hallway, his eyes narrowed slits of rage. It wasn't until a terrified first year looked him up and down that he realised he was stomping about the castle in only black trousers and a white shirt. Furthermore he had rolled the sleeves up and pushed his hair back off his face as he had paced his classroom furiously.
"10 points for gawking," he snapped at the first year who then scurried away with a yelp. He smirked before disillusioning himself and slipping into the shadows.
X~X
What the hell, Hermione thought as she awoke with a start. The pounding on her door continued, and she glanced at her grandmother's old watch that lay by her bed. With eyes blurry from sleep it took her a moment to focus but when she did and she saw that it was 10.25, she had no doubt that it was Severus Snape at her door. She jumped out of bed and stood by the door.
"Who is it?" She attempted to speak firmly but it came out a croaky whisper.
"Open the door," a voice she knew only too well growled.
"Excuse me?" She spoke in shock, staring down at her half naked self.
"Open the door at once, lest you want to spend your days regretting that you never sat your N.E.W.T's."
In a panic and a fit of indignation, Hermione opened the door a fraction and was surprised to see nobody waiting outside her door. She paused and the silence terrified her. She opened the door a little more before she spotted the tell-tale shimmer of a disillusioned person; before she could react, a shimmering foot was wedged firmly in her door. She stepped back, giving up the pretence that she had any control over the matter and the door swung open before closing firmly. Although it came as no surprise that it was Professor Snape standing before her once he removed the disillusionment charm, she was shocked to notice his lack of formal attire.
He stared at her, nostrils flaring and breathing heavily.
She stared at him, chest heaving and hands trembling.
Moments passed and still nobody spoke and nobody moved.
What the fuck is he doing and could he look any hotter doing it, Hermione thought in desperation as she drank in the sight of him with his arms showing and a few buttons undone. His hair was pushed back from his face and the tips still looked wet as if he had recently showered. She shivered involuntarily as goosebumps prickled her skin.
What the fuck is she wearing and could she look any more tempting, Severus thought as he drank in the sight of her standing before him. Her feet were bare and perfectly formed, even her feet are pretty, he thought with a snort of disbelief. His eyes travelled up long, smooth legs which filled out into surprisingly womanly thighs for one so slim. Her shorts ended indecently close to her crotch, and he considered that if she turned around he could almost definitely see the curve of her buttocks. Her shorts sat low, and he could see a small expanse of a toned yet curvaceous stomach before a tight top covered and yet clung indecently to a shapely waist and firm, perky breasts. I am done for, he thought as his eyes travelled up to a part of her he was more familiar with, her beautiful face. Her cheeks were flushed with, rage? Embarrassment? He did not care, all he knew was that those flushed cheeks combined with her luscious figure and bedraggled hair completely destroyed his self-control. Her hair was a disaster, an absolute fright. It was bushy, sticking up and he could almost see the knots forming as they stood and yet, she had never unnerved him more or looked more perfect.
He took a few steps towards her, willing himself to speak. She backed away from him until she found herself up against the wall. He saw how vulnerable she looked and recognised that this was his opportunity to claw back some control and so he charged on, only coming to a stop directly in front of her, his eyes boring into her own.
"Do you know what day it is?" He could smell her shampoo, perfume, natural scent…all of it; he wasn't sure what exactly she smelled of, but he knew he could inhale it for days.
"S-Sunday." She began with a wobble but managed to state loudly, her chest heaving enticingly as she spoke.
"Do you know what time it is?" He glared at her and inhaled a sharp breath as she began biting her bottom lip. When she released it to speak, he had to resist the urge to bite it himself.
"Around 10.25?" She asked nervously.
"Even later than that, Miss Granger," he teased condescendingly. "Do you remember where you are supposed to be during this hour on a Sunday?"
She glared at him before speaking. "In your classroom, but I hardly think-"
"Did I tell you that your presence was not required today?" He raised a hand as he interrupted her, only letting it fall to his side as he finished speaking.
"Well, no but-"
He raised his hand once more cutting her off. "A simple yes or no will suffice." His voice was dangerously calm and Hermione cursed her treacherous body for responding to his cruel tone.
"No," she ground out before crossing her arms, not realising that it only pushed her breasts up and gave her professor an even better view. She watched as his eyes seemed to somehow smoulder and although she knew she should be mad at him for everything, especially for his behaviour right now, she had never wanted to kiss someone so much in her life.
"So why are you standing here in your pyjamas," he sneered as he looked her up and down, "when you should be in my classroom, working?" He enunciated every syllable as he brought one of his hands up to lean against the wall, trapping her.
Gods I wish he would stop being an arsehole and kiss me, we both know what's going on here, Hermione thought as she stared at his mouth in fascination. I don't know how or why but I know that he feels what I feel…he has to.
Why is she staring at my lips like she wants to devour them? I thought that was the way I looked at her; not the other way around, Severus thought. She can't possibly feel what I feel…she just can't.
Hermione unfolded her arms and rested her palms against the wall behind her, her intention was to hold herself steady but all she did was push her body closer to Severus. Her upper body came into contact with his own and she had to stifle a moan when she felt her nipples rub against his warm chest. He exhaled audibly before his eyes closed for a moment.
She's going to be the death of me, he thought as he fought with all his might not to grab her and kiss her. Does she want me to kiss her? It feels like that moment in the book shop when I could have sworn she was about to kiss me before we were interrupted, Severus thought as he studied her reactions closely. Nothing to interrupt us in her private rooms, he thought feeling something between excitement and anxiousness. He swallowed, trying to get more air into his lungs and gulped; he watched her watch his reactions.
"I couldn't face you," she murmured softly from under her lashes as she stared at the floor.
Severus brought one hand up to her chin and used his hand to guide her eyes back to his own. "Why not?" His voice was gruff and gravelly instead of his usual smooth baritone, and he had to stop himself from cupping her cheek.
"Because…because of yesterday: all of it," she finished, before he could ask which part. "Because I thought we were…s-something and you turned on me. I didn't think you would want me in your classroom today, or ever again for that matter. I was just trying to give you what you wanted," As she spoke her eyes had filled with tears and she broke eye contact with him, focusing on his left shoulder.
"You don't hate me then?" He rasped, stunned by her shocked expression as she returned her gaze to his face.
"Never," she breathed out, sounding surprised that he would think such a thing.
"You haven't given up on me?" He asked quietly as one finger gently caressed her face.
"Couldn't even if I wanted to," Hermione smiled ruefully at the man who had become her world.
As Severus Snape stood there, pressed against a girl half his age with her chest heaving and her eyes glistening with tears, he tried to figure out what his next move should be. He thought about all the time they had spent together, the way she had spoken to him, looked at him, and the trust she had placed in him and suddenly it became clear how he should proceed.
He knew what he should do, what he wanted to do, what he needed to do…
A/N- Reviews make me happy, being happy makes me write, writing makes me post, posting makes you review, reviews make me happy...do you see where I'm going with this lol. That seemed to work the last time so I thought I would repeat the sentiment. I am excited about this chapter and I hope you guys are too! x