Chapter 8: You Can't Blame Me
Gabe succeeded in stealing my phone three more times after that, during which I would walk in on him scrolling through my texts, which for some reason were only mine and none from Dean. It didn't make any sense. Why would the texts disappear when Gabe and I were fighting about it, but whenever I was along they'd appear again?
I told Dean about it and he said it was probably just the phone being a piece of crap. Gabe disagreed, every time it came up we'd end up fighting about it, me trying to wrestle the phone out of his hand.
"Cas, I want you to go see a psychologist. Dr. Crowley is brilliant at what he does, maybe he could help you." Gabe said one Wednesday afternoon while I was making lasagna.
"Gabe, I told you, I'm okay, there's nothing wrong with me. The phone is just being a stupid piece of crap. All Dr. Crowley ever does is send his patients off to the asylum." I was trying to stay calm, but Gabe was making it difficult.
"Then how do you explain the disappearing texts? You won't let me meet Dean; you're the only one who sees his texts. You're making me worry, Cas." Gabe was standing next to me by now, trying to get me to look at him. I refused.
"You know what? Fine, I'll bring Dean over on Friday and we can have dinner here, then you can finally put to rest your theory of me being crazy." I opened the oven and shoved the lasagna in. If Gabe was so damn desperate to meet Dean, then fine, he'll meet Dean.
"Thank you, Cas." Gabe sighed.
"Whatever."
I met Dean on my way home from Ash's convenience store that Friday. Dean was dressed in his neatest jeans and t-shirt, he offered to help me carry my bags but I refused, I didn't want him sweating or anything, Gabe had to like him.
I stopped Dean outside the lobby of the apartment building.
"Dean, look, Gabe's gonna be weird, he's going to try to make you feel uncomfortable and weird. Just try to ignore it, resist the urge to punch him in the face. Just be your charming self and the whole night should go fine, okay?" I said, my heart hammering in my chest. This was the point where my hands were beginning to sweat and my chest felt like it had a vice around it that kept getting tighter.
"Don't worry, Cas, I'll behave." Dean said with a smile. The tension in my chest eased ever so slightly.
The elevator ride to our floor was quiet and awkward. My chest kept getting tighter, I had this horrible feeling that something was going to go horrifically wrong.
We stopped in front of the apartment's door. The hallway was completely deserted. I took a deep breath and looked at Dean. He gave me an encouraging smile and kissed me. Well, here goes nothing. I placed my hand on the doorknob and just as I was about to turn it I heard them, voices coming from the other side of the door.
"Do you think something could really be wrong with him?" came Gabe's voice, concerned.
"There is a possibility that he could be imagining all of this, I've seen it before, people who were so desperate for some sort of companionship that their minds conjure up a companion for them." Said a voice I couldn't recognize. My heart leaped into my throat, my blood ran cold. Gabe had called Dr. Crowley; he wanted to cart me off to the asylum.
"But what if that's the case? What do we do?" Gabe asked. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything.
"We take him into observation, keep him at the asylum for a few nights and see if he gets better. If he doesn't get better, unfortunately we might have to make his stay more permanent." Anger was welling up inside me now. How could Gabe allow this? How could he think I was really crazy? Dean's hand rested on my shoulder. I looked at him and he smiled at me.
"Well, you can all go to hell." I said, opening the door and walking in, Dean trailing behind me. "Gabriel, I'd like you to meet Dean." I said, turning around to give Gabe a better look at Dean. Dean smiled. I looked at Gabriel, he looked horrified. I looked at Dr. Crowley, a pitying look crossed his face.
"Castiel, it's a pleasure to meet you. Though I couldn't say the same about this Dean fellow, there's no one there, my boy." The man said. My heart began to beat even faster, my chest felt like it was going to explode.
"What the hell are you talking about? He's right-" I cut myself off, looking at where Dean was supposed to be standing. There was nothing, just the empty air in which I could have sworn he had been standing only seconds ago. "What? Dean?"
"Oh, Cas." Gabe said, stepping closer to me. I recoiled. No, this couldn't be happening. Dean was right there.
"Castiel, I'd like you to come with me for a few nights, I want to help you." The doctor said, staying calm.
No, no, this was wrong, Dean was right there, Dean had touched me, he held me when I felt like I couldn't go on anymore, Dean loved me, Dean kissed me, Dean heard when I spoke to him, Dean was there, Dean was there.
"No! I'm not going anywhere with you!" Tears were streaming down my face. Dean had been right there. Had he left? Where was he?
"I'm sorry, my boy, but if you don't come willingly, I'm going to have to ask my friends here to take you." It was only then that I realized there were two men standing off to the left of the kitchen.
No, I wouldn't go with them, Dean was there, Dean was real. He loved me. I had to prove it to them. Then I remembered, the Saturday after my birthday, the cliff, the ring. I hadn't taken the ring off once since Dean had put it on my finger, it was there, it was real.
"No! He's real! He gave me this!" I held up my hand for them to see the golden ring that was on my index finger, my eyes locked on their faces. I wasn't crazy. Dean had given me this ring, Dean loved me.
"Cas, there's nothing there." Gabe said through tears of his own.
What? I looked at my hand, my eyes blurred from the tears. It was gone, the ring that Dean had given me. It wasn't there. Dean was gone, Dean didn't exist. But Dean loved me, Dean held me at night when my father screamed for Bobby, He held me when I couldn't walk.
"No! No, it was right there! It's always been there! Gabe, you have to trust me. Dean's real. Gabe! Please!" I pleaded. Dean was real, why couldn't they believe me? Why.
"I'm sorry, Castiel, please come with me." The doctor said.
"No! No! I'm not going!" the doctor signaled to the men, who were coming closer. I fought them off as best I could. I shouted, I screamed. Dean was there again, then he was gone, standing in front of me while the men tried to drag me to the elevator, every time I saw him there was a smile on his face.
Dean was there, Dean loved me. Dean made the pain go away.
Dean was there. Dean loved me.