Chapter Three

He was walking up to the patio very slowly, deliberately delaying every step for as long as he could. Driving to Wilgul had given him time to ponder, time to clear his mind, time to think things over. But no matter how much thinking he did, the situation just didn't start looking any better for him. There still was that unpleasant feeling down there in his guts, his stomach or wherever, the toxic mixture of guilt and shame.

"Uncle Alex!" A familiar girl's joyful call pulled him out of his thoughts. His mood changed rapidly when he saw his niece running down the stairs that led up to the veranda.

"Why, that can't be my little princess…c'mere!" He picked her up, spinning her around in the air. Emily was still giggling when he stopped and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I missed you!"

"I missed you! Do that again!"

"You mean this?" He spun her around once more, more wildly this time.

"Yeah!"

"No."

The little girl laughed and squealed while he carried her up the stairs over his shoulder. "Lemme go!"

Her uncle set her down next to the chair in which her mum was sitting, drinking a cup of coffee and going over some papers. Right at that moment, an older girl stepped outside. "Meg asks-" She fell quiet when she noticed the man who was standing on the veranda, too.

Alex was equally petrified, unable to utter a greeting. Of course he recognized her, although she had changed a lot since he had last seen her. Her long hair had darkened considerably, its shade lay now somewhere in between honey blonde and light brown, with a few streaks that were naturally lighter than the rest, and of course, she was taller. She looked a lot like a younger version of Tess, or at least what he could imagine a younger version of Tess would have looked like, but he could definitely detect a lot of her mother in her features, too- most strikingly, her eyes. It was those blue eyes by which he would have been able to identify her anywhere, the last bit of Claire that was left in this world. And, he noticed with a sort of smug satisfaction, there were definitely no obvious similarities to Peter.

This was the moment he had been waiting for, hoping for in the past few years. He had almost given up hope that it would ever happen, but now it was here…and he noticed that he had been staring at the child without saying a word for too long now. "Hi, I'm Alex." Just Alex, the neighbour with no particular significance.

BOM was staring back at him without a smile, somewhat coolly, and swallowed. This meeting felt so awkward to him, so…wrong. She stretched out her hand with a strange self-confidence, a self-confidence that would have been more suitable for an adult. "Charlotte Prudence McLeod-Johnson."

He couldn't help laughing, took her hand and shook it. "Yeah, I know. I suppose you don't remember…"

"No." The answer came very quickly and sounded rash.

"Alex is your godfather." Tess tried to take some tension out of the situation with a friendly smile, but it still didn't become more comfortable.

Charlotte ignored the information and looked back at her aunt. "Meg asks how many of us are gonna be here for dinner."

"Let's see…Alex and Terry are coming…that makes it ten. I'll tell her in a moment."

"That's okay, I'll do it." She turned around and walked back into the kitchen with determination.

"Charlotte!" Tess stood up, she was caught off-guard by her niece's repellent behaviour. "I'm sorry, Alex. Could you watch Emily for a moment?" She went after the older girl immediately.

"It's okay." A very baffled and hurt Alex was left behind on the patio, watching Emily play with a bunch of plastic animals on the floor, secluded in her own world.

"Look, Uncle Alex, the pony can nod!" She held up one of the skewbald horses for him to see and moved its head.

"Wow, that's awesome!" It made him smile a little, but he only paid attention with half an eye, not making any further comments or playing with his niece. The truth was, it wasn't okay, not at all. This reunion had definitely gone wrong, only he wasn't quite sure why. He was disappointed and confused, how often had he pictured this moment in his mind? Did he really deserve this? Either Charlotte was an unfriendly and serious child by nature, or…

And suddenly, Alex was afraid. Afraid of what the seven-year-old girl, who used to be his little BOM, might think of him.

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"That was very rude!" Tess rebuked her niece with a frown, still wondering what was going on. "You don't just walk away from people like that."

"I don't like him!" Charlotte exclaimed, more emotional than before.

"Why?"

"Cos I don't!" And with that, she ran out of the kitchen, upstairs to her room.

"Let her calm down for a bit" Meg advised Tess while she was cutting vegetables on the kitchen table. "You can talk to her about it later; right now, you wouldn't get anything out of her. What in the world happened out there?"

"I have no idea" Tess replied, sinking into a chair. "Alex came and right from the start, she was acting very…icily, you know. And then she just walked out without a reason."

"Give her time. Maybe it's just a bit much for her-being here, meeting all of those new people who seem to know her, getting compared to a mother she never got to know."

"Maybe" Tess muttered, not really convinced that this could be everything. She switched the topic, although all that she really wanted to do was to follow Charlotte upstairs. "There'll be ten of us for dinner. What are we gonna have?"

"Well, guess…"

Her face lit up when she observed the fruit on the table. "Apricot chicken! Meg, you're the best! Want me to help you?"

"Ha, I definitely don't, this is your first day here, you can at least let me cook you a welcome dinner."

"But I feel useless! I've taken a shower, unpacked, shown Charlotte around the house, now let me help."

"Well, then…take a nice long ride across the land."

"How would that be useful?"

"You could check on the fences."

"The new one did a little while ago."

"Chloe?"

"Yes." She had forgotten the quiet new worker's name for a moment. The girl was about 19 or 20 years old and fairly inexperienced when it came to farm work, but Stevie had sworn that it would be cost-efficient to let her work for board and lodging and "educate" her while she did. It was amazing how many people were willing to join the "Willing Workers On Organic Farms" programme these days, in the hope to become real jackaroos/jillaroos. It still felt a bit like exploitation to Tess and of course an unskilled labourer who only stayed for a couple of months would never be able to replace a trained one like Kate. "How is she holding up?"

"Oh, she's doing her best. She's trying really hard, you know, and although there were some problems at first, she has improved a lot and she's eager to learn. But I'm still not sure if this is the right place for her."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she's a shy one and every time she makes a mistake, she gets really upset about it and usually makes it worse by trying to correct it, which angers Stevie a lot. And you know how people can be out here…Chloe's just a bit…sensitive. It's a pity; she's still a nice girl."

Tess nodded, with a distinct feeling that some troubles would come up. "How's Kate doing? Have you or Jodi heard from her lately?"

"Not in a while, I suppose she's very busy with the farm. The start is always tough."

Alex entered the kitchen, holding Emily's hand. "Tess, we'd like to go and say hi to the horses, if that's all right."

"Sure, have fun!" She looked after them thoughtfully. It was so enjoyable to watch Alex with kids, to see how he won their trust. Somehow, he had preserved just the right tinge of childishness without losing his authority. Alex, the masher, she thought with a smile, had turned out to harmonize wonderfully with children. He would make a great dad someday and she was sincerely hoping that he would get the chance to be one.

But right now, she would have to resolve what was going on with him and Charlotte. She stood up from her chair and left the kitchen. "I'll go check on BOM."

The door to the guest room, which had become Charlotte's provisional room, had been left half open. Tess was able to hear a sort of scratching sound from the inside and knocked, peeking around the door. "Can we talk, Charlotte?"

Her niece didn't answer, so Tess simply entered and approached the girl, who was sitting on the floor with her back towards her, scribbling something on paper with crayons. Actually, it looked more like she was trying to destroy the picture, which displayed a wild mixture of black, red and yellow. Tess sat down beside the girl, cross-legged, watching her. "What's that supposed to be?"

When no reply came from Charlotte, Tess laid a hand on her arm and halted its rapid movements. "Hey, I really want to know why you're so angry. You've got to help me here."

"I wanna go home."

Tess swallowed, pretending to have no problem with it. "Okay, I'll give you a ride tomorrow morning. That doesn't answer my question, though. Why did you say that you don't like Alex? I mean it's okay not to like someone…but you don't really know him."

For the first time, Charlotte looked back at her and she was able to see that there was more sadness than fury in her eyes. "Don't be mad at me, Aunty Tess, please", she pleaded.

Tess pushed a loose strand of her niece's hair back gently, transiently stroking her cheek. "I'm not, sweetheart. I just want to understand what's going on."

Charlotte avoided her aunt's gaze again, fumbling the paper. "Cos…" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I lied."

"About what?"

"When I said I didn't remember…well, I don't remember a lot, but some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Like when we were at the zoo and Alex showed me the elephants and this big one tried to throw some fruit at us." She was actually smiling now. "And then we were at the beach and ate some ice cream. And when we got home…everyone was yelling at each other, but I didn't get why. Then, Alex promised he was gonna come back soon. He promised, but- but…"

"But he never came?" Tess suggested cautiously.

Charlotte nodded, wiping her eye with her palm. Tess understood some things now and it made her feel sad and angry at the same time. Sad for her niece's disappointment, for what she had been deprived off, and angry- angry about the broken promise, angry with Alex. Only it didn't make sense, she was missing some crucial part here. It wasn't like Alex to break an important promise, and even less to abandon his almost-stepdaughter. Unless, unless…unless what?

"Dad said that he didn't wanna come anymore, that he was too busy. But he always, always liked to come, and he promised!" Her voice was shaking with fury, but she was at the verge of crying.

Tess put an arm around her, drawing nearer. "I'm sure he had a good reason why he couldn't come, I'll talk to him about it. You're right, it's wrong to break a promise, but Charlotte, I know one thing- he was very happy to see you today. You always meant a lot to him."

"I don't care!"