"Izaya?"

"Oh hi, Shinra!"

Shinra squinted at his alarm clock. The numbers were blurry and he couldn't see the time due to the fact that he didn't have his glasses on, but he knew it had to be some ungodly hour of the night. Or perhaps the morning.

"What do you want, Izaya? I'm trying to sleeeep."

He heard a chuckle from the other end of the line, "Well, you see. I'm a bit concerned. As I'm sure you know, it is very late at night."

Izaya paused dramatically, and Shinra felt his annoyance rise. He just couldn't keep up his happy persona when he was tired. He stared jealously at Celty's sleeping form as she rolled over.

"Yes. It is in fact very late," Shinra agreed. "So late that I would rather be sleeping than talking to you."

"Haha, oh you," Izaya giggled, "Would you mind telling me why Shizu-chan is in my home claiming to be carrying my child? Did you do an experiment on him that broke his brain?" Izaya's voice began to show irritation with each passing word.

Even so, that got Shinra's attention. Izaya is the father? Of all people? Could it be?

"Well, actually, I can vouch and say that Shizuo is definitely one hundred percent pregnant. I didn't know who the father was. Well, now I know."

Shinra could hear a loud huff and a crash.

Izaya growled and mumbled something. He then scoffed incredulously, "You can't be serious."

"I'm afraid I am. Now if you'll excuse me." Shinra hung up without waiting for Izaya's reply.

He looked over at Celty. She would not be pleased with the news. Not at all.

~ ~ ~

Shizuo glared at Izaya as he spoke on the phone to Shinra. The blond had his arms crossed and his face twisted into a scowl.

Izaya. How dare he call Shinra? Did he think Shizuo would lie about such a thing? Did he think Shizuo was stupid?

Apparently yes. Yes, he did.

This made Shizuo slam his fist down on Izaya's coffee-table. When Shizuo had made his confession, the two of them had migrated to Izaya's living room.

Izaya eye twitched. "Brutish protozoan," he mumbled under his breath before sneering into the phone, "You can't be serious."

He paused and Shizuo guessed that meant Shinra was talking. Then Izaya pulled the phone away from his ear and glared at it.

Then the brunette turned and glared at the pregnant man, "Were you trying to break that?"

Izaya nodded to the wooden pieces that had once been the aforementioned coffee table.

"You had to go and call Shinra?" Who the hell did Izaya think he was? "You thought I was joking? If I say I'm pregnant, I'm fucking pregnant."

Izaya rolled his eyes, "I guess a single-celled organism, such as yourself, wouldn't understand why I would be concerned that someone I have come to know as being a manhas come to tell me he is having my baby." Izaya looking down his nose at Shizuo, "I guess that explains the years of horrible temperment. Estrogen can do that to a person."

Shizuo twitch and grabbed a large piece of former-table. He broke it in half, "I'm not a woman!"

"I think I, of all people, would know that best." He stalked closer to Shizuo, who was beginning to tense. When he was standing in front of the blond, Izaya reached out and skimmed his fingers along Shizuo's twitching stomach, still bare from their earlier undressing. The red-eyed man smirked, "I suppose it wouldn't be too bad. Imparting the fruit of my loins upon this world. More me for everyone, ne?"

Shizuo snorted, "Everyone'd be doomed."

Izaya ignored the comment, "Too bad my doppleganger has to have your DNA as well. Oh well, I suppose beggars can't be chosers. Not that I would ever beg."

"Hopefully, for everyone's sake, the baby'll be nothing like you," the ex-bartender snarled.

"As if anyone would be safer if it was like you," Izaya snickered. "Speaking of which, I'm surprised you haven't picked up my couch and thrown it yet."

The blond's nose scrunched up, "It makes me sick. Shinra told me not to." Shizuo was indeed having the urge to pelt things at Izaya, but the threat of vomiting again made him try his hardest to hold back.

The brunette looked up at the other man's face before sighing, "Well, what am I supposed to do with you?"