Shizuo slept over that night. He slept in the guest room, not wanting to be near Izaya.
"You say that as if I was dying to sleep with you, Shizu-chan~" Izaya smirked, "Who showed up at whose house unannounced, hmm?"
"Fuck you, louse," was Shizuo's only reply.
The blonde slept fitfully that night. It was odd to be in Izaya's house. Wait! What the hell was he thinking about?! It was weird that he had a baby in his stomach. A parasite's baby in his stomach! How the hell was the kid supposed to come out anyway?!
Shizuo laid there pondering this for who knows how long, but, by the time he finally felt settled down, Izaya was at the door.
"Shizu-chan~ Wakey-wakey! It's 9 o clock!"
The fuck?
Shizuo hadn't slept at all, and it was already 9:00?
"Shizu-chan, come feed our baby," Izaya whispered directly into Shizuo's ear. The only thought that the blonde was able to process was close, too close, uncomfortably close. He lashed out, swinging his arm backwards with hopes of smacking Izaya across the face.
He was not so lucky. Izaya leaned away at the last moment, and Shizuo's hand merely collided with air.
Shizuo growled and rolled over to face the eerily smiling informant.
"Shizu-chan, come have breakfast with me!"
The blonde glared before reaching into his pockets. They came away empty. Fuck, no cigrettes.
He scrubbed his face with his hands before mustering up his calmest voice, "Izaya, could you get me so cigarettes from the convenience store."
Izaya was curiously silent.
Shizuo waited for an answer a while before pulling his hands away from his face.
The brunette expression was a hideous contortion of horror and disgust, "Heavens no! Think of the baby!"
Shizuo jolted. He hadn't really thought about it, but being pregnant meant he couldn't smoke. He couldn't drink, not that he wanted to drink ever again, and he already couldn't throw things. What would his life come to?
Izaya grabbed Shizuo by the arm and tugged him off the bed, "Don't think too hard, Mommy. You'll pop a blood vessel!"
"Don't call me 'Mommy'. And you calling me stupid?" Shizuo yanked his arm away and walked out of the room himself. Downstairs at the kitchen table, were two plates, each filled with omelettes with a glass of milk beside them. Beside one glass of milk were two white pills.
Shizuo picked up a pill. "The hell is this?"
"Prenatal vitamins! Crucial for the growth of little Iza-chan!"
The ex-bartender frowned, "Don't call it that. And why the hell would I take any kind of pill from you? You might try to poison me! I'll get whatever I need from Shinra."
Izaya frowned, crossing his arms, before smirking, "That's good! Be wary of everything like a good mommy! All for the baby's safety, ne? But still. Why would I try to kill my own seed?"
"The hell should I know? You're fucking crazy!" Shizuo thought for a moment, "I read somewhere that black widow spiders eat their husbands. You could be that kind of crazy."
The information broker chuckled before placing a hand on the other man's arm, "I didn't know you could read!" He held up a hand before Shizuo could yell, "But anyway, you can trust me. I wont kill you while you are carrying my child. In fact, there's a truck outside with all of your things. I can protect you better if you live here with me. Temporarily, of course."
"Wha-?" Shizuo dashed past Izaya's desk to look out of the window, and indeed there was a moving truck idling down below, "How did they get the stuff out of my place?!"
Izaya, always one step ahead, was already holding up a duplicate of Shizuo's house key, when the blond turned to glare at him, "You underestimate me, Shizu-chan."
The blonde seethed and had to hold his breath, lest he pick up Izaya's desk and trigger unwanted morning sickness.
He took several deep breaths. At first he started to feel calmer, but then he started to feel heavier. His throat started to burn. He buried his face in his hands and, before he knew it, he was sobbing quietly.
"Ne, Shizu-chan?" Izaya leaned down in an attempt to, maybe, see through the pregnant man's fingers. "What's the matter? Shocked by my brilliance? I bet you're wondering how I got my hands on your original house key!"
Shizuo turned away from the brunette quickly in an attempt to hide. He just barely managed to choke down his cries, but he couldn't hide the way his shoulders shook.
This Izaya noticed. "Uh, Shizu-chan? Are you-?"
Shizuo couldn't hold it anymore. He wailed.
Izaya was baffled, and he waved his arms in panic. He could handle many a strange thing, but a crying Shizuo was something he'd never be prepared for, "Shit! What did I do?"
"Why-?!" the blonde blubbered, "Why do you hate me so much? Why do you always do this to me? Am I so horrible a person that you have to make my life a living hell?"
The brunette was taken aback, "Excuse me, Shizu-chan, but was it not you who claimed you hated me the first time we met?" He sounded a bit annoyed.
Shizuo looked at him with teary eyes, "I said I didn't like you! I didn't say I hate you!"
Izaya rolled his eyes, "Same thing."
"It's not the same thing!"
Ahh, such a woman, Shizu-chan, Izaya couldn't help but think. "Okay! You're right!"
"I-! Wait, I am?" Shizuo stopped mid-yell.
And just like a woman, correctness satisfies you. Izaya grinned, glad to have the situation back under control, "Yes! I was wrong! I'm sorry, Shizu-chan."
"Oh," the debt-collector's crying stopped, and he felt refreshed, "Oh, okay." He went over and took a seat at Izaya's table. He seemed to have forgotten his earlier protests and took the two prenatal vitamins with a gulp of milk before setting to work on his omelettes.
The informant watched him curiously and had a seat across from the other man. Mood swings already? Izaya mused, And he's so subdued afterwards.
Izaya ran his fingers through his short locks in exasperation but didn't say anything more. He didn't want to aggravate the situation.
He'd just have to have a talk with Shinra about this... predicament.