Chapter Twelve

„Hey, Tess."

She flinched slightly, turned around and gestured him inside. "Shh!"

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you…I know it's pretty late" he said quietly, noticing the two sleeping children. They were both wearing pyjamas and had wrapped themselves in blankets. Emily's head was resting in her mother's lap, while Charlotte had snuggled against the corner of the sofa that was closer to him. It was a peaceful sight.

"Sit down." She had changed into a kind of jogging suit, wearing a towel around her head in the shape of a turban. An empty tea pot was standing on the table in front of her.

"Thanks, but I just stopped by to give you something and to see if everything's alright. Did the storm do any damage?"

She sighed. "Not much…a part of the roof Nick was fixing crashed down again, so the shed's a mess, but that's it. I guess we were lucky."

"Same here, Killarney was pretty well off, too. And we were lucky we got home before it was raging too badly."

"We were." She was softly stroking Emily's blond, wavy hair, lost in thought.

"How did the girls hold up?"

"They were frightened, that's why I let them stay down here with us, although they fell asleep quickly. It was an eventful day for them."

"Oh yeah…"

They remained silent for a moment, just listening to the raindrops hitting the roof. The rhythmical sound of it let Alex feel his own exhaustion. He hadn't noticed just how tired he was up to that moment.

Tess smiled faintly. "Whenever a thunderstorm came, Claire and I'd hide under the bed with a flashlight and tell each other ghost stories…or rather, she'd tell me ghost stories. But if I got too scared, she always consoled me."

He smirked. "Sure sounds like Claire."

"Hm." She paused. "Alex, what happened between you and Charlotte out there? She was so quiet when you got back. I know she may be confused because of what Jodi said, but…something else must have happened."

"We…talked about what had been said –oh, don't look at me like that, of course I told her it wasn't true- and some other things."

"What kind of things?"

"Things related to it. What happened after Claire's death, why I…didn't come back, Claire and me-"

"Claire and you…so she knows?"

He nodded. "I thought it was best, before she hears it from somebody else."

"Right." She seemed relieved. "I'm glad you sorted that out."

"Yeah, but…I'm also worried, Tess" he confessed, lowering his voice. "We talked about Claire a lot, and she was very disturbed by the fact that she doesn't have a mum, that she can't even remember her. Do you by chance know how her relationship with Julia is?"

"It's good, as far as I know. When you watch them, Julia is always very affectionate with her, and she responds to it. I've kept an eye on that, since, you know, it was my greatest concern initially. Charlotte told me about a lot of things they do together, sometimes just the two of them, because the older girls have different interests. It really seems like she treats the three kids equally. She's a nice woman, Alex, and Charlotte loves her; she talks about her a lot."

He was glad to hear that. Although it was hard to picture Julia, the friendly woman who had gotten that unfaithful, lying bloke Peter as a husband, mistreating a child, you could never be sure. People could act strangely when they were frustrated. And who would have wanted to trade places with her…

"Still, let's leave Julia aside…you should've seen her out there, she was so…distraught, and that wasn't just because of what she overheard."

A crease of worry formed on Tess's forehead. Her gaze wandered over to the seven-year-old, who was still slumbering peacefully. "Yes, I've been wondering…I think we should try to integrate her more, to make her feel like she belongs here just as much as everybody else."

"That couldn't hurt, but I think it's more than that. She's got so many questions about her mum. Tess, haven't you noticed that…Claire has become a bit of a taboo subject, especially since Charlotte is around?"

Tess raised her eyebrows. "Well, that's because I didn't want her to feel awkward or…pressured in some way. I thought that if she had questions, she'd come to me with it. But I never made her feel that she couldn't address the subject…not…consciously, at least…" She grew increasingly insecure the more she thought about it.

"I don't know, I'm not a shrink or something, but maybe we should just try to be more…natural about it. I think she likes to hear stories about her mum."

"Yeah…maybe you're right" she answered slowly, full of wonder. "Alex Ryan, when did you actually turn sensitive?"

"Oh, you know, I've always been…this is just the wisdom of age coming through" he replied with a whimsical smile.

She shook her head. "You're full of surprises."

"Yeah, like a huge Christmas box…" he answered sarcastically. "In any case, I should better get going now. It's almost a miracle that the kids slept through our whole conversation."

"Hey, I thought you got something for me?"

"Oh, right, I almost forgot what I was here for. It isn't for you, though, sorry, but for Charlotte." He fumbled for something in the large pockets of his jacket, something which had formed a big bulge, and finally pulled out a framed photograph.

After cleaning the glass with his sleeve, wiping off a few grains of sand with unnecessary caution, he handed it to Tess. "I want her to have this."

As she laid eyes on the picture, her expression softened, and she gently stroked it with her thumb. "I had completely forgotten about this one."

"You never had it. It was on my film. I think Claire was the only other person who saw it, but I forgot to get her another print before…" He took a deep breath. "Anyway, I think Charlotte should have it."

"Oh Alex" she whispered, deeply moved, "are you sure you don't want to keep it? I can give her another one-"

"No, please, take it. You can give it to her tomorrow." He said it quickly, to make sure he didn't change his mind. This picture meant a lot to him, it had been his secret companion for many years. He wasn't even sure why he had kept it inside a drawer instead of situating it for everyone to see- after Claire's death, it had suddenly seemed too painful, too intimate to share, although it didn't show anything spectacular. Only he knew that this had been taken at the moment, the moment he had realized that he never, ever wanted to let them go.

"It's beautiful…" Tess smiled at him, but he could see that she was at the verge of tears. "Thank you, I'm sure she'll love it."

Alex nodded, unable to speak for the moment.

She sighed, looking at the picture nostalgically. "Whatever happened to those dreams of all of us growing old here together?"

"Life."

"Life…" She cleared her throat. "Well, I'll tell Nick you were here. He's in bed already because he wasn't feeling too well after we got back…it's his leg."

"Has he been to a doctor yet?"

"I made him go right before Christmas, he said that it's normal for old injuries to hurt more and less, depending on the circumstances. There's no infection or anything, it's the internal scars."

"Well, you tell him to take it easy over the next few days. And if you need help with that shed-"

"Thanks, but we got it."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye!" Tess moved over a little to look after him as he tiptoed out the door, which caused Emily to stir. She opened her eyes with an indefinable moaning sound and mumbled something incomprehensible, reaching out for her mother.

As soon as she noticed who was standing by the door, though, she was wide awake. "Uncle Alex!"

"Shh…" He put his index finger to his lips, grinning. How had he ever earned that kid's adoration?

She ran over to him and hugged him around the waist, which finally awoke Charlotte, too. She rubbed her eyes and looked around with a sleepy expression on her face. Tess moved next to her and lovingly pushed back a few strands of hair, which had been hanging into her face. "Feeling better?"

Her niece nodded, stifling a yawn. "What's that?" she asked, having spotted the photograph, which was lying on the table.

"It's a picture Alex brought for you."

Charlotte grabbed it; her face lit up when she saw what it showed. "That's Mum!"

Tess put an arm around her. "Yes, and that tiny little girl there would be you."

"She's pretty…I look like I don't care about the ducks."

"Aw, no, you look cute."

"Can I see?" Emily asked curiously, walking back to her mother and cousin again.

Tess nodded, reaching out for her with the other arm. Her daughter scrambled onto her lap, and started studying the picture doubtfully. "That's Charlie?"

"She was only a baby then, honey."

"And that's Aunty Claire, right?"

"Yes, the one who gave you your middle name."

Alex was watching the scene in silence. Charlotte was still beaming at the picture without saying a word, unable to draw her eyes away from it, and that finally assured him that it had been right to give it to her. Besides, he knew the picture so well that he could conjure it up in front of his inner eye any time: Claire was standing by a pond, holding her daughter, and pointing at a group of ducks, trying to arouse her little girl's interest. BOM seemed indifferent to it; examining her mother's shiny gold necklace instead.

Finally, a much older Charlotte did look up, smiling. "Thank you, Alex."

He acknowledged it with a nod. "That picture was taken in Melbourne; we went to the park together and all the while, Claire- your mum showed you different animals. The policemen's horses, 'birdies', 'duckies'…the one time we went to the city, and she was only interested in animals."

Tess and Charlotte smirked, but Emily didn't really understand it. "What's wrong with horses?"

"Nothing, sweetie" he chuckled. "Nothing at all."