I'm really sorry that it took me so long to update (again)! I was having major writer's block problems there…
A big thanks to Anti for helping me on all horse related matters, I would have been stuck forever on the cantering thing, and for generally reading it before and encouraging me!
And I was wrong – two more chapters to go after this one.
Chapter Eighteen
„Nice gaits!" he commented.
„Yeah" Stevie replied with a frown. "We don't need him for dressage competitions, though, but for work."
"Oh yeah, of course, the same goes for the horse."
She threw him a glance that was supposed to look annoyed, but the hint of a lenient smile gave her away.
Alex grinned, watching her lead Kurrajong through a group of barrels with hardly any rein commands. Her footwork was excellent and the horse reacted to it sensitively. "So will he actually get to see a real cow anytime soon?"
Stevie shook her head, still concentrating on the gelding with all of her body. "Not today, I need to be sure of his response to commands first, and he needs to trust me." She slackened the reins a little more, millimetre by millimetre.
"But I thought we were gonna move your stuff."
She stopped the horse and smiled down at him apologetically. "Actually, would you mind if we did that later this evening, after work? I thought I'd manage to squeeze it all in, but it's not just the work with Kurrajong, we need to drove the new cattle way up to the heights this afternoon. I can't leave it all to Tess, Jodi and Chloe."
"Alright." Alex wasn't exactly overjoyed at the prospect of waiting any longer, but there was nothing to be done about it, he could tell from her definite answer. "I'll come back tonight, then. And good luck with those barrels…if I find cow shaped ones on Killarney, I'll let you know."
"Ha-ha, very funny. See ya later!"
He made a few steps towards his car, but changed his mind rapidly and decided to see what the others were up to. The new generator had been installed on Killarney, the sheep were cared for, and there was still enough time to dig the ditch later.
He made his way back from the unused grass land beside the driveway –Stevie liked to train horses in their actual working environment rather than a paddock, if possible- to the homestead.
There, he quickly realized another reason for training Kurrajong away from the stables: one of the paddocks was in use. Tess was standing in the middle of the rectangle, watching Emily ride on a relatively small, skewbald gelding. The horse was still too big for her and it was a pity, Alex thought, that Hopscotch had died so young.
"Very good," Tess praised her daughter, who had adapted her movements to the rhythm of the horse's jog trot fairly well, "just don't cut the corners."
Emily slowed down the gelding's pace and waved at her uncle for a second before focusing on her mother again. "Can I canter now?"
"You're sure you want to try by yourself, without the lunge?" Tess asked, sounding a little worried.
The little girl rolled her eyes, which made Alex smirk. He leaned on the fence next to Charlotte, observing his niece. She had definitely grown more confident with horses over the past few weeks. Tess had no reason to be concerned.
"Please, Mummy?"
"Okay, I think Smudge is warmed up enough. Just remember what I told you about cantering-"
"Don't let your bum slap the horse" her daughter recited with a giggle.
"I'm serious, Emily! Alright, shorten the pace, sit down and give him the signal" Tess instructed slowly, trying to sound calm to avoid making her daughter nervous.
Emily attempted to sit down on the trotting horse, but kept bouncing up and down, so she started clutching the reins to keep her balance.
"The reins are not a handle!" Tess shouted over the sound of the hooves, still trying to be patient. After all, she had been a beginner once, too.
"I know, but I don't wanna fall!"
"You're not going to- okay, don't worry, just take him down to a walk again."
"But I want to canter!"
"You will, just slow down!"
Emily got the horse into a walk and looked at her mother expectantly. "Now what?"
Tess released the breath she had been holding and forced herself to smile reassuringly. "Just gather the reins again, sit down, as heavy as you can, and then give him the signal…but you have to be firm, otherwise he'll only start trotting again, and that's not what you want, right?"
Tess watched her daughter as she tried to adjust her seat. "Sit back a little more. Now, when Smudge starts cantering, you need to follow his movements. Do you know what I mean?"
"Um…yeah…" She didn't sound very convinced.
"Okay, give him the signal…firmly."
Emily used her legs, and it worked: The horse passed over into a smooth canter, but the girl on top still looked very shaky in her position – albeit slightly better than before.
"Try not to stiffen, Em, follow the movements" Tess reiterated.
"I'm trying, Mummy!" Emily replied, full of frustration. She didn't have the patience for this.
"I know you are, sweetheart, but you need to adjust to Smudge's rhythm. Imagine- imagine you're riding on a wave!" It wasn't easy to convey 'imagine you're having sex' to a four-year-old without actually saying it.
Tess could see that her daughter was only getting tenser and tenser – this wouldn't get them anywhere. "Okay, slow him down to a walk again, and don't forget to praise him."
Emily did as told, but not without an expression of anger and determination of her face. Although her flushed cheeks normally would have given her a healthy look, she was visibly crestfallen and threw an envious glance at her older cousin.
Alex felt sorry for her. "That was pretty good!" he remarked encouragingly.
Charlotte picked up on the need to say uplifting and conciliatory things. "Yeah, when I come back next time, we'll probably be able to go for a ride together."
"Yes, you did very well, but I think that's enough for today" Tess stated. "Let's cool Smudge down and leave it till tomorrow."
Emily rode slow circles in silence, pouting. Tess scrutinized the horse carefully. He wasn't exhausted – a bit annoyed, at most. They hadn't practised for long; he was able to take another girl. "Charlotte, it's your turn."
However, the eager reaction Tess had expected didn't come. "That's okay, I…don't really feel like riding today."
Alex frowned. The longing gaze with which she had watched the horse hadn't escaped his notice.
"Are you sure?" Tess asked, slightly disappointed. "You can only ride for free here, and you're going home in two days."
"No, please, I really don't want to, Aunty Tess."
"O-kay" Tess replied in amazement. "You don't have to, of course."
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A few hours had passed since the morning. While the women of Drover's Run were bringing the new cattle up to the heights, a great undertaking, regarding the massive group of cows, Alex had agreed to watch the kids. He didn't mind, he liked having them around on Killarney, although it could get very distracting. Neither one of them had lived in the country in the past few years, and they still seemed to see the farm as a sort of amusement park.
Alex had offered some juice and biscuits, desperately trying to come up with something that would be fun for the children and allow him to do his work while keeping an eye on them at the same time. He had been unsuccessful so far and was debating with himself whether he could afford to take the afternoon off.
Emily was nibbling on a cookie, observing the moving shadow of her dangling legs. She let her gaze wander across the terrace curiously and pointed at a basket in the corner. "Those flowers are pretty! Uncle Alex, can I be a flower girl when you and Aunty Steves get married?"
Alex choked on his coffee and started coughing. "Who…who said we'd…get married anytime soon?"
"Mummy and Daddy" Emily replied cheerfully.
Great. That was so like Tess and Nick. "What exactly did they say?"
"Um, Daddy said he doesn't understand why you don't just get married and Mummy said 'they'll get there' and then Daddy was like 'better late than never'."
"And they think you should get married real soon" Charlotte added.
"No, they didn't say-"
Charlotte nudged her cousin under the table and threw her a meaningful glance, which shut Emily up – but only for a moment. "And they think that when you get married, you should have a carriage with lots and lots of white horses. And flowers, and pretty dresses."
Alex smirked, understanding what they were aiming at. "Do they now? That's interesting. Well, I hate to disappoint you, but there's no wedding plans on right now."
"But why not?" Charlotte asked. Both of the girls looked visibly disappointed.
"Because…" Alex hardly got into a situation where he was out of words, but this directness had caught him entirely off guard. He was just baffled. "Because it's not the right time."
Emily frowned doubtfully. "Why not?"
"It just isn't. But hey, I promise that when –if- when we get married, you can be a flower girl."
His niece clearly wasn't satisfied with that answer. "I still think you should get married now."
"And I think we should find something else to do than sitting around on the terrace all afternoon" Alex evaded her comment.
The girls got up, quickly grabbing a another biscuit each. "Where's Matt?"
Alex smiled, it was adorable how his four-year-old niece had taken to that seventeen-year-old kid, who was helping out on Killarney over the summer. "'round the other side of the house, fixing the tractor. You can go say hi, but don't bother him for too long, I want him to get his work done."
"I'm not bothering him!" Emily replied indignantly. "He's my boyfriend."
"Don't you think he might be a little old for you?" Alex asked with amusement.
A simple "no" was all he got for an answer before she ran off to find her "boyfriend". Alex shook his head – crazy kid. He noticed that Charlotte had wandered off into the direction of the paddocks in the meantime and headed after her. She could be so serious and quiet occasionally. At other times, she was a lively and talkative child. Alex wasn't sure what to make of it.
She had already arrived at one of the smaller fold yards, admiring a grey stallion, who was just recovering from a long transport. His owner was paying a nice lease to keep him here for the week.
"For someone who doesn't like to ride, you spend an awful lot of time staring at horses" Alex commented.
The girl shrugged, her sad eyes still fixed on the thoroughbred.
He sighed. "Look, Charlotte, I know it can be a scary thought to get up there again after you've fallen down - but the longer you wait, the harder it gets. So the question is, really, do you want to ride? Nobody will blame you if you don't, you don't have to, alright? It's just that if it keeps bugging you, if you really want to, then there's ways…to get up there and enjoy it again."
"But I suck at it."
"Bull- I mean nonsense. Just because you fall down doesn't mean you suck. If you're gonna ride, you're bound to fall down sometime. It happens. It's just that if you're expecting to fall down, if you can't stop thinking about it, the horse is gonna notice and get nervous, too."
"But I can't help it!"
"Yes, you can."
"No, I can't!" she shouted stubbornly.
Alex sighed. "Okay. Sorry, didn't mean to push you there."
The horse suddenly thrust up its head, trotting around the paddock nervously. "Hey, what's it now?" Alex wondered in a low voice, which was contradictory to his words. "Whoa, it's okay, settle down, boy. Come on…whoa…there. It's alright."
The stallion kept pacing along the fence nervously. "Maybe he can smell the other horses?" Charlotte suggested.
"Probably. But I think that's just him, he's been that way since he got here and I heard the transport wasn't easy, either."
They stayed by the fence for a while, just watching the horse, which was careful not to get too close to them, speculating about its behaviour. A light, refreshing breeze came up, but had soon passed.
"How?" Charlotte suddenly asked out of the blue.
"How what?"
"How can you, like…not be afraid?"
Alex smiled. "It's up to you. But I can show you ways that make it easier."
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"What about this one?" Jodi held a very low cut, slightly see-through black shirt in front of her torso.
Tess hesitated. She wanted to protect her little sister from being used; Jodi had experienced enough heartache, enough dysfunctional relationships already. "Depends on what you want to convey. It's your first date, after all."
"Too slutty?"
"I was going to call it 'generous', but…what else have you got?"
Jodi rummaged through the pile of clothes on her bed, throwing most of them aside. "I don't know! I definitely need to go shopping, but Gungellan is a rat's hole for that."
"Move." Tess smiled, some things would never change. She picked out a few tops, compared them to Jodi's light, beige trousers and laid most of them aside. "Hold on, what about this one?"
"That one?" Jodi took it from her, studying the flowing red material and the accentuated V-neck. "I haven't worn that one in a long time. Forgot I had it, actually."
"It would look great with the trousers and the belt. But don't wear the black boots –too severe- go for the sandals."
"Wow." She beamed at her sister. "Thanks!"
"You're welcome, anytime." Tess approached the door, eager to get back to work. She was far behind on her schedule already.
"But I still don't know what to do with my hair! Come on, you're my sister, you need to help me out here…"
"I'm sorry, Jodi, but I really don't have the time for this right now, maybe later. And I hate to mention it, but this month's payoff is still waiting for you…I think you're more up to date with the personnel cheques than I am right now."
"But Tess, you just said 'anytime' - hang on, you want me to continue with the clearing?"
"Why wouldn't I? It's been your domain for the past four years, I won't just take that away from you. I wouldn't want to mess it all up."
"Oh…okay. I'll do it later, then."
"Good." She turned around to leave, but stopped at the door. "Oh, and just leave your hair down. It looks very feminine that way and most men fall for that. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to a couple of sick sheep."
---------------------------------------------------
"Now just lean forward…along the neck like that and pat her up here."
"But what if she jumps and starts running?"
"She won't 'jump', much less start running, I got her."
Charlotte eyed the horse suspiciously. Alex could tell how tense she was from her posture and stern facial expression, and although he had told her to let her hands rest on her legs, he could see that she was actually clutching her thighs. "Uh, can't I just ride normally, without the whole lean back, lean forward, let your arms circle stuff?"
"No, because you're not relaxing. And before you can take the reins again, you need to be in control or what you're doing." He couldn't really imagine how someone could fall back that much on something as natural as riding, because it had never happened to him, but he had seen it before. Trying to understand was all he could do; he had to keep telling himself to be patient. But since she had been a pretty good rider before, he was confident that after crossing some sort of mental barrier, she would be fine.
Charlotte leaned forward hesitantly, patting the gentle mare's neck.
"Good, now scratch her between the ears."
"That's so far away…"
"Try."
"But don't let go of the reins!"
Alex sighed; the girl kept repeating that over and over again. It was like trying to teach a kid to ride a bike – or at least he thought that this was what it had to be like. She hadn't even wanted him to use the lunge, so he was actually still leading the horse. "Of course I won't, Char…promise."
He cursed himself mentally when he realized what he had said. His rights to promise anything at all had been gambled away a long time ago. He hoped that she hadn't actually paid attention to his phrasing, but the strange, doubtful look she gave him told him something else. Did it still stand there as this unacknowledged, big thing that they would remember at the slightest mentioning?
A short moment of awkwardness passed between them, until Charlotte smiled diffidently. "Okay."
Then, ever so slowly, she inched forward…