Disclaimer: Janet Evanovich owns all characters, though if I could, I'd own Morelli. Ranger too.
"Today I'm going to show you how to fit people for bras." Barbie was in her trademark neon pink and I was once again in a black skirt and shirt. "It's really very simple, and there is just a small equation you have to memorize."
She pulled out a fabric measuring tape and showed me the place to put it in order to take the measurement. Then she showed me the numbers on the back that told me how to determine cup size. It all seemed pretty simple and I tested it out on myself. Yeah. I really didn't like this knowing the actual size deal.
The morning had gone the same as the one before, well it was the same except Joe and I didn't fight. I was at work again, working on stacking all the bras when a little old woman who looked to be about 150 tapped me on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, I was hoping you could help me."
"Sure, what can I do for you?"
"I'd like to try this on." She held up a bright red bra, with lots of padding and lace.
"Alright, let me just get you a dressing room."
I took her to the back of the store and set her up in the first stall. I told her to let me know if she needed anything else and I placed myself at the entrance of the hallway like I was told. After a few minutes I stepped towards her room and cleared my throat.
"Is everything going okay in there?"
"Not really. I can't figure this damn thing out." She flung the curtain open and I felt my jaw hit the floor. She was topless and had managed to get the bra so twisted that one cup was on correctly and the other was around her shoulder. "You think you could help me with this."
"I, umm." I wasn't sure if this was in my job description, but no one was around to ask so I stepped in the room and closed the curtain.
The straps were around her arm and so twisted I couldn't just pull them off without pulling her shoulder out of it's socket. The clasp in the back had disappeared. I looked and looked but I couldn't figure out what she had done with it. Pulling and pushing I worked to get the bra off but nothing was helping. During all the moving the cup came off her breast and she was now fully exposed, and the sight wasn't pretty. Now that the bra was looser I was able to pull it easily from her and help put it on properly. Never in my life had I put a bra on someone else before and it wasn't something I wanted to do again.
"You know, I don't think I like this one. Thanks anyway." She dressed and exited the room, heading straight for the front of the store.
"Christ." I was sweating now and I walked back to the table where the bra belonged.
"I see you met old Aggie." One of the younger girls was standing there, wearing a headset and organizing the table.
"Does she come in a lot?"
"Every Monday. Never let her try anything on, she is blind as a bat and dyslexic. Makes for a hell of a problem."
"Too late."
"Ha! Well at least you've been properly initiated into the team then." She laughed as she walked away, heading behind the counter to check customers out.
When the clock struck five I bolted. Somehow I had made it through my second day, and this was a new personal record. To reward myself I hit up Macy's finding a black blazer on sale, and a new pair of heels that would be more bearable to stand in. Just as I was pulling up to Morelli's I saw Joyce standing at the front window, peaking inside. I parked and got out, cautiously making my way towards her.
"What are you doing?"
"Just looking for Joe. I thought he'd be home by now." She looked like a fire hydrant in her red outfit and I really wanted to let Bob loose on her.
"Nope, sorry. Big case. He usually isn't home 'til late."
"You don't say. I thought they caught the guy yesterday. Wonder what he was doing after?" She smiled and turned to go towards her car.
"Bitch."
"Whore."
"Slut."
"Ha. That's not what Joe calls me." She got behind the wheel, waved her fingers at me and left.
Smoke was rising off the top of my head; I could hear the steam whistling out my ears. I didn't for one minute believe anything Joyce said. I also didn't believe that. Slamming the door open I grabbed my phone. Punching the numbers in.
"Yeah?"
"Did you catch him?" I screamed into the phone.
"Jeeze, why are you screaming?" I could picture him pulling the phone away from his ear, so I calmed myself down.
"Did, you, catch, him?" My hands were shaking, my vision was blurring, and I was holding my breath.
"Yeah, we caught him. What's going on?"
"What's going on? Maybe I should ask you that!"
"Look, I don't have time for this right now, I'm buried in paperwork." He would be looking down at his shoes now, trying to keep his Italian temper from flaring up. "I'll see you when I get home."
"And when will that be."
"Later." And he hung up.
"Jerk!" He was already gone, but it made me feel better.
I was pacing now. Trying to figure out what to do. Heading upstairs I gathered up my clothes, toothbrush and all my various toiletries I had and carried them out to my car. I felt bad about leaving Bob alone for who knows how long so I put him in the car too and drove to my parents. This may have been a record for me. Not since I moved out had I eaten dinner at their house so many times in one week, and it was starting to worry me.
We had just sat down and my father was about to spear a pork chop when the door opened. Footsteps echoed in the hall and Joe emerged in the doorway.
"Sorry I'm late. I hope its not too much trouble me just showing up like this." He was from the burg, so he knew just what to say to get a burg mother to feed him.
"Of course not." My mother was up and adding another plate to the table. When he sat down I edged my chair away from him slightly, no one but him seemed to notice.
"Something wrong?" His mouth was on my ear, and it felt good, but I fought back the urges.
"Huhn."
"I take that as a yes."
"Take it as whatever you want, and get out."
"Stephanie!" My mother had dropped her fork when she heard me.
"Must be her time of the month." Grandma said as she piled mashed potatoes on her plate.
"It is not my time of the month!"
At that my father stopped, fork halfway to his mouth, mumbled something about hormones and women and kept eating. The rest of the dinner continued in silence. It was tradition not to talk much during dinner, after all the food was the reason we were there, but this was extra silent. After some coffee cake and a bag filled with leftovers was made I headed for the front door. Morelli loaded Bob into his SUV and walked over to my car, glancing in the back seat.
"Not staying the night I take it."
"Never again."
"Never is a pretty big word."
"When did you catch the serial killer?"
"What?"
"When did you catch him?"
"Yesterday. Why does it matter?" He was moving closer to me, trying to pull me into him, and I wouldn't let him.
"Why didn't you tell me that? And why did you still come home so late?"
"Cupcake, you were passed out when I got home, how could you possibly know what time it was?"
"That doesn't matter. What matters is Joyce Barnhardt was looking in your window when I get back from the mall today and she knew you'd caught the killer yesterday. Why does she know and I don't?"
"Because she is nosey. Is that what this is all about? Joyce?"
"Maybe." I was softening up. I knew all he had to do was kiss me and I'd cave and go home with him. He knew it too.
"I'm not into animals." Everyone knew Joyce was a freak. She was one of those people who liked to bark and experiment. Sometimes those experiments included animals. At least that was the word on the street, and usually the street was right.
"You have Bob."
"Bob is a companion, not a partner." He slid his hands up my shirt then, running his fingers along the line of my bra.
"Well I guess I could stop over for a little bit tonight."
"That's all I'm asking."
"That isn't even close to all that you're asking."
"True."
As always Morelli was up at the crack of dawn. For breakfast we had left over coffee cake and sex. I still wasn't sure which one I had enjoyed the most. He headed off to the station to finish off his paper work and I went home. The best thing about a hamster is that they don't need much attention. Still I felt bad about leaving Rex alone for days at a time and I decided that tonight I'd take him back to Morelli's with me.
This was my third day on the job, and I was ready to call Guinness and have it put on the record books. After today I would get a day off, which was good because I needed to check in at the bonds office and pick up any new skips that Connie had gotten in. Today was just like all the other days except I didn't have to deal with Aggie and I had a blazer on so I matched everyone else. Just as I was about to leave Barbie came up to me.
"So how do you like it?"
"It's great." So that was a lie, but it was better than the time I worked at Cluck in a Bucket.
"Did you see the new panties we just got in?"
"Yeah, I can't wait to get a few pair. Bob ate all my good ones."
"Oh." Her eyes grew to the size of tennis balls and she stepped back a little.
"Bob is my dog."
"Oh! Well you should get some then. A girl always needs new panties."
"That's true, but I only have about $21 to my name."
"Well that's perfect! They are five for twenty, which means new panties and money to spare."
"I really could use a new pair."
"Might as well get five then."
I left the store with my little pink bag and a smile on my face. There is just something about new underwear that makes everything seem okay. Of course now I was broke, and I wouldn't get a paycheck for at least another few days. That meant I'd have to pick up at least one skip. Even a low bond one would give me some spending cash. The way things were looking I'd have to move back home or in with Morelli, but I'd cross that bridge when rent day came.
My plan for the evening was to drive to my apartment, gather up Rex and some clothes and find a way to get dinner that didn't involve my parent's house. When I got to my lot it was full of cars and I had to park at the back by the dumpster. Most of the exterior of the dumpster was charred from all the various cars I'd exploded. That was my luck. Most of those cars I actually liked, but this car was going to turn out to be invincible, just like the Buick.
Mrs. Bestler was in the elevator when I got in. She was eighty something years old and lived above me. Most days she rode the elevator for something to do.
"Going up. Second floor ladies handbags and delicates. I see you've already made a trip to this floor." She smiled as I got off, naming off all the items one could find on the floor above.
My apartment was quiet when I walked inside. Rex was running on his wheel and the sound echoed off the walls. I put a carrot in his dish and gave him fresh water. When I walked into the living room I saw someone sitting on my couch. He was dark skinned with long dark hair and a solid frame. Ranger.
"Breaking into my apartment again?"
"Nothing was broken."
"True." Ranger was like smoke. He could go into a room and no know would ever know he had been there. Somewhere in his life he had acquired skills I couldn't even dream of. One of which was opening multiple locks without a key or breaking anything.
"Haven't seen you in awhile. Did you quit again?"
"No." I quit working for Vinnie once. That was when I tried a few odd jobs, which lasted all of ten minutes before I worked for Ranger. Ranger owns a building in downtown Trenton where he runs RangeMan, his security company. "I've just been a little busy lately. I was going to go in tomorrow and see if Connie had anything for me. Gotta pay the rent after all."
"You know if you need money I can always give you a job working for me."
"Sorry, I ruined my last RangeMan outfit last month." All of Ranger's employees and Ranger himself wore black. Black pants, black shoes, black socks, and though I didn't know about the rest, I knew Ranger even wore black underwear.
"Babe, this job wouldn't require clothes."
He left then and my legs were still shaking five minutes later. Once I'd calmed myself down I gathered up all my things, shoved them in a bag and put the bag on top of Rex's cage. We took the elevator because I had a feeling I'd topple down the stairs from the weight and the hormones. Mrs. Bestler was gone which was good because I wasn't sure I was up for hearing her say 'women's delicates' again. Halfway to Joe's I called him to see what time he would be home.
"I should be there in about an hour. Want me to pick up a pizza?"
"Sure."
"The Usual?"
"Sounds good. Oh and by the way, I bought new panties today."
"And do I get to see them on you?"
"Actually I wasn't planning on wearing any."
"Where have you been? You haven't been in since last Thursday. Do you think these FTAs are just gonna turn themselves in?" Vinnie was in a mood. He obviously hadn't had a nooner this week, and more than likely Lucille, Vinnie's wife, wanted some new furniture and what Lucille wants Lucille gets. That is one of the luxuries of having a father named Harry The Hammer.
"I've been busy. I do have a life you know."
"No actually, I didn't know." He went back into his office and slammed the door.
"What was all that about?" I asked Connie once I heard the locks click into place.
"We have a stack of seven skips and right now you're our only employee."
"What about Ranger?"
"He hasn't done a skip for Vinnie in three weeks. Though he may do one here soon if things don't work out like Vinnie wants."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I was sitting in one of the chairs in front of Connie's desk leaning in with excitement.
"Did you hear about the serial killer?"
"Of course. What about him?"
"Well Vinnie bonded him out."
"What? Why would he do that?"
"Because it was a good business investment. The bond is worth half a million."
"Whoa. How does a guy like that come up with that kind of money?"
"Don't ask me. But if he skips you can bet Ranger will come in and clean up. Just think of the money you'd make off that."
I was. When someone misses their court date the legal system holds onto the bond money. Then when they are caught and brought back in the bond is returned to the company and the enforcement officer who brought them in gets ten percent. And ten percent of half a million was enough to make my mouth water.
"Here are the skips we have now." She passed me a few folders and I looked through them. "Funny how after a while you start to have these people memorized. You would think they would learn."
Connie was right. Over half of these guys I'd already brought in at least once. And lucky for me most of them were easy captures. Two of the guys on the list were so old and forgetful all I had to do was say I was there to pick them up for their appointment and they would get in the car no questions asked. None of these bonds were very big, but if I brought them all in I could pay off my credit card and start spending again.
"Hey. Where's Lula?"
"When I said you were the only one Vinnie employs, I meant it. Lula left. She figured with her new wardrobe she could get a better paying job. Too bad no one told her that new clothes didn't come with new skills. I'm sure she'll be back before the end of the week."
Putting the folders in my bag I left the office and got into my car. Mike Nice and Marty Weiss were first on my list. They were the two that would go easy, and I figured since I had been off the job for almost a week I should ease back into it. I pulled up in front of the complex they both lived in. This was not only convenient but a time saver. I knocked on each of their doors, gave them some line about an appointment and loaded them into the car. The problem was it was a two-door car and since they were both older than dirt it was hard to get one of them in the back seat. After a few minutes of pushing and rearranging we were off to the cop shop.
It was business hours so I parked out front and walked them in the main entrance. Most likely both of them would be out in no time, and since they were just arrested for minor crimes, I wasn't bothered by this. What I was bothered by was the fact that there was once again a serial killer on the loose. I was sure there was some kind of misunderstanding and Connie was wrong, but I wanted to find out for sure.
Dropping off my skips I got my body receipt and then asked if Morelli was around. A few minutes later he came down the hall and we walked out the front door together. The sun was bright and there was a light wind so I pulled my arms across my chest to keep warm.
"When you do that, you make it hard for me to concentrate." His eyes were stuck on my chest and I realized I had given myself Connie amounts of cleavage.
"I heard that Vinnie bonded the serial killer out. Is that true? I didn't think that was even legal."
"We don't have enough evidence to ban a bond. If we did he would be sitting in a jail cell right now instead of his house."
"Are there limits to where he can go at least, I mean, is someone watching him."
"He has a house arrest ankle guard on and we have patrol cars watching him at night. That is always when he attacks, and since we can barely afford to run electricity in our building, that was all the man power we could spare." He leaned in and kissed my forehead before turning to leave. Halfway up the stairs he stopped. "Come to think of it, this is the first time you've been here in almost a week. Giving up bounty hunting or just having a slow week?"
"I took a few days off. My wardrobe needed it."
Driving back towards the office I called Lula, knowing I could use the help with the next few skips.
"Lula speaking, how may I help you?"
"Is this for real?"
"What you mean is this for real? That's how I answer the phone now, of course it's for real."
"Want to help me with a few skips?"
"I don't know, I got this here nice suit on and you don't wear a nice suit to pick up criminals."
"You could change."
"I just got dressed, and that would be a waste of an outfit."
"How about if you drive, then you wouldn't have to get out and ruin your clothes."
"Maybe I could do that. I am kinda hungry and I heard Cluck in a Bucket has a new breading for their wings."
"Okay. Meet me at the office in half an hour then."
My plan was to go back to the office, give Connie my receipts and get my checks, then cash them, and stuff my face full of chicken. The reality of it was I was rusty, and as much as Lula was a pain, and worse than me, I needed a sidekick. Actually what I really needed was some courage. So I would do what I always did, add a layer of mascara, fluff my hair out and have some chocolate cake. It may not be liquid courage, but it was the best I had.
A/N
Thanks as always to my wonderful mother for Beta-ing and planning lots of trips with me.
Thanks to everyone for reading, and even more to those who leave me nice reviews. Everyone should do that, cause if you do, I'll give you more Ranger. =] Lots and LOTS of Ranger.