AN: I'm doing a mass update of a good amount of my fics. Why? Because it's my birthday on Monday! Yay! *throws confetti* And since I'll be in school and there's no way I'll be able to update all of them on the same day, I decided that I'd make this week my birthday present to myself (and indirectly to you guys as well) by updating my four fics throughout the next few days. So, if you're reading my other fics, you're gonna be seeing this AN pretty much everywhere. LOL ;)

Thank-you's for the last chapter:

Guest: Thank you! Here it is so enjoy~ :DDD

Guest: I'm so happy you thought so. Kazuma is too mysterious for my taste, so trying to make him believable is much more difficult that Ayano. But I'm glad I did it right. Thanks for reviewing!

Guest: I hope this was soon enough. LOL Enjoy!

Guest: Thank you. I hope I don't disappoint. ;D

sai: It was a crap ending. LOL I guess that's what inspired this little lovefest. Hope you enjoy this chapter too.

Guest: Next time is now! =D

JGurl: Thank you! I've worked hard on perfecting it. Haha. Enjoy!

Sleeping Beauty: Thank you~ I'm glad I could bring more good fiction to this small but awesome fandom. :))))

Summary: Regret. Part three of the sequel to Bedtime. Everyone has secrets, even Ayano.

Warnings: Angst all the way. :)

Part Three: Regret

The meal she bought was just as Kazuma said it would be: small and unsatisfying for both her appetite and pallet. Pushing his words away, the Kannagi heir prepared for bed, a much-needed distraction for herself, as she slipped into a tank top and shorts, the heat still sticky even at night. As she climbed into bed, she called collect to her home in Japan, exchanging a few pleasantries with Ren, who was excited to hear she'd be back soon, before getting her father on the line.

They spoke in hushed tones, despite the privacy both of them always ensured before starting a conversation. But with a house full of servants and family members on his end and a master magician of wind on hers, there was no room for slip-ups. Her secret was going to stay just that, as her father let out an exasperated exhale, asking her again for the umpteenth time if she was sure about what she was doing.

On any other day at any given time, she would've snorted and replied with an 'of course I am' and been done with it. But today wasn't just any other one, she told herself, as she lied down against her pillows and stared up at the ceiling, cradling the phone to her ear. It wasn't like her to be indecisive, not about a choice she'd been toying with for years now, and when she left she'd been more than ready to accept it. But now, she hated herself for the second of hesitation and it was all because one man decided to drop back into her life as if he had every right to be there.

Giving her father a non-descript answer, Ayano mumbled an apology before hanging up, citing that she had an early flight. But even as she settled down and pulled the covers over her, sleep didn't come as she'd hoped. Instead, the pink-haired sorceress laid there in the dark, tossing and turning beneath the sheets while wondering how her trip to find herself turned out like this. Once again she was locked in an invisible stalemate with her heart, which was in as much pain as it was pleasure that Kazuma had resurfaced, even if just for a moment. Her mind called it out as the traitor that it was, as she huffed angrily and gripped the comforter beneath her fingers.

Sighing as the melancholy refused to seep out of her skin, Ayano leaned back against the headboard and stretched out her tired muscles. Although the clock read 11:43 PM and she knew she'd have to wake up at the crack of dawn, her body refused to listen, to relax like she so needed to. There was no doubt in her mind it was all because of a certain Contractor who couldn't leave her alone, not even to sleep.

Did all rejection sting as much as his? Ayano wouldn't know. There were few things she'd been denied in her short life, and whatever wasn't offered she'd taken with her own two hands. Maybe that was why Kazuma's dismissal hurt more than she thought it would. Because it was the first time in her life that she'd wanted something so bad, wanted it to all work out, and it was the first time where none of that mattered. All he wanted was peace and quiet and to break away from her delusions of him.

Well, he got what he wanted, Ayano thought bitterly, as she got out of bed and tossed on a cotton jacket. Deciding to leave her shoes off, she stepped onto the balcony of her small room, the black iron bars leaving shadows beneath the waxing moon. As she settled along the edge of the barrier, the pink-haired woman felt a chill run up her spine. The distinct feeling of being watched tickled her senses, as she tried to judge where it was coming from. She already knew who the culprit was.

"A little late for a stroll through the sky, isn't it, Kazuma?" Ayano didn't move to meet his stare, only focused on the small city a few stories below. There was no hustling and bustling of night life, nor was it a weekend when laborers could stay out drinking with their coworkers. It was a quaint and quiet little city, one she'd miss and doubtlessly remember. He made sure of that.

When the dark-haired man didn't make a move to speak, only settled into the opposite corner of her small terrace, Ayano let the silence wash over them. Because she knew he came to apologize for what happened today, for what he said and what he didn't. And she knew that she was going to have to be honest with him, bare her soul even after he'd mercilessly trampled on it only a few hours ago.

"I'm sorry." And Ayano knew she'd forgiven him for everything, for what happened earlier in the day and every moment before. Not because she loved him so desperately or even because they had once been good friends, but because she needed to move on and live the life she wanted, the one he could never offer her. One day, she would learn to be okay without him, knowing he could never want her or need her the way she wished he did.

"I love you," she replied, looking down at the sleepy city and musing that she'd have to visit in the future. This was where everything would come to an end, and perhaps it would hurt less enough for her to come back. Ayano wanted to believe she was capable of being that strong someday. A short moment of hesitation, but then he answered.

"I know."

There was no regret or sorrow or even pity in those two tiny syllables, just an acceptance that was long overdue. But that'd always been Kazuma's style, rolling with the punches and letting everything play itself out. His calculations were practically fortunes they were so accurate, but it didn't take away any of her own suffering. All it did was ease the weight in Ayano's chest, the one that felt like a shackle that had rusted long ago and was finally on the verge of splintering. Only it was ten years too late.

A giggle threatened to break past her lips, an incredulous, sad sound that'd been waiting to escape for an eternity. It was accompanied by the gathering of salt behind her eyes, settling there but never quite spilling over. She was glad for it. There would be enough time to calm herself in private but in front of its cause was something she refused to do. She had her pride, damn it all, and she wouldn't sacrifice it for a single moment of his obligatory comfort, no matter how tempting it was.

Once again, the quiet covered them, no sounds other than the shuffling of their feet against the cement of the floor and the humid wind whipping her hair gently. Ayano couldn't help but wonder if he'd take her other news like this, the secret she'd purposely held onto. It was her trump card, or that was how she saw it before. Now it just felt like a toxin, something that would only further sour the mood.

"I'm getting married."

She was tempted to look if he was surprised, chance a glance at that perfect face of his and see if the shock or hurt she wished for would be there. But Ayano was no masochist. If it was, then she'd be glad for all of five seconds before the gravity of her words hit home and she'd crumble to the floor, spirit irreparably broken. And if it wasn't, her heart would never truly heal knowing that he didn't care even a fraction of the amount she did. This time, ignorance was her best friend, she mused as her hands tightened on the metal she'd warmed with the palms of her hands.

His response was lackluster at best. "I see."

"That's it? 'I see'?" she barked out, unbelieving and more than in a little pain. Spinning to look at him with narrowed eyes, his face was carefully bathed in shadows, as if he planned to hide his reactions from the start. "Ten years together and you have nothing else? No 'good luck' or 'when's the wedding?' Hell, not even a 'who's the lucky guy?', you asshole?! Can't you say the right thing just once, Kazuma?"

Her fiery anger was met by his icy uncaring, as she watched the edges of his eyes turn down. The slight movement held lingering distaste, though for who or what she wasn't sure. "Why would I support something you don't even want? And don't you dare try and tell me otherwise, Ayano. Regardless of whether you like it or not, I know you and I know you're not getting married for the right reasons."

"Go to hell. You don't know anything about me." But he was right and she hated how they both knew it. Those pure brown eyes could read her like an open book, like they were made solely for knowing her. And it hurt even more that while they might be made for that purpose, they refused to see all the things she could give him if he'd let her.

Facing the city again, Ayano had to bite back a sob, one that'd been repressed along with whatever bitterness and elation Kazuma had left her with. Now, it was winning, climbing out of her in the form of silent cries and hiccups of her shoulders. Where Kazuma was concerned, she was surprised she had any tears left. Or maybe, her tears had always been for him from the beginning.

"Why are you doing this, Ayano?"

This time, she didn't even try to deny it. "It's what's best for the family."

"Bullshit," Kazma cursed, and in her mind's eye she could see him pushing off the building, leaning forward with a snarl on his face. The explanation was about as substantial as cotton candy on an empty stomach, though she smiled grimly that she'd made him lose his cool. There was some small amount of comfort in that, as petty as it was.

"Your father adores you, Ayano. He would never force you to do anything you didn't want to and an arranged marriage isn't something you want. The Kannagi Clan could survive another hundred years even if you did nothing to protect it, so what the hell makes you think that marrying some random guy will be better for anyone?"

"You're right, my father does adore me." Ayano openly circumvented his question, taking in a deep inhale and letting it clear her insides. "And my family doesn't exactly need money either." She smirked then, glancing back at him over her shoulder. "The small fortune we've paid you over the years should be more than enough evidence of that."

"Then why do it? Why get married to some stranger?"

Her answer made his blood boil, as Ayano shrugged uncaringly, as if the whole notion was a novelty and not one that would make or break the rest of her life. "Because I can. Because there weren't any other options that I saw worth pursuing."

"You could have any guy you wanted, Ayano. And not just ones with connections or money, but someone you actually care about. Most women in your position aren't blessed with that kind of choice and you throw it away for nothing."

"I'm not throwing it away."

"Then tell me, what're you thinking?" His voice was little more than a growl of frustration, teeth clenched and face twisted in anger that didn't match his easygoing temperament. "You're an Enjutsushii, Ayano. You're destined for great things in the future, but a loveless marriage wouldn't suit you. You'd never be content if you weren't completely in love with your husband, and it would kill you everyday knowing you'd never be as happy as your parents were."

Her well leashed rage tugged at its collar mercilessly, more than willing to tear at Kazuma's heartless words. He wanted a loving marriage for her? Ayano wanted to scream that he'd stolen any chance for that the moment he started making her care about him, filled her head with playful smirks and innocent seduction, of dreams that he'd never make true. And he had the balls to tell her that she was the one ruining her own life, by doing the one right, good and sensible thing? The one thing her father begged her not to do, pleaded that she reconsider it for her own wellbeing.

Because he knew how much of a romantic Ayano was, her head in the clouds and her heart on her sleeve. If she thought it over enough, she'd change her mind and look for love elsewhere, a place far away from her former bodyguard. And he was right, as she met Kazuma's self-righteous glare with one of her own. Just one word from the man before her had Ayano's resolve crumbling.

Her father would be glad to know it, if she ever told him. But she wouldn't. She refused to fall back into old, comforting patterns and second-guess her judgment. Her heart was always wrong when it came to Kazuma. Just this once, her head needed to win the war if she wanted to leave this tiny town in China unscathed. Well, as unscathed as one could be with a ripped-up, torn-out heart.

For once in her life, her head had all the right words and was hitting all the right notes. "I can't afford to put off marriage forever, and if I wait now then I'll never walk down the aisle." A soft, tortured upturn of her lips managed to silence any interruption Kazuma had, as she closed her eyes in resignation. "I'll never fall in love again, and we both know the reason for that."

"You're an idiot." But even though it was an insult, one meant to scald and degrade her foolish pride and feelings, it wasn't. There was nothing but desperation, a bark of chastising kindness that rung of soft-heartedness he'd tried to never show her. Kazuma thought she was destroying her chances for a real life. Ayano thought she was saving herself from pain, sparing him the responsibility.

In the end, he'd never asked her to love him. She just couldn't help herself.

With the white moonlight trickling onto them overhead, Ayano knew it was time to say goodbye, taking this as one last moment she could treasure and hoard deep in her heart. There would never be anyone for Kazuma again, and there would be no one for her after him. As she took her first tentative steps towards him, a part of her wondered if things were always meant to end like this.

There had never been a time when she'd walked away from him and hadn't come running back, chasing after the hand that was never offered to her. It was Ayano who always had to take it, lace his fingers and bind them together so he'd never get too far away. But this time would be different, she told herself, cupping the solemn face of her hero, her savior once upon a time.

Leaning up, her eyes fell close as she pressed the smallest kiss against his lips, the slightest pressure that spoke of long nights alone with old repressed pain. Of asking herself where he was, who he was with, what he was doing. Of longing that would never truly go away and a friendship she hated to part with more than anything in the world.

Because that was what Kazuma was beneath all the complex layers of their relationship, behind the mentor mask and his profile as a prolific lover of women. And it would always be the role she remembered him by, even when she held her husband's hand and cradled her firstborn. She was the person she was today because of him, and even with its tragic ending she'd never change the fact that she'd loved him wholeheartedly for anything in the world.

"Good night, Kazuma." You will always be the man I chose first, but you could never be my last.

Because, for him, loving Ayano had never been an option to start with.

AN: This was fun to write. Probably because I'm getting to the end and that makes me excited. Haha. If you guys enjoyed and want to know what happens next, drop me a line please~ My muse is currently suffering a drought and it sucks. I'm slowly getting through all my unfinished fics so help a girl out? Haha.

Next Chapter: Restart. Part Four of the sequel to Bedtime. After years of unrequited love, Ayano doesn't want romance or promises of forever, not like most women. All she wants is comfortable companionship, but one person doesn't care about what she wants but what she needs.

Thanks for reading, guys! Until next time~