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anon: Umm... I think not. Otherwise she would have probably never been allowed to go to school again.

Chapter 6

I really wished the next morning would never come, but there I was; awake at six, swearing under my breath with my eyes tightly closed.

However the world, sadly, doesn't implode or whatever and I force myself to get up. No harm in spending more time on my appearance so that I actually look decent. Might be beneficial. So by seven, I'm dressed in a nice blue blouse (and some jeans so as to not make it look like I spent as much time as I did. I mean, forty minutes getting ready is a bit excessive for me), and my make-up isn't haphazard, but actually quite nice. I even force my hair into submission, so the usually half-straight-half-curly mop is actually in the right place. I finish it off with some topaz-coloured earrings which, I have been told, 'bring out my eyes'. What a load of rubbish.

And because of that little inward-comment, I'm laughing as I open the door, but stop immediately when I see dad standing there, with a very amused look on his face. "Have you been doing drugs or something in there? You're not usually this chipper on a Monday morning."

"Chipper? Isn't that like a squirrel's name?"

"Chipmunk's, actually."

"Oh. Obviously."

"Yes obviously. Now get out, Jez. I need to get ready for work." He ruffles my hair as I pass.

"Oh, for goodness sake, dad! I just spent about half-an-hour getting it neat!"

"Since when do you care about your hair?" he muttered as I shoot to a mirror.

Didn't take too long to fix, thank goodness, although I did glare at myself in the mirror for a minute. "You're pathetic," I say to myself, and I roll my eyes.

My knees are shaking as I walk into the school gates, and I can't help scanning for Blackthorn on the way to my form room. I'm half relieved and half disappointed when I don't see him and collapse gratefully onto my chair, forcing myself to breathe slower.

"Hey."

I yelp (which is incredibly embarrassing) and turn to the direction of the voice. Matt. Oh. I have to squash down what seems like disheartenment when it isn't him. "Oh. It's you."

He winks at me, which makes me grimace. "What were you thinking about so intently?" a slow smile spreads across his annoying (albeit rather handsome) face. "Oh. I get it. Well, you might want to get your mind out of the gutter and back to the present."

My mouth falls open. Seriously? What is it with boys in this damn town? He winks again, and chucks me under the chin. And it is not entirely my fault what happens next. It's instinct, really. My fist just acts of its own accord and slams him in the face. See? Not my fault.

Bloody awesome, though.

Obviously, I get about a billion detentions (okay, after school Tuesday and every lunch time this week). I don't even protest, just replay that moment in my head. Hopefully the memory of the pain would mean he would leave me alone.

And in the excitement, I forget that I'm about to have English and that I may-have-accidentally-sort-of kissed the teacher. Or he kissed me. I forget.

I'm not the first in the class, but Blackthorn isn't here yet. I find myself thanking whichever deity that would listen to a deranged sociopath like me that he doesn't have to walk past my desk (slightly childish, I must admit), but my heart almost stops when he walks in through the door.

He doesn't acknowledge me in any way, but talks to the others instead, which I'm kind of hurt about. What, did he think I wouldn't be able to control myself if he talks to me? Granted, I don't trust myself, but his lack of trust is kind of insulting.

And I soon learn that he is just completely ignoring me. Normally if I put my hand up to answer a question, he chooses me immediately (it happens so rarely, see) but now his eyes just travel from Amarys, who is on my left, to Julia, who is on my right, as if the seat I am sitting in is unoccupied. No, nonexistent. Even Julia notices, and she's not exactly the type to notice things (akin to all of the girls in this class), and she whispers to me, "Did you insult his family or something? He hasn't acknowledged you once!"

I shrug and glare at the back of his head. This, rather discouragingly, makes Julia laugh.

And so, in a last attempt to talk to him, I make sure I spend a long time putting my things away. When everyone is gone, I start with, "Sir, I–"

But he runs out of the door as if I'm the plague or something. And I have to admit, my stomach squeezes and I suddenly feel tears welling up. Oh, so I'm that bad of a kisser, huh? I feel like retorting to the door. But that would be crazy, so I don't.

Obviously.

I spend the rest of the day half in-and-out of daydreaming what it would have been like if we hadn't been interrupted. Damn Val and his normal, non-mathematic mind. It wasn't that difficult to work out! And I'm not looking forwards to tonight, either. Drama piled upon drama, and now I had to deal with Hugh.

So it is with a deep sense of trepidation that I unlock the door that night, and instead of running upstairs like I usually do, I drag my feet. Mum notices this and comes to ask me what's wrong.

"Hugh," I mumble, and I ignore her sympathetic look. For the first time in years, I don't want to go to band practice.

The ride is cold and damp, a normal English winter bike-ride, and I am in a thoroughly pissed-off mood when I get to Val's.

I suppose it doesn't help that when I open the door, Raven and Val are in the middle of a gigantic argument.

I stay in the doorway for a minute, debating whether to wait outside or just go right in when Raven comes, almost flying out of the room, tears streaming down her face. "Raven?" I say in shock (I sound quite stupid too). She wipes her eyes quickly. "What's wrong?"

She bites her lip. "I think... Val and I may have broken up," she says quietly before walking out of the door.

I shoot out after her. "What? But... if you two break up, what hope have the rest of us got? You're perfect together!" I reach where she's standing and put my hand on her shoulder.

"I just feel like... I'm not important to him. He always puts the band first, and I suppose I understand that. It's great that you guys are getting so popular, but I always feel like I'm second. And I'm sick of that." She turns bright eyes on me. "And don't be silly. You and Hugh are perfect together."

"You... what?"

She smiles. "Hugh told us that the date yesterday went really well."

I splutter something incomprehensible. Along the lines of, "ha... mmph... wha?" before taking a deep breath and saying, "but it didn't! He tried to kiss me; I stepped away because I don't think of him like that!"

"What? But you two are right together, and you've known each other for so long–"

"There's someone else," I say quickly.

"Really? Who? But... oh, poor Hugh."

"I can't say who just yet. Maybe some day, but not now. Anyway, do you want me to talk to Val for you?"

"No. I'll talk to him at some point." She hugs me and walks away to get to her car. "I hope it works out for you, though," she calls over her shoulder.

"Me too," I say to myself once she's driven off.

It strangely isn't too bad. Like me, Hugh has a bad case of stick-head-in-sand-itis, and it actually works for the better. We don't mention the date, and we're back to normal, just joking about and having fun. We sort out most of the songs for the set on Saturday, and even have time to rehearse a couple before I have to get home. And again, I'd forgotten the Blackthorn mess, but as soon as I get home and check what homework I haven't done, I remember. And so I have to get through lessons where the teacher won't even look at me.

And he doesn't. The rest of the week, even the detention I have on Tuesday, he doesn't look at me, and I'm too timid (yes, me timid. Hell really has frozen over) to bring it up myself. And I don't have the confidence to talk normally to him. We now spend our lessons completely ignoring the fact that the other exists. And, thank goodness, rehearsals are completely normal. Well, until Thursday.

It's the last rehearsal before the sound-check catastrophe has to start, and Hugh asks whether he can talk to me alone. I comply, and that is why, at this moment, we are walking around Val's large and surprisingly well-kept garden.

"Listen, Jez, I wanted to apologise to you about last Sunday." I clench my jaw and look away. "I really need to. It wasn't right, and of course I should never have done it." And his grey eyes are so upset that I have to smile reassuringly and touch his arm.

"Don't worry about it. I forgive easily when it's someone I care about." He grins and holds out his arms. I automatically step into them and hug him, feeling all the annoyance and anger melt away. He really is a good guy.

"But..." he steps back slightly to look at me. "I really think we have a chance of making this into something amazing."

I'm a little bit awestruck as I watch him. He's definitely beautiful, that much is obvious. He's an amazing friend, and one of the kindest people you will ever meet. It wasn't as if Blackthorn would ever warm up to me now.

"So... please, Jez. Can we just try it out? I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I didn't exhaust all the options. I really want to go out with you."

In every way, he was right for me. Even Raven had said so. I bite my lip and watch him. Could I care about him? Even grow to love him?

And as I watch his eyes, so full of open honesty, I know I could.

So I kiss him. And it's pretty darn amazing.