Disclaimer: Janet Evanovich owns all characters, though if I could, I'd own Morelli. Ranger too.

Time was a blur. I had no idea what hour it was, and I couldn't figure out the day of the week either. All I knew was that I had written five letters. Each one was harder than the one before, and demanded more. My brain had shut down, and my body was about to do the same.

Tim tired of my yelling and my constant crying, so once I was finished with my tasks he would use the chemical on the rag to knock me out. I'd wake up and start yelling again, he would feed me, then it would be back to the dark. Pretty easy to get confused when you spend all your time in a chemical induced sleep.

After he'd spilt my blood in the second letter he liked the way the power felt. The next time he cut off a chunk of hair, a piece of my dress, then it was a chuck of skin. My hand throbbed where he'd cut me, my face still felt slightly swollen, and my head felt like it was going to explode.

When I finally pulled myself out of sleep I realized something. My dress was gone. I was lying on the cold cement floor with my hands under my head, and I was naked. I panicked. I didn't cry, mostly because my tear ducts were so dried out they wouldn't work properly for at least another week. Instead I took in short jagged breaths, and pulled myself into the corner, tucking my knees to my chest.

"Morning." Tim was in the room, watching me in the dark. My eyes hadn't had time to adjust but I could feel him there, and it made my skin crawl. "Letter time."

He flipped the light on now and threw a blanket to me. It was thick and scratchy, but I pulled it tightly around myself. My supplies were laid out in front of me and I gathered them up. Marking the corner with a six.

"Today's the big day." A smirk formed on his face now and he rubbed his neck. The day before I'd tried to attack him. When he got close enough to me I grabbed the chain and pulled it around his neck, trying my best to choke him. Unfortunately my best wasn't nearly enough. "You really shouldn't have attacked me. I would have let you live at least a little while longer, but you had to go and screw it up. Such a shame too."

He ran his fingers through my hair, tucking it behind my ears. Kneeling down he kissed my head, then my cheek, then my lips. I was frozen, unable to do anything except breathe. His hand slipped under the blanket and passed across the skin of my stomach and I pulled away. Scooting back across the room to my corner.

"I hope you're ready to write your goodbye letter, cause today is the day. So you better make it good, 'cause it's all you get."

Leaving the room he kept the door open and I slid back towards the stack of paper. I wasn't ready to die. I was more than ready to write the letter, mostly because I'd spent the last few days planning out exactly what I would say, but still, I didn't think I'd ever have to write the words. My mind was made up that Joe and Ranger would save me, that they would come back for me.

"Oh, by the way, before you write the letter I should probably tell you a little story." He sat down across from me then, staring in my eyes. "Just before I got caught I started this game. I bet you didn't know that did you?" I shook my head no, I had no idea what he was talking about. "I made up this plan to ruin Cop boys life, and I had to start out simple. One day I was at a bar and I ran into this crazy lady who would pretty much do anything for a spanking and a beer. So I told her what I wanted, and she came up with a plan. It was easy for her since she knew him, and honestly it couldn't have worked out any better if I'd done it myself."

"You mean?"

"Yep. Joyce was my puppet. She just loves ruining your life, and since you were his whole life it was simple. The night you got drunk she went inside, dropped a little pill in his beer and when he passed out she planted all the evidence. Like I said, worked like a charm."

I was going to be sick. There was no doubt in my mind that what he was saying was true. Part of me had always believed Joe, and even when I was mad at him I still loved him. When Tim left I started my letter. Funny how the news he gave me should have changed everything, but it didn't. I still wrote exactly what I would have if I'd died thinking Joe was scum.

Dear Ranger,

I need you to know that I love you, and that no matter what this isn't Hal's fault, or yours. You can't always save me, that's not how life works. Deep down I know that you and I never would have ended up together, that's not how our paths were meant to go, but that doesn't mean I haven't enjoyed every minute of our time together. I will never regret any of it. I will never regret you.

Dear Joe,

First off please tell my family I love them. And tell Connie and Lula. Kiss Bob for me, and please take care of Rex, remember he likes pizza crust the best. Before I start I need to tell you that I know the truth and I know that nothing happened with Joyce. I know that deep down part of me always believed you, but I was too scared to trust you.

I need you to move on with life. I need you to be happy, and have a family because that is what you were meant to do. I realize that it was what I was meant to do too, and I was meant to do it with you. If I could go back and change things I would, I'd do anything if it meant a chance to spend my life with you. I'd give anything for just one more day with you. I love you, I always have.

To you both,

This is my last letter. I need you both to know that I'm sorry, and that I never meant to hurt either of you. You're all I ever cared about and I'll miss you both. Please forgive me.

Goodbye.

Steph

The tears that wouldn't come burned my eyes, and I fought to steady my hand. As I read over the words I wanted to crumble the paper, to rip it up and start over. It wasn't good enough, I owed them both more than that. Just as I was getting ready to start a new letter Tim flew in the room, picked up the paper and walked out the door.

"No! Wait! Please!" I needed more time, I needed to write more, to tell them more, explain to them more. But he was gone, and that was all I'd get. I wasn't sure what would happen then. If he would come right back and kill me, or wait until they received the letter. Part of me hoped for one, part for the other.

I was a complete and total mess. There was no mirror but I was sure I looked horrible. My hair was probably a rat's nest, my face had to be bruised and swollen. Not only was I naked, but I hadn't showered in almost a week, and between the vomiting and the sweating I smelled like death. Inside I was even worse off. My stomach felt like it had been separated from my body, and I was pretty sure I had an ulcer. The constant fear had me shaking so much that my spine felt off, not to mention the pain of sleeping on a concert slab floor. I was beaten and broken in every way possible, and the fact that I wasn't wearing anything had me worried I'd had more done to me than I realized.

The room was dark and I was huddled in the corner, eyes fixed on the door. I was trying so hard to make peace with reality, but I was too scared. I couldn't stop thinking about Ranger, my family, Joe, Rex, Bob. Their faces were swimming in my vision, keeping me from losing my mind. There seemed to be a lot of noise going on around me. I'd never heard sounds from the rooms outside of mine. Actually I didn't even know if there were any. For all I knew I was in a shed out in the middle of nowhere.

Everything got really quite, abnormally quite. Normally I could hear the hum of some kind of machine, maybe an air conditioner or humidifier, and the sound of water rushing through pipes, but now there was nothing. It was like whatever was around me had suddenly died, maybe it was some kind of foreshadowing for my life. The door flew open and a figure appeared, standing stock still holding a gun. That was the moment when my life flashed before my eyes, but all I really saw was Joe.

"Please! Please don't! I don't wanna die!" I was screaming, begging, pleading, trying anything to keep my heart beating just a few more minutes.

He dropped the gun and reached over to flip the light on. My heart practically flew out of my chest and my breath caught in my throat. Our eyes locked then, and I thought at any minute I might pass out. Crossing the room he stopped in front of me, dropping to his knees. My whole body was shaking, and I tried to reach out but I couldn't move. He pushed my hair behind my ears and I leaped forward, wrapping my arms around him, pulling him in as close as I could.

"Joe." The word had trouble finding it's way out of my throat because of all the emotion that was packed into it.

We were holding each other as tight as we could. He kissed every inch of my face, and I saw a single tear slid down his cheek. I reached up to brush it away and he grabbed my hand, looking it over as he held it in his. The chunk of skin that was missing was small, but the wound was infected, it smelled horrible, and felt worst. His face was easy to read then, it held no trace of anything but anger. What he wanted to do was go find Tim Stringer, and rip him limb from limb, and he would, if I didn't stop him.

"Please don't leave me." It was probably a selfish thing to do, but it would ensure that Joe wouldn't kill anyone. Him going to jail, even if just for a short period of time wasn't exactly how I wanted things to go.

"I'm so sorry."

"This isn't your fault." I placed my forehead against his. He kissed me then, softly, as though he were afraid that I would break if he used too much pressure. "Can we go home now?"

"Of course we can."

He yelled for backup then and Eddie Gazarra arrived with a few uniforms I didn't know. They brought down a power tool to cut the chain free, but couldn't find anything to get the shackle off my leg. Joe carried me out of the room and down a hall that lead to a living room where he set me on the couch and asked for some clothes. After he helped me pull on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt I was brought a coffee and some crackers.

There were people all around, some taking photos, others standing around talking and writing in notepads. Soon I'd have to go in and give a statement, recounting all the things I could remember, but not today. Today I was free and I could close my eyes and pretended nothing happened. Even better I could shower and brush my teeth and sleep in a real bed. All those things I'd taken for granted I could try to enjoy. But most important I could go home.

Joe was still sitting beside me, holding my hand tightly while a medical crew rolled inside and started looking me over. They asked me a bunch of medical history questions, filled out some paperwork and then started bandaging up my hand and face. One of the EMTs was a young woman and she leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"I need to know if you were raped at any point while you were captive."

"I," I was biting at the skin of my lip and I could feel Joe tense at my side. "I'm not sure. He'd knock me out with some kind of drug he put on a rag and today when I woke up I umm, I didn't have anything on."

"We'll have to give you a test then. It won't take very long, and we need to do it as close to time of assault as possible. We can use one of the spare rooms here to do it."

Morelli nodded at me, and as much as I didn't want to, I got up and walked away with her, turning back to look at him every step. He never moved, and never took his eyes off me. We went in a spare room that had nothing in it but a mattress pushed up against the wall. First she took a bunch of pictures, and since my clothes were missing she said she could skip a couple steps. I had the dirt scraped from my nails, but I wasn't sure what that would prove, I was passed out, so I wouldn't have fought back.

I had to lie on a piece of white paper that she put down on the mattress as she took samples, upon samples, upon samples. Finally she was finished and she sealed everything in a box and wrote my name and the date on it. According to her writing it was two in the morning, and it was officially Monday. She led me out of the room then and back to the couch were Joe was waiting for me.

Wrapping his arm around me he lead me outside. Looking around I realized where I was. This was Tim Stringer's house. All this time I had been so close to home, so close to everyone. I knew that this information had to be hard for everyone to accept because that meant the whole time I was right under their noses.

Ranger was standing on the curb leaning against his Porsche Turbo. He had stubble on his face and his shirt was untucked, his hair hanging loose. I'd never seen him look so unkempt before, and the sight was hard to stomach.

"Give me a minute?" I asked Joe as I kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll be waiting right here."

Ranger took a few steps toward me and hugged me, not squeezing too hard. Just like Joe he seemed to think I would break, maybe I would. We didn't talk for the first minute, instead we just stared at each other, refusing to even blink.

"You look like hell." I finally said, tucking his hair behind his ear.

"You don't look so good yourself."

"How did you find me?"

"It wasn't easy. When the signal in your purse and in the car went in the river we thought you'd gone along with it. Then two days later this letter shows up. At first we weren't even sure if it was really from you, but the lab ran some tests and confirmed it had your DNA all over it. The letters kept coming in but we had nothing. It wasn't until yesterday that we sat down and looked at them again. Pretty smart move to spell his name out with the sentences."

"Obviously it wasn't that smart if I couldn't help you figure it out sooner."

"Babe." He didn't want me to beat myself up, but I couldn't help it. It was just too easy.

"Did you get my last letter?" This was the part I was dreading. I didn't want to have to speak the words out loud, but at the same time I wasn't sure I was ready to let him go.

"We intercepted it at the post office before it got mailed out."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

He kissed me then. It was deep and soft, and pumped full of passion. My body was already weak, but it knocked me down even more. His hold tightened on me as he held me to him, and then it was over.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. This is your choice. Doesn't mean I don't still love you."

"I love you too."

"I'll see you around."

"Goodbye."

"Babe,"

He got in his car and left. Before I had a chance to cry, to even let it sink in that he was gone Morelli had me in his arms. The look on his face wasn't a happy one. It would be my luck that I would make my choice only to find out that in saying goodbye to one I ruined my chance with the other. I had to say something, and the words started rolling out of my mouth before I realized I'd spoken them

"I'm so sorry, you have to forgive me, I never meant-"

"Shh." He placed his finger against my lips, and kissed me on the cheek. "Let's just go home."

"Okay."

We got in his SUV and took the short drive to his house. Bob was waiting at the front door and when he saw me his tail started to move at warp speed. He didn't jump on me, or shove his head in my crotch when we got inside. Instead he rested his head on my lap when I sat on the couch. Somehow Bob knew what was going on.

"Did you really mean what you wrote in that last letter?" Morelli had gone into the kitchen and come back with two beers and an entire birthday cake that read Happy Birthday Russell.

"Yes." I didn't have to think about it, there was no doubt in my mind that I meant every word. "I love you." I'd made it through without even the slightest stutter. That had to mean it was true.

"You really wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"

"Yes. At least when I thought I was going to die I wanted too, but maybe that was just because the other option was to spend the rest of my life in the dirt."

"Funny. Glad to see you didn't lose that sense of humor."

"Look, I'm only going to say this once because you know how I feel about talking about marriage, and marriage in general. You were all I could think about while I was there. It was the thought of you that kept me going. I'm not saying I want to get married today, or even this week, but I know that I want to. I chose you, even before I found out that the whole Joyce thing was a scam. None of that mattered because I realized that I love you, and love means forgiving and forgetting."

"See, I told you I'd never have anything to do with Joyce."

We went upstairs after that and crawled under the covers. There was no talk of sex, and no attempts made. That wasn't what tonight was about. We'd have the rest of our lives to fulfill our urges. Tonight was just about being together, and being close. Tonight was the first night of the rest of our lives.

I slept soundly, not waking when he woke up, or when he climbed in the shower. It wasn't until I smelled the coffee that I finally stirred. My whole body was sore and stiff, some of me was swollen, some was painful, but all of me was alive. Heading downstairs I kissed the top of Bob's head when he came up to me and jumped on me, licking my face.

"I missed you too."

Joe was in the kitchen, clean and shaven. He poured a cup of coffee for me and set it on the table next to his. Also he had an empty bottle of pepto next to him, and a half eaten roll of Tums. When I sat down he kissed the top of my head, my forehead, each eyelid, my nose, pretty much my whole face.

"Did you sleep okay?" His eyes were full of concern.

"Perfectly. You?"

"Not a wink. Every time I closed my eyes I worried you'd vanish. I kept thinking that finding you was just a dream, and that if I went to sleep I'd wake up and you'd still be missing."

"Well sorry to burst your bubble but I'm really here, and now you're stuck with me. Just try and get me to leave."

He laughed slightly at that, but it was forced. "We have to go downtown today so you can talk to the detective who's in charge of the case. You know the drill, give your statement and all that."

"Who's in charge?"

"Me."

"Aren't you supposed to avoid cases where you have personal connection?"

"Yeah, but no one was about to try and take it from me."

"I can't imagine what the must have been like."

"Not nearly as bad as what you went through I'm sure." He leaned back in his chair then, running his hands through his hair. "God, at first we thought you were dead. Then when we got that letter I thought you were going to be killed, and it was all my fault. If I'd run after you, if I'd gotten downstairs just a second sooner I could have stopped all this. And worst of all, I thought you hated me."

"I can never say I'm sorry enough for that."

"You don't need to apologize to me, I almost got you killed."

"That's not true. I shouldn't have overreacted about the whole Joyce thing. If I just talked to you, listened to you," I could feel the emotions coming back to me, and I was going to cry. "Look, I don't want you to blame yourself, okay? I can't live with that. So let's just not talk about it right now."

"Okay. Are you ready to go?"

"Let me just go change."

Traipsing back up the stairs I hoped this would all be over with quickly. I knew that I'd have to tell my story, but I hoped it would be to an officer I only knew in passing. More than anything I was dreading having to explain everything to Morelli. This would not only make him feel even worse, it would crush him.

We toke his SUV downtown, which looked perfectly fine. I'd have to remember to tell Grandma Mazur that luckily she was wrong about the bologna thing. I realized then that I hadn't seen my family, or even spoken to them since I came home. In all the drama my mind was solely focused on Joe.

"Can we stop at my parents' house?"

"Of course."

He pulled a u-turn then and doubled back to the Burg. When we pulled up my mother and grandma were both at the door, and instead of waiting for me they burst through the screen door. They both smothered me with hugs and kisses, checking over every inch of visible skin. My mother had her hands on my cheeks, tears streaming out of her eyes. She turned to Joe then, holding onto my hand tightly as she turned to him.

"Joseph." Her voice was strong, and I cringed back slightly from the sound of it. "Thank you for saving her."

"I'd say I was just doing my job, but it was more than that."

"And I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I should have known this whole Joyce fiasco was a scam."

Grandma Mazur stepped up to him then, scrunching up her face, looking him over intently. "I guess I'm sorry too."

"Don't mention it."

She looked over his car, studying it over. "No paint missing huh?"

"Not a scratch." He winked at her and we left after promising to come back for dinner.

We were almost to the cop shop and I could feel the sweat forming on my neck. "I can't do this."

"Everything's gonna be fine. I'll be right there with you."

"That's why I can't do this. Look, I know you're going to hear all about it and read the report, but I just can't talk about this in front of you. It's hard enough to look in your eyes right now with you blaming yourself. Sitting there and telling you what I went through isn't something I ever want you to have to deal with."

He reached over and took my hand then, lacing his fingers in mine. "I'll see if I can get one of the other guys to sit with you while I go finish up all the paperwork."

"Thanks."

"You know I'd do just about anything for you."

"Just about?" My eyebrows rose slightly, and I felt a smile form on my face.

"Yeah. I'll tell you all about the things I won't do once I get you home and naked."

"Can't wait."

"Me either."

A/N So I know it has been over a year since I updated this, but with only this chapter and the EPI left, I felt like I owed it to you all to see it through to the end.

That being said, I'm not sure how many of you will even bother to read this chapter, or even remember my little story.

I'm a horrible updater, forgive me.

And to all those on Ranger's side. Forgive me.

To my Beta and mother, forgive me for not getting this up in a more timely manor, but you of all people know how much of a procrastinator I am.

Reviews are always accepted, though I'm not sure I really deserve them after all this time.