One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand [viva la Vida, Coldplay]
Shelby's POV:
"Thanks Quinn I'll let her know you called when she wakes up. Alright bye." I hear Will say as I walk into the living room.
"What did Quinn say?" I ask as I take a seat next to him on the sofa.
"She was telling me that she believes that Andrea was the one who slushied and locked Rachel in the closet."
"Oh when we get back to school she's going to wish she never even looked at Rachel."
"And I'll be right there with you, but for now lets worry about Rachel."
I sigh before responding "she called me Mama while I was trying to get her out."
"She did?!" He says with a mixture of shock and excitement.
"yea but she sounded so scared and vulnerable and what she said after worries me a little too."
"What did she say?"
"she said 'Mama please! I'll be good I promise.' Why would she say something like that Will?"
"I don't know why she would say that but something tells me that the man no the monster that took her away from us had something to do with it."
"I think she needs to talk to a therapist how does someone just not remember eight years of their life? And not to mention she must be so confused and scared right now."
"I was thinking the same thing. I'll call Emma later and set something up with her." We sat there for a while just relaxing both of our minds on our daughter who was asleep upstairs. We were broken out of our trance when we heard the house phone ring. Will got up to answer it.
"What?! How could that happen? How the hell did he even… yea well thanks for letting us know. Bye" I hear will shout at whoever was on the other line.
When he walks back he looks nervous and worried.
"Will? What's going on? Who was on the phone?" I ask as I walk over to him.
"that was the police department in California, Peter Bishop the guy who took Rachel, he escaped the confinement cell they had him in and they believe that he's already past the California border and on his way here to get Rachel."
"What?! How the hell could they let him escape? He's not getting within a thousand feet of Rachel. What are we going to do? You think we should tell her?"
"Shelby trust me we're going to do everything we can to make sure Rachel's safe. No I don't think we should tell her she's barely starting to warm up and trust us as it is. If she finds out that man she called father for the past eight years is coming together we might lose her completely. We'll just have to constantly keep an eye on her let Noah, Santana and everyone else know so they can keep an eye out. Why don't you make some dinner for Rach she'll probably be hungry when she wakes up. And I'll call everyone let them know what's going on ok?"
"Yea alright." I respond starting to walk to the kitchen.
"Hey look at me…" he says while spinning me around to face him "I promise you that we are never going to have put our daughters picture on a missing persons poster again alright?"
"How can you be so sure?"
"Have I ever broken a promise before?"
I smile at him before leaning in to kiss him softly "No never." I tell him as I pull away.
Rachel's Pov:
"Dad?"
"Yea sweetie it's me I'm sorry I haven't called."
"Why haven't you called? Where are you? And what's going on?"
"I'm sorry but I've been really busy working on getting you back."
"You-you are coming for me?"
"Yes sweetheart did you really think I had just forgotten about you, I'm doing all I can to get you back."
"but why?" I question quietly out loud to myself not intending for my father to hear me but of course he does; parents always seem to hear everything you don't want them to.
"Why what?" he asks
I sigh "Why did all of this happen in the first place? Why do Will and Mo-Shelby think that I'm their daughter? I've seen some pictures I sure as hell look like their daughter! And why don't I remember anything before the age of 8 I don't remember you, mom or that stupid car accident! But I am starting to remember stuff and none of the memories include you they include everyone I've met over here! Tell me what the hell is going on dad I don't even know if I should be calling you dad anymore! Tell me why I feel so at home and safe here after just two weeks! Please daddy I just want the truth, I'm so confused."
"Jennifer you have nothing to be confused about I'm your father and the only family you have alright? You're my daughter and no one else's! Remember that ok? Now I have to go but we'll be together again soon."
"But dad I still have so many questions!"
"I promise to answer all of them when I get you back."
"And when's that going to be?"
"I should be there Monday. Now I have to go ok I love you"
"yea love..." I start to say but he's already ended the call.
I thought talking to my father would've helped me see things more clearly but instead I'm left exactly where I started scared, confused and frustrated. It seems as if I'm going to have figure everything out for myself since I can't really seem to trust everyone here, and I only have till Monday to do so. Hmm I wonder if I can talk Quinn in to helping me with this little research project.
'Knock Knock'
I turn to see who was knocking on my door and see Will walking in.
"Hey how are you feeling?" he asks
"Ok I guess"
"Was that you we heard talking a little while ago?" he asks
"Oh yea I was just talking to my f-" I paused for second debating weather I should tell him I was talking to my father but I decided that would probably do more damage than good "friend Tina from California."
"That's nice that you guys are keeping in touch. Well anyways we and when I say we I mean your Mom made you a vegan lasagna if your hungry and if your not we'd still like you to come down stairs we wanted to talk to you about something."
"Ok I'll be down in a few minutes I am actually a little hungry." I respond while starting to get out of bed. He nods and walks out of the room. Ten minutes later I'm sitting at the dining room table with a plate of food in front of me and Will and Shelby (or do I call her mom I mean isn't that what I called her when she got me out of the closet I'll worry about that after). Once I'm a little more than halfway done with my food Shelby speaks up.
"So are you sure you're ok. If you want to talk about what happened Will and I are all ears."
"No I'm fine there's nothing to talk about." More like I don't want to talk about it with you guys it's embarrassing enough that I almost passed out and was crying like a little kid all because I was stuck in a closet. "It's really no big deal I'm just really claustrophobic and being inside that small closet triggered my freak out. Sorry to have worried you."
"Sweet heart we're your parents we'll always worry about you." Shelby tells me with sincerity.
"Quinn called earlier she wanted to talk with you but we told her you'd call her back later. She also told us she has a suspicion of who was responsible for slushing you as well as locking you in the closet, but we were hoping you could tell us who it was."
"Oh uh..." I hesitated I really didn't want to be a snitch but Quinn had already told them and Andrea had gone too far this time "it was Andrea from glee club."
"Thank you for telling us and don't worry we'll deal with this tomorrow at school." Will tells me.
"Ok can I go now I want to call Quinn back."
"No not yet we still have one more thing we want to talk to you about." Shelby tells me as I start to stand up, I sit back down waiting for them to continue."
"Your mom and I thought it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone besides us about everything that's happened so we've set up an appointment for you with a therapist."
I looked at both of them shocked at what Will had just told me. They wanted me to talk to a therapist?! Why did I need to talk to someone about my problems? I'm doing just fine it's not like I've had a mental meltdown or anything but then again maybe it is a good idea to talk to someone outside of this family about everything get a fresh perspective on the situation.
"ok so when's the appointment?"
"Tomorrow after school."
I nod my head and then grab my dishes putting them in the sink I was about to wash them but Shelby told me she'd take care of it and to just go relax and not forget to call Quinn. I go back upstairs and decide to call Quinn.
"Hello?" Quinn answers after a couple of rings.
"Hey my paren-uh I mean Shelby and Will said you called earlier."
"Yea I just wanted to make sure you were ok I swear Andrea's going to regret the day she messed with my best friend! But how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine thank you by the way for helping me get out of there. but hey listen what are you doing Saturday?"
"Umm nothing why?"
"I need your help with a little research project I'm doing."
"Research Project? on what this isn't for school is it?"
"No but I'll tell you about it more tomorrow at school."
The next day at school I meet up with Quinn by my locker.
"So tell me what's this research project I'm coming over for tomorrow about."
"My dad called yesterday…"
"He did? What he'd say? Did you tell Will and Shelby about it?"
"He really didn't say much of anything, I tried to ask him about everything that's going on but he wouldn't answer any of my questions. And no I didn't tell anyone that he called and I don't think I am going to tell Will and Shelby at least not yet. Anyways since he didn't answer any of my questions and I don't really know how much I should believe everyone here, I want to try and find out for myself what happened to me or to Rachel Schuester or Jennifer Matthews or whoever the hell I am."
"Okay cool but why are we waiting till tomorrow? Wouldn't it be better to start sooner?"
"Will and Shelby thought it would be a good idea for me to talk to someone outside of our little circle about everything that's happened so I'm going to see a therapist after school toady."
"Oh alright I'll be there Saturday morning, come on lets get to class we have five minutes till the bell rings."
The rest of the day passed by quickly and thankfully I didn't run into Andrea and it seemed like no one besides Quinn knew about what happened yesterday. Before I knew it Shelby was driving me to the therapist's office. When we got there Shelby signed me in and we waited until my name was called.
"Rachel Schuester." I looked up to see a woman with red hair and huge doe like eyes looking towards me as she held the door to her office open. I make my way inside her office and she tells me to take a seat anywhere. I decide to sit down on one of the couches.
As she sits down across from me in an armchair she stretches out her hand for me to shake and says "I'm Dr. Emma Howell, is there another name besides Rachel you'd like to go by?"
I let out a heavy sigh "At this point I don't care what you or anyone else calls me. So go ahead call me Rachel, Jennifer, Rach, Rae Kayleigh what ever suits your fancy who knows who I am. Maybe next week I'll find out I'm not even human and I'm some alien species in disguise!" I pause for a moment "I'm sorry you just wanted my name Rachel's fine."
"ok Rachel do you know why you're here?"
"My mom and dad-I mean Will and Shelby thought it would be a good idea for me to talk to someone about what's happened recently. I'm guessing they're also hoping it will help bring back some memories." As I was talking I notice her writing down some notes.
"And I can safely assume when you say what's happened recently that you mean being reunited with your parents?" I nod and wait for her to continue. "Alright now what about you do you want to get anything out of this? We can talk about anything you want or we don't even have to talk at all. It's up to you what we do."
I look at her a little confused, I thought therapist, were supposed to make you talk about everything, but here she's telling me that I'm in control of the meeting. Now the question is what do I want to do? "I don't know what I want to do. I-I'm just so fed up with everything! I'm tired of being told one thing by everyone here and then something else by Peter…I mean my dad. So now I don't know what or who the hell to believe. I want to trust and believe Will and Shelby but then it feels like I'd be betraying my dad. I just wish I could remember my life from before I was eight and then maybe my life wouldn't be this huge mess." Whoa where did all that come from? I didn't think I'd tell her everything like that but I couldn't help it, everything just came spilling out the minute I opened my mouth. Maybe it would be good to talk to someone about everything.
"Well first I want to thank you for trusting me with everything you are telling me and you don't have to worry about anything you say leaving this room. Second you said you felt like you'd be betraying your father Peter if you were to truly trust Will and Shelby and something tells me that you feel that by not trusting Will and Shelby you think you are hurting them?" I nod my head agreeing with what she said. "I want you to forget about them all of them. Right now all I want you to think about is you. What do you want to get out of these meetings? What do you want to do?"
"I want the truth. I want to remember everything but unless you have a time machine or some magical memory pills hidden somewhere I don't think that's possible."
She chuckled softly "Well I don't know about any magical memory pills but if you'd like we can try some memory recovery techniques."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Well there's a few different methods, we could try hypnotism…" I shake my head at the first suggestion "there's also free writing…"
"No, I just got out of school and I had an in class essay today in English last thing I want to do is more writing."
"Understandable well that leaves dream therapy."
"Dream therapy? Is that like just talking about your dreams." She nods her head yes. " I thought dreams were just that dreams"
"Most are just figments of our imagination, but some are believed to be our subconscious trying to tell us important information that we can't remember while we're conscious. Usually those types of dreams are reoccurring."
"Why wouldn't we want to remember it though?" I ask her.
"It could be our brain trying to protect ourselves from reliving something traumatic. And with dream therapy you just tell me about a dream you've had and we analyze it to see if there could be some deeper meaning behind it. But I'd like to try something else if you're open to it." She tells me.
"what's this new method you want to try?" I question.
"First you'd tell me about one of your dreams and instead of me analyzing I would have you close your eyes and imagine the dream as I guide you through it, this way you might see things that you normally miss when you first dream it. So does this sound like something you'd be willing to do?"
"yea ok what do I have to loose?"
"Great! Let's start whenever you're ready tell me about your dream."
"Well there is a certain dream I've had every year around the beginning of September. The dream starts off with me chasing a little blonde girl, who looks like she's seven or eight, in a forest I think were playing a game of tag or something because were both laughing as we run. When I finally catch up to her and she's about to turn around the scene changes. I'm no longer outside and the little blonde girl is gone. Instead I'm inside a small dark room with no way out. I'm claustrophobic have been ever since I was young, so at this point of the dream I'm freaking out and feel as if I can't really breathe but then all of a sudden the a door opens and this lady picks me up and cradles me to her chest. She starts to sing this beautiful lullaby I've never heard before well I can never hear the words either all I really hear is the tune. Anyways the dream usually ends around there and just like the little blonde girl I never get to see the woman's face either."
"I have a couple of questions first before we move on. Are you eight years old as well in the dream? And are you seeing the dream play out in front of you like a movie or…"
"No I'm seeing the dream through my eight year old self's eyes." I say cutting her off.
"ok now what I want you to do is get as comfortable as possible, you can lay down if you'd like." I take her suggestion and laydown lengthwise on the couch closing my eyes. "good now I need your mind to be as open and relaxed as possible." She gives me few minutes to relax I let her know I'm ready to start. "ok I want you picture the dream you just told me about but I don't want you picturing yourself as an eight year old instead what I want you to do is follow your eight year old self through out the dream ok? Now tell me where are you right now?"
"I'm in the forest….
Whoa wait up I think as I chase after my eight year old self and the little blonde girl. "Now Rachel take a look at the forest around you as you're running does it seem familiar? Anything stand out to you?" I hear Emma's voice say to me. I've finally caught up with myself and look around it seems like your average forest at first but it feels like I've been here before in real life I mean. I take one more look around and that's when I see it, out of the corner of my eye, a tree house. How did I never notice it before? I try to get closer but every time I do it seems as though the tree-house moves farther back, so I resign to just looking at it from afar. Where had I seen that tree house? I know I've seen it before… and then it hits me that's the tree house where Quinn found me when I first got here and had tried to run away. "Alright Rachel you're doing great now I want you to try and get a look at the little girl can you try that?" I'm about to respond that I'll try when the little girl (who had her back to both versions of me) on her own accord turns around and hugs my eight-year-old self. My eyes widen in surprise when I see who it is. It's Quinn! I'm about to walk up to her when suddenly the scene changes. I'm in the small dark room, I've always despised this part of the dream, I can hear my younger self crying out for help next to me and I want to comfort her (or me really guess) but I seem to scared to move. My breaths start becoming more erratic I feel as if I'm about to pass out(can you even pass out in a dream?). "Rachel, Rachel listen to me I need you to just breathe in and out ok? Tell me where are you?"
The dark room I stutter out I don't want to be here please let me out! " Rachel listen to me you're in charge of the dream remember that's all this is a dream. You're safe we're still in my office all right? Now try and imagine a door…." This isn't real it's a dream just a dream I tell myself taking a few calming breaths. I reach my hand forward hesitantly and I'm relieved when I feel rough wooden surface. As I run my hand over what I'm hoping is the door I feel little grooves in wood. I run my hand horizontally over them and notice that there's five grouped together and then a little space followed by five more. I lift up my hands and lining up my fingers with the groove marks and come to horrifying realization that these were made from someone scratching repeatedly as if trying to claw their way out. As I stand there in shock the door swings open, eight-year old me sprints out, while I slowly walk out getting a better look at the scratched up door in the light. The scratches look as if they came from smaller hands like those of a child and upon closer inspection I see dark little specks in the grooves, blood! I swallow down the lump in my throat and turn away from the door looking for my eight-year old clone. I spot her right away in the arms of that lady who always comes to my rescue it seems. Before I try and get a look at her face I examine my younger self's appearance while more accurately I look at my hands. The fingertips are bloody and as surprised as I want to be I'm not I knew those scratches were caused by me who else could've caused them! Finally I decide to try and take a look at the woman who's holding and now singing(though I still can't hear the words)to me. As I step closer I hear my doppelganger murmur "mama." The woman kisses the top of her head and hugs her tighter before lifting her head up to continue the song. I gasp when she looks towards me the air leaving my lungs when I see that it's Shelby.
My eyes open at I sit up quickly, Emma hands me a bottle of water, which I greedily drink as if I just ran a marathon. I want to break down and cry right there because not only am I think about the revelations I just had but I'm also thinking about the nightmare I had last night and something was telling me that it was Peter who locked me up inside of that closet. "This wasn't a dream it was to real it was a memory…"I whisper to myself.
"what was that Rachel?" Emma asks reminding me that she was in the room.
"Nothing. Can I go now? I'm done I-I can't do this anymore right now."
"I think it would be more beneficial if we talked about what just happened…but I can see that you need some time to process everything so why don't we schedule an appointment for after school Monday?" I nod my head yes standing up, she stands up as well and hands me a her business card with the time of the appointment written on the back. "My work phone and e-mail are on there incase you change your mind and would like to talk sooner. You can call me whenever you'd like okay? Before you go I just need to have a quick chat with Shelby don't worry I wont tell her anything you said in here alright."
She walks me to the door and I thank her before walking over to my mom who puts down the magazine she's been reading.
"Hey sweetie how did it go?" She asks standing up.
"umm good uh Dr. Howell wants to talk with you."
"Oh. Okay I'll be back just sit tight and then we can go home." She tells me as she gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze before walking over to talk to Emma. Ten minutes later Shelby walks out thanking Emma. As we're driving home Shelby asks if I want to talk about anything but I tell her no, not right now.
We arrive home twenty minutes later and I'm out of the car like a rocket and I run straight to my room closing the door behind me. And all of sudden I find myself sitting on the floor sobbing clutching my knees to my chest. I hear my bedroom door open and look up to see surprisingly Will standing in the doorway. My body seems to have a mind of its own as I launch myself towards him and sob into his chest. His arms wrap around me and a feeling of safety, protection and love wash over me just like Shelby's hug yesterday. I look up at him and try to speak but I can't seem to find the words. He just wipes my tears and says "It's alright just let it out, it's okay everything is going to be okay." I sniff a little still holding onto him as my tears start to slow down. As he's holding me I can't help but think I never felt this safe and protected whenever Peter would hug me.
A/N: hi! i'm really sorry for the extra long wait but if you read the authors note last chapter you know why. Next i would like to take this time to thank seacat03, charlotte 1995, ravennasolo408, gleekfromhogwarts,kkaty,and kiera for helping me with my writers block/their wonderful suggestions! they really helped thank you so much! And i also want to thank just everyone who's reviewed, followed and favorited this story it really means so much to me! :) i have created a tumblr strictly for my fanfics so if you have questions, prompts or just want to chat come check it out, the links on my profile(p.s. you don't need a tumblr to ask me a question on there.) The next chapter will be out sooner because i do have a good portion of it typed question there was a scene in here where the whole school found out about Rachel being Will and shelby's missing daughter would you guys care at all to see that? let me know! also just a little fun fact the different therapy methods i listed and the one i used are actually used in cases of memory loss I actually did a little research. ;)
Finally i want to give you guys a heads up i think this story is coming to an end in about 5 to 6 more chapters. that's all i have to say umm Please review(and jsyk if you're a guest you can erase where it says guest and put in an actual name) so yea let me know what you guys thought! I really love it when you all review...and it would be an awesome early b-day present you could give me ;) Well i hope you all have an awesome day!