Chapter Thirteen - "Things Unsaid"
"You haven't heard from Ziva have you?" Tony asked McGee as then walked off the elevator.
"Not since, boss gave us the time off and she just walked out" McGee said. It really had been strange, after they had closed the Lily/Matthew case Gibbs had told them to take a few days, even more days for Ziva, but no one had heard from Ziva. Tony at least figured she maybe call one of them. "Maybe she's just needs more time to deal with it all"
"I just want to make sure she's okay" Tony said to McGee as then turned into the bullpen. They then stopped when they saw someone at Ziva's desk that wasn't Ziva at all. The person turned around and all of a sudden was extremely giddy to see them.
"You must be Agent's DiNozzo and McGee" The person said to them.
"And you are?" McGee said.
"Special Agent Melissa Daniels, It's a pleasure to meet you both" Melissa said to them. "But you can call me Missy or Mel. It's fine either way"
"Better question is why are you at Ziva's desk?" Tony asked a bit coldly.
"Agent David? She left and I'm the new member of your team" Melissa said to them.
"What do you mean she left?" Tony said to her.
"She turned in her badge" Melissa said to them, a little less peppy. "You didn't know?"
"No" Tony said to her.
"I thought you knew I'm sorry" Melissa said.
"It's not your fault" McGee said to her.
"How could Ziva just give up her badge like that" Tony questioned McGee. "After everything we did and everything Vance did to get her back here? How could she just do that to us?"
"Maybe Ziva just needs more time." McGee said to Tony as he watched over to his desk.
"Grab your gear" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen before Tony could respond to Tim. Before Gibbs could say what for, he stopped dead in his tracks when he was someone that wasn't Ziva at her desk.
"You must be Agent Gibbs, Special Agent Melissa Daniels I was just transferred to your team" Melissa said to him. Without saying another word Gibbs walked out of the bullpen and straight up to Vance's office. "Does he do that a lot?"
"Yeah" Tony and McGee said.
Gibbs walked up the stairs, past the secretary's desk and right into Vance's office without caring if Vance was busy or not. He needed to know why Ziva was gone and why he had someone new. When Gibbs had given the team the days off he expected to see them all back, not only two of them. He was going to get to the bottom of this one way or another.
"I'll have to call you back" Vance said into the phone. "There is a door for a reason."
"Where is she?" Gibbs asked, ignoring Vance's door statement.
"Agent David handed in her badge and gun. She is no longer part of this agency" Vance said to him.
"You and I both know damn well she'd never leave on her own" Gibbs said to him, as if accusing Vance of giving her an ultimatum.
"Despite what you know, she left on her own" Vance said as he stood up from his chair. "She had her mind made up when she came in here. Agent David is gone Gibbs, Agent Daniels is your new agent." Vance said to him. "This time I'm not giving you a choice. Agent Daniels is one of the best, you are lucky to have her."
"Send her to another team Leon. She will not replace Ziva." Gibbs said to him.
"She is not replacing Ziva that is impossible. Of that I know. She is simply just filling the vacant spot in your team." Vance said to him.
"Find her a new home" Gibbs said to Vance, before heading out of his office. He wasn't about to have yet another newbie. They had lost Ziva once and had to find someone new to fill the empty desk. He wasn't about to do that again. He knew Ziva was doubting herself after everything that had happened, and she just needed a reminder that that isn't who she is. Gibbs walked back towards the bullpen. "Tony, you're in charge" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen and over to his desk. He grabbed his jacket and then headed towards the elevators.
Gibbs walked off the elevator and straight to Ziva apartment. He knew she was going to be sorry for telling him her new address, but he wasn't about to let things be left the way they were. He walked up to her apartment door and Knocked.
"I know you're in there Ziva" Gibbs said as he knocked again. Within a few minutes the door opened.
"I do not wish to talk" Ziva said.
"That's too bad" Gibbs said. Ziva sighed and then let Gibbs into her place. Once he was in, she closed the door and rejoined him.
"My decision is final." Ziva said to him.
"Why?" Gibbs questioned her.
"I am not that same person as I was when we first met, Gibbs" Ziva said to him. That one Gibbs already knew.
"I never said you had to be, Ziva" Gibbs said to her.
"You did not have to say it Gibbs" Ziva said. "But you are all thinking it."
"No we are not" Gibbs said. "We liked that Ziva yes, but we rather have you as the person you are now."
"That Ziva does not know who she is anymore." Ziva said as she walked over and sat down on her couch.
"Yes you do" Gibbs said and walked over to her. He sat down next to her. "You are letting him win."
"No I am doing this for me" Ziva said.
"No you're doing this because he's got you scared" Gibbs started to say to her. "He hurt you and now you're just letting him continue to hurt you. You are stronger then this I know you are Ziva."
"You do not know anything Gibbs" Ziva said, standing up and turning towards him. "You can say everything you say, but the fact is you do not know everything. You do not know how I feel. You do not have all the answers."
"Ziver" Gibbs said standing up from the couch.
"Do not Ziver me Gibbs" She snapped at him. "I have made my decision and I need you to respect it"
"Okay" Gibbs said to her. Ziva was right, he didn't know everything. He just knew Ziva, Tony, Abby, McGee and Ducky, after working with them for so long. Right now he knew Ziva needed space, and he was going to respect those wishes. "I'm here Ziva, my door is always open" He said to her. Normally he'd lean in and give her a kiss on the check or head, but right now it wasn't a good idea. He just gave her a half smile, before leaving.
"She just up and left Abby." Tony ranted as he was pacing around her lab. "Not saying a single word to any of us."
"Maybe she has a good reason" Abby said to him. "I mean after everything that's happened, maybe she just needs some space.
"Space we can give her, but this is not something someone does for space" Tony said to her. He stopped and looked at Abby. "She turned in her badge Abby. You don't do that unless you are quitting. Or trying to make a point" Tony said getting off topic a bit.
"Maybe she's trying to make a point?" Abby questioned.
"And that point is we really don't need her? Vance replaced her already" Tony continued to rant. "This isn't right, none of it is right."
"So maybe you should talk to her" Abby suggested.
"You are right. I should talk to her" Tony said to her. "Thanks for listening" Tony said before heading out of Abby's lab.
"What do you have so far?" Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen with a cup of coffee as if everything was perfectly fine and the same as always.
"Tony gave the case up" McGee said to him. "He asked Vance who else could take it and gave it to them. He vanished and have not seen him since."
"Look if this is about me..." Melissa started to say.
"It's not" Gibbs said interrupting her.
"I get it, I'm the new girl. I shouldn't be here" Melissa said to them. "I'm not here to replace her, I swear. I'm doing a favor for Vance. He asked me to fill a vacant spot temporally, so I agreed once I heard it was this team."
"He never intended you to stay?" McGee question.
"I don't know honestly. He just told me Ziva gave up her badge and he needed to fill the spot" Melissa explained to him. "I guess maybe he thought you all wouldn't approve so I wouldn't be staying long."
Tony walked off the elevator and straight to her apartment door. Took him some time to find her new place, but when he finally did, he was glad it wasn't too far from the Navy Yard. He brought his hand up, balled it into a fist and knocked on the door. He wasn't going to leave until he talked to Ziva. Within minutes the door started to up and there stood Ziva on the inside. By the look on her face, Tony could tell she wasn't surprised to see him.
"What on earth are you thinking" Tony said to her, he brushed past her and walked into her apartment. Ziva just closed the door and followed him. "I used to think I knew you, right now I don't even know who you are anymore."
"I do not even know who I am" Ziva said to him, not really responding to his statement.
"I told you Ziva, I have your back and I thought you knew that" Tony said to her, continuing on his rant not listening to what she said. "But for some reason you still feel the need to just get up and walk away. After everything we have done and everything Vance has done." Tony turned and looked at her. "Why? I just want to know why you left Ziva?"
"It is complicated Tony" Ziva said to him.
"Complicated?" Tony said to her. "What is so complicated?"
"You would not understand" Ziva said to him.
"Understand? Ziva I risked my entire career and my life for you, so don't tell me I won't understand" Tony said to her, slightly snapping at her, not meaning too. "You are walking away from this team, this family" Tony started to say, he then lowered his voice "From me." Ziva just looked up at him, not really sure what to say. "I'm your partner Ziva, but right now it seems I'm not even that anymore."
"Tony" Ziva started to say, but was quickly interrupted by Tony again.
"Don't" He said to her. He just needed to get this of his cheat. "I don't want to hear another lie. I thought we were past that and we actually trusted each other. Clearly I was wrong."
"I...I do trust you" Ziva said finally getting a word in.
"Really you have a strange way of showing it?" Tony snapped at her. "Why'd you tell Gibbs the truth and lie to me?"
"I…I…I" Ziva tried to say, but couldn't get the words out. "I was not trying to hurt you."
"Well you did a great job of that" Tony said to her. "I was here Ziva, I was here. All you have to do was call me and I would have come."
"I know that" Ziva said to him. "That is why I did not" she said to him. "I did not want you to see that person I became, that person he made me. I am not walking away from any of you; I am walking away because I do not trust myself. I have been through so much Tony, that I am sure you know, but right now I cannot be that person you all expect me to be."
"Expect you to be?" Tony said to her, not sure what she was saying with that comment. "Ziva we don't expect you to be anyone but who you are, we all mess up, we all have bad days. I know it's not the same, but at one point in our lives we all go through something that changes us in some way. It's supposed to be for the better, and sure it doesn't seem that way at first, but I promise you it will get better. The best thing to do is be surrounded by friends and family, don't lock yourself away hoping to make it go away, because it won't. You'll just be alone with those monsters you are trying to hide from. And in the end those monsters might win, so please don't push us away, because we are here and we won't leave you."
"I have made my decision and I need to live with it" Ziva said to him.
"I'm not going to let you do this Ziva. I won't" Tony said to her.
"It is already done" Ziva said.
"Then undo it" Tony said to her.
"I cannot" Ziva said to him. "It is not that simple, Tony."
"Then make it that simple" Tony said to her. He just wasn't about to let her walk away not again.
"It is what it is Tony" Ziva said.
"That's not good enough it will never be good enough" Tony said to her.
"I am sorry Tony" Ziva said to him.
"So am I" Tony responded back, when he saw that look in her eyes. "I'm done, I'm done trying. This is what you want, and then this is what it is. I hope you have a good life, Ziva." Tony said to her. He knew he didn't want to say those words. He wanted to shake some sense into her and make her come back, but that wasn't going to happen. He was just hoping she'd change her mind all on her own. Before he let her say anything he just walked out of her apartment and to the elevator. It just hurt far too much to be in that room anymore then he had to be in the moment. But she was right it was what it was and he couldn't change it no matter how much he wanted too.
AN: might be a little oc, but for my storyline it works and I love it.