Chapter Seventeen - "Unsaid Moments"

Tony walked off the elevator and headed towards his apartment. It had been on strange day, but glad it was finally over. Now he just knew he had to go out. He had told them he would go out with them all tonight and even though he didn't want to he said he would. Once he rounded the corner to his apartment door; he stopped dead in his track. The one person he never thought he'd see again was standing right in front of his door. Then again he had slightly questioned it, wither it could have been her that had gone to see Vance, but he put the thought out of his mind. Gibbs has had many people work with him and could have been anymore. Or that is what Tony chose to believe. He stood there for a moment just looking at her; she was leaning up against the wall next to his door. Part of him wanted to run over to her and hug her, the other part of him wanted to pretend he never saw her and walk away, not wanting to have that conversation. Then there was another part that wanted to go up to her and just let her have it. Two Years of anger he had built up because she walked away from them, from him. He took a deep breath and walked over to his door, pretending she wasn't standing there.

"I know you are mad at me, but can we please talk?" Ziva said to him.

"I have nothing to say to you" Tony said as he unlocked his door and took a step inside.

"I am sorry Tony" Ziva said to him. Tony stopped and turned to face her. "I had no other choice."

"You had a choice, you just chose to run scared" Tony snapped at her.

"Please can we not do this here?" Ziva said.

"Why should I even bother listening? I know everything you are going to tell me is a lie" Tony said to her.

"Just give me a chance to explain. If you still feel the same then I will go and I will not bother you again" Ziva said him. Tony stepped out of the way to let Ziva. "Thank you" Ziva said. She walked inside and into his living room area and once Tony as closed the door he joined her.

"Explain" Tony said to her.

"I needed you and Gibbs to believe I had left NCIS and everyone behind, because if I did not then it would have ruined things" Ziva said to him. "I wish I could tell you more, but there is only so much I can tell you. Director Vance told me about this mission my father needed me for and I said no at first. Then everything happened and I figured it was the best chance I had to make it work. So I did, I told Vance I would do it and I left. It took some time, but things finally worked out with my father. Once that happened there was no turning back. I was able to get the information I needed, I reported back to my father. He got everything else done." Ziva explained to him. "Once it was over I told my father not to contact me again and my place was in D.C. I am not so sure I am right this time."

"You went back to help your father after he sent you on a mission that was a death sentence" Tony said. He was trying to understand what she was telling him.

"The only way to gain their trust was to prove I had given up on the…. given up on NCIS" Ziva said to him. "So that meant rejoining Mossad. It is not want I wanted to do, but what I had to do. If I had not done it, I do not know what could have happened." Ziva said to him. "It also made me remember why NCIS matters so much to me. I let what he did control me and mess with my head. I know that is not who I am, that person was not me."

"I put everything on the line for you Ziva, more than once, and not one time have you actually come to me" Tony said to her, finally letting his feelings be known. "You said you trusted me, that I had your back, I always will, but why didn't you trust me with this?"

"I could not risk it." Ziva said to him, she moved closer to him. "I needed people to believe this was for real, and if they thought for a second you were not upset that I was gone, it could have messed everything up. I was not trying to hurt you or Gibbs; I just knew the two of you needed to think I was really leaving."

"You're still not explaining yourself Ziva, you're just making excuses" Tony snapped at her.

"This is the truth Tony" Ziva said to him. "I regret hurting you all, but I do not for a second regret going on that mission. It came at a cost, but I did what I needed to do." Ziva said to him. She wiped the tears away before moving away from Tony. "I have told you, you still are angry so I will go. I am sorry Tony." Ziva said to him, before heading towards the door.

"That's not good enough, it will never be good enough" Tony said to her. Ziva stopped in her tracks and turned to face him. "Two years, two years Ziva and not a word, not a damn word. You expect me to stand here and listen to this story of nothing. A mission you had with Mossad, your father and Vance and yet you can't tell me anything else. You expect me to just say okay that makes sense, all is forgiven." Tony started to say to her. He was finally let out all the anger he had. "It doesn't work that way, you can't just come back and expect us all to forgive you just because you said you had some secret mission and that is why you just left us with nothing but shattered hearts. A mission that you can't even tell us about, so how do you expect us to even believe you on that?"

"You are not wrong" Ziva said to him.

"I put everything on the line for you" Tony said to her. "Everything and you just walked away like it meant nothing. Two years was a long time, but I moved on. Now you are back and that is not okay."

"What did you want me to do?" Ziva said to him.

"I wanted you to say something, anything" Tony snapped at her.

"Had I said it, it would not have made a difference" Ziva said to him honestly. "It would have hurt more, because I still would have left. It would not have changed anything."

"I guess not" Tony said to her.

"Tony" Ziva started to say.

"Don't just don't" Tony said to her.

"Tony" Ziva said trying again, but Tony cut her off

"Why was this mission so important?" Tony asked to her. "You say you trust me right? Then tell me why this mission was so important?"

"I…I… I was stopping a group targeting the Navy Yard" Ziva said to him. "No one knows that, not my father and not Vance. I told them the practice location and my father had them taken out. I did not think there was a need to tell them something that was not going to happen."

"So you lied to them, just like you lied to me and the rest of us" Tony said to her, bitterly.

"I did what I thought was right. If I had not done it, then there is no telling what could have happened" Ziva said to him. "I was protecting the people I care about."

"That is a joke" Tony said to her. "Protecting the people you care about? Those are the same people you walked away from."

"I did not have a choice" Ziva snapped at him.

"You had a choice and you chose to leave" Tony snapped at her.

"What is it you want from me Tony?" Ziva said to him. "I am sorry I put you through so much, I am sorry I lied to you, I am sorry walked away, I am sorry I did not say what you wanted me to say."

"It's just not enough Ziva" Tony said to her.

"Well that's it then" Ziva said to him, trying so hard to hold back the tears. "You cannot forgive me, and I do not blame you. So then this is really goodbye. I am sorry Tony" Ziva then reached into her back pocket and pulled something out. She walked over and placed it on the table, before looking back at him. "I wrote you this before I left, I just did not think it was a good idea to send it at the time" Ziva said, before turning and starting for the door. She stopped once she reached the door and looked back at Tony. "You know someone once told me that people who have been gone from your life and come back; don't just come back by chance. It is because they matter to you and you matter to her" Ziva said before opening and the door and walking out of the apartment.

Tony walked her leave fighting the urge not to go running after her. All he could see what that night in her apartment, how he walked out and just let her go. If he had not been so angry at her he would had tried to call her or see her. No he was so angry, he waited two years for her to make the first move. Now here she was and there he was letting her leave once again. He walked over to the coffee table, picked up the letter and sat down on the couch. He thought about throwing it away, but once he opened the letter, he started reading and couldn't put it down.

AN: Might be a out of character for Tony, but remember he's pissed at Ziva. There is a bit more to why he's mad at her.