I don't own Night World.

Chapter 17

We leave separately backstage after some rather... ahem... heavy making out and I'm blissfully happy, just walking around and smiling at everyone that greets me or compliments me for the performance. People who know me well will know that this is rather odd behaviour for me, as I despise getting compliments (rather odd in itself, I admit, but that's just how I am), and when Raven pulls me to the side I think it's just about my odd behaviour. Though her eyes are slightly too wide.

"Jez... what's going on?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask, confused at the intensity of her expression.

"Your teacher?"

I feel myself blanching and my stomach twists painfully. "I don't know what you're talking about," I say primly, trying to escape.

"Val asked me to go get you about another gig, I walk backstage and your teacher is molesting you!"

"Don't!" I cry, putting my hand over her mouth. "Please, Raven. Don't."

"You realise this is illegal?" She's disgusted; I can tell from her expression.

"Do you trust me?"

"I'm really not sure at the moment."

"Please do. It's not just some physical thing. I love him, Raven. And he loves me."

"Physical? You mean you're having sex?"

"No!" I shout. "No, it's not like that. I promise. Even if I asked, he would turn me down. He really cares about me, Raven."

"I don't like this at all."

I stop breathing. This could be it. She was very maternal as it was; it seemed very likely that, in order to protect me, she would tell the authorities. And that would be the end of Morgead's dream. "Please, Raven," I beg, looking deep into her one visible eye. I see her resolve faltering. "You know I wouldn't stick with it if he hurt me, but I really feel like we have a chance." She doesn't answer for a moment, and I keep my eyes locked on hers. Finally, after a lifetime of silent communication, she sighs and relaxes, lifting up her hand to rub her forehead and closing her eyes.

"Okay. I won't tell. But, if he hurts you, you have to tell me right away, and we'll have to turn him in."

"I agree," I say immediately. I trusted Morgead implicitly, so it wasn't as if it was difficult to agree to.

"How long has this been going on for?" she asks.

"A few weeks. You know the gig before you and Val broke up?" She nods. "He kissed me then, but we haven't been like, together together since about two weeks ago."

She sighs and kneads her forehead. "I don't like it, and I don't like him, but I'll go along with it. I won't tell." I hug her in thanks.

I'm awake early the next day to get ready for going to Morgead's (on the pretext of looking for some new clothes with the money from last night). It's been snowing, so it's quite tough going through some of the deeper drifts, especially on Morgead's road as it's so quiet.

"I should have picked you up," he says when he opens the door. "I'm sorry."

I smile in response. "I'm not a child. I'm perfectly capable of battling through a snowstorm alone," I joke. "Actually, it was quite fun. I like snow."

I make sure I press my freezing hands to his face when we kiss, and he jumps and backs away uncertainly. "I feel really guilty now."

"I know a way you can make it up to me," I answer, pulling him back and kissing him again.

He's smiling against my lips as he gently pushes me back against the wall and starts kissing down my neck. My breathing edges up before I remember exactly what I needed to tell him. "Raven knows about us," I say. He pulls away and looks at me with wide eyes.

"What?"

"She knows. She saw us yesterday."

"Oh. And if she has any sense, she hates me now?"

"How old are you?" I ask curiously.

"Twenty-two," he answers, watching me carefully and frowning slightly.

"Well, she's older than you. And she's not happy. But she promised not to tell, and I trust her."

He looks away, his eyes creasing and takes hold of my hand almost as if it were automatic. "How will we tell people? When you're out of school?"

"How about we think about that when we come to it? You might decide that you don't like me anymore at some point anyway."

He turns back to me and touches my cheek. "Don't say that, Jez. I love you, and that isn't going to change. I know it isn't."

I'm quite blissful as he starts kissing me again, and the bliss colours the entire day. I'm still smiling to myself when I make my way home, passing through town to pick up a pair of jeans and a couple of t-shirts so that mum doesn't get too suspicious.

She's in as good a mood as I am, and we end up going out to eat, which we haven't done since I was a child. We end up having one of those amazing, in-depth talks where she really tells me what she's feeling about dad. I'm tempted more than once to come clean about Morgead, but the memory of him saying that being a teacher was his dream held me back. She was my mother, after all. I'd be lucky if she didn't lynch him if she found out.

And if we stayed together, she would have to find out. That thought is the only bad part of the evening, and I forget it pretty quickly.

The next day she asks what I want to do for my birthday (she comes into my room at about eight in the morning, and we have established that I'm not a morning person, right? I think I mumbled something along the lines of 'Just get me a unicorn and I'll be fine'. What? I was dreaming about unicorns, okay?), and that actually gets me thinking. I'll be eighteen in only five days (pretty late planning, I know, but we're not the type to plan months in advance).

I decide to just stay in for my birthday, and mum said she would make some pizza or order some Chinese, which is always good. I go see Morgead twice more on the lead-up to my birthday, and the day before (the 22nd) we watch a film (I'd begged him for quite a while to watch the 2003 live-action version of Peter Pan and he'd finally given in).

"I wish we could go out," I mumble, looking longingly out of the window.

"We can't risk anyone seeing us, Jez," he says levelly.

"I know, but what if we go to Colchester or Felixstowe?"

"We can't, Jez. The majority of the teachers live in Colchester, you know."

"I'm just sick of having to hide it all the time. Raven refuses to talk to me and I can't tell mum..."

"Don't tell me you're tempted to tell your mother, Jez."

"Well maybe I am!" I retort childishly, glaring at him. At this point, we're at either end of the sofa, glaring at each other. "I hate keeping secrets, Morgead."

"You're just going to have to keep this one, Jez. You're not the only one involved in this."

"Will you stop patronising me?" I shout at him. "I'm not an idiot, okay?"

His eyes hardening shows me that I've made him cross the line. "Well, you're doing a pretty good impression of one. Not to mention of a child."

I bite back the childish retort I was about to throw at him and instead stand up. "Then I should probably go home." He looks away angrily, not responding. "Who's being childish now?" I taunt him before stalking out of the door and almost running the entire way home. Such a stupid, unimportant fight, but could lead to our undoing. And there was now way I could avoid him. He was my English teacher!

Well, maybe we should just move on. It was a stupid idea in the first place, of course we weren't going to make it, even if we were 'soulmates'.

I want to laugh at myself. Soulmates. Yeah, right. As if anything so stupid existed. I was just being naïve. Was he running after me to apologise, bouquet of flowers in his hands, not caring that the rain was pouring down? Would he catch me, spin me round and kiss me hard, whispering that he never wanted to let me go?

Not that it was raining. It was actually very mild and sunny for winter. But that was how it was depicted in the movies, right?

The movies are wrong, though. He doesn't chase after me to tell me that he loves me, and that we should run away to Paris to elope. He lets me leave and does nothing.