» CHAPTER TWO
no use gazing at forbidden sights
you are the world
you win my eyes
Just a few hours after getting some shut eye, Light found himself wide awake again.
He was standing in the kitchen, staring but not really looking at the newspaper in front of him. The metal chain of the handcuffs was strewn across the counter, wrapped around L's pale wrist as he stood on the opposite preparing coffee with meticulous fingers.
Heaven knew they needed all that damn caffeine even if just the previous night, Light was pretty sure he had just about enough of it. Hardly logical to blame an inanimate object, but Light's brain was currently booming on thoughts of the same irrational content since he had woken up.
Where to start analyzing...?
His disturbing L thoughts were the most unsettling, of course. Starting from the uncomfortable moment where L was intent on making him one with the table, leading to the god awful coffee rubbing procedure, before escalating to the spontaneous shower boner of doom. Oh god.
Then there was the borderline fluff moment they shared in bed. In Light's defense, he had been sleepy so he hardly could be held accountable for saying whatever was on his mind. Besides, it would just be contradictory if he denied L's "you like me" statement...
Light realized a little too late that the mock love confession was a bad idea. Even though L's initial reaction to it was nothing at all, it somehow transgressed into what Light could only dub as a particularly messed up form of experimental retaliation. Light could tell L hadn't taken anything he said seriously, but now he could also tell something was definitely suspicious about L and Matsuda's interactions.
The random but most likely intentional drop of honorifics on L's part was just questionable. He never dropped the honorific on Light's name and the latter liked to think that they were closer. So what the hell did it mean? Was it possible that the two had some sort of past? And if so, just what the hell kind of past could that be...? Beyond friendly - physical perhaps? The thought made Light want to laugh at the ridiculousness of it.
It's not possible…
Light finally looked away from the newspaper, resting his chin in one hand as he glanced over at the star of his thoughts across the counter.
L had just finished pouring a horrifying amount of sugar into his cup of coffee and was proceeding to let the cup beside it receive the same fate.
Light blinked slowly. Two cups?
…L was making coffee for him?
Light found the notion slightly flattering. The two had always respectively made their own coffee. The oh so great but oh so lazy L exerting extra energy to make Light some was strangely touching...
"That's kind of sweet, don't you think?" Light decided to comment at the gesture with a matching smile playing on his lips.
"Of course Light-kun, I did put 10 teaspoons of sugar in it," L said matter of factly, not even looking up.
Light gave a tiny laugh – no, he would refuse to dub it as a giggle - as he watched L stir the coffee.
"You didn't have to, you know," he stated loftily, brushing brown bangs from his eyes, as he extended a hand towards the cup.
"No, I did. It's absolutely necessary…"
L trailed off, shooting a questioning look at the other's outstretched fingers.
Light stopped short, suddenly feeling like they weren't on the same page here.
"…I like my coffee black, remember?" He tried, slowly.
Realization seemed to dawn over L's features followed by an amused grin.
"Oh. I didn't mean to mislead you, but this isn't for you, Light-kun."
Light felt the heat creep up his cheeks.
He felt more embarrassed than he actually should have been… but more than that, he couldn't help but feel offended. Opting to appear unperturbed by the actual crushing statement, Light tore his eyes away and sunk his chin further into his hand, eyes now staring down the garbage can.
He gritted his teeth.
Unintentional, but geez did he have to say it like that? The words insensitive jerk can't help but come to mind.
"I hardly think you need two cups of coffee..." Light muttered.
He knew that wasn't the case though, already having an underlying suspicion that since the coffee was apparently not for him, then it was most likely for –
"BEAUTIFUL MORNING TO EVERYONE!"
…Matsuda.
The voice was overflowing with cheerfulness and was just downright perky even at seven in the morning.
This guy doesn't need any more caffeine in his system and he sure as hell doesn't need massive amounts of sugar, Light thought bitterly, not sparing the cop a glance and ignoring his hello as he walked up to the two of them in the kitchen. He even stood next to Light, much to the latter's resentment. It was pretty rare for Matsuda to show up that early to headquarters. Why the hell is he suddenly so eager to go here!?
"Good morning, Matsuda-san," L greeted in a pleasant tone, and Light heard the slide of the cup along the marble counter. He had pushed it towards Matsuda.
"For me?" Matsuda inquired, freezing for a moment before making grabby hands towards the coffee, smiling wide. "Aw, I don't know what to say. Thanks Ryuzaki!"
Light clenched his jaw, finally giving the cop a sidelong glance from beneath his curtain of brown bangs.
Hm, lets see, what the hell can I conclude about this except that Matsuda is starting to resemble a blushing school girl more and more?
He just didn't get it. Why this bothered him so damn much…
"It was my pleasure. I couldn't help but feel slightly in debt after last night's events," L said sipping at his own coffee.
Light attempted to ignore the feeling of being horribly left out here... where the hell was his cup of jo?!
"Please, taste it." L requested with a nod.
Matsuda obliged instantly, and took a generous gulp of the steaming brown black liquid, before letting out a loud satisfied 'ah'.
"How is it?" L wanted to know, tilting his head to the side.
"Well, not gonna lie it's overly sweet… but in a good way! I actually like it," Matsuda stated happily, brown eyes bright. He looked truly happy about it too, even though Light got the notion it was probably sickeningly sugared out to be even remotely enjoyable.
"I am glad you can appreciate the slightly sweeter than normal brew," L's voice was back to the smooth and low tone he seemed to use whenever speaking to Matsuda. It was a recent realization of Light's that this was hardly ever directed to him…
"It's really not that bad. I mean - I can get used to this," Matsuda went on with a matching nod, taking another sip.
L cocked his head to the other side now. "…it is much better than the unpleasant taste I left in your mouth last time then? The exceedingly bitter one..."
The words probably would have just passed Light's notice without a second thought if Matsuda hadn't spluttered out his drink. His reaction proved there was definitely some underlying meaning - he had all but fell over at the comment, his cheeks a dark red.
"Ryuzaki!" Matsuda squawked at the same time Light shot a suspicious look at L.
L didn't seem phased by the indignant cry of his name, dark eyes staring at the small stain of coffee on Matsuda's button up.
"I seem to possess a tendency to make you spill everywhere..."
"- I've got spare clothes in my car!" Matsuda abruptly announced – unnecessarily loud too. He finished his more than flustered bustling with a high pitched laugh before coughing. "I think I should run out of here real quick and get it – "
He stopped short as his gaze landed on Light who besides the dark aura radiating off his twitching, jaw clenching appearance, was glaring daggers straight at him.
This settles it! Something happened between them, and I'm totally left in the dark! That would be fine if they wouldn't bring it up around me! Are they doing this on purpose, baiting my curiosity with pretend slip ups…?! Light was in the middle of a brain freak out. It's uncalled for! It's just infuriating -
Matsuda sweatdropped.
"Light-kun…? Are you… are you okay?"
Light blinked, suddenly realizing both black haired males in his vicinity had their eyes focused on him.
He went bipolar in record time – his flirty laugh of delight slipping out and charming smile on his back-to-handsome face in the blink of an eye. The lightning speed shift in facial expressions actually seemed to irk Matsuda out even more… Light quickly went on.
"I'm alright… just a little tired, maybe," he answered in a cavalier tone, pushing off the counter and stretching a little. He adjusted his collar, before putting a mock-offended expression on his face.
"I seem to be getting asked that a lot lately… I can only wonder, could it mean I don't look as good as I usually do?"
It wasn't a vain comment… well, it might have been - this was Light after all... Right after he said it, he let his eyes drift over to L, who had made his way around the counter to join their side of the kitchen. He just wanted to see his reaction, not that he was fishing for compliments or anything…
L made a show of giving him a disinterested once over.
"No," he said when they locked eyes. "You don't."
Light flushed at that.
Did L seriously just agree I don't look good…? Does he mean that...?! Wait more importantly - did he just insult me... augh - the nerve, just look at him!
"That's not what I meant - of course you always look GREAT, Light-kun," Matsuda cut in hastily, waving his hands in front of him as if the movement would dismiss the misinterpretation. "It's just... well you've kinda sorta got this ominous aura around you right now… it's like I can almost feel it, brooding… just overwhelming."
Oh so now he was psychic? Light thought sarcastically but bit back any malicious remarks.
Instead, he waved a hand dismissively.
"Well, just because I look bad right now doesn't mean I'm brooding."
"That's good," L declared abruptly. "Otherwise I would have formed the theory that you are more than capable at deceptive appearances; seemingly innocent but with mal intentions beneath a composed exterior."
Light gaped before blinking more times than necessary at the random deduction.
"Seriously…? You're comparing something this irrelevant as possible evidence?!"
"Is it so surprising?"
"Unbelievable, Ryuzaki!" Light threw up his hands and felt his annoyance skyrocketing. "So, I'm suddenly Kira again!"
"You've always been Kira."
Light resisted the urge to throttle, feeling slightly skeptical instead.
"Huh, really. Well then, why don't I entertain your theory for a second… what if I was Kira and completely lost control right here right now?"
"Light-kun, you are aware statements like that can easily be used against you," L drawled, looking bored.
Light's eyes bulged now in irritation. "It's hypothetical so no -" he crossed his arms. "They can't."
He ignored the nervous look Matsuda was throwing between them.
L made a show of seeming to ponder before locking eyes with Light. His body language was cool, calm - detached, but the intensity of his gaze made Light felt like he was rooted to the spot.
"If you were Kira? Attempting to commit homicide right here…?" He took a step towards Light. "Right now?"
Light resisted the urge to step back, instead looking down on the dark eyed predator with the most defiant look he could muster at the moment.
"Yeah, that. What would you do?"
"We would, without a doubt, be forced to resort to violence."
"Oh! Well look at that, the very thing justice is so against." Light said it mockingly. "Can you be a little more specific for me? Punch and a kick or a knife and a gun?"
"Firepower, naturally." L quipped without skipping a beat.
"Oh," Light breathed, raising an eyebrow but not at how their faces were suddenly within inches of each other. His eyes were wide to project how dubious he felt. "So you're telling me," he decided to deliver a condescending poke to L's chest before continuing, "You'd really just shoot me…?"
He wouldn't admit it but yes, he was semi-insulted and just a tad bit unhappy with the fact L wouldn't hesitate in ending his existence… just like that.
"No," L was suddenly leaning even closer and out of the corner of his eye, Light caught sight of slender white fingers forming the shape of a gun before feeling it against him - starting dangerously low – inches from the button of his jeans, dragging upwards. Light's breath hitched, and he watched as it trailed all the way to the middle of his forehead.
"...I would bang you."
What did he say – no, he can't freak out no matter how weird that statement sounded. Besides, he should really be getting used to L's suggestive wording these days...
"Bang – right, whatever," Light scoffed dismissively though it took a lot of willpower not to fidget.
His skin felt hot where L's touch had lingered. He racked his brain for a snide comment. "You really think a simple gunshot would stop Kira from going insane and killing everyone?"
"Actually..." L grinned crookedly. "I think a couple of bangs would repeatedly make him lose his mind…"
Light faltered at that, refusing to acknowledge the heat in his cheeks as well as any other possible way to take that sentence.
Pointless, this is a pointless conversation, because there's no way that I am Kira. And even if I was there was no way in hell I'd let L "bang" me…repeatedly…and make me lose my mind… he mentally smacked himself. He won't get to me with this…!
"I don't even know what we're talking about right now." There - a clean cool subject change with condescending undertones.
"Then perhaps it is no longer necessary to continue talking to me," L drawled, voice cooler and even more condescending with just a hint of superiority. Finality.
Light glared now. Such… a bossy… mother -
"Um, you guys, I think I'm just going to run back to my car real quick – " Matsuda spoke up timidly, putting a hand on L's shoulder tentatively. When he got their attention, he gestured to the slight coffee stain on his shirt. "...I'm going to change my shirt."
L gave a lazy nod, no longer invading Light's personal space, and staring resolutely at the ceiling.
"Go ahead," Light muttered, in a pissed off mood now.
Matsuda exited quickly and Light once again found himself alone with the detective.
It was all too much really.
Sleepless nights, the nonexistent progress on the Kira case, Matsuda and L's mysterious past, L himself… all that and being accused of being a cold blooded murderer on the daily was the cherry on top… Being forced to consume the contents of such a stress filled cake could really put someone in a bad mood.
Light was in the middle of crying out to the heavens in his mind about what exactly did he do in his young life to deserve such unfair circumstances, when he felt the handcuff tug against his wrist. L had begun walking and Light had no choice but to follow.
He sighed, not a word said between them, as he followed the dark haired man. It was only when they walked past their designated work stations and were mid ascend up the flight of stairs, when he decided to speak up.
"Our computers aren't over here…" Light pointed out slowly as they went up another flight.
L didn't even look at him, maintaining a few steps in above him, in his usual horrible posture. "Your deductive skills never cease to amaze me, Light-kun."
Light gritted his teeth. "Yeah, thanks - but when you're done admiring me, are you going to tell me where exactly you're taking me?"
"The roof."
And sure enough, the two made their way up the who knows how many flights of stairs. Light wondered briefly why the hell they didn't just use the elevator…
Finding himself standing on the building's spacious roof area, with helicopter landing and everything, he had to admit, L had pretty good taste when it came to structural design. Everything about the headquarters was wide and spacious, but not unnecessarily huge. There was also a modern touch to it that was somehow sophisticated and professional. He could admit he was also just a little impressed at how rich he was too…
He stood next to L, who had taken to looking out over the view of the city with his thumb between his lips. Light placed his hands on the edge of the low rising wall, peering over the edge. It was a long way down from there...
"What are we going to do here?" Light finally asked as he realized L was seriously just going to stand there and gaze in absolute silence.
L gave him a sidelong glance with no expression.
"What do people usually do on the roof?"
Light furrowed his eyebrows at that.
Well, he had several answers for the question – like in high school when students went to the roof to do drugs or smoke or perhaps something even more rated R – he flushed at the last thought. The hell? Get a grip, Light… it couldn't possibly be that, and none of the above seemed likely either though ones first impression of L would most likely be …omgwtfdrugsnow,plz… what with the addict eyes and all. But no, none of those were reasonable answers. So he resorted to an honest shrug.
"Don't know - jump off it." Light suggested only slightly darkly, annoyed mood having not left him completely.
L gave him a look like he took it seriously.
"Oh come off it," Light groaned. "It was a joke, Ryuzaki... you know, a JOKE."
"Interesting you find humor in the notion of me springing towards my demise..."
"I don't – and I never specifically said you," Light defended, voice tight, before opting to go back to the original topic, desperate to prevent another you-are-kira onslaught. "What do people do on the roof? Enjoy the fresh air."
"I find that answer more agreeable."
Light raised an eyebrow. "To be honest, I never thought you felt like getting some."
L seemed to take the simple comment in a different way, though Light wasn't sure exactly how.
"Can it be any more obvious?"
L said it softly, and more to himself but Light heard it anyways. He had no idea how to reply and instead found himself staring at the fluffy clouds drifting near the sun which was burning in the sky even at the early hour. The breeze was ruffling his hair, and Light was in the middle of trying to keep his bangs in place with his perfect hair when he noticed L had gotten closer to him and was staring at him instead of the glorious view.
"What?" Light asked, pausing mid hair brush.
"I suppose I should tell you the real reason I brought you here," he said at last, before giving a tiny sigh. "I could not help but get the impression there's something on your mind bothering you. Your sudden shift in moods seem more consistent than usual. I'd like to know what it is, if you would like to tell me."
Light stared, hesitating in his reply.
There were definitely things on his mind. Things that should be like the Kira case and things that shouldn't be like the alarmingly wide range of emotions the detective was manifesting in him, whether intentional or not. Then there was the unreasonable jealousy because of Matsuda... all that in just one night? He already couldn't take anymore! Was he so unfamiliar with emotions that he had no idea how to react now that he was feeling a million different kinds…?
Light couldn't deny it was driving him crazy. It wasn't really so easy to dismiss the fact that he more or less got a boner from the guy next to him just last night… while they were naked around each other... with his mind on something so basic as a gasp.
Am I some sort of pervert -
"Light-kun?"
Light realized he had been lost in thought again, a bad habit he seemed to be developing– it was also uncanny and just a fraction unsettling how L seemed to notice right away the moment his mind was reeling in the confines of his skull, banging around his brain, with no way out and no way to make them stop or go away.
He forced out a laugh to buy him time, elbows on the wall edge.
What should I say… Should I just tell him that it's basically HIM bothering me?
He felt L stand beside him against the ledge, one hand to his mouth, the other uncharacteristically splayed across the edge as well.
The image of their hands inches apart was alluring. They were a stark contrast from each other - L's pale and slender, curled somewhat awkwardly - Light's splayed out freely his skin a healthy glow, just as slender - but they were both bearing the silver metal around their wrists. A sun ray caught on the handcuff for a moment making it look like it was sparkling and Light tore his eyes away the moment his mind started to dub it as a jarringly beautiful sight…
"Well, Ryuzaki, of course I've got things on my mind, it's impossible not to," he finally said , voice quiet. "It's nothing though...really – just a bunch of stupid things, if you want the truth."
"Who wants anything else?" L asked cryptically and he didn't wait for an answer before reverting back to the topic, "Even if you think it is stupid, that does not make it meaningless to mention."
"Well, maybe it really is just stupid, I mean - does everything have to have meaning?"
"We're not talking about everything, the subject is of what you are thinking so only you can answer that," he said then more clearly, "Are all your actions – your thoughts… your words… - meaningless?"
It was asked in monotone, but Light caught sight of the slight fist he had formed with his hand.
He couldn't stop from frowning slightly, and he felt guilt seep through his body.
Yesterday... that mocking love confession. Could that be what he's questioning? What he's getting at with the accusation of nothing meaning anything to me?
L had a knack for talking in riddles, not asking something outright but getting people to give the answer anyway - either because he liked to play or he had his own reasons not to directly voice it.
Light's frown deepened.
Could it be he's actually upset about what I said… does he know it was one big joke and did it just rub him the wrong way? Did it cross the line? I can't even tell if he was revolted by such suggested feelings of like-like or if he was angry that I had tried such a low tactic on him… what was it really? Was he truly offended – hence the endless tactic to annoy me by acting closer to Matsuda than he was to me…?
Light wasn't sure, his thoughts leading to no solid conclusion. It was driving him mental, to say the least.
"Ryuzaki…" he trailed off, not even knowing what exactly to say or if he was even correct about his assumptions. L's expressionless everything gave nothing away.
"Would you like to know what I think is meaningless, Light-kun?"
"Tell me…"
"Anything based on lies is meaningless."
L said it tonelessly while his dark eyes gazed twenty floors down, his lowered eyelids and eyebags making him look tired but more notably… utterly lonely.
Light ignored the tug at his heart, swallowing around a lump in his throat.
That simple statement made him feel… even more guilty - which didn't even make sense... because what was there to feel guilty for? It's not like he was Kira, and he was lying to L's face every single day. Right…?
"Like this extremely dysfunctional friendship, huh?" Light said, and he wondered when the moment became so dramatic.
The movement of L's hand caused the handcuff to jingle softly, and Light was stunned when he felt the hand reach out to brush his bangs from his face.
L stared at him intensely.
"…like you and me."
Then the hand was gone, and Light found himself staring at the back of the detective as he began walking towards the stairs.
Meaningless…then…?
…them?
This…?
Light couldn't stop his mind from going into overdrive with wondering as they made their down the stairs – if there wasn't lies, would there be meaning? And what would – what could – that meaning possibly be…?
L hadn't outright agreed with Light's statement… instead had opted for a vague you and me. Not friendship then… then what? Rivalry, circumstantial government relations…?
Then the main thing, was there only lies? Light liked to think he was being as truthful as possible, but the memory lapses did worry him... leaving question marks all his life.
The walk back down the indeterminable amount of stairs was a silent one; Light's thoughts still everywhere while L's thoughts were seemingly nowhere at all.
Needless to say, Light was all but unprepared at the sudden glomp of doom that was flung at him the moment they reached the room of their working stations.
As the arms locked around him, for one mystified second Light thought it was L who had suddenly immersed him in a fullforced hug of incensed emotions. However, in seconds - he got a glimpse of bright blonde hair as well as heard a high pitched overly excited voice.
"LIGHT!"
It was Misa's common way of greeting him but he still had to try to keep off the grimace. It made its way to his handsome face anyway. To be completely honest, he had totally forgotten about the girl...
"Misa…" Was all he managed to gasp out as the grip was finally released. The blonde girl stood before him looking just as she normally did - perky and radiating hyper happiness, decked out in black gothic clothing and accessories but on her, managed to take away their dark underlying meanings.
"Good morning, Amane-san." L greeted with no emotion. He was already heading in the direction towards their respective working chairs but Misa's arm hooked around Light's caused him to falter in his step.
The detective threw a somewhat annoyed glance which Misa caught with a mischievous smile.
"Oh don't tell me you guys are seriously just going to work right now after Misa Misa came here so early in the morning to hang out!" She exclaimed, pouting just a little.
"We are seriously going to work right now." L deadpanned and he seemed to have a pout of his own on his face.
"Don't be like that, Ryuzaki," Misa scolded cheerfully, unperturbed by the negative aura. "Stop doing boring things for a few minutes, it's not like I'm going to be here that long anyway."
"What are you doing here in the first place?" Light tried asking with a polite tone.
Honestly, this girl was just too much, her company exhausting. Sure, she was pretty and famous, but she was older than him yet acted like a child. She seemed like a decent girl but what the hell - she wasn't Light's type. He couldn't even come up with a good reason why he had agreed to date her in the first place but that was only because like a lot of things in his life apparently, he couldn't remember... there it was again, the questionable memory lapses of utter blankness...
"Misa Misa came to see you, of course!" She said it loudly as if it should have been obvious before looking up at him with big blue eyes and affectionately leaning into his shoulder - Light could have sworn she was sniffing him... "I missed you."
Light couldn't exactly say he returned the feelings of longing so he just gave a dismissive nod of his head.
L seemed to have been busy assessing the situation and apparently concluded that although Misa was an annoyance, she was necessary and damned persistent. It wouldn't hurt to give the girl twenty minutes to spend time with her "lover".
The trio made their way to the couches where delicious looking cake was already waiting for them to devour.
It was a bit awkward because the three of them had decided to all sit on the same couch – Misa because she just wanted to bask in Light's up close and personal proximity, L because he had decided that stepping around the table to sit on the other side was unnecessary when he could sit then and there and promptly get to his cake...
Light found himself sitting right in the middle of them, and let out a little sigh, leaning back against the couch as Misa babbled about her past week of workation.
"I actually saw Matsuda on the way up here. He was in his car, taking his clothes off. I was going to say hi but I didn't want to bother him. It was kind of weird… I mean, who does that in the car?" Light caught the slight smirk that ghosted over the detective's face. It was only a split second but he still took note of it. What the hell is so amusing about that?
"Can't say I find that information surprising in the slightest. . . I was the primary cause of it," L commented nonchalantly, already well acquainted with the slice of chocolate cake.
"Eh? Because of you Matsuda was half naked in his car…?"
Misa blinked before waving a hand dismissively, obviously not caring too much about the strange idea of it all. "Okay, whatever that means!" She reached into her bag and took out a few papers. "I'll just ask him later when we go for our shooting…"
"What's that?" Light asked, not wanting Matsuda to be in the conversation anymore.
"Oh, this! It's the script for tonight's love scene," she explained all too happily, before casting a downward gaze, looking shy. "I was hoping Light would practice them with me..."
"I'm not that good at acting – " Light started instantly.
"I somehow doubt that…" L cut in snidely earning himself a brown eyed glare a moment later.
"So you're saying I'm a good actor therefore - I'm a liar - Kira-like?"
"I said no such thing, Light kun," L said so flippantly that it was derisive.
After that, he had all but shoved a whole cherry in his mouth before swallowing it and in the middle of death glaring, Light had been forced to follow the movement, the lump going down the pale throat made his own mouth go dry.
You did not just think L putting something in his mouth and… and… swallowing whole some kind of disturbing turn on...! Light mentally smacked himself. It's that pervert part of me again…
Misa continued on, not noticing the exchange at all.
"And don't even think about saying something like that, Ryuzaki. Because Light is the most honest person ever and I think the only thing he lied about was saying he was fine to stay here with you... no offence, but you're a straight up creepy pervert, you know."
It was obvious it wasn't meant in a scathing way, more of stating common knowledge.
L appeared un-bothered but Light could almost feel his aura darkening. Oh great, now he was like Matsuda, feeling auras and shit…
"If pointing out that I'm a straight up creepy pervert while I spend every day and night six feet from your boyfriend in bed and during showers, helps you feel better…" L said coolly. "- sure."
There were insinuations in that statement that of course were no way true but Light couldn't help but hiss out a scandalized version of the latter's name.
He almost expected him to pierce at his cake with matching intensity as his calm but stabbing sentence. He ate normally however – dainty and meticulous – and Light couldn't help but get the feeling there was now undeniable tension in the air.
However, Misa chose to ignore it completely. She was just like that - not letting any negative vibes effect her mood. Light had to wonder if that was strength or a weakness, in the end deciding it was both.
"Let's just practice a few lines." Light declared hurriedly, feeling the need to ease said tension.
Misa practically squee'd with glee.
She instantly told him the plot of the movie in a nutshell and though Light could really care less, he had put an attentive look on his face anyway. Ten minutes into the practice of the script, he felt like vomiting. It was utterly cliché and there was no real basis for the fiery heated love that the fictional characters suddenly found themselves in. If he couldn't even believe it, how could he even feel it? Or was that just how love supposedly was? From nothing, to seemingly everything? With no fine line to where it even starts and the unidentifiable reason that triggered it… so completely indistinguishable that Light figured that's why it was often called crazy...
He had to wonder why people continued to even make these kinds of movies –
"Light? It's your line."
He realized he had totally zoned out during Misa's characters dramatic monologue and quickly scanned the last line of the script.
Oh great…
"I love you," He read, no emotion whatsoever in his voice.
He hadn't really been trying at all to put any effort in the practice, and maybe he was just trying to purposely be a bad actor to prove a certain someone wrong. However, the moment he said the words he felt the dark eyed gaze sink into the side of his face.
L had been absorbed in eating half of the cake the whole time, looking increasingly more and more bored by the second. He hadn't looked at the two the whole time, but now…
Light turned his head casually, evenly meeting the others gaze dead on.
"I love you…" he repeated, even though the words were only written once. Funny, his voice didn't sound as empty as before... "So please don't say you're going to leave me."
The moment seemed to freeze as they looked at each other with misplaced words of love leaving Light's mouth. It wasn't like it was being directed to L, but still it was a weird feeling that passed through him… and L's reaction? He had sunk his teeth into his lip and lowered his eyes. There it was again, that look of complete and utter loneliness –
"OH MY GOD LIGHT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME DIE!" Misa suddenly screamed in a high pitched squeal. She had her hands on either side of her face, hearts in her eyes. "That was perfect! You were amazing!" She exclaimed before nuzzling Light's shoulder for five seconds, and then promptly gathering her papers into a respective order shoving them back into her pink bag.
"Thanks, Misa... So, we're done?"
"Yep, next would be the kissing scene – "
"Ugh… definitely done," Light muttered referring to the thought of kissing the girl but Misa instantly interpreted his distaste as jealousy.
"I know! I really don't want to. Kissing other guys is just totally gross when I already have the most perfect and beautiful Light of my life…!"
L seemed to find that statement beyond amusing, Light looking sharply at him with a furrowed brow. He straightened up putting a grave look on his face. "My sentiments exactly. Kissing other guys? 'Totally gross'..."
It was obviously mocking but Light couldn't help but feel that he was being mocked here, remembering his own pretend love confession and all...
That was unnecessary to say so why the hell did he even say it? Also hearing L say the word totally was pretty weird...
"Yeah… even though Misa Misa really wants nothing more than to kiss Light forever, its totally not possible what with you sitting so close," her tone was happy and wistful at first but the last of her words were said with bitter resentment, casting the first annoyed glance at the detective who looked darkly amused once again.
"Oh? And what exactly does Amane-san and Light-kun indulging in romantic gestures have anything to do with me?" he asked innocently.
"Well, obviously you are a pervert. Most likely, you have some voyeur tendencies as well – remember all your obsessive camera techniques!? – " Misa paused. "There's no doubt you'd get super excited over seeing us kiss, like you'd probably get hard – "
"MISA!" Light squawked, genuinely taken aback by the girl's crude statement.
She blinked innocently.
"Oh yeah I forgot , my Light is very shy about that kind of stuff. Its why we haven't done anything like that yet. Light never has and is saving himself til our beautiful wedding day!"
Light's eyes bulged but he couldn't deny he remembered saying that. The first time the two had found themselves alone in his room, the girl had been ever so eager to get into bed with him. Light had never actually found enough interest or willpower to engage in sex with another person... so yes, he was a virgin. By choice though! So, it wasn't a lie when he told her that's the reason he didn't wanna do it right then and there. The lie was about how "special" it supposedly meant to him -
But her to announce it with L lurking right next to them…? It was... mortifying! And it shouldn't even be! Like, why the hell should Light care if L knew he hadn't involved himself in sexual activities or not? Its not like he had either… right? So why did he feel utterly horrified at the moment - like L could use this tidbit of information to be superior to him – well, Misa was pretty vague about it, maybe the detective wouldn't even catch on -
"Don't worry! It's a really good thing that you're attaching so much significance to your virginity… believe me - its rare these days! Actually, it just makes me love you even more – "
What the hell - how to make her shut up?!
Needless to say, Light was now freaking out, brown eyes bulging slightly, as he made a grab for Misa by the shoulder to stop her incessant word splurge.
"Misa," Light hissed, fighting to keep the annoyance and panic out of his voice. "Do you think maybe you say that a little louder? Let everyone in the world know our little secret."
He found it impossible to keep calm and be nice right now but he hoped his sarcastic remark wouldn't be perceived to as angry; his tactic of making it sound exclusive and special by saying it was a secret between them... Knowing Misa, she'd probably latch onto that and fall in love with it. …This was Misa, and sometimes - she was delusional.
She blinked, probably hypnotized at Light's utter beauty that close to her, his fiery aura only making him that much more breath taking. She nodded repeatedly with a bright smile before dropping her voice to a whisper. "I love you Light. All your secrets are safe with me." She winked a sparkling blue eye.
Light sighed with relief seeing that she had decidedly shut up on the matter.
He turned his head towards L, and the moment went by in slow motion as his line of vision soon came upon the other still busy at his cake. His head was lowered, black hair in disarray and falling over his pale jawline, but Light could clearly see the tell-tale smirk on the chocolate stained lips -
"…did you hear that?"
Light couldn't resist asking, not even knowing why he was so embarrassed or disturbed by this...
L looked up from the cake and met the others gaze evenly, his eyes dark but all knowing. The expression on his face only looked even more deviant when directed towards Light.
"That Light-kun is a virgin? No, I didn't hear anything."
And now his whole damn face was smirking.
Light's cheeks burned red, and he felt his vein throb against his temple.
THIS… IS… EMBARASSING! AKSHASJKDASHASKHAJK
It was stupid too... it was just virginity!
Why the hell is that bastard smirking like he's suddenly so much better than me? What? Has he done it before? Is he not a virgin? Pfft, yeah right! It's just not even possible… who would, I mean, WITH THAT? Hah…! Light was going crazy in his head.
It didn't make the situation any better when he realized he couldn't even think of anything to say to that mocking statement .
He gaped for a few moments before he heard the elevator ding once again saving him from an awkward moment.