Chapter Twenty Three- "Three Weeks and I'm Still Sober"
Three weeks had gone by since everything happened with Ziva and Matt. Tony, McGee and Abby still couldn't believe how everything had turned out. They were all giving time off to deal with the fall out, the death and just come to terms with it all. The funeral had been one just liked Kate's. It was outside and everyone she loved had come to say goodbye. McGee was there for Abby when she needed someone to lean on and Tony, Gibbs and Ducky all stood tall, being strong. They all knew things wouldn't be the same, this changed a lot of things and moving on from it wasn't going to be easy. They all knew she didn't die in vain.
Tony walked off the elevator and towards the bullpen. It was their first day back since everything had happened. Vance had given them mandatory leave and then Gibbs gave them extra time since she was a member of his team and someone they all cared about. When Tony got to the bullpen he noticed McGee sitting at his desk, face in his computer almost like things hadn't changed. Tony put his stuff down behind his desk and then took his badge and gun and placed them on his desk. He then sat down and just stared at the desk that was right across from in.
"You stare at her desk anymore it's not going to change things" McGee said. Tony was hoping they would just sit there in silence till Gibbs came in with a case, but looks like it wasn't going to be the case.
"It's also not going to change the fact I got her killed" Tony snapped at McGee. He turned and looked at McGee. McGee looked up rom his computer and at Tony.
"I never said that" McGee said trying to defend himself.
"But you are all thinking it" Tony said. "It was my lead, I went in there and I got her killed."
"You couldn't have known that was going to happen" McGee said to him. "It's not your fault, no one blames you."
"You should" Tony snapped. "I should have known the building was that unstable, I should have known a gun fight wouldn't have been a good idea. Had thought about this before we stormed the building, she'd still be alive."
"We all made mistakes in there" McGee said to him.
"Well those mistakes not only cost us another teammate, but a friend too" Tony said. He then got up from his desk and walked away leaving behind everything.
She walked down the stairs to the basement. It almost seemed weird walking down these stairs, almost like she was going to get scowled for doing something wrong. It also felt like this was the first time she was going to do to see him or maybe it would turn into being the last time she saw him. Once she reached the bottom, she saw him working on something new. One thing she could always count on was he was always working on something in his basement. She once she reached the ground floor, she walked over to him a bit.
"Are you sure you should be here?" He asked her.
"I was released a couple of days ago" She answered him.
"That is not what I asked." He said to her.
"This is where I need to be right now Gibbs" she said to him.
"And why is that Ziva?" Gibbs asked her.
"Because I want to thank you" Ziva said to him.
"It's not me, it's Tony you should be thanking" Gibbs said to her.
"That is not why I am thanking you" Ziva said to him. "I know the doctors told you everything and I want to thank you for not saying anything."
"It's not my information to tell" Gibbs said to her. He stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her.
"I figured you would need to say something in the report" Ziva said to him. "Or to Vance."
"We recused you, but the case was Metros. It was their job to ask, we just gave them the information that was important." Gibbs said to her.
"I just wanted to thank you" Ziva said to him.
"There is no reason to thank me" Gibbs said to her. "But I will not stand by and watch your destroy yourself again."
"That will not happen" Ziva said to him. "Things are different now."
"Are they?" Gibbs questioned her.
"Yes" Ziva said. "I know now that I have people I can count on, people who will be there for me. I do not need to hide in the shadows. Someone once told me the best thing do to is to surround yourself with friends and family and not to lock yourself away hoping it will go away, because it will not. That if you push the people you love away the monsters win."
"They are very wise" Gibbs said.
"When I was in that basement…" Ziva started to say.
"Ziva, you don't have it" Gibbs interrupted her.
"I do" Ziva said and then continued on. "I realized something. I did not have any of you to have my back anymore. Had it not been mentioned no one would have known. You all would most likely thought I had left once again. And knowing that I didn't have the people I grew to love around me and knowing I'd never get to say goodbye, it hurt worse then anything he could have done." Gibbs just stood there listening to her. Ziva was trying her hardest not to cry. "Part of me wondered if anyone would really miss me if I was gone. Would anyone really have noticed I wasn't there anymore?"
"Ziva" Gibbs started to say.
"But the one thing that kept going through my head" Ziva said ignoring Gibbs words. "Was no one knows I am here. No one is coming to save me. And I will be damned if this is how it was going to end" Ziva continued to say. " Saleem once said me to me that rape was a weak mans tool to gain control and power' and he was already powerful. That plus Tony telling me I was letting him win, I knew the only was I was going to get away was to take his power away and the power he had over me away."
"You were always stronger then you realize" Gibbs said to her. He gave her a smile and she knew that meant he was proud of her.
"He knew I was Mossad and could easily over power me, I never could figure out how he knew this or could do that" Ziva said.
"That is because his real name was Ethan Vasquez" Gibbs said to her. "He is wanted by just about everyone including Mossad. He was special ops in the CIA, but vanished. They believed him to be dead, but when certain people ended up dead they realized he was alive. Not only that but a threat."
"What does this have to do with Mossad?" Ziva questioned.
"I do not know much, because your father hasn't disclosed anything other then he went after some important people" Gibbs explained to her. "I believe he knew who you were when he met you, got close to Lillian to get closer to you. He used her and all this to hurt your father."
"I do not understand" Ziva said to him.
"I think Matt was wanting to hurt your father and used you to do it" Gibbs said to her. "Lillian and the other women he killed were all just pawns in his game."
"You stupid little girl" Matt said to her. He got up from his chair and walked around the table and over to her. "I already have." He said with a laugh. "Your little friends can't pin anything on me, I made sure of that. Those women, they were just pawns in a game, useless." Matt moved closer to her, so he was only a few inches away from her. "But you, you're like all the rest. You keep your mouth shut, so it's as if it never happened."
"You're wrong" Ziva said, she really wanted to back away, but she knew she had to hold her ground and stay strong. Otherwise he'd think he was getting to her.
"Oh my.." Ziva said as she looked down at the ground. She couldn't believe it; he had said it right to her.
"Ziva?" Gibbs questioned.
"He told me" Ziva said, she looked at Gibbs. "He said these women, they were just pawns in a game, useless. He said it right to my face and I didn't see it."
"We all missed it" Gibbs said to her. "We couldn't have known."
"I should have seen it" Ziva said to him.
"Don't blame yourself. He is gone" Gibbs said to her.
"But those women, they are dead" Ziva said to him.
"We can't change the past, just make sure it wasn't all for nothing" Gibbs said to her.
"I was planning on talking to Vance" Ziva said. She wasn't so sure now. This had changed things, but she didn't know he didn't brag about this to her face. Why he not said anything about it when he had her. She still needed some time to think things over.
"You want back on the team?" Gibbs questioned.
"If you do not want me I understand. I still need to thing some things over" Ziva said to him.
"Talk to Tony first" Gibbs said to her. They had been here once before, back when she thought she could not trust Tony. Only the different between then and now was she trusted Tony, but she had hurt him once again. This time she didn't get mad at him, no she just shut him out.
"I plan too" Ziva said to him.
"Then we will talk" Gibbs said to her. He then walked over to her. "I am glad you are okay Ziver." Gibbs said before pulling her into a hug.
"I am glad too" Ziva said hugging him back.
Abby sat in her Lab staring at the pictures on her desk. There were ones of her with all the members of the team, Kate, Ziva, Melissa, Tony and McGee. She even had a special one of her and Gibbs she kept safe. With all the times he had almost died and left she wasn't about to let that one disappear. This time it was different this time she was staring at the picture of her and Kate and her and Melissa. She didn't notice it till now, but Kate and Melissa kind of looked alike. Almost like they could have been sisters or cousins. She had a feeling they would get along if they had meet. Abby couldn't help but cry and smile as she looked at the pictures, remembering all the goods times. Just then Abby heard footsteps and quickly wiped the tears away and put on a smile. She got up and walked through the doors to the main part of her lap, to see Tony walking in.
"What do we have?" Abby asked, expecting him to be down there with a case she needed to work on.
"You said you helped Ziva disappear" Tony said to her. Abby had hoped this conversation would never happen, but she had a feeling it might someday.
"I did" Abby answered him.
"Why?" Tony asked her. "Why did you help her? Why didn't you tell her you wouldn't do it?"
"Because I told her I was here for her and that if she needed anything I would help out" Abby said to him. "She asked me for a favor and not to ask questions. So I did it, because she is my friend. I'd do the same for any of you."
"Did you know what it was for?" Tony asked her.
"Only it was a mission and she was trying to sell she parted ways with NCIS badly" Abby said to him. "And that she didn't think she would be returning."
"She told you that?" Tony asked.
"Only that she couldn't promise to come home, but she'd promise to watch her back" Abby said to him.
"I needed to know" Tony said to her.
"She cares about you Tony and I know you care about her. You don't have to forgive her right away, but don't keep pushing her away." Abby said to him.
"That's the thing, when she was dying as I was holding her hand I didn't care about anything else other then her" Tony started to explain to her. "All I could think about was if I lost her it be my fault, if I lost her I'd never get to tell her I loved her. If I lost her, I wouldn't be able to live without her. All I could think about was losing her and how it would kill me if it happened."
"So tell her that Tony" Abby said to him.
"I kept meaning too" Tony said. "I would get to the hospital and her floor, but could never bring myself to her room. Then I started thinking to myself would she say no because I was only saying these things because she almost died and not because I really meant them. I couldn't do it."
"She's fine now, it's been weeks. Go to her Tony and tell her" Abby said to him. "If this whole mess taught us anything it's you might not get another chance."
Ziva walked off he elevator and towards the bullpen. This too felt weird as she walked towards the bullpen. She had only been away for four weeks, but felt like it had been forever since she really been back in the building. She walked into bullpen and saw McGee at his desk, Tony stuff at his but he was not and her old desk was cleaned off. It almost felt like when she first arrived at NCIS, only Tony and McGee both didn't like her or know her. Plus they both lost someone they worked with and cared about deeply. Now here they were years later, they lost another person they cared about and she was walking back into their lives.
"Ziva" a voice said and pulled Ziva out of her thoughts. She looked over and there was McGee coming over to greet her.
"McGee" Ziva said as she walked over to him. The two hugged before pulled back and looking at each other. "I thank you for the flowers."
"They were actually from Abby, she just put our names on it" McGee said to her.
"I will have to thank her too" Ziva said. "I am deeply sorry about Agent Daniels."
"Thanks" McGee said. "At least she got to be with the person she loved in the end."
"It was good she was not alone" Ziva said to him. "And as much I thank you all for what you did, you should not have come."
"Ziva you're family, family never gets left behind" McGee said to her.
"Even though I walked away from everyone?" Ziva questioned.
"You're still family" McGee said to her. "Wither you like it or not."
"Then I am lucky to have a family like this" Ziva said to him with a smile.
"And Tony isn't here" McGee said. "I knew you would ask sooner or later."
"I will find him later then, I have to see Director Vance" Ziva said to him.
"Hopefully for good news." McGee said.
"We will see" Ziva said to him, before heading out of the bullpen and towards the Directors office.
AN: You really thing I'd kill off Ziva? Then they end wouldn't be a happy one. The ending to the last chapter was The team morning the loss of their friend and other agent Melissa, but also Tony realizing he lead the team and it got her killed. The Gibbs scene, basically he knows everything that happened to Ziva and feels like he could have done more to protect her. My reasoning behind that scene. And tried to explain why he really went after Ziva. Read, Review. It's almost complete.