I pull Haymitch to his feet and I'm so used to his weight that it barely registers. Then Peeta is there also helping me to hold Haymitch up. I don't mind the help as we start moving him to his room. Haymitch is still conscious though and he tries his best to walk on his own but it's no use. He's to hammered to even realize that he was hammered.

"I tripped?" Haymitch asks blearily and I can see his eyes are blood-shot. He tries to wipe his nose but all that accomplishes is smearing the vomit there even more. I sighed when we reached the door to Haymitch's own quarters. "Smells bad."

"I've got it from here Peeta." I muttered, fumbling for the door knob which is some kind of latch that is normal for the Capital. Peeta's hesitant but I can tell that he doesn't have any experience handling drunks. It's obvious because he is hesitant about moving Haymi8tch without his permission. I got the door open and I haled him into the room not caring that his foot was slammed on the doorway. He wouldn't remember tomorrow and he won't care right now.

"Are you sure?" Peeta asks and I can see that his nose is scrunched up and for once he is judgmental and I know that he doesn't like Haymitch. I know the drinking, and its side-effects often chase people away from Haymitch and in moments when I think about Haymitch I know that's exactly what he wants to do.

"Yeah, he won't remember any of this in the morning anyways." I tell him and since I can't exactly put him on the bed, I move Haymitch to the bathroom and into the shower. I don't bother with taking his clothes off; I just turn the shower on his favorite sobering settings and let it go. Haymitch is so drunk that he looks at the water as if it's a miracle happening. I roll my eyes to the metal ceiling of the train because it's just so Haymitch to be this way.

"I'll send some Capital people to help." Peeta decides reluctantly. I know that just like me he can't stand the Capital people but he also doesn't want me to have to take care of Haymitch all the time. He's made this clear before.

"You're always going to take care of him!" Young Peeta's voice called out. I'm walking away from the Bakery clutching the to big game bag on my shoulder. I'm thirteen now and so is Peeta, my best friend.

"I have to!" I say but I don't turn back because I had made the mistake of going to see Peeta before I took care of Haymitch so now I was later than usual. I don't want to see Peeta's face because I know he feels like I put Haymitch over him.

"You never come to play anymore! You're always taking care of Haymitch, or you sisters or your Mom!" Peeta screams and I know that everyone in the square is turning to stare at the screaming children. My anger, which has been worse and worse flares and I turn to Peeta then and scream something that I'll regret for the rest of my life.

"Just because your family has enough to eat and a warm bed doesn't mean mine does! I'm going to take care of my family whether you care or not!" I screamed and turned away from his shocked face.

We'd apologized to each other eventually but we've avoided our social status differences ever since. But now I see it coming out again. Peeta believes that I shouldn't have to take care of Haymitch but I don't care. I want to take care of Haymitch.

"No, I'm fine." I tell him instead of getting angry because I'm a woman and I can't get angry so easily any more. Peeta doesn't mention the memory either though I'm sure he knows that I thought about it. Instead he turns with a nod and walks away to I guess his own rooms.

I wait until I hear the door close before I get down on my knees beside the bathing tub. Haymitch is struggling to rise from the water so I push him back down and instead start undressing him for the second time that day. Except this time I leave he in his boxers so that I can was him. He's to drunk to realize what's really going on and instead he's talking nonsense about everything. I don't mind too much because I'm happy just taking care of Haymitch, though I could do without having to see him in such a destroyed state.

When I'm done washing the vomit away and cleaning his hair, which he had not bothered to do this morning, I take him from the tub. I place both his hands on the electric dryer and that actually seems to sober him up a bit because now he's blinking in the artificial lights that are coming some where from the ceiling. I was more gentle now, when I moved him to the bed, because I know that if he's sobering then he'll feel any pain.

I grimaced when I stumbled for just a moment and it sent both Haymitch and I crumbling. I was unable to catch myself and my back connected with the floor but Haymitch, by some miracle, caught himself with one of his arms. This meant that all of his weight wasn't on me, which I'm thankful for because he really is to big to be landing on my small frame.

"What?" Haymitch says and I can see the influence of the alcohol leaving him faster now at the fast movements. He blinks again and I can see, because we are just so close, the light from the bathroom catching his hair and making it give an effect as if glowing from the water. But he's looking at me and I can't think about how handsome he looks because I've got to make sure he doesn't know anything about those thoughts I have.

"Haymitch?" I say instead and I raise my eyebrow, like I'm not thinking about the heat radiating from him or the smell of the forest that comes from the scent setting he likes on the showers. He moves then, shifting his feet as the feeling of awareness comes to him.

"What happened?" He asks me dumbly. I grimace and push lightly on his chest, to hint for him to get up. He didn't take the hint so I'm guessing that I was being a little ambitious to think that he was sobering up enough to pay attention.

"I tripped and you being leant against my arm caused you to fall." I told him and he still didn't seem to get that he was all over me. I pushed again and he frowned at me but he finally understood and pushed himself off of me and instead started stumbling to get up. I sighed and lifted my own self up to help him to the bed.

When he was finally lying with his head on the pillows I let out the breath I had been holding. I was tired and I really don't need to give an explanation to why because after all I've been through today I don't feel like I owe anyone anything. So I tugged the blankets out from under him only so that I can place them over him. Haymitch laid still and let me do what I needed to before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry." He told me and I blinked before taking it in stride.

"It's all right." I soothed him because I don't know what he's apologizing for. I just make sure to tuck him in before I move away and turn off the lights. We are surrounded by darkness and I fumble my way to the door, going to leave when Haymitch's voice stops me.

"Katfir…" He breaths out and I'm turning back to him before I can think about it. He's sitting up in bed, one foot on the ground and he's supporting himself on his hands. "I'm sorry." He whispers to me again and his expression is desperate. There's nothing I can really do but smile.

"There's nothing to apologize for." I tell him this time before I move back to push him under the blankets. Sometimes I really want to tell Haymitch and this moment, when he's lost and wouldn't remember it in the morning is another one of those times. I force myself not to though. Instead I start singing to him.

"Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation…

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination…

Silently the senses abandon their defenses…

Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor…

Grasp it, sense it- tremulous and tender..

Turn your face away from the garish light of day,

Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light

And listen to the music of the night…"

I continued to sing gently until the worry on his face disappeared and he fell into sleep. I stayed for a few moments, just sitting there at his bed side because Haymitch's face, so peaceful, and calm at that moment, was so attractive. Without much thought I moved down and I placed a careful and loving kiss on his stubbly cheek. Haymitch didn't move, even when I got up from the side of his bed. I hoped that it was a sign that for once he would be getting a good nights rest but I can only hope.

I left his rooms not long after singing him to sleep so that I could fall into bed myself. The bed was very comfortable, the one in my room. The covers felt like water they were so silky and light. The pillow was so cool and it cupped around my head like it was made exactly for me.

All of these factors were amazing but no matter which way I laid, I couldn't find sleep. I knew that I had to realize a lot of things, and let go of others. I had to let go of my family because if I held on to them, I'd be distracted by thinking of what was best for them. I knew that the best thing I could do for them is to live through this. It's this thought that brings me around to another something that I didn't want to realize.

Peeta, my best friend since I was five, was now my enemy. I couldn't let his kind and familiar ways let me die. I had to think that I could possible soon have his blood on my hands, and it was something that I didn't want to realize because Peeta dead would be just as bad as having Haymitch's death on my hands. I'll probably end up just like Momma and Katniss did when Daddy died. I couldn't take any people dying by my hands. Animals were different, I couldn't tell their emotions, I hadn't known them for years and I for sure couldn't be attracted to them.

"My son talks about you."

"He loves you, so please, if-if it's you in the arena, Please, please make it quick."

What was I supposed to do with that? I didn't love Peeta, no more than my best friend. I don't think he's ever said anything, or done anything that would show me that he loves me. He's never told me, never done anything that a best friend wouldn't do with a best friend. I have to continue to ignore his fathers confession, because Peeta can't love me, not where we are going, not in the Capital, and not in the arena, not if we want to stay alive.

I just hope for our sakes that we never have to meet in the arena because I don't want my blood on Peeta's hands, just like I don't want his on mine. I didn't want to think about how after this I'll never be able to talk to the kind sweet boy who was always there for me, who told me that no matter what, we'll always take care of each other. But I have to.

"HAHA! Katniss and Katfir! How stupid!" The bully yelled, pointing at my sister and I. I pull my sister behind me and puff my chest out. Daddy tells me that I have to be the strong one of us, that I can't let anyone pick on Katniss. He says that when Mommy's tummy finally pops that I'm going to have to help him take care of that baby to but that just confuses me. Why would Mommy's belly pop?

"Our names aren't stupid!" I shriek and my voice comes out shaky, not as steady as I meant it because now the big boy, who is at least four years older then me, is getting angry that I'm not cowering in his footsteps. The bully's father was a prominent person, the secretary to the mayor but I don't care if we were from two different Districts! He doesn't get to make fun of my sister and me.

"They are to! My father says so!" He shouts back and I can't control my anger, even when I'm five.

"Well your father's as stupid as…as the backside of a monkey!" I shout only because I remember earlier when we were learning about the monkey's that inhabit District 4. The bully seems to know what I'm talking about and his face gets really red. I panic and I can hear my little sisters crying, she's twenty minutes younger then me, so Dad says I got to protect her to.

"Take it back!" He screams at me and I'm scared because there was no one but other kids there to mock him into hitting me. That happens to be the first thing he does, is hit me on the cheek. I go down fast because my tiny body is nothing compared to his well fed stature. I scream really loud and that makes the baker come out of his house because he knows my voice from the times Daddy took me around.

"What's going on here?" The baker asks in a loud voice and without any further questions all the kids are scrambling to get away. The baker can't do anything, because there is so many of us. I look for my sister, but she's not there but I see her braid disappear towards were we left Daddy shopping at the Hob.

The baker moves forward and my young eyes can tell that his wife is out shopping because the baker is nice when she's gone. I smile at him when he bends down but he's got a worried face so my smiled falters. "Are you alright little miss?" He asks me and I nod, even though my face stings really badly. "Well let's just get you inside and wait for your father there." He lifts me up.

I remember being sat down on a table covered with flour and then the baker left because he wanted to go get my father himself. And that's when I saw him. He was standing half hidden behind the door way but his eyes were peeking out at me. He held a blanket in one hand, and a hand was in his bright blonde hair. Even though my face throbbed I remember Daddy said to smile when you meet new people so I smiled at him.

"Hi, I'm Katfir." I said, hopping down from the table. The little boy was a bit taller then me but I didn't mind to much. He came out from behind the door now that I knew he was there and I could see that he had a small button up T-shirt and a pair of trousers on.

"I'm Peeta." He said and his voice was small and it put stars in my eyes. I was always one for the cute things. That's why Daddy always laughed when I cried for the dead animals he killed. "I saw what they did to you." He told me, taking a step back but I smiled at him.

"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." I told him and he looked around, ready to bolt if anything came his way. Instead though he took a step towards me and tugged on his hair nervously.

"I won't hurt you either." He said and he pulled his hand from his hair. "I'll never hurt you, if you'll be my friend." I blinked, because that sentence was odd but I smiled none the less.

"Of course I'll be your friend, Peeta, as long as you promise that neither of us will ever get hurt!"

"Okay."

I don't want to remember that memory but I know that I've got to let it go, let it all go. I've got to be aware, and thinking about making me better because I can't leave Haymitch behind to fall back into a liquor soaked depression.

I don't know if that was the trigger, or it was finally hitting me full force but my eyes started watering and then I was sobbing. It was the worst I've cried in years, since my father's death because I facing one of my worst fears, death.

I never really thought that I would pass away because I didn't want to think about leaving my family. Even though I was in constant danger from breaking the law, hunting and going out of the barrier of the fence, my mind has never wanted to think about it. But now here I am about to face death in front of millions of people for the amusement of the Capital just like I've seen so many people do before me. Breaking down now, it was the one thing that I'd allow myself because no matter how I looked at it death was almost certain.

I would never win because there were people who lived to fight in the games, and they almost always won. It was a miracle of wits, and luck that Haymitch won his year. He'd used the force field of the arena to take down the last person in the arena, because he'd had his own guts spilling out by then. It didn't matter if I got out of the arena or not because the pain would be with me long after that. I'd never be free again, I'd never even get to look out at my family and be happy because I'll always be haunted with thoughts of the games. I know because that's how Haymitch is now after his time in the games.

I didn't know what I could do to feel better. The best I could do is hope and practice. Yes, training would have to be a need. I may be able to kill animals with an axe and with a blade. I may even be good with bow and arrows but there is no way that I'm ever going to be able to live in the wilderness. I could last a long time in the wild because I have survival skills, like cooking over an open fire, and recognizing eatable plants but there was no way that I could last with people chasing me.

The gamekeepers may even put us in a place where I couldn't do anything, like a rock terrain. They probably won't, not since that year that everyone froze to death, slowly and without much enjoyment for the Capital people. So most likely they'll give us wood, I only hope that it's a forest because that way I'll thrive.

If I'm really lucky I can show them how good I am with an ax and they'll let me have one in the arena…then I'll…

HxK

I'm so happy. I could rip my own heart out because I'm so happy. You guys really came through and I've been getting review after review for this story. It's the best I've wrote so far and I want to get better and better for you guys! It also makes me nervous because I don't want you guys to hate the story if I do something that you don't like. However I can't tell you what happens next so you'll have to live with the mystery!

Question of the Update:

IF faced with the choice who would you rather Katfir chose? Peeta or Haymitch? HINT

P.S. Don't forget about the poll I have on my profile because I'm going to start working on a new story soon and I need to know what you guys want!