The sight inside of the kitchen truly was an interesting one, Balthazar dancing like some famous cook while slapping Gabriel's hands at every attempt to sneak a taste.

"You know, I can easily smite your ass for this."

"Yes, but then you would never taste it again."

"Touché."

Castiel couldn't rip his eyes from the scene unfolding; it was surreal, having two members of your family in the same room as you when you had come to terms with the idea of never seeing them again.

"Balthazar."

The Angel turned, a broad smile on his face as he suddenly was there wrapping his arms around his fallen brother.

"Cassie, I thought you were gone for good."

"I know."

He pulled him at arm's length, giving him a once over. His incredulous look was only slightly disconcerting.

"You're scrawny."

Before Castiel could defend himself his brother was at the stove, throwing it open to pull out potato rounds.

"I forgot!"

Breakfast was Heavenly, pun intended. Dean couldn't remember the last time he has sat at a table so lively, eating food that was impossibly better than it smelled – which was fucking delicious – while listening to the embellished tales of Castiel and Balthazar's adventures in Heaven. Dean laughed along a he absorbed the information, enjoying the atmosphere but ultimately feeling more alone. It had been a long time since he'd talked to Sammy like this, Lisa's death putting a shadow over him that only pushed everyone away. Sam had tried, God bless him he tried until there was nothing else he could do, but with Dean in his borderline catatonic state the only thing left for him was to leave.

Dean never blamed him for it, glad for the crumble of his resolve so that he could go off and live his own life, make something of himself. Some nights he had found himself too sober to face that eternal emptiness that was left behind. Thinking back to those dark nights Dean slowly felt himself drowning in it, a lump forming in his throat that his food could not travel beyond. Shoving away his plate, Dean rose from the table and moved away before Castiel could reach him.

"I'm gonna hit the shower."

"…Okay."

Castiel could tell that something was wrong, but he knew better than asking in front of his brothers. After finishing the remainder of his plate, he discreetly excused himself from the table and made his way back to the room. Stripping out of his clerical shirt but leaving the white one beneath, he moved to the door where he heard the gentle sounds of running water from within. Gently wrapping on the door, he rested one hand on the doorknob as he addressed the man within.

"Dean, I am coming in."

"Oh – Wait, what?! No, Cass-"

The priest had not waited for a reply, opening the door to reveal Dean floundering a moment as he used his wings to cover himself. Castiel stared, blinking at Dean's obvious discomfort with a confused fascination. He had the distinct feeling Dean wanted nothing more in that moment than to throw the smaller man out of the room, but he was not about to let that happen. Moving fully into the room, Castiel closed the door behind himself.

"I believe washing your wings has been long overdue."

"Well, yeah, but you don't just –"

"If not now, when would you suggest we do so, Dean?"

Dean didn't have an explanation for the feeling of importance to this moment, the feeling that if he turned the priest away now he would be destroying the delicate balance they had finally achieved. This was part of the process for forgiveness; this was something they both needed equally. He pushed the thoughts of his brother once more to the back of his mind, nodding slowly.

"Alright, but could you-"

Cass had moved within an arm's reach swiftly, bending over and reaching out while Dean yelped at the thought that came to the forefront of his mind.

Castiel didn't understand Dean's severe reaction to him turning off the shower head. Standing before he turned back to the winged man, he allowed his brow to furrow as he tilted his head and gave the best questioning glance.

Oh. Oh Lord, this was embarrassing. Dean cleared his throat and grabbed his towel from the toilet seat, covering himself before he made it worse.

"I uh…So, how're we gonna do this?"

Smooth, Dean, his inner Sam teased. Can it, Sasquatch. A minute of mentally struggling with himself ensued before Dean finally noticed the expectant stare of the priest. Fuck.

"Uh…"

"You were not listening."

"No."

"I see."

Castiel sighed softly. He wasn't surprised, not even upset but relieved; he found himself grateful for the fact that Dean was acting like himself again. Taking a hold of Dean's shoulders, he adjusted him so that he was facing the wall with the faucet as he climbed in behind him and took a seat on the edge.

"Uh…"

"Have a seat."

"I'm not sure this was quite what I had in mind when-"

"What would you prefer I do?"

"Uh…"

"Hand me the shower nozzle and sit down, Dean."

Dean audibly shut his fool mouth and did as he was told. It was weird, the situation mirroring his childhood when he was bathed by his mother. The only real difference was the severe lack of physical contact and Dean's uncertainty at how he felt about the whole thing. Involuntarily his body twitched when the priest leaned up behind him to turn the shower head back on. As the arm retreated over his shoulder he caught a faint glimpse of the burn, the hand print as smooth and bright as day one.

"How's the arm?"

Castiel's hand stilled as he attempted to understand the nature of the question. It took him a while to register what Dean could be talking about, at first thinking of the stitches and voicing such.

"Dean, Gabriel healed all of the abrasions, even the-"

"No, Cass, that's not what I meant."

Another moment before it clicked.

"Oh, the hand print."

"Yeah…"

"Dean, it has never caused me any discomfort."

"…You sure?"

"I say what I mean."

Dean's wings twitched somewhat violently when the water and warm fingers touched them, making contact with the flight feathers of his left wing. It took a minute before he felt the muscles and membranes relax into the rough but gentle tough of the priest; his sure, steady ministrations felt amazing on the sensitive appendages. Dean didn't bother fighting the little noises of comfort and appreciations leaking from his mouth, letting his subconscious take the wheel for a little while.

The rest of the world faded into the background for Castiel as he focused on the task at hand. He enjoyed this, having something he could do. He made quick work on the left wing, finishing in record time before moving onto the right. He almost missed Dean speaking at all if not for the larger man leaning ever so slightly closer to himself.

"Cass?"

"My apologies, I was not paying attention. What was the question?"

"I was just wondering if you missed it."

"It?"

"Y'know, being an Angel. Now that you remember and all, do you miss it?"

"I…Truthfully, I cannot say that I do."

"What? Why not?"

"Dean, it was…not as the religious man portrays it and it was not always as amazing as Balthazar had described it over breakfast. I was a soldier. I did not understand what the term 'enjoyable' was. Aside from that, I suspect that it is different than what you are expecting."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Castiel felt the tension in his wings as Dean seemed to become on edge. He couldn't imagine what was putting him into such a state of emotional distress, but he continued onward.

"Dean, it has been thirty one years since I fell. Before I had lived thousands of lifetimes, seen more than any human could begin to comprehend. One lifespan is similar to a grain of sand on a shore."

"Oh…"

The disappointment was unmistakable. Unsure what his error was, the ex-Angel fought to rectify it.

"That is not to say that it does not matter to me, simply that it is small by comparison."

Dean didn't know why this revelation made him upset but he couldn't shake it.

"Is there any way to get it back?"

"What do-"

"Your Angel mojo. Y'know, Grace or whatever."

Castiel had not really thought about it.

"I…suppose."

"Really?"

There was hope now where disappointment had settled. The idea that his mood could alter so quickly with so few words was strange to him.

"If we can locate it, it will likely re-assimilate with the portion I hold and, in theory; I will retain my Angelic status once more."

Castiel finished the right wing then stood and began to step out of the tub to provide Dean with the privacy he seemed to require to finish the rest of his routine. He was fully turned, his back to his companion, before a hand at his elbow stopped him. Dean was inches away when he met his eyes again, the odd proximity doing things to his stomach.

"Dean?"

"We're gonna find it, Cass."

"Do not-"

"Let me do this one thing for you."

He allowed his eyes to roam the other man's face, brown blonde stubble peppering his set jaw, his moss green eyes serious as he waited for a reply. Relenting, he nodded once and met the winged man's eyes once more.

"Okay."