Author Notes: Here's another one.

Fly… - Chapter 10 – Things I want to say.

Marti couldn't sleep.

She had been just lying in bed with Savannah's arm draped over her midsection. Normally, being this close to her girlfriend was enough to calm her down but, in this case, it wasn't helping. All she could think about was everything that had happened in the last few days. Her mind kept replaying the events over and over again. It was driving her crazy.

She had broken up with Savannah so she wouldn't have to pick between her and the life she had made for herself at Lancer. And even though she did that, she was still with Savannah and Savannah still lost control of the team to Alice. This wasn't the way this was supposed to go at all. She was supposed to be protecting the brunette not the other way around.

Savannah could tell that Marti was far from asleep as she pulled the blonde closer to her body. But Marti wanted to pretend that she was sleeping then she would just play along. After all, she didn't know exactly what to say at this point either. She had gotten Marti back and the price she'd paid seemed like a good deal at the time. Savannah gently brushed her fingers over Marti's flat stomach and pressed her lips against the back of her neck. Marti shifted slightly from her actions but she didn't move or anything. She just stayed curled up in front of her. Losing the 'C' from her uniform felt like losing a part of her soul. Her stomach had been doing flip flops since Alice had left the room. She honestly didn't feel right.

Was this the way she was going to feel every time she made decision about her life with Marti?

Is this what Marti was feeling right now?

Marti let her fingers laced into Savannah's. Savannah had given up something very important for her. And how was she supposed to make this up to her? She felt like a hundred pound weight had been put on her chest. She could still hear Savannah's words from earlier. That she was the most important thing in her life and she would give anything to protect her. Marti just thought that maybe they would get a little further along in their relationship before this claim was put to the test. It was too much for her to process.

Savannah smiled once she felt her finger interlock with Marti's. However, it felt wrong. It felt like she should have just let Alice tell everybody or that maybe she should have talked to Marti about it first. Or maybe that she was giving up too much to be with Marti. As soon as she had the thought, Savannah wished she could take it back.

How could she even think that?

She had told Marti that she would give anything to protect her and she did exactly what she had. And now just like Marti had told her she was feeling like had given too much to be with this girl. The strange part was that even though she had this feeling in the pit of her stomach, she didn't want to lose Marti. If she said anything about the way she was feeling, Marti would definitely leave this time. So what was she supposed to do?

Marti got up and moved to the other bed. She just needed a second to pull herself together and she couldn't do that while she was in bed with Savannah. She looked over at her girlfriend who was now sitting on the edge of her bed. Marti didn't know exactly what to say to her. So instead of talking about the uneasy feeling that had been floating around since they went to bed, she just looked into Savannah's eyes.

Savannah looked right back into those pretty green eyes and looked for an answer. She just wanted Marti to make her believe at she wasn't insane for doing this. That this feeling of doubt had no place in her heart and she wasn't crazy for giving up the team to be with her.

"Baby…" Marti whispered finally breaking the silence. She wanted to say something to her. She wanted to tell her that what she was feeling. That she felt like Savannah's choice had put this incredible pressure on her. She was feeling like she could never make a mistake or do anything wrong because of what Savannah had given up for her. Marti felt like Savannah had made the wrong choice.

"Yeah…" Savannah took a deep breath. She would do anything for Marti. She knew that in her heart and there was nothing would ever change that. And yet there was still this question floating through her thoughts. Why did she have to give up everything to be with her? Savannah closed her eyes and tried to push her feelings down.

Marti paused again. She wanted to say something. She needed to say something. Savannah would understand. Savannah would understand and everything would be ok again.

Savannah wanted to say something. She wanted to tell Marti that she felt like that she had given up a giant piece of herself. And that she really did love Marti but maybe she was right.

Maybe they shouldn't be together.

"Umm…never mind. Let's just go back to bed, ok?" Marti said as she climbed back into bed with Savannah.

"Ok…" Savannah replied.

Once they were in the bed, Marti wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and held her close. Marti gave Savannah a gentle kiss on her collarbone and gave her another squeeze.

Savannah closed her eyes when she felt Marti's lips brush her collarbone. Did she really want to leave Marti? Should she? She couldn't answer that. And at this point she didn't want to. She just wanted to be in Marti's arms and pretend like everything was okay.

That was all she could handle right now.

To be continued...

Thanks for reading.