I have to post this chapter because I'm not going to be around for like, a week or so. But please continue reviewing, I'm still going to read them during free time.
December 20 onwards, 2011 9 months ago
It was already Christmas season. Quinn can't believe that she has to go back to her hometown again. It has been 4 and a half years since she last saw her parents, that was the time her father dropped her to the airport during the start of her freshman year in college.
She was actually feeling a little nervous about going back. She knows she can't face her family without feeling so humiliated about herself. She was a trainwreck, still is. Her whole life is a mess. Until now, she still does not know what her plans are. She still doesn't know where to go.
Their family used to be happy together. But just because of the fact the she's gay, all of it changed. Still, she was thankful that her parents did not disown her. Because most of the reasons of people who are gay for not coming out is because their parents will disown them.
And it was the most sympathetic feeling that she has ever known, even though she did not experience it. But her parents were already far from her, it was almost the same, except they still pay for everything she needs. But her parents barely talk to her anymore.
She was a spoiled brat when she was high school. Who would not be if they were in her situation? She is the youngest daughter. They are just two anyway. She was the favorite ones. She always gets what she wanted back then. She has more expensive belongings compared to her fellow cheerleaders. And she was the head cheerleader. Everybody at school respects her.
Despite her wealth and popularity, Quinn was never the violent ones. Sure, some of the cheerleaders bully others, but she was not among them. Sometimes, she would stop them, but eventually, she stopped giving a fuck. She has to worry about herself first, not others.
She was also a straight A student. She was not perfect but people look at her that way. People expect her to continue being good, her teachers expect her to not fail, her parents expect her to make them proud even more, hell, even the way she walks was expected to be guarded by everyone.
No one asked her what she wanted. No one knew anything about her. She got no friends, like, a real friend. She hangs out and goes to party sometimes. But
she had never liked parties. Mostly, she'll stay at her room just reading, writing, or studying her lessons in advance. She must live with everyone's expectations, right? She has to busy herself.
She was a really hurt lady that time, especially on Junior year. She figured out she was a lesbian and she can't even tell anyone about it. She kept her mouth closed, and just prayed for her feelings to go away, but unfortunately for her, it did not.
Until Brittany came to her life, and her life finally made sense. Brittany thought her how to not rely on everyone's expectations, to do just what she loves, to express just what she feels.
Even when she came out to her school and to her parents, Brittany was the one with her. For once, she felt relieved and just.. meaningful. She felt like a huge weight was lifted off her chest. She did not feel suffocated anymore. She felt proud of herself.
The school did not take her revelation well. Half of the school became mean to her. They called her names. At first she thought about giving up, but she realized, what was the use of giving up? She can't take back what she said anymore. And she's happy with Brittany.
Brittany was her savior during those times. Brittany kicks the shins of the guys who would make fun of her. Until eventually, the name- calling stopped. And people just get used with them.
Her family also did not take the news well. They did not tell Brittany about what they think, but Brittany knew it. She can feel that she's not welcome at the Fabray household. So they just hang out there whenever Quinn's parents were not around.
After she came out, things were never the same anymore. Her parents were not her parents anymore. Her dad will sometimes say mean things about being a homosexual during dinner time. Her mother just stays quiet but she can see that she agrees with her dad.
Several of those dinner times mostly lead to Quinn storming out of the kitchen and going to Brittany's or just her room.
When she started College, she first took up a computer- related course, but after a year, she realized it was not for her. Then she took up industrial engineering, and again, it was not the right choice.
Her father almost killed her through the phone that time when she told them that she can't seem to find what's for her. Her mother suggested that she has to go through every course the university offers.
Her father threatened her that if she still doesn't have a permanent course in one week, then she will never get anything from them anymore.
So, she took up the course that she knows will make her parents proud. She took up medicine. Alexa, her sister, is a doctor, maybe if she became one too, she will gain her parents' love again.
Luckily, medicine seems fine for her. But still, it was not what she likes. But what else can she do? She has to be good, better even. Not just for herself, but for everyone, especially Brittany.
Her father is the one to bring his pride down and called her to come visit them for Christmas and New Year. She agreed, maybe it was finally time for her happiness.
She thought of bringing Brittany with her, just to improve the relationship between Brittany and her parents. But Brittany declined, saying that she'll rather stay.
"Come on, Britt. It's okay. He seemed fine. I promise to be there when things don't go well." Quinn said with voice so soft.
"I can't, Quinn. I am just so busy right now. Patients on the list."
"Even on holidays?" Quinn asked, not believing Brittany's reason.
"Well, not really, but there are still some things that need to be done. I promise to call you when you're there." Brittany smiled and kissed her passionately.
Truth is, Quinn does not believe in everything that Brittany says anymore. It all just don't make sense, you know? Brittany keeps on making excuses. She always seemed so busy. Especially on the days that Quinn requests for them to be together. They barely had time to see each other. At first, she admits she was hurt, but when it came to happen really often, she got used to it.
She suspects that Brittany's cheating on her. She's just not the same old Brittany who used to be thoughtful and sweet with her. She's gone. And she was still there, left by the one she loves.
She thinks about it every night, during those nights that Brittany was not around. She cries herself to sleep. But she can't blame Brittany for getting rid of her. She was not good enough for her. She was nothing. Somehow, she understands Brittany.
She can't confront Brittany about it. She doesn't want to argue with her. Because she knows that she can tolerate being hurt on her own, than fighting with Brittany and end up losing the battle. Of course, she does not want Brittany to say the goodbye words, yet.
If Brittany was to ever break up with her, she wants the idea to come to Brittany herself. She does not want to be the one to break it off, because she can't, atleast not yet. She was still getting used to her life now without Brittany.
If she will ever argue with Brittany, it will end things so fast. And she wants to avoid that. If Brittany has found someone new, she was willing to be a martyr and wait for Brittany just to break it off. That way, she would never regret if she has ever said mean things to Brittany that made them separate. Because that way, it will end without any words but Brittany saying "I'm sorry." She has to play it safe.
So she did not force Brittany to come with her on Holidays anymore. Truth is, Brittany did not even go with her to the airport, but it was fine, she's a martyr, all she has to do is nod and tried to understand.
Her parents immediately hugged her sincerely when she came the next day. She was so glad to see them again. Even Alexa and her husband was there, and her 3 years old niece. The family was complete, and they seemed welcoming and just.. happy. But she confirmed that her family does not like Brittany still, because no one has ever bothered to ask her where Brittany is.
Christmas day and she still hasn't heard from Brittany. She was waiting. She waited until it was just one minute before the calendar turns to December 26. But no, there was no sign of Brittany.
When she woke up, she was surprised that she has two text messages from Puck- her high school ex boyfriend. He went first before Brittany. Puck was even the one to take her virginity. But she did not regret any of it. Puck has been good to her always.
The first text message from Puck was a simple Merry Christmas, and the second text made her heart drop and shatter to pieces.
"And by the way, you never told me you and Brittany are over. Since when? I saw her last night having the time of her life with some redhead chick. They were all but making out. But I tell you, Britt has a taste. Let me hear from you soon. – Puck"
She cried that whole day. Ignoring her parents' concerns and just told them that her stomach was aching, but really, her whole self is aching.
So it was confirmed. She was right. Brittany fell out of love. Brittany doesn't love her anymore. What is she going to do now? Right. Let Brittany do what she wants. Let Brittany decide.
She won't broke it off unless Brittany does so. But she promised herself to be strong, but obviously, she was not strong enough for not talking to Brittany.
But before the day ends, she decided that she has to secretly and independently move on. That she has to forget her feelings and just wait for Brittany to put a period to their already messed up relationship. So that, when the time comes that Brittany breaks it off, it won't hurt that much anymore.
And she promised herself that what she was doing was right. She promised herself that when she comes home to Brittany, she will never feel so hurt and alone just like before.
And she will stick to that promise. Okay no, maybe not. If things get worse, she might be the one to break it off.
But who knows what's going to happen?
Rachel woke up early that Saturday and the first thing she looked for was her phone. She smiled when there was already a message from Quinn, at 5:53 A.M.
"Morning beautiful. Just want to remind you that 4 days are over. Talk to me? –Quinn"
She smiled. It was a smile that lasted so long in her face. Quinn must be as excited as her because finally, things will come clear between them. Whatever would be the come out, it was okay. Atleast they tried. But still, she believes that it may not be bad.
She exactly has no idea what to say to Quinn. But she knows that she's ready to talk. She wants to give Quinn the control and just let her decide where to go from here, but she also realized that Quinn was waiting for her about something. So, what to say?
She loves Quinn. And with all the gifts and messages the she received, she feels that Quinn might feel something strong for her, too. It's okay if Quinn does not love her, but knowing that she's important to the girl's life, makes her really happy.
"Meet me at the park later at lunch time. For the meantime, get some more sleep. It may not be that bad, right?" she replied to Quinn's message. She got an immediate reply.
"I can't wait any longer. ;)"
She just smiled and decided to just work out. It's been too long since she last used her exercise equipment, and she really needed it this time to empty her body from stress.
Lunch came by and she decided not to eat anything. She's not hungry. She's feeling so nervous right now. Quinn might be there already. Holly is looking at her expectantly as if waiting for her to make her move.
"Do I have to carry you to the park?" Holly asked, chuckling because of how Rachel looked like at the moment.
"I- I just don't know what to say to her.." Rachel answered anxiously.
"Rachel, it's okay. I'm sure Quinn can handle the situation. She also has a lot to say to you. Then you can go from there." She instantly relaxed upon hearing what Holly said. Holly really says the right things all the time.
Rachel nodded. Then she looked at herself in the mirror one last time before standing in front of Holly. Waiting for a feedback.
"You look beautiful and grown up and fresh, Rae." And that was the only reassurance she needs. She turned on her heel to go to the door but the doorbell rang.
She froze and turned to look at Holly in shock. Only one person could possibly be behind that door because her parents had gone to work. She doesn't want to look at the peephole because really, her heart was beating fast she can't even move.
The doorbell rang again and this time, Holly walked to the door and looked at her before opening it.
Her heart beats faster if it's possible upon seeing Quinn and her usual casual clothes but she still managed to be gorgeous. Her hair looks choppy today which made her even more beautiful. And she blushed even harder when she saw that Quinn was holding a bouquet of yellow tulips.
She blinked several times before speaking. "What- what are you doing here?" she finally managed to ask.
"Hello Quinn. I'll leave you two." Holly gave her one last look before heading upstairs.
"Hi." Quinn smiled sweetly then handed her the tulips. "I got these for you."
She received the flowers with trembling hands then she stared at Quinn with her mouth slightly hanging open.
"T- thank you.. I was, I was just about to go to the park." She stuttered. She slightly tapped her mouth before looking at Quinn again. Quinn managed to chuckle lightly at her adorable gesture.
"I'll be your ride there, princess." Quinn held out her hand for Rachel to take, and this time, Rachel relaxed and took Quinn's hand then they headed to where Quinn's motorbike was parked.
Quinn handed her the helmet and when she was about to wear it to her head, Quinn spoke.
"Rach, you look really beaufiful." Quinn said shyly then rode the bike and they were off to the park.
She was surprised that Quinn brought a carpet and a lunch for them. Good thing she did not eat lunch because she if she had, Quinn's efforts will be less appreciated.
"Wow. That smells really good." She praised the Mac and Cheese that Quinn cooked.
"And it also tastes really good. Here, figure it out yourself." Quinn brought her spoon to Rachel's mouth and Rachel took a bite while blushing.
And all she could say was wow. That tastes like heaven. Seriously, Quinn owns every good trait. She can't find any mistake from her. Being perfect must be a crime, it was so unfair how perfect Quinn is.
"It tastes like heaven." Rachel once again said before getting out a plate of her own. But Quinn stopped her motions.
"Let me." Quinn simply said and prepared her a plate of Mac and Cheese and poured her some coke.
Rachel blushed once again. And she can feel the butterflies already playing in her stomach. Quinn was being very extra sweet today. It was really adorable. "You didn't have to do that, Quinn." she said shyly.
"I wanted to. I told you I'll serve you better than Flo, right?" Quinn smiled.
She laughed upon remembering the exact moment when she got that Diner Dash shirt from Quinn. "That was really funny. But I wanted to thank you for all those gifts. They were the best four gifts I have ever received from someone who's not my relative."
Quinn nodded then she suddenly became silent. It worried Rachel but when she saw that Quinn was about to speak, she just waited for her to say something.
"Rach..I- I'm so sorry about that night. Please forgive me. I'll do anything to make it up to you."
She stared at deep hazel eyes and saw the sincerity in there. She eventually smiled and simply nodded to reassure the girl that she's not mad.
"You don't have to. I never got mad at you. It was my fault, you know? I said some horrible things.."
"No. It was my fault. You were even hospitalized. I wish I was there to take care of you." Quinn looked really guilty and honestly, she does not like that look.
She held Quinn's face and she can't help it so she kissed her cheek in a very childlike manner, then giggles in the most shy manner afterwards. She felt Quinn shivered but she tried to ignore it.
"I said, it's okay. I'm fine now. Don't blame yourself."
Quinn nodded and smiled and she touched the side of her cheek where Rachel kissed her. Suddenly, she became serious.
"Rach, you were right. You- you were right about everything you said that night."
Rachel immediately got nervous after hearing the cue of what they really had to talk about today. What if Quinn realized she has to end their friendship? But with the way Quinn was acting right now, it does not look like that it's what she wants to happen, at all.
"But I'm sorry about what I said, Quinn. I hurt you. I know you love Brittany but—"
"We broke up, Rach. I broke up with her."
Rachel stared at Quinn in nothing but shock in her face and she can't even form a good sentence right now. She doesn't know if she should be happy or not about the latest news from Quinn. Of course, her heart was jumping with joy. But she also has to consider Quinn's feelings. What if Quinn was really hurting about what happened? What if Quinn was just forced to break up with Brittany out of guilt? What if..?
"I realized that things were not working out between us anymore, the way it did before, you know? For a long time now. I thought I still love her, but things became clear that night. I have moved on months ago. I'm over her. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Quinn asked her worriedly.
She shook her head. Because it was really confusing her. Why does love have to be so dynamic? "I really don't. I don't understand the part that you moved on but you were still together."
Quinn just chuckled and playfully rustled her hair. "Someday, you would. But all you have to know was that we're not together anymore."
Rachel grinned widely because of what Quinn confirmed. "Are- are you sure?" she asked, unable to hide the happiness in her voice.
Quinn nodded. "I realized one thing, though.."
Rachel suddenly stopped grinning and said "What's that?"
"Promise you won't freak out?" she just stared at Quinn. She suddenly got nervous all over again.
"I realized that.. it's- that it's you that I care about now, Rach. I have been for a while."
She could not help herself anymore. She cried, but she made Quinn sure that those were just tears of joy. That she was just really happy that someone was finally caring about her.
She hugged Quinn really tight. Absorbing the scent of her hair and making her feel her love. Assuring her that even if this was new, it's real.
"I care about you too, Quinn." Rachel finally said after pulling back from the hug. Quinn wiped the left tears in her cheeks then kissed her there.
They stared at each other's eyes for probably a whole minute before Rachel spoke.
"Is this where we start dating?" She asked innocently. Quinn just smiled and shook her head playfully.
"Do you want it to be?" Quinn asked smiling.
She was taken aback by that. She thought about everything that has happened between them. All of it happened really fast. She can't also stop thinking that she may be the reason why Quinn broke up with Brittany. But she wanted Quinn. She wanted this. It was her chance. She loves Quinn, but it was too soon to say that.
"I do, Quinn. I really do..But, I don't think I'm ready for this." She said apologetically.
But Quinn just hugged her again and rubbed her back lovingly. They hugged for quite a long time. She can feel Quinn smelling her hair and she just wanted to lay there all day with Quinn by her side.
"It's okay, Rach. I don't want to freak you out. We'll give it time, alright?" Quinn then kissed her forehead which made her shiver.
"Oops, did I go that far?" Quinn said. Rachel just nudged her left arm playfully and covered her face in embarrassment. But Quinn let her know that it's okay.
And they lay there all day watching the beauty of the world.
Santana Lopez is the out and proud lesbian cheerleader who really got an eye for one Rachel Berry. It was really unexpected, how she developed feelings for the girl. Funny, even. But she can't stop thinking about it the whole weekend. And now, it has been a month since it last happened and she hasn't made even a single move yet.
She accidentally met Rachel four Fridays ago. It was already dismissal and she was on her way to Glee rehearsals when someone a few inch shorter than her bumped into her, really hard. And by really hard it means they both stumbled down the floor, with her on top of the girl, whose name is Rachel.
She and Rachel have some classes together and some common friends, too, including the Asian girl Tina. She's with Tina in Glee club.
Of course she had noticed Rachel before because of her adorable pigtail which she doesn't do anymore, and the really short skirts she always wears that show off her fantastic legs. Santana really likes women with awesome legs.
She came out of the closet when she was a freshman, and she's a junior now, she was also not humiliated, she's lucky for that. But truth is, she had never been with anyone in a serious matter. All she does was flirt and sometimes stare. She has also experienced rejection several times and she just shrugged it off.
The instant she looked deeply at Rachel's brown eyes and when she felt their chests pressed against each other, she knew that Rachel is the one.
Rachel apologized to her many times that day saying that she was really rushing to go home because she was waiting for an important package, and Santana just stood there staring at Rachel's lips the whole time. And that was when she knew that cupid had hit her really hard.
Which is why she was so afraid on approaching Rachel. She's afraid that she might get rejected by the girl, and she's aware that she can't just shrug that off. She has heard that Rachel was one of the innocent girls at school. Of course she was, she was just a freshman after all. But what if Rachel freaks out? What if Rachel's straight? What would she do?
But she also realized that nothing will happen if she does not try.
She has to collect her shit and just make a move already. Besides, it has been a month already. Maybe it was time for Rachel to finally acknowledge her presence.
It has been a month now since Rachel and Quinn started "hanging out" again. Nothing much had actually changed with the way they hang around each other, except with the fact that they knew that serious feelings were already involved, and the hugs and other lovingly gestures, but they had never kissed in the lips, atleast not yet.
Holly still hangs out with them during Friday nights. She can't thank Holly enough because Holly has been the one to excuse her from her parents when she and Quinn would decide to hang out during the blonde's day off school. She was also happy that Quinn and Holly were comfortable with each other. Most of the times, she will eavesdrop on what they were talking about but she failed to relate herself. She heard them talking about some recipes and dresses and bra cup size and the government other things that adults usually talk about.
One Saturday afternoon, she and Quinn were watching the sunset peacefully after spending the whole afternoon teaching Rachel how to drive a bike. Quinn has her arms around her and she was resting her head on Quinn's shoulder. It feels really intimate. Like when they were with each other, they forget how cruel the world is. Suddenly, Quinn handed her a shirt shyly and told her to open it.
She gasped when she saw what was written on her shirt. Quinn immediately held her hand and looked her straight in the eyes.
"I will read them for you, okay?" She just nodded and she felt her hand trembling and sweating.
Quinn catches up with her breath before saying "Uhm, it says 'Will you go out on a date with me?', what would be your answer?" Quinn asked her, smiling.
She blushed crimson red before nodding her head in a fast manner.
"Yes! Yes, Quinn. Yes!" she hugged Quinn once again and they fell on the carpet hugging each other.
On Monday morning, Rachel walks down the school's hallway with a cheeky grin that she can't even avoid since Quinn asked her out on a date. They agreed to finally go out on the weekend and Holly will be the one to cover her up from her parents, as always.
She still can't believe it. Almost two months ago, she was wondering what love felt like, and now it's happening. And for now, she got the best part of love because she really is happy and just inlove. She wishes that they'd last for years, forever.
Of course no one knew about their relationship yet, except Holly. Alteast not for now. She's still underage. She does not want to put themselves in harm. Right now, she just wants to be happy.
She was surprised when she opened her locker only to find a heart- shaped assorted chocolates with a note on it. At first she thought it was from Quinn, but how can Quinn do that? That was impossible. Quinn don't even know the address of her school. And Quinn was at her university as well.
And who would give her chocolates when there's no holiday coming? All souls' day just finished few weeks ago. What an irony. But still, she felt the urge to discover this mystery.
She checked her wrist watch, there's still 15 minutes left before the first period class. So she looked around, when she noticed that no one pays attention on what she's doing, she took a bite of the chocolate and man, it tastes awesome! She finally remembered that there was a note attached on it so she opened it and read.
You may want to know who I am. Please proceed to the choir room and meet me. I'm waiting now. ;)
She hesitated for a while, thinking it was just some prank. But then, she remembered she was being irrational because there is no violence at her school. She immediately made her way to the choir room.
When she got there, she noticed one cheerleader sitting at the bench of the piano, but her back was turned from her so she does not recognize her. But when she cleared her throat and the girl turned around, she was surprised to see Santana Lopez, the girl Tina was talking about when she joined Glee. Apparently, this girl was the captain of Glee Club. And she has an embarrassing moment with Santana! So when their eyes met, she can't help when her face felt really hot.
"Hi. You came." Santana greeted her kindly.
She found it hard to form a coherent sentence. "That- that was you."
"Yeah. Who else is here?" Santana chuckled. She found it cute.
"That was really sweet. But what was the chocolate and note for? But wait, it's not that I'm complaining, the chocolate tastes really good." Rachel suddenly asked confused.
Santana just smiled and guided her to sit on one of the chairs inside the room , she immediately obliged though she's still extremely confused.
Then Santana sat again at the bench in front of the piano and she started hitting keys that Rachel can't even understand. She immediately forgot how confused she was when she heard the girl sing the first lines of the song "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flack."
Santana stared at her lovingly while she was singing and she got lost in the brunette's eyes. She took time to look at Santana's face carefully and realized how beautiful the girl is. But still not as pretty as Quinn.
Santana sings like an angel. Her voice is so sexy. And she gave justice to that song. It was beautifully sang.
When Santana finished singing, she clapped her hands instantly and grinned widely. "That was beautiful, Santana. You are amazing."
"Thank you. But how did you know me?" Santana asked confused but still smiling.
"From my friend, Tina. You're both in Glee club, right?" Santana just nodded, already feeling herself blush.
"So.. did you like it?"
"Like what?"
"The song I sang for you." Santana answered.
Rachel widen her eyes in shock before speaking. "That- that was for me?" She suddenly remembered what what she there for in the first place.
Santana chuckled and nodded. "Ahuh."
"Why would you do that?" Rachel asked feeling even more confused.
"Because I wanted you to know how I felt when I first saw your face." Santana answered, trying so hard to be confident in front of Rachel.
Blush crept all over Rachel's face. She was seriously aware that her face looks really red now.
"O- Oh. But- but what does that mean?" Rachel stuttered.
Santana opened her mouth to answer but she was suddenly interrupted when the bell rang signaling the start of first period.
"We- we have the same period, right? Can I- walk you to class?" Santana asked hesitantly.
Before Rachel could answer, Santana was already dragging her outside the choir room to her first class.
"Is it okay to put notes on your locker everyday?" Santana whispered to her so no one can hear them.
"I still wonder why would you do that. But I guess it's fine."
When they reached their classroom, Santana once again whispered at her ear before sitting at her usual spot.
"I would do that because I like you a lot, Rachel Berry."