The Capitol
For the rest of the trip on the train, you felt guilty. And for good reason. You were so desperately in love with someone that you couldn't have, and so you were distancing yourself from him as much as you could. But you didn't want distance. You wanted to be close to him. You even wanted to be Katniss Everdeen if it meant you could be in his arms.
At around 4:30 that evening, there was a soft knock on your bedroom door. You looked up from the gash on your knuckles and towards the sound, swallowing hard and ignoring the instantaneous pounding in your chest.
"Yes?" you practically whispered and the person knocked again. You cleared your throat. "Yes?" you said louder and your door opened a crack. Peeta peered inside.
"Jacklyn?" he said cautiously, as though the sound of his voice was going to send you off again. You said nothing. "Can I come in?"
"Why?" you asked.
"Well, we're about to be at the Capitol any minute and I didn't know if you wanted to talk." Your heart almost stopped. How could you have wasted so much time? It seemed like just yesterday you had boarded the train. The tears began to well up in your eyes and you bowed your head so that Peeta wouldn't see. You sniffled quietly and put a hand up to your cheek, catching a tear as it fell and wiping it away. Peeta opened the door more.
"I don't want to talk," you snapped, turning your body away from him, grabbing your blanket and wrapping it around yourself. It was nearly 70 degrees in your room, but the goosebumps that were covering your skin made you feel cold. Peeta said nothing, he just stared at you. "Please go away. I will be out when we are there."
"We are going to have to work together, you know," he said. You wanted to, but you said nothing, just continued to let yourself be comforted by the warmness of your blanket. "In the Games," he added, as if you didn't know what he had meant. You turned towards him.
"What?"
"If we both want to get out alive, I mean." You laughed, catching Peeta and yourself off guard. You didn't expect that sort of reaction to come out of you, but it did. You shook your head with a slight smile, trying to play it off as if you meant to react like that. He sat on the edge of your bed. You didn't acknowledge him. "It's possible," he said, "we can do it. We've been discussing it all afternoon." You felt your face grow hot with frustration.
"Without me?" you said, fixating on a spot on the sheet before you.
"Well, we didn't want to bother you."
"Why not?" There was a pause. You started to look at him, but he looked rigid with annoyance in your peripherals so you decided not to. You opened your mouth to repeat yourself, but he cut you off.
"Well, this is why!" he said, "you're being impossible. I don't know what I did, or Katniss did, or anyone did, really! You're just shutting yourself out and not letting anyone help you. I know you're scared, so am I...but you need to let someone help you." You looked over at him, feeling the tears well up again.
"I-" you started, but he interrupted again.
"No, you can't just go around punching through glass doors and slamming them in people's faces. Not everyone will be as understand as me and Katniss...especially not Haymitch. And definitely not Effie...if this train was alive, she would think it was a God." You smiled slightly at the thought, and then stopped immediately when you noticed his expression was still grim.
"I'm sorry," you whispered.
"What?" he said, leaning in slightly.
"I said I'm sorry." His expression lightened a little and you could feel him relax. "I don't know why I'm angry. Well, I do. But I'm not mad at you guys. I'm sorry I've been so mean."
"Come here," he said and your heart nearly leaped out of your throat as he grabbed your arms and pulled you to him, wrapping his around you and holding you close. You pressed your lips against his shoulder and breathed in his scent, wishing the moment wouldn't end. But of course it had to. And of course it had to end because of Katniss.
"Hello," she said and the two of you broke apart. Peeta turned towards her at the door.
"Hey," he said, putting a hand on your shoulder. "It's all right now." He stood up. "Are we there?" Katniss sighed.
"Yeah. We just went through the tunnel. They are expecting you two at the windows with a smile."
"Who?" you asked and she looked at you.
"The citizens." Peeta grabbed your hand and pulled you up with him.
"Come on. It'll make a good first impression." You followed behind him with a pounding head and heart, not sure what to expect when you pulled into the station. But surely it would have been anything other than what you saw. Pink and green skin, blue hair, nails as long as your fingers, eye lashes that extended well beyond what should be considered normal...these weren't people. They were cartoon characters. And it wasn't until Peeta placed a hand on the small of your back that you were able to force a smile and raise a hand to wave at the citizens that were screaming your name.
Screaming your name.
Screaming Peeta's name.
These people were excited to see you. They were excited to welcome you into their city. But it was more than that, and you knew. These people were only excited to welcome you into their city because it was where the Hunger Games were being hosted. They were excited to see you die. They were excited to only welcome one of you back onto the train, if even one of you survived. It was disgusting how the paint on their faces was cracking from them smiling so hard, and how they had their children sitting on their shoulders, desperate for a first glance of the District 12 tributes in the flesh. It bothered you that nobody seemed upset that this could be your last possible ride in a train. Your last smile for a crowd. Your last chance to have Peeta's hand on your back. Your last chance to...
And then you felt it. The soup you had eaten that afternoon, coming up. Panic rushed through your body, and you went tense against Peeta's hand. He looked over at you in confusion and you began to wish that you had thrown up earlier when Effie told you to clean your nails well. You swallowed, but your throat was too tight for it to do any good.
"Are you okay?" Peeta asked. You tried to swallow again.
"I'm gonna-" you began, but it was too late. Soon, the contents of your stomach plastered the walls and part of the window, sending the citizens back with screams of disgust. They sounded horrified, as if they had never seen such a thing happen. You began to wonder if you were the first to ever get sick.
"Come on," Peeta said, grabbing your arm as Effie, Haymitch and Katniss came around the corner looking confused, and he rushed you to the bathroom to clean you up. You sat on the toilet and leaned forward, clutching at your stomach. Peeta wet a cloth. "Are you going to be sick again?" he asked. You shook your head.
"No," you said, and no sooner had the words left your mouth, you lurched forward and released the rest of your lunch. He jumped back and then helped you to your knees beside the toilet, lifting the cover. The other three walked into the bathroom.
"What is going on?!" Effie asked.
"She got sick," Peeta said as you threw up a final time into the bowl. You leaned back and breathed out, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
"Oh no!" Effie cried, running forward and then stopping in her tracks at the sight of the mess on the floor. "Wash your hand! Hurry! We are going to be ushered off the train any minute!" Peeta took your hand and wiped it clean with the cloth he was holding. He then helped you up.
"Are we done painting the walls?" Haymitch asked sarcastically and you glared at him weakly. "Let's go." You looked at Katniss who looked genuinely worried about you, but you didn't care. You hated her. And your hate continued to grow as Peeta helped you out of the bathroom and then released your arm to take her hand. After all, you were about to be in front of the cameras, and they were supposed to be in love.
You fought the tears back and stepped off the train behind Haymitch, blinking repeatedly at the sun and becoming aware of the growling in your stomach. Great, now you were hungry. And you had to participate in the Hunger Games. You had had your last chance to eat. Unless they fed you before you went in.
You were ushered into a giant building and whisked off to a separate room than Peeta, which only made you feel more nauseous. But you were safe, there was nothing left in your stomach to come up. A few minutes went by of you being alone, and a few people walked in with different colored skin. One woman was green, and had nails like talons. The man had blue hair, and the other woman had gold tattoos all over her skin.
"Well," said the man, "at least she isn't as bad as Katniss." You said nothing, just stared at him.
"Prettier, even," said the woman with the talons.
"Much," the second woman agreed, and they set to work. It felt good having someone take care of you, and it felt even better knowing they thought you were better to look at then Katniss. It made your heart feel lighter, knowing that you could possibly have Peeta if you wanted to. Of course, if he wasn't already "in love".
As the three colorful people worked on you, they completely lost themselves in chatter about President Snow, and a birthday party that went horribly wrong, and how this year's Games was going to turn out. They all voted in your favor, but you tuned them out. You didn't care.
When they were finished, you looked flawless. Your eyebrows were perfectly shaped, your skin was completely hairless, your make up complemented your face perfectly, and your nails were manicured so well, you thought even an ice pick couldn't chip them. You smiled slightly, agreeing that you looked better than Katniss. It made you feel superior.
"What about my hair?" you asked.
"Cinna asked us to save that for last," the man said as they left the room. You stared at yourself again. You were superior. You were gorgeous. Peeta would probably fall in love with you tonight. It was too bad so many lives depended on him not doing that. You were so lost in your thoughts about stealing him from her, that you didn't hear the door open. You didn't see the man with golden eyeliner stand beside you. You didn't feel his hand on your arm. But you did hear him say your name.
You looked over in fright, having not noticed his presence at all, and your heart sunk in your chest knowing what him being here meant.
"Hi, I'm Cinna," he said.
And It was time to make an impression.
End of Chapter 3