Day Before Training

You didn't get out of bed for most of the day following opening ceremonies. The tributes were given a day to get their thoughts together before training began this year. You stared at the ceiling well into the afternoon, wondering if this was the last time you'd be able to do such a thing. Your stomach churned at the thought and then growled. You sighed, not wanting to get out of bed for anything; not even to eat.

"Jacklyn, dear," came Effie's voice from the other side of your door, "lunch is ready! Please don't skip this meal too!" Her voice was so joyful it seemed to jingle a little, if that was even possible. She was from the Capitol, practically anything was possible here.

"I'd rather starve to death," you muttered to yourself as your stomach growled again. You put your hands over it, trying to block out the noise but it forced its way through your fingers and you sighed again. Then a thought hit you: what if you could starve yourself to death? It would be a very easy out. Painful, but easy...maybe a little too easy. No. There would be no way you could pull that off. Someone from the Capitol would realize what you were doing, and suddenly 10 people would be in your face, forcing you to eat and jabbing needles in your arms to keep you alive. Tears welled into your eyes. There was no way you could escape.

You swung your legs over the side of your bed and forced yourself into a sitting position, your back popping and cracking in protest as you stood. You raised your arms above your head and stretched your muscles, leaning back and then cracking your neck on each side. You moaned in content, rubbing your shoulders, and then walked to the door, opened it and stepped into the hallway. You walked down the narrow way and down the stairs to the dining room, taking a place at the table and breathing in and out deeply. Effie looked at you.

"Where were you for breakfast?" she asked, handing you a basket of bread. You accepted it without a word.

"Sleeping," you said, although you hadn't been. There was no sleeping when you were a Tribute. You would have all the time in the world to sleep when you were dead. Which you just realized could be startlingly soon. You felt the urge to throw up, but you stuffed a roll of bread in your mouth instead to keep it from coming. You chewed for what seemed like minutes with Effie staring at you, until finally you were able to swallow the mound and pick up another before she could say anything. You went to stuff that one in your mouth as well until you realized how empty the table was. You looked around. "Where is Peeta?" you asked. Effie shrugged.

"I'm not sure," she said, "I assumed he was sleeping as well." She checked her watch. "Or perhaps he is with Katniss, she is supposed to be giving you both advice after all." Your stomach churned angrily at the sound of her name and you squeezed the bread you were holding in your hand until it was a third of its regular size. You threw it on the table. "Oh!" Effie said out of surprise. You didn't say anything for a minute, just sat there fuming. She cleared her throat. "Was there...something wrong with the bread she asked?" You breathed in deeply and then let it out with a sigh, rolling your eyes and looking at her.

"No," you said, picking it up and placing it on your plate. "I'm sorry."

"Oh good!" she exclaimed, grabbing another and taking a bite. "I ordered this from the finest place in the Capitol so it really should be just about the best thing you've ever tasted!" She continued to go on about the bread, but you weren't listening as your ears focused in on another sound. Yelling. It was coming from a few doors behind you. "Where are you going?" Effie asked as you stood up and began to move towards the sound curiously.

"Don't worry, I'm not running away if that's what you're wondering," you said sarcastically, not looking back at her.

"Oh, it would be impossible to even escape, dear," Effie said delightedly. "With all the force field and peace keepers, you know." You knew. You ignored her and kept moving towards the yelling. You were picking up a few words the closer you got, and it gave you a good idea of who you were going to find on the other side of the door. You heard your name as well as "outfit" and "weakness" and "dependent" and "targeted". You wondered what was going on. You needed to find out.

You closed in on the door with a few more swift steps and put your hand on the knob, turning it and opening the door silently. You saw Haymitch standing about a foot away from Peeta, leaning in towards him menacingly, his face red with anger. Cinna was beside the two of them with his usual calm demeanor, but you could tell by the look in his eyes that he really wanted to be the one yelling.

"I hope you know you just sealed both of your fates!" Haymitch shouted and Peeta winced as spit caught him just below the eye. You furrowed your brow in disgust and opened the door a little more. Nobody noticed.

"I-" Peeta began but Haymitch cut him off.

"You nothing!" He shouted. "All the work we've been putting into this, trying to keep this year's Tributes alive! And you're just going to throw it all away because you feel bad! Dammit, kid, you can't save everyone!" Cinna looked up at you, finally noticing you were there.

"Jacklyn," he said, putting a hand up to stop Haymitch from continuing his rant. He looked at Cinna in confusion and then over at you, breathing in and out deeply to steady himself. "Jacklyn," Cinna said again, walking towards you. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," you said as he put a hand on your shoulder. "Are you three all right?" you asked, gesturing back towards Haymitch and Peeta. Haymitch was staring at you, and Peeta was avoiding your gaze at all costs. Cinna looked back at the two of them and his grip tightened slightly on your shoulder. You could tell he was frustrated with Peeta over something. You wish you knew what.

"Everything's fine," he lied, smiling at you. "Did you get any lunch?"

"Why were you yelling at him?" you asked, unable to believe that Cinna was trying to make small talk considering the situation you had just walked in on. You were staring at Peeta, trying to get him to make eye contact with you, but he just continued to stare at the floor. He looked about ready to break down. "Why were you-"

"Come on," Cinna said, grabbing onto your arm and trying to get you to walk with him. You ripped your arm out of his grasp.

"Stop babying me!" you shouted and Effie stood up from the dining table, looking in your direction. She started to ask what was wrong, but you interrupted saying, "I'm f*cking 16 years old!" Peeta looked up at you now, never having heard you speak this way, and you were about to look back at him when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. You turned to see Katniss making her way towards you all. "And here she comes!" you said, throwing your hands in the air and turning away from the door, stomping your way back to the dining room as Katniss stopped in her tracks, confused.

"Oh no," you heard Haymitch say, "I'm not done with you." You could tell Peeta had tried to follow you, and you really wish he had. Anger flooded through you at Haymitch's words and you whipped around, running straight at the door with the intent to shove him away from Peeta and beat him into the ground. However, Cinna's arm met you halfway there and he held onto your waist to keep you from going any further. You scratched at his arms and stomped on his feet, but nothing worked. His grip remained the same.

"Let me go," you said, "and let him go!" The door had already been shut before you had made your sprint at it, but you could see through a tiny window at the top that Katniss was now in there and this infuriated you. "Shouldn't the tributes be working together?!" you asked angrily and Cinna grabbed your shoulders, turning you to look at him.

"Jacklyn," he said harshly, shaking you slightly. You fell back the earth with a painful bump, tearing your eyes away from the door and looking at him. "Are you with me?" he asked. You swallowed, looking away from him for a split second until he shook you again and you once again met his gaze. "Well?" he said.

"It's not fair," you finally said, tears spilling from your eyes. "Her and him. She doesn't even love him. She's just using him so she doesn't die!" Cinna took hold of your arm and with another glance towards the window, you could see that Haymitch was doing the same with Peeta but his grip was more forceful. He was yelling again. Katniss was trying to calm him down and this was all you had to thank her for.

"Come sit down," Cinna said, bringing you to rejoin Effie at the table.

"What in the world is going on?" she asked as you sat down, burying your face in your hands and beginning to sob. Cinna took a seat opposite you and leaned forward, rubbing your arm soothingly until your choked sobs turned into just crying. Effie didn't say another word, she just began to busy herself with her schedules. Your throat was beginning to constrict the more upset you got, and it was getting hard to breathe. You needed to move your hands from your face to get more air, but you were embarrassed to have Cinna see you in this condition.

"Jacklyn," he said for the fourth time in 10 minutes. "Stop crying." He didn't say it meanly, he said it gently. "Please." The way he had added the word 'please' at the end of his sentence reminded you of the time Peeta had asked you to sit down with you. You wished you had. You moved your hands, but looked to the right so that he couldn't see your face. He handed you a tissue. You took it and wiped your eyes.

"Thank you," you said and your voice cracked. He rested a hand on your leg.

"You're welcome." You dabbed at your eyes again as a new round of tears came and Cinna scooted his chair closer, wrapping his arms you and holding you close. But as comforted as you felt, these weren't the arms you wanted wrapped around you. You wanted Peeta. As your crying fit ended, you pulled away from him and pushed the hair away from your face that was sticking to the skin that was wet from your tears. It reminded you of when Peeta did it a couple days before and you began to cry again. Cinna sighed and patted your leg. "It's going to be okay," he said. You sniffled and coughed, holding the tissue to your nose to keep it from running and then the door opened and Haymitch walked out, followed by an upset looking Peeta and Katniss. She was holding onto his arm tightly to support him and it made your heart burst with anger. You stood up, knocking Cinna's hand aside and walked swiftly to the stairs, bumping shoulders with Haymitch along the way.

"Hey!" he shouted, "you need to stop making a habit of that!" You ignored him and ran the rest of the way to your room. When you got inside, you threw yourself in bed as you had done the night on the train and began to scream into your pillow. You screamed until you couldn't scream anymore, but this time you didn't pass out. Lightheaded, you pulled your face away so that you could breathe.

"Jacklyn," Cinna was saying at you door. "Please open up."

"Just go away!" you said, "I'm fine, I just want to be alone!"

"You haven't eaten lunch!" said Effie and you were about ready to whip open your door, grab her by her powdered neck and shake the life out of her. You were so tired of being bossed around. You had never felt this angry before. You had never been this angry before. It was as if being chosen for the games and being around Katniss had changed everything about you.

"Come on, let's just leave her be," Cinna said and you heard their footsteps move away from the door. "No, Peeta," he said and your stomach leaped into your throat, "no company for her right now." Your stomach sank, but it wasn't a bad feeling...you really didn't want to see him either. You let yourself drift off to sleep. You dreamed of yelling, screaming, Peeta, Katniss, Haymitch, Cinna, Effie and a giant watch that resembled the one she carried around. All 8 things were closing in on you as you sat huddled in a corner, defenseless, and it caused you to wake up screaming while bolting upright in bed.

"Are you okay?" someone said at the foot of your bed and you jumped, looking towards them. It was Peeta. You breathed in and out deeply, moving the hair from your eyes and looking at your alarm clock. It was 6am. You looked back at him, saying nothing. He sighed. "I didn't know if you wanted to get breakfast and go down to training together." Your heart constricted in your chest.

Training.

And so it began.

End of Chapter 5