The interviews

You cringed at the sight of yourself in the mirror, when your prep team finished with your make up and Cinna finished helping you into your outfit. It was so beautiful that it was hideous. You just wanted to rip it off and tear it to shreds. But at the same time, you wanted the world to see you in it and you were excited to show it off.

"It's a little flashy," you said as Cinna stood behind you, his hands on your shoulders, "don't you think?" He smiled. He flicked the end of one of your curls and it bounced off your shoulder lightly. You smiled at the beauty of it. You did look stunning.

"It's very flashy," he said. "Don't you want to stand out?" You smiled and nodded, admiring the length of you. You began to wonder what Peeta would think. It was a red dress. Silver jewels. Floor length and form-fitting. You couldn't go wrong with this. But there seemed something wrong with it, and you had to question it.

"I thought you were trying to make me look weak?" you asked, looking at Cinna. "Shouldn't I be wearing a pink dress and bows?" Cinna grinned.

"Well, that was our plan from the beginning," he said, "but our good friend Peeta spoiled that for us. He is determined to make you look like the strong young woman that you are. He doesn't like it when we try to change a Tribute."

"He changed last year," you said lowly, turning back to the mirror, "falling 'in love' with that Katniss girl." Cinna put a hand on your shoulder again. You met his gaze. He was smiling.

"Another reason I chose this outfit." Your heart lifted inside your chest and you looked back towards the mirror, satisfied with Cinna's reply. There was no way that Peeta could look the other way with you in this dress. He was going to have to pay you all sorts of attention. Maybe he would profess his love for you on stage tonight, too.

"Maybe I'm being unfair," you said after a short pause, lost in your own selfish thoughts. "Maybe I should let Katniss have him." Cinna appeared by your side in a second.

"I love Katniss dearly," he said and your heart shriveled inside your chest, "but I don't support fake love." He half smiled, but you just stared at his reflection in the mirror blankly. "Peeta deserves someone who truly loves him. Not someone who loves him to survive." Thousands of butterflies hatched in your stomach. You smiled.

"You're right," you said. He patted your back.

"Are you ready?" he asked. The butterflies dropped dead. You shook your head.

"No," you whispered. Cinna tilted his head disappointedly.

"What happened to the can-do girl from before?" he asked. You shook your head again and shrugged. He put a hand to your back. "Come on." He led you to the room where you all had to line up and wait your turn to be called on stage. All the Tributes were there, including Peeta, who was standing on the opposite side of the room and looking around anxiously. You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking maybe it was you he was looking for. You smiled up at Cinna and he nodded approvingly. You stepped away from him and began to walk towards Peeta, a million thoughts running through your mind.

As you walked, all eyes were on you. Your cherry red lips, eyelashes so long that they made shadows dance across your cheeks, and your hair hanging elegantly in curls over your shoulders. You walked with a purpose, your arms barely swinging at your sides as you continued towards him, half-smiling. He looked towards you. Your heart shot into your throat. He stepped towards you. You reached out. But before you could make contact with him, it was Katniss's hand that was in his instead of yours and it was her that he sweeping into his arms instead of you. You stopped dead in your tracks. All the Tributes looked away.

"I'm coming out there with you," she was saying. Your stomach dropped.

"I know," Peeta said and tightened his arm around her with a smile. You felt like throwing up. Katniss must have been walking behind you as you approached Peeta. You swallowed as she put a hand on his chest and both their eyes shot to the TV screen where the Tributes from District 1 were beginning to be introduced. You stared at Katniss. She was wearing a light blue, soft cotton dress with a bow around her middle. They were making her look so innocent. She was not innocent.

"Cinna," you called out, whipping around to see if he was still there. He wasn't. You wondered if he knew what was going on. A Peace Keeper appeared at your side. He grabbed your arm.

"Please take your place in line, Ms. Richards." You looked up at him with hate in your eyes. He looked sympathetic. You swallowed and turned, walking back towards Peeta and Katniss. You felt Peeta look at you as you passed, but you avoided his eyes and lowered your head when you were standing behind them. Peeta stepped in front of you.

"Jacklyn," he said, and you heard awe in his voice. You didn't look up. "Hey, are you all right?" he asked, putting a couple fingers under your chin and lifting your head. Disgusted, you jerked your head to the right and glared at him. He looked shocked, as did Katniss.

"Don't touch me."

"Jacklyn-"

"Don't talk to me either." Peeta furrowed his brow in confusion. He stared at you with a concerned expression for a few moments, and then Katniss put a hand on his shoulder. He looked at her.

"It's no use," she whispered. "Just let her be. She's all nerves. She'll be better when it's over." anger surged inside you. You clenched your fists.

"Will I, Katniss?" you asked, looking back up. "Will I really be better?" Her and Peeta both looked back in surprise. "And better after what, may I ask? The interviews or the Games? Because you know there is only one winner, right?" She said nothing, so you finished with, "one." You stared daggers at her until there was a ripple in the line and she was forced to move forward a bit with Peeta. He was still holding onto her waist. You reached inside your dress and pulled out the Mockingjay pin. "I don't need your charity." You threw it at her. She gasped. A Peace Keeper held you against the wall. Peeta ushered Katniss farther down the line and away from you. You felt your eyes burn with tears, but you fought them back, not wanting to look weak. He let go of you and you stayed back, not wanting to be anywhere near them. It didn't matter anyways, since you were the last to go.

22 Tributes went through and then it was Peeta's turn. Peeta and Katniss. The cheers that erupted through the crowd was repulsive, and you had to force yourself to watch the screen.

"Peeta Mellark, ladies and gentleman!" Caesar Flickerman called out and a new round of cheers burst through the arena. "And of course, the lovely Miss Everdeen." You watched Caesar kiss her hand and Peeta quickly moved forward, grabbing her hand and wrenching it towards him and away from Caesar's lips. He had a playful grin on his face.

"That's my hand to kiss," he reminded Caesar. The crowd laughed.

"You are correct, I'm sorry Peeta!" Caesar chuckled, gesturing to the 2 seats beside him. "Please, sit!" They did. "So. Peeta. Tell me. How does it feel to be competing in this year's Games again?" Peeta sighed, looking out into the crowd.

"Well...it was a shock. But I'm feeling okay. I've done it before. I think I have an edge on the other Tributes."

"Oh do you now?" Caesar said and Peeta smiled. "You do know only one Tribute is going to be allowed out this year? No more star-crossed lovers business." Peeta nodded.

"Yes, I know. I won't be thinking about much in the arena except getting out, anyways. This can't be the last time I'm sitting with Katniss in this dress of hers. It's just too beautiful of a moment to never experience again." A chorus of "aww"s erupted into the air. You felt sick. You looked away from the screen, and just continued to listen.

"That's sweet," Caesar said. "Katniss, how are you feeling?"

"Worried of course," she said, "for the same reason he is. I can't imagine life without him in it. I've spent a lot of these past few days distancing myself as much as I can, and it's just impossible. Even in the steady 90 degrees I keep my room at, it's still cold. Nothing is right without him near me. I would cease to exist if he didn't win. But I know he will...I think he is being underestimated by all the other Tributes. I think they are forgetting that he has done this before." Now people were "ooh"ing at Katniss's words and it made you feel sick. You glanced back up at the screen and immediately wished you hadn't. Part of your lunch rushed back up into your throat at the sight of them kissing. You swallowed and clenched your teeth, determined to show no emotion.

"What about this other girl from District 12?" Caesar said as they broke apart, and the question immediately caught Peeta's attention. "We are all aware of the episodes she's been having. How do you think things will pan out for her in the arena?" Peeta was silent for a moment.

"She's delicate," he said quietly.

"Delicate?" Caesar said. Katniss stared at him. Peeta nodded.

"Yeah. Delicate. Things could go either way for her." He stopped talking. You furrowed your brow in anger. How dare he make you look weak in front of all of the Capitol and Tributes?! He was supposed to be helping you look strong! He just made you meat for the other Tributes. And then you remembered what you had been told at the beginning of training.

"Jacklyn!" someone hissed to the left of you and you looked over. Haymitch was running straight at you. He was not authorized in this area so you looked surprised, looking around to make sure no one was looking.

"What are you doing?!" you said.

"Shut up," he snapped, "let me talk." You glared at him but said nothing. "Peeta is making you look weak out there because Tributes go after the weak ones last." This is what you had remembered being told. You stared at him. "You need to stop showing how strong you are. It's the only way we can ensure getting you both out alive." You waited for him to say more. When he didn't, you began to speak.

"I don't need anyone looking out for me, especially not you and especially not Peeta. You probably forced him into saying that tonight. He wants me to act strong out there. He knows what he is doing."

"If Peeta didn't want to just let the world know how weak you are, he wouldn't have!" Haymitch said and there was a hint of pleading in his voice. "He's gotten to know the competition."

"So?" you said.

"So he knows what you both are up against." This registered in your head. You said nothing. He stepped closed, putting a hand on your shoulder as a peace keeper came around the corner. "For the love of everything...don't mess this up."

"Hey!" yelled the peace keeper and Haymitch threw his hands up in surrender.

"I'm going," he said, turning and walking away from you quickly. The peace keeper stopped beside you.

"Are you all right?" he asked. You said nothing. He nudged your arm with his. You looked up at him, annoyed. "I asked if you were all right." You stared at him angrily before answering.

"Yes."

"Well, it is your turn to go out." You heard cheering to your right and you looked over quickly, noticing Caesar gesturing you out onto the stage. Peeta and Katniss had already walked by you and you hadn't even noticed. You hadn't even seen how the interview had ended. With your heart beating rapidly in your chest, you walked onto the stage and were immediately greeted by another round of cheers and a beaming Caesar, extending his hand to you in kindness. You didn't take it. And you weren't going to take Haymitch's advice. You were strong. Not weak.

And you weren't going to fake it.

Caesar stared at you with a pleading smile as the crowd's cheering died away and the room fell into a deafening silence. He was still holding his hand out to you. You stared at him for a moment and then threw yourself down in the chair beside his. More silence.

"Uh," Caesar said, taking a seat beside yours and turning to face you. "Jacklyn, how are you feeling?" You said nothing. Murmuring began amongst the Capitol citizens. You ignored them and just continued to stare at Caesar. "Jacklyn? Are you feeling all right?"

"I feel fine," you snapped. He seemed taken aback by the harshness of your tone. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"How are you feeling about this year's Games? Do you think you have a chance against your fellow Tributes?" Again, you said nothing. The murmuring continued. You could feel Haymitch's anger radiating through the TV screen as you defied him in every way possible. Caesar looked out into the audience and up at President Snow. You looked up at him too. He stared silently at you. You did not look away until Caesar began to speak again. "Peeta describes you as del-"

"I'm not delicate. I'm not a flower." Peeta hadn't called you a flower in his interview, but you knew that he would have. He was always using beautiful words when he spoke. Caesar paused.

"Uh," he said, looking back at President Snow. There was a silence for at least 30 seconds. You stood up.

"Is this over then?" Caesar looked up at you, his mouth hanging open in surprise. No Tribute had ever ended an interview before it was really over.

"Uh-"

"Okay." You turned on your heel and walked off the stage, leaving behind a stunned audience and bumping shoulders with the peace keeper standing at the door. You stomped through the hallway and towards the elevators, ignoring the shocked looks of the other Tributes. You pressed the up button on the closest elevator and stood there, angrily waiting for the doors to open so you could upstairs and collapse into bed. You just wanted to be alone. You wanted everything to end. You wanted to perish before the Games even began.

How could Peeta do this to you? You were so certain that something was growing between you, that he would fall in love at the sight of you tonight, but he didn't. All you could picture in your head was him holding so tightly to Katniss and keeping her as close as he possibly could. It disgusted you to have the image burning so vividly inside your mind. You shook your head angrily, trying to run it from your head as the doors opened. You looked up, blinking rapidly and were about to step inside when someone grabbed your shoulder and whipped you around. You gasped as a hand made contact with the side of your face, hard. You stumbled backwards through the door, pressing a hand to your face. Your back hit the wall and you looked up, expecting to see Haymitch before you. But that's not who was there, looking more furious than you had ever seen him before.

It was Peeta.

And he already looked ready to murder.

End of Chapter 9