AN: I am unreliable.

Chapter 4 - rated T, posted 08.07.12

Ryan was confused.
He could have sworn that he gave everyone in the glee club a task to advertise the club.
And yet, here he was in the hallway, staring at a blank wall where there should be posters, listening to the everyday hustle and bustle of the school where there should be music and smelling the unpleasant odour of the bulky jock across the corridor when he should be smelling cookies.
Because cookies never fail to entice people into doing what they don't yet realise they want to do.

He made a mental note to bake Quinn some cookies and strode into the choir room.

"Why are there no posters up?" Ryan asked the assembled club members.

"You needs to stop calling emergency club meetings, Berry. Me and Britts were at Cheerios practice."

"Cheerios practice ended three hours ago." Mercedes stated.

"Whatever, Wheezy, some of us like to keep in shape."

Brittany nodded her head.
"Yeah! San was helping me work on my stretches."

Puck leered.
"I bet she was. How many legs can you put behind your neck?"

"Three." Brittany replied and it took the mohawked boy a few seconds to understand.
He didn't get much of a chance to enjoy the information because Santana punched him in the face.

"Tina, Artie," Ryan carried on with his bitching "why isn't the school filled with the sound of an amazing original composition?"

"W-w-w-w-we…we…c-c-c -"

"We couldn't write the song, Ryan." Artie interrupted the stuttering girl and she nodded.

"Why not? I understand that you may have been under a little pressure and might feel that you could never live up to my enormous talent but that's no excuse for just giving up! Think of the club! Think of the school! Think of the ch -"

"We just couldn't, ok!" Tina shouted. They stared.

"Mike? Matt?" Ryan prompted.

"Ah, well, you see…" Mike started "We were going to use our awesomeness to entice the ladies into the club but Matt here decided that it would be a more productive use of our gifts to flirt with the chick at the videogame store to get some sweet trading cards!" he said excitedly while waving said cards in the air.
They weren't even Pokémon cards.
What the Hell is Ophidian?

"Mercedes? Kurt?" Ryan sighed.

"Oh Hell no! Don't you even get me started, boy. You don't even know how…"
Kurt tuned out the rest of the diva's rant. Do zombies fall in love? Is it with other zombies? Humans? Society would never accept them! How romantic! The ultimate Romeo and Juliet!

"Puck?"

"Oh yeah. The ladies were diggin' it." he smirked "All. Night. Lo -"

"Brittany? Santana?"

Santana's reply was a simple 'Didn't wanna.' while Brittany proceeded to recount the tale of her epic adventure to the bemused club.

"…but I think there's something going on between O'Brien and Syme. Anyway, they said no but then Finn had a super idea and we did that and then I went back to the park but it was dark and the guy who lives on the bench gave me a dollar to buy us both popcorn but they don't sell popcorn in the park so I had to walk four blocks and -"

"Hey, where is Finn anyway?" Mercedes asked.
The others looked around as if they expected to find him in the room.
They looked to Brittany who shrugged.

"Ok, I think that's enough for this morning. I expect everyone to have -"
Ryan was cut off by a chorus of loud "Yeah, whatever, Berry"s and "Later, dude"s.
Quinn stood and laughed at Ryan's expression as he escorted him out of the room and in the direction of their class.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

Quinn was spending too much time around Ryan, he decided.
He was starting to think that he'd picked up the boy's alleged 'psychic' abilities.
He just couldn't shake the bad vibe he'd been feeling all day.
Like something big was going to happen.
Something that would mess up everything.

It didn't really hit him until he was sat in the auditorium with the glee club as Mr. Schuester babbled from the stage.
A loud bang interrupted the teacher's weird nostalgia rant and two figures stood in the doorway.
One strode into the room as the other trailed behind.

"Jessie St. James." the figure announced "It's your pleasure to make my acquaintance."

"Hot." both Puck and Brittany mumbled.

"This is Sam." Jessie introduced the blonde "We're joining this club."

Sam smiled lightly and waved.

"That's awesome, guys!" Schue shouted "Welcome aboard! Now if you could just -"

"I will be claiming the title of leading lady as my talent and drive simply cannot be topped. I assume there are no objections…?"

"Hell no! Who does this bitch think she is! Strolling on in here and -"
Kurt placed a hand on the diva's arm.
He'd so make a much better leading lady than either of these…girls.

And then the magical band started up and happened to play the exact song that Jessie wanted.
She strutted across the stage, smirking at her audience.

"What's the time?
Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It say, 'Time for danger'

It says 'I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
With a stranger'"

She winked at Puck, whose head fell off the back of his seat as he groaned.

"I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the game
Get-up life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance it the flames

We don't need any money
I always get in for free
You can get in too
If you get in with me

Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight

You wanna play?
Let's run away
We wont be back
Before it's New Years Day
Take me out tonight"

She directed her next teasing flirt at Quinn, who just raised an eyebrow.

"Meow"

She jumped down from the stage and ran her fingers over the buttons of his shirt while grinning salaciously before stalking off to one of the other boys.

"When I get a wink from the doorman
Do you know how lucky you'll be?
That your on line with the feline of
Avenue B

Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight

You wanna prowl
Be my night owl?
Well take my hand we're gonna"

She took Mike's hand for a moment before belting out the next line.

"Howl
Out tonight"

Here, she sat in Matt's lap and sung softly to him as he glanced at Mike, who just gave the flustered boy a thumbs up and a grin.

"In the evening I've got to roam
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome
Feels to damn much like home
When the Spanish babies cry"

She made her way back onto the stage.

"So let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
And all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die

Let's go out tonight
Have to go out tonight

You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take me out tonight

Please take me
Out tonight
Don't forsake me - out tonight
I'll let you make me - out tonight
Tonight - tonight - tonight"

She dropped her head as the song came to a close.
The auditorium was silent for a few seconds before Mr. Schuester erupted into loud applause.

"Fantastic! Of course you're in! Both of you!" he beamed.
No-one bothered to mention that Sam hadn't sung at all.
Clearly, it wasn't all that essential.

"Now who is your lead male?" Jessie demanded.

Puck stood from his seat and dragged his eyes over her body.
"At your service. And I mean service." he waggled his eyebrows.
She scoffed and brushed him off, leaving him to slink back to his chair where Mercedes laughed at him.

Ryan climbed onto the stage and the two eyed each other for a long while before Jessie seemed satisfied and the band started up again.
The psychic band.
Hey! Maybe Quinn should join!

Jessie started.

"You are sunlight and I moon
Joined by the gods of fortune
Midnight and high noon
Sharing the sky
We have been blessed, you and I"

Then Ryan sang.

"You are here like a mystery
I'm from a world that's so different
From all that you are
How in the light of one night
Did we come so far?"

And then everyone tuned them out.
Except for Quinn.
He was staring with narrowed eyes at the couple on stage proclaiming their love for each other.

"And we meet in the sky!"

And then Quinn tuned out too.
Musicals are stupid.
Why couldn't they just do a pop song or something?

Jessie and Ryan were locked in an epic stare-down.
The music had stopped at some point.
Quinn had been too busy glaring to notice.

Suddenly, Jessie nodded.
Ryan nodded back.
They exchanged phones in silence before the confused glee club.

A sigh.
Quinn turned to see the blonde girl, Sam, sitting beside him.
"She's always like this." the girl commented.

"Like what?" Quinn asked, confused.

"Crazy." Sam smiled "At least she found her leading man quickly this time. Last time was a mess."

Quinn raised a questioning eyebrow.

"She's obsessed with Broadway."
Sounds like someone Quinn knows."She insists that she needs a leading man to star alongside her in the epic romance that is her life."

"…Epic…romance?" Quinn almost whimpered.

"Hmm," Sam replied "they'll be dating before the end of the day. Singing impromptu musical numbers by last bell."

…Dating?
…musical numbers?
Quinn was silent.

"She's persistent. It's better to just leave her be and wait for her to decide there's not enough drama and find something more…Broadway." Sam explained.

Meanwhile, Mr. Schuester was giving out another stupid assignment. Sam asked if Quinn would be her partner.
Seeing Ryan and Jessie furiously discussing song choices across the room, Quinn agreed.
Why not? Sam seemed nice.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"Quiiiiinnn!" Ryan whined as he tugged on the blonde boy's sleeve.

"Ryyyyaaaannn!" Quinn laughingly replied.

"You promised!" the singer pouted.

"I did no such thing!"

"But…I -"

"Relax, Berry, I'll help you." Quinn sighed and stood before the boy. "If it's even possible."

Ryan swatted at Quinn's arm as the blonde laughed.
Quinn stood back and studied the boy before wandering over to his cupboards and digging around in the clothes.
He returned with a hefty pile which he dumped onto his bed beside Ryan and pulled him to his feet.

"Take this off." he demanded, gesturing to the singer's jumper, making him blush.

He hadn't expected the brunette to show up at his door that evening with a batch of cookies and a beaming smile.
He thought Ryan would be spending time with that Broadway bitch, singing about their inevitable, amazing love.
But Ryan had waltzed up to his room and demanded that Quinn follow through with his promise to make him "cool".

"What's wrong with my sweater?" Ryan asked.

"Ryan," Quinn sighed "as much as I enjoy your…quirky sense of style," and, gosh, did Quinn enjoy that stupid jumper "you asked me to make you cool. As in 'socially acceptable'. So take off the sweater. And the shirt. And - you know what? Just take it all off."

"What?" Ryan squeaked.

"We have to start from the base up, Ryan. You can't build a house without a solid foundation. What kind of underwear do you wear?"

"You -" Ryan almost said that Quinn knows what kind of underwear he wears because he'd had his hand in there not four weeks ago.
But they weren't talking about that.
No. They couldn't. Because Quinn had some kind of phobia of just fucking talking about what he wanted instead of expecting people to give it to him.
Fuck! It was so fucking frustrating!
But Ryan smiled and said "I think you have a lot to teach me, master." which made Quinn laugh and turn a funny colour.

Before Quinn could get started on Ryan's coolness makeover, Ryan jumped to his feet.
"Quinn! I have the perfect song for this!"

"We don't need a song, Ryan."
Ryan looked appalled at the suggestion and bounced over to Quinn's laptop.

When the opening lines played, Quinn burst into laughter.
"Berry!" he gasped "You can't possibly be serious!"

Ryan looked at him as if to say 'fucking try me, blondie' and grabbed the boy's hand.

"Jump in any time, Fabray." Ryan smirked and Quinn shivered slightly.

"But this song is for a -"

"And even in your case,
though it's the toughest case I've yet to face,
don't worry, I'm determined to succeed!"

Ryan sang in a high-pitched voice.

"Follow my lead,
and yes indeed, you will be…"

He gestured to Quinn, who sighed out a chuckle and sang along in his normal, deeper voice.

"POPULAR! You're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper ploys,
when you talk to boys,"

Both flushed slightly but continued. Ryan now used his normal singing voice to harmonise with Quinn.

"little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!
I'll show you what shoes to wear!
How to fix your hair!
Everything that really counts to be...

POPULAR! I'll help you be popular!
You'll hang with the right cohorts,
you'll be good at sports,
know the slang you've got to know.
So let's start,
'cause you've got an awfully long way to go!

Don't be offended by my frank analysis,
think of it as personality dialysis,
now that I've chosen to become a
pal, a sister and advisor,
there's nobody wiser!
Not when it comes to...

POPULAR! I know about popular.
And with an assist from me,
to be who you'll be,
instead of dreary who you were...uh, are.
There's nothing that can stop you,
from becoming popular... lar…"

Quinn laughed as Ryan sang the next part in his high, girl voice.

"La la, la la!
We're gonna make you pop-u-lar!"

Quinn joined back in after pulling Ryan's jumper off him.

"When I see depressing creatures,
with unprepossessing features,
I remind them on their own behalf
to - think - of
celebrated heads of state,
or specially great communicators!
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!

They were POPULAR!
Please! It's all about popular.
It's not about aptitude,
it's the way you're viewed,
so it's very shrewd to be,
very, very popular like ME!"

Quinn had managed to remove Ryan's shirt while he was dancing around and he was completely topless when Quinn spoke the next line to him.

"Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you. You're beautiful!"

"I, I have to go…" Ryan replied.

They stopped singing and listened to the track play in the background as they stood, toe-to-toe, breathing each other's air.

"You're welcome…
And though you protest,
your disinterest,
I know clandestinely,
you're gonna grin and bear it!
You're new found popularity!
Ah!
La la, la la!
You'll be popular!
Just not quite as popular as ME!"

Fuck! Kiss him!
He's right there!
Kiss him! Kiss him! Kisshimkisshimkisshim!
NOW!

"Try this shirt on."

COWARD!

Ryan frowned for a second.
"Didn't you just say that we had to start from the beginning?"

"Um…yeah…uh…just…you can…"

Ryan shrugged and put on the shirt, covering his gorgeously toned torso from Quinn as the blonde punched himself in the face inside his head.

Eventually, they managed to get Ryan looking rather dashing in Quinn's clothes after a few near-disasters involving Ryan without trousers, Quinn discovering what kind of underwear Ryan wore, Quinn having flashbacks to the last time he saw said underwear and Ryan almost calling Quinn out on his very obvious erection.

But, all-in-all, it went well and when Ryan left later that evening, Quinn fond himself feeling oddly content despite all of the drama that seemed to follow him around.

He went to sleep with a smile on his face.
And a hand in his pants because, really, you have no idea how tight that underwear was.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"Ok, kid, let's see it." the gruff man sighed.

"Thanks, mister!" Finn grinned and passed the tape over.

Six minutes later, Finn found himself standing outside the television studio, tape in hand, waiting for his mother to come and get him.

Maybe it was to high-brow for them, he thought. After all, they are just a local news station.
He had to remember to google directions to Hollywood. They'd love it for sure!
Maybe they'd even make a feature film out of it or something!

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"Hey, San," Brittany whispered when she'd finished doodling a rainbow on her Spanish test "does the new girl kinda remind you of Rachel?"

The Latina turned to look at her.
"Who's Rachel?" she asked.

"Wait," the blonde answered "which universe is this?"

Santana didn't have an answer.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"We should date." Jessie stated as they sat in the choir room, arranging music.

Ryan looked up from his papers.
"Jessie, as much as I find you to be the perfect leading woman, I'm afraid I must decline on the grounds that -"

"It doesn't have to be real." she interrupted easily "I've seen how the school sees this club. We could change that. With my talent, drive and all-around brilliance and your talent, drive and new-found fashion sense," she gestured to his borrowed 'cool' outfit "we could become the new power couple. We could rule this school. Then the glee club would become successful and we'd win hearts along with trophies."

Ryan thought for a long while before agreeing to her plan.
He just had to find Quinn and explain it to him.
He didn't want to jeopardise their…whatever they had going on.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"…and then you just rub until she stops you. But I don't need to tell you that, Q, you know all about pleasing the ladies. Am I right?" Puck waggled his eyebrows disgustingly.

"Um…that's not what I asked you, Puck." Quinn replied, queasy.

"Yeah but it's what you meant, right?"

No, it wasn't. He's only asked how to tell someone you like them but the boy had taken that to mean 'How do you get a girl to let you sleep with her, then convince her to let you do terrible, sickening things to her and then make her enjoy it'.

Quinn just walked away.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"Have you seen Quinn?"

"Shove it, Berry, I'm trying to gets my mack on."

"Be nice, San."

"Don't talk, Britt, it ruins the thing you've got going with your tongue."

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"…but he decided that he was - and I quote - 'Too straight for that'. Can you believe it! Now I'm a strong believer that anyone can be a little bit gay with the right amount of persuasion and alcohol but he was definitely not just a part-time fairy! That boy was full-on, hard-core, glitter-coated and bedazzled, capital G Ga -"

"Kurt! Please! This really isn't helping!" Quinn pleaded.

"Oh, yes, well…what was your question again?"

Quinn sighed.
"Never mind. It doesn't matter."

"Oh, ok then. See you later, Quinn." the boy chirped.

When the blonde was out of sight, Kurt smirked.
So…Quinn, huh?
Maybe show choir really does make you gay.

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

"Carry my books." Jessie instructed Ryan, who nodded and took said books.
"Now kiss me."

"What? No! I -"

"On the cheek."

"Oh! Right." he said and placed a light kiss on the girl's cheek before escorting her to her class.

But we all know how this goes, right?
Quinn was watching.
Of course he was!
It wouldn't be drama if he wasn't.
And - you guessed it - he freaked the fuck out.

Bloody typical.

Songs: Out Tonight - RENT, Sun and Moon - Miss Saigon, Popular - Wicked.

AN: Jessie and Sam are girls. Just in case I didn't make that clear. I just thought 'why not?' y'know?
Also, this editor thingy cut out some of my words. Like, mid-sentence. Please point out any parts that don't make sense fo I can fix them.