By the time Friday rolled around, things had taken a turn for the worse and Allison knew she was going to have to cancel her plans with Steve. Part of her was relieved due to the fact that she hadn't really wanted to talk to him in the first place, but the other part felt bad because she knew how important this was for their family. However, despite her internal struggle, she quickly came to the conclusion that cancelling was the only thing she could do.
"Hey, how are you?" Steve answered his phone almost immediately after Allison had hit call.
"That's actually why I'm calling," Allison said, trying to fight through the throbbing in her head as Sawyer's cries filled the house once again. "I'm gonna need to take a raincheck on our dinner tonight."
"What? Why?" Steve asked, his voice immediately giving away his disappointment.
"Because," Allison started as she balanced her phone against her shoulder before picking Sawyer up. "I'm sick. Really sick. I have the flu and I gave it to Sawyer."
"Oh," Steve's voice was quiet. "My mom's gonna be pretty sad. She was looking forward to spending some time with Sawyer."
"I know. I'm sorry," Allison felt herself tear up. She knew it was silly, but with Sawyer screaming in her ear, her head pounding and her stomach churning, feeling guilty about keeping a grandmother away from her grandson was just a little too much. "But Sawyer's hardly stopped crying since yesterday morning, my head feels like it's about to explode and I just need to try and get him comfortable so we can both sleep."
"Hey, hey, don't cry." Steve instructed gently. "That's fine. My mom can see Sawyer anytime, but you don't have to do this by yourself. Why don't I come over and take care of Sawyer so you can take care of yourself? I'll even stop and get take out on the way so we'll still get our dinner."
Allison sighed with relief as Sawyer finally stopped screaming, quieting down to a simple whimper.
"I would really appreciate that," Allison admitted. "But you don't have to worry about the take out, I can't keep anything down."
Steve chuckled quietly.
"Okay, I'll be there in twenty minutes." He promised before saying a quick goodbye.
When Steve arrived at Allison's house he was almost deafened by Sawyer's screams. He quickly threw the bag of take out onto the coffee table before scooping his son up out of his little swing.
"Hey buddy, its okay." Steve said, gently rocking the baby that immediately clung to his shirt. "I hear you're not feeling so great? But don't worry, you'll be better soon and I bet mommy's taking real good care of you. Any idea where she is?"
Sawyer had quieted considerably, obviously comforted simply by being in his father's arms and hearing his voice. Steve's focus had now turned to why Allison had left Sawyer alone in such a panic and where she was now.
"Ally?" He called out, loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough to not disturb his son. There was no reply, but as he carried Sawyer up the stairs the distant sound of retching tipped him off to her location.
With a sigh, he pushed open the bathroom door and as suspected, found Allison in a heap beside the toilet.
"I'm sorry," She croaked out, tearing up once again. "I didn't want to leave him by himself, but I couldn't help it."
"Don't worry about it. He was fine." Steve assured her. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm so sick," She whined. "I don't even know where I could've picked this up. I hardly go anywhere!"
Steve extended his hand to help her up off the floor.
"Who knows. You could've gotten it anywhere." He said as Sawyer started to fuss again. The sound caused Allison to wince slightly and Steve smiled. "Why don't you go put a movie on or something and I'll try and get Sawyer to sleep."
Allison nodded and slowly dragged herself out of the bathroom.
Almost forty-five minutes later, Steve had finally managed to get Sawyer to sleep and quietly snuck down the stairs, baby monitor in hand.
"You won't need that," Allison piped up from her spot on the couch when she saw him. "The way he's been screaming lately the neighbours can probably even hear when he wakes up."
Steve laughed as he sat next to her.
"I'm guessing it's been rough?"
"Really rough," Allison nodded. "But I feel so bad for him. He just doesn't get why he feels so awful. And I feel awful for making him feel that way."
Steve reached out and put a hand on Allison's knee, squeezing it comfortingly.
"It's not your fault, Ally. And he'll be better in no time." Steve assured her. "So, what movie are we watching?"
"We're not," Allison said with a sigh. "We were going to talk over dinner, so we may as well talk anyway. I know it's important."
"Are you sure?" Steve asked. "If you don't feel up to it, I don't mind waiting."
"No, it's fine. We can talk now." She insisted.
Steve simply nodded, but stayed quiet, unsure of where to start.
"I was upset about losing you when you left, it wasn't just about Sawyer," He blurted out after a few minutes of silence. "I need you to know that and that I'm still upset. I miss you."
Allison looked down at her hands.
"Then who was that woman?" She asked quietly, not sure she'd want to know the answer.
"A mistake." Steve said firmly. "We met in the navy and had a...thing a while ago. She was in town and we got carried away. I'd take it back if I could."
"Is that all I was too?" Allison's voice was still quiet. "Just a mistake?"
"No! God, no. Of course not." Steve insisted. "Allison, I love you."
"But do you really?" Allison's tone turned harsh. "You broke my heart, Steven. Twice now! And instead of really doing anything to try and get me back, you fuck some girl you used to have a 'thing' with!"
"You made it pretty clear that I had no chance of getting you back, that's the only reason I agreed to see Catherine at all!" Steve defended himself.
"I shouldn't take you back," Allison told him. "How many chances do you deserve?"
"The first time I left it was to protect you from what I thought was a stalker and the second time it was to try and give us a chance at being a normal family."
"Well that one backfired!" Allison snapped. "You left me a fucking letter, Steven. I can't even begin to explain how selfish that was and how much it hurt me."
"Selfish? You wanna talk about selfish?" Steve said, his temper rising as well. "I'd say keeping my son away from me because you're holding a grudge is pretty damn selfish."
"I'm not keeping him away! You can see him whenever you want!"
"But I can't get over here much because of my work schedule," Steve reminded her, trying to calm his tone. "If I lived with him, I'd get to see him a lot more."
"I'm not going to take you back just for Sawyer," Allison said, calming herself as well. "That's not a good reason to be in a relationship and it's not a healthy way to raise a child."
"It wouldn't just be for Sawyer, Ally. We both love each other," Steve insisted. "And I know that we have issues and I know I'll have to earn your trust back, but I still want us to be that normal family."
"Oh god," Allison groaned as another wave of nausea came on. However, this time she wasn't sure whether it came from the flu or the sincerity in Steve's voice.
Slightly happy for an excuse to leave their conversation, Allison leapt of the couch and ran to the bathroom, making it just in time to empty her stomach into the toilet for what felt like the millionth time that day. Much to her surprise, Allison felt familiar hands pulling her hair back and out of her face and comfortingly rubbing her back. Once she was done, he once again helped her up, but this time managed to trap her between his body and the counter.
"Thanks," Allison said quietly, not sure what he was doing.
"No problem," Steve replied, his voice quiet as well. "I like taking care of you."
"Well you've always been good at it," She admitted, thinking back to when she was pregnant. "All those times I had morning sickness, you were always there."
"And all the three AM cravings that absolutely couldn't wait until a reasonable time, they had to be satisfied immediately."
"You always went out to get me whatever I wanted, even if you had to work early the next day." Allison smiled at the memory.
"Because I love you," Steve quietly reminded her. "I shouldn't have left without talking to you first. I'm sorry. But I want to make it right. I want you back, Ally."
"I don't know, Steve." Allison sighed. "Everything's so complicated now..."
"Please?" Steve's voice had a hint of desperation, something that Steve didn't usually show and Allison could feel herself losing the fight.
"Why don't we start with dinner?" Allison suggested hesitantly after a few moments of deliberation. "We can reschedule for when I can keep food down and finish our conversation."
Steve's face lit up at the thought of being offered another chance.
"Seriously?" Allison nodded and Steve pulled her tight against his chest. "Thank you."
"Just don't make me regret it," She mumbled, closing her eyes as the exhaustion finally caught up with her.
"I won't," Steve assured her before kissing the top of her head.
As they stood in the bathroom enjoying the familiar comfort of being in each other's arms, Allison could feel herself drifting off to sleep. Her relaxation was short lived though as Sawyer's cries filled the house once again.
"Fuck," Allison groaned before pulling herself away from Steve.
"I got it," Steve told her as they walked out of the room. "You go to bed and get some rest, I'll stay here tonight, on the couch of course, and look after Sawyer."
"Are you sure? You've been at work all day..."
"He's my responsibility too, Ally," He reminded her. "And you need to sleep if you want to get better anytime soon."
Allison smiled and breathed a sigh of relief at the thought of getting a full night's sleep for once. After a quick and slightly awkward goodnight hug was exchanged, Allison hurried to bed, wanting to make the most of her night free of parenting responsibility.
Authour's note: SORRY! I've been busy with work lately and unfortunately still going through some shitty things in my personal life which makes it hard to write. And I know these are lame excuses no one wants to hear. Haha. I fired this one out pretty late last night so I hope its not TOO bad :S and I will try to update more regularly! :)