A/N: Sorry about the really long wait for this chapter everyone! Particularly to the lovely mebh, who this fic is for. As usual there's no real excuse, I'm just slow. At the suggestion of my wonderful beta, Antigone Rex, I've decided to make this story 4 chapters long instead of 3 so we've got one more chapter to go after this.

Thanks to Antigone for all the help and encouragement she's given me these last few weeks. As usual, I do not own FMA and all that. Hope you enjoy the story!

The room was unnaturally quiet; Riza's gentle breathing the only sound to disturb the stillness. She lay on her makeshift bed, arms by her sides and legs straight, as if laid out for burial, a ring of candles casting sickly, flickering light over her skin. She had only a thin, tattered blanket to cover her but she did not shiver. Nor did she twitch or mumble or turn in her bed: none of the natural movement of a living, sleeping person. Nothing but that soft, incessant breathing, never varying in speed or depth; almost too quiet to hear yet somehow cacophonous in the tiny space.

Ed watched from the doorway, hardly daring to make a sound. He started as Havoc came up behind him, moving softly as they had all learnt to do when near this particular room. "He's been there for nearly ten hours straight now." Havoc gestured towards the bed where Mustang knelt, gazing at Hawkeye's motionless form, diagrams and drawings scattered around him in an obsessive, desperate array. Ed was sure he was aware of the presence of his silent watchers at the doorway but he made no movement to acknowledge their arrival. They were simply not important to him. "I tried to suggest that he get some rest but he won't hear of it. He just spends all his time staring at her, when he's not working on that damn array."

Ed nodded, never taking his eyes away from the scene before him. In the week since Hawkeye had been bitten they had made it their business to never let Mustang out of their sight for longer than a few minutes. It was an implicit, unspoken agreement among Mustang's core people but one that was understood by all those who shared their shelter, ever since the truth about Hawkeye's condition had eventually been explained. Even those who had never known him from before, who had seen him only ever as the fire-wielding saviour who rescued them from the clutches of the creatures, could recognise the darkness in him now.

Finally Ed spoke, his words as muted as Havoc's, mindful of the man who sat not six feet away from them. "He believes that array can save us all."

"Can it?"

Ed shrugged, a gesture that spoke of hope long since abandoned. "Perhaps. But I can't imagine how. The energy that would be required to destroy all those creatures... it'd take a Philosopher's Stone or something close to it."

Havoc sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face. "I don't know much about alchemy, but I know Marco said that the stone that the boss used to fix my legs and eyes was the last one in Amestris." He closed his eyes, suddenly looking far older than his thirty-two years. "There's no way out of any of this, is there?"

Ed opened his mouth to reply but jumped at the sound of hammering on the door at the other end of the room. Images flashed in his mind of catastrophe, of invading hoards of creatures or unknown terrors. Everyone knew by now never to disturb Mustang.

"Let us in!" A voice called. Ed recognised it; Anna, one of the first people they had rescued and an amateur alchemist. Her voice was loud and strident, sounding angry rather than panicked. Ed didn't know whether that was a good thing or not. "We want to speak to Mustang!"

"About what?" Havoc called back, his eyes darting towards the room where Mustang still sat, unmoving, staring at Riza. "We've already said, unless it's an emergency, please don't come up here."

"Why not?" Anna shouted back. The knocking on the door grew louder until it seemed as if the crowd might burst through the thin wooden boards or destroy the fragile barrier altogether. "So the legendary general can just sit alone for days on end, staring at that lieutenant of his, not doing anything to help anyone else? She's already lost! Give up on her! It's the rest of us you should be worrying about. We're running out of food, no one's been able to go outside since lieutenant Hawkeye got bitten and if this carries on we'll be starving soon! There are small children here!"

Almost as if on cue, the cry of a baby rang out through the walls, a helpless wail that spoke of hunger and weeks of confused, primal terror. Ed hung his head, trying to block out the sound. He thought of Winry, four months pregnant when he'd left her for Central, thinking he would be only a few weeks away on business. How quickly things had spiralled out of control. Winry would be almost ready to give birth now. Would he ever get to see his baby? Or would he only have succeeded in bringing another fatherless child into the world?

With effort, Ed brought his mind back to the present moment, to the tiny, darkened room where he stood, helpless, as always. "Look, I know it's difficult," Havoc was saying. The door was opened now, only halfway, enough so Ed could see Anna staring past him, her dark eyes angry and accusing. There was a crowd of people gathered around her, all with the same lean, hungry, shadow-haunted gaze. "But we just have to trust General Mustang. He's working on an array that will get us all out of here. He'll be able to save us from these creatures, I know he will." Havoc's voice was calm, steady, but Ed thought he detected a desperate note in there, some hidden current of doubt. Anna was quick to seize upon it.

"Trust General Mustang, trust General Mustang... that's all you people ever seem to say now." She stepped further into the room despite Havoc's attempts to stop her. Ed found himself moving closer to the open doorway at the end of the room, trying to block Lieutenant Hawkeye from Anna's prying gaze. Her voice had taken on an almost mocking tone now, and Ed could hear murmurs of agreement growing louder behind her. "When're you going to realise that he's not perfect, this beloved general of yours; that he isn't always right? Sure, Mustang might have brought us all together, and I think no one here will deny that he helped us in the beginning, but now? We've got almost no supplies left and the creatures are getting closer every day, and what's he doing? Shutting himself away with that woman that he doesn't even have the decency to admit should already be dead!"

Anger rose inside Ed, threatening to boil over. Mustang was the only reason any of them were alive now, did she not realise that? He had brought himself to the brink of exhaustion every day working to keep these people safe and provided for and now, when he needed their support most, they turned against him. As for Hawkeye... memories of the lieutenant flashed through his mind; her kindness, her loyalty, her rare, quiet smile. To hear her spoken of in such a way was almost more than he could take.

Ed stepped forward, ready to voice his anger but stopped when a hand rested lightly on his arm, holding him back. Without saying a word, Mustang moved forward, the angry whispers of the crowd falling silent when they saw him. He moved, trance-like and slow, brushing past Havoc to stand face to face with Anna. A look of fear crossed the dark haired woman's face, a momentary falter before her defences returned.

"What were you saying about my lieutenant, Anna?" Mustang's voice was calm and he spoke softly but as the light caught the side of his face, Ed had to force himself not to take a step back. His face, already pale and shadowed by hunger and exhaustion was twisted into something almost demonic. "She found you, if I remember, hiding with your children behind a pile of rubble, creatures surrounding you on all sides. You would be dead if it weren't for her."

"I will always be grateful to Lieutenant Hawkeye for rescuing us," Anna's voice was shaking, but she refused to back down. "But the woman who saved me and my family died the day that creature bit her."

"Don't say that." Mustang spat, a slight tremor in his voice. "Don't you dare say that."

"But it's true!" Anna shouted. "Why can't you see it? Why can't any of you see it?" Her eyes darted around the room, searching Ed and Havoc's faces for any sign of sympathy. Ed looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "You've been hiding away in that room for over a week now," Anna continued. "And what have you achieved? Lieutenant Hawkeye's still dying, those creatures are still on the loose and we're still all shut here unable to even go outside. You keep promising us an array, but where is it? If this continues, we're all going to starve to death and it'll be your fault!"

Mustang lurched forward, grabbing Anna's collar, his face inches from her own. Ed glanced at Havoc but the older man shook his head, the warning clear in his eyes. Do not interfere.

"I owe you people nothing." Mustang hissed. He backed Anna up against the wall, her head inches away from that lantern's open flame. The flickering light cast ghastly shadows across the scene, betraying Mustang's shaking hands and Anna's wide, terrified eyes. "If you're so unhappy here, then why not leave? See how long you'd last out there against the creatures! Go on, I won't stop you!" He let her go, pushing her back towards the door with startling force before collapsing against the wall, his head hitting the bare stone. The entire room was silent, all eyes watching Mustang. The man was clearly in the midst of some great struggle, his eyes closed and an expression close to anguish shadowing his exhausted features. Terror twisted in Ed's heart at the sight. Just what secrets was Mustang keeping from them?

"I have an array," The words were spoken so softly as to be almost a whisper but they echoed in the confines of the tiny room. "It's nearly ready; I should be able to activate it tonight. It'll destroy all the creatures." Mustang's head slumped forward, his eyes hidden behind the fall of his hair. "Just another few hours and you'll all be free. That's what you wanted, isn't it, Anna?"

Anna looked up, glancing at Havoc in desperation. She opened her mouth to reply but stopped when Havoc shook his head. All of her anger was gone now and Ed couldn't help but feel sorry for her, despite the cruel things she had said. Her concerns were shared by everyone, however unwisely she had chosen to voice them.

"Get out." Mustang whispered. He stumbled towards the door, his hand white-knuckled as he gripped the handle. "All of you, get out!" The crowd fled, Anna among them, and Mustang slammed the door behind them. He leaned heavily against the wood, all his strength spent in that short burst of violent action.

Havoc was next to him in an instant. He draped his arm around Mustang's shoulders and guided him back to the other room. With a gentleness that belied the stern set of his features, the lieutenant set Mustang down on the floor, only a few inches from where Hawkeye lay, still and silent. Mustang reached out to her, his fingers brushing strands of hair away from her pale cheeks. His other hand reached for hers, lacing their fingers together. For a long moment he did nothing but stare at her. Ed moved into the room, standing side by side with Havoc. Mustang ignored them both. It wasn't until Havoc broke the silence that he finally looked up.

"There was no need for that, Roy." Havoc's voice was calm but Mustang's shoulders hunched at his words. His face was carefully guarded showing none of the tumultuous emotion present only moments before. How had the fearless, confident leader who had held them all together for so long been brought so low? In his teenage years Ed could remember thinking of Mustang as smug, insufferable, even callous at times, yet he had never doubted his ability to overcome any adversary that stood in his way. It seemed that even years later, after all that had happened, he hadn't quite outgrown that childish faith. They had all been looking to Mustang to save them, demanding things of him without ever wondering if they were even in his power to give.

"I know." Mustang sighed. His voice was like dry leaves across a stone floor. "I shouldn't have reacted like that. But the things she said..." He trailed off, turning away from them. Ed crouched down, facing Mustang across Hawkeye's body.

"Is it true?" He asked. "Have you finished the array?" Ed hesitated, trying not to let any of the hope that had built up inside him into his voice. "Can I see it?"

Mustang nodded yet every line of his body betrayed his reluctance. He searched through the piles of notes on the floor and found a single sheet of paper, holding it out to Ed without meeting his eyes. Just one glance told Ed everything he needed to know. Mustang's secrecy, his violent outburst, his lack of concern for his own health... they all made sense now. The array was beautiful, incredibly complex, something he would have been proud of when he was an alchemist and yet...

"This will kill you."

Havoc gasped, rushing over to kneel next to Ed, his eyes wide and disbelieving. Mustang said nothing, further confirming Ed's suspicions. "But you already knew that, didn't you? It would have been obvious the moment you started sketching the array. How could you have kept this from us?"

Mustang laughed, a cold, empty sound that raised the hair at the back of Ed's neck. "Because I knew how you'd react, of course. But it's no use. There's no other way. I tried so hard to find one but there's no getting past equivalent exchange. This is what has to be done."

"Roy," Havoc spoke quietly, all traces of anger drained from his voice. He put a hand on Mustang's shoulder, waiting until the alchemist looked up to meet his eyes. "You are not responsible for everything that has happened. You don't have to do this."

"But I do, Jean." Ed looked away, not wanting to interfere with what was passing between the two soldiers. The bond between Havoc and Mustang was far greater than just that of commander and subordinate and Ed could only imagine what Havoc was feeling. The thought of losing Mustang was terrible yet Ed knew it must be far worse for the members of his team. They were truly a family, in ways Ed had only just come to appreciate. "It was my fault for not realising that the creatures had escaped and as a result of my failure, hundreds of people have died. There's no other way that we can be free of the creatures. And I need to put this right, any way I can."

Havoc started to object but fell silent with a single glance from Mustang. He nodded once, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Ed wanted to reach out and offer comfort but what could he possibly say to make this better? Mustang was right- damn him- there was no other way. The array demanded a life and, as always, Mustang would be the one to take that price upon himself. Ed dreaded to think what would happen to Hawkeye when she awoke to find her general lying dead beside her. She would never forgive them, he knew. Well, she'd find no objections there. Yet as much as he despised himself for it, Ed knew he would do nothing to stop Mustang from going ahead with his plan. He was right; it was the only way any of them could hope to survive.

Roy shivered, wrapping his coat tighter around himself. He could barely remember what it felt like to not be cold, to not be one step away from collapsing at any moment. Still, he reminded himself, in only a few more moments such concerns would never bother him again. The thought was so morbid he almost laughed out loud but he couldn't bring himself to disturb the silence that had settled over the room. He had sent the others far away, to the opposite side of the building where they would not be harmed if the transmutation lost control. None of his team had wanted to leave but he gave them no choice. He was almost certain that the array was safe, that it would work, but not certain enough to gamble any of their lives on it. He would be the only one to die tonight.

Again, that laughter, joyless and uncontrolled, threatened to burst out of him. Roy clamped his lips shut, scrubbing his aching eyes with the back of his hand. What was wrong with him? Perhaps Ed and Havoc were right to look at him the way they had that morning. No, he knew they were. There was something wrong with him, that much was obvious. He hadn't meant to be so violent towards Anna but the way she had talked about Riza... It would have been easy for him and his team to have left Central, before the walls went up. Grumman had practically begged him to do so. But they had stayed to help those who were not able to defend themselves, risking their own lives to rally the survivors and find them shelter. It was because of Anna and the others like her that Riza was in this situation; because of them that he was preparing the array that would kill him.

Roy looked down at the array at his feet and shivered again, this time not from cold. The circle was vast and complex, taking up almost all the space in the small room, the dark, intricate lines stark against the bare stone floor. It had taken him the best part of an hour to draw out, his eyes straining in the flickering lantern light, but now it was finally ready. It was time to begin. Taking out a small knife from his pocket Roy made a shallow cut across the palm of his left hand, slicing just below the faint pink scar already marring the skin there. He turned his hand upwards and watched as the blood fell onto the centre of the array, the drops mixing with the dust and half dried paint, staining the pale stone a dirty red. His blood would serve a double purpose: to amplify the power of the array and to ensure that the life claimed as payment by the transmutation was his and his alone. No one else would pay for his mistakes. He tied a rag around his bleeding palm, gritting his teeth as the rough cloth bit into the open wound.

Ignoring the pain, Roy stepped out of the circle, turning his attention to the sleeping figure on the bed. He knelt down beside Riza, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. His fingertips were almost blue with cold yet her skin was warm, almost feverish. Her face was so calm. It was as if she was simply sleeping and he could wake her with a kiss, like a prince from the stories of his childhood. If only things were that easy. He leant over to kiss her anyway, his lips barely ghosting over hers, the last kiss he would ever give her. There were so many things he wanted to say to her still, so much they had always left unsaid. He only hoped that she knew already.

Blinking back tears, Roy lifted Riza from the bed, carrying her over to lie next to the array, just outside its lines. He was weaker than he'd been in years yet she felt almost insubstantial in his arms, as if she could slip from his hands and disappear forever. He laid Riza out on the floor, fighting back memories of the last time he had seen her like this, her life's blood draining away beneath her fingers. But he was not helpless this time. He would be able to save her, even if at a price she would find too high to accept.

He stepped away from her, placing himself in the centre of the array. The lantern was running low on fuel, casting sinister shadows across the intricate lines of the circle, transforming the beautiful array into something hideous. Only fitting for a transmutation that would bring nothing but destruction. Taking a deep breath he focused his mind on the array, on the complex reactions behind the strokes of paint, reaching within himself for the energy to drive the transmutation. He held his hands out and clapped. The sound echoed off the walls, startling and absolute. And then Roy saw nothing but white light.

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