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Chapter 2:

Day One, A Rude Awakening

Konan mostly took control of the whole child-watching business once the twins arrived, which left the other members the opportunity to retreat to their rooms and either prepare to hide for the next week, or time to think up a plan to keep the rugrats in check.

Deidara snuck up to his room and quietly closed the door behind him—a gesture he wasn't used to doing so quietly. With a base full of raging idiots who always took the time to make snide comments about him to piss him off, he became accustomed to slamming his bedroom door to send off a warning to the other members. But today, he made sure to avoid making a scene of himself, so that in case the kids did happen to run off from 'Auntie Konan', he'd be tucked safe and sound within the privacy of his own bedroom.

"Oi, Sasori no Dana," Deidara began once he was locked within the security of his room. He walked over to his work desk, which held a small portrait of his former partner propped up in an old wooden frame. He felt as if the frame was symbolic of his prior partner's persona. "Konan brought in some kids that we're supposed to take care of. She's off her rocker if she thinks I'm going to help wrangle in those rugrats," he muttered before adding, "I know you'd feel the same way." A sorrowful grin tugged at the end of his lips. Although he and Sasori didn't get along well enough to exist in complete harmony, Deidara respected his fellow artist although Sasori never outwardly expressed his respect in Deidara's stance in the artistic world. But to be frank, he did miss Sasori, regardless.

Deidara allowed a chuckle to break the silence and snap himself out of his mourning. He knew how impatient Sasori was, and surely he wouldn't want Deidara to stand in silent sorrow. A smile broke through Deidara's lips as he allowed a wink to overtake his right eye. "Sasori, my man," he said through his grin, "Kids are the one thing even you wouldn't want to make eternal."

With his playful jab still lingering in the air, he turned away and paraded to his bed. Although it was mid-afternoon, he didn't want to miss the opportunity to get some rest while everyone was silent in the base. Letting out a content sigh, he settled onto his bed and closed his eyes.

Deidara drifted into consciousness when he felt something cascade down his neck followed by a quiet, "Uh-oh." How long had he been asleep? For only an hour? And yet someone still came to bother him? "Get the hell out," he grumbled; not bothering to open his eyes, yet instead swatted at whatever was stuffed down his back. "Can't you see I'm sleeping here?"

"Uh-oh," the intruder announced again.

"What do you mean uh-oh? Can't you speak?" He was agitated now. Opening his eyes revealed not one of the Akatsuki, but instead the young girl who had been dropped off hours prior. She was at the edge of his bed, a pair of scissors in hand, and large, glossy eyes that were about as innocent as a deer's.

Eyeing the scissors in her hand, Deidara's eye twitched out of annoyance. "What did you do?" he questioned, bolting upright to take a glance around his room. As far as he could see, everything remained untouched; his pouches of clay remained still unopened on his work desk, his closet sealed tight, and a few trinkets of his laying around on his dresser as he left them. All was normal; until he felt the same scratchy sensation spread from his neck all the way down to his back.

"Uh-oh," the child repeated, bright hazel eyes staring innocently at him, almost masking the sheen of the scissors she clutched in her hand. "Sorry lady," she pouted.

"—Lady?" Deidara interrupted, fuming. "I'm obviously a man! Do I need to show you?"

"Deidara, that's being a pedophile," Konan warned, appearing in the doorway. The little girl turned her head, and seeing that her aunt had arrived, bounded over toward the blue haired woman, holding her scissors up for her to take. "Hm?" Konan questioned, reaching down and taking the scissors that were offered. "Kora, what did you use these for?"

"Hell if I'd know!" Deidara growled, scratching furiously at his back. "She kept saying 'Uh-oh.' 'Uh-oh' what?"

Glancing over at Deidara, Konan muffled a chuckle before ushering Kora out of the room. "Come on, Kora," she said between giggles, turning away with the child. "Let's flee the scene as quickly as possible."

"Flee what scene?" He demanded, but the duo had already escaped down the hall. Rising from his bed, he scratched at his back once more before turning to his dresser. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror propped behind the dresser, he felt his face pale before turning red with rage.

"My ponytail!" Konan could hear Deidara shout from his bedroom. She assumed he had seen what a butchered mess was left from Kora's experiment. She gently patted her niece on the head as the child looked up at her, bottom lip quivering in a mix between a pout and a face she would make when she was about to cry.

"Is the lady mad?" Kora questioned timidly.

"No, she's not," Konan replied, resisting the urge to smile at the incident. "She's always wanted to look like a man."