A/N

So I decided that a second chapter might go nicely, from Lupin's point of view. Set during 'Half Blood Prince', a short time after Tonks' visit. Hope you all enjoy and a big thanks to those who have reviewed! Made me want to write more.

Disclaimer:

Characters, locations, the whole lot belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement intended!

Remus Lupin appeared a few feet from the back door, his brown hair, streaked more liberally than usual with grey, whipping in the wind. As he dusted off his ragged clothes, an effort he regarded as futile when he glanced as his threadbare jacket, another loud crack resounded close by and the tell-tale rhythmic thump let Remus know that Alastor Moody, too, had arrived safe and sound.

"In we go then," Moody growled. His scarred face tried to smile and the attempt made him appear, if possible, more menacing. Remus walked up to the door and knocked, Moody right behind him.

"Who is it?" Remus recognised the voice to be a very wary Mrs Weasley.

"It is I, Remus Lupin, member of the Order with ex-Auror, Alastor Moody."

"What was your nickname at school?"

Remus smiled thinly.

"Moony."

They didn't even have to wait a minute as the door was flung open by a very welcoming Mrs Weasley.

"Goodness, but it isn't even dinnertime," She said, throwing an anxious look over her shoulder at the clock, "I have barely started… come in, both of you! It's so cold out today… that's it, this way."

Remus took a step inside and the aroma of beef filled his nostrils. It was mouth-watering; the spices and juices hit him like a brick wall and his stomach gave an audible growl. It had been weeks since he had anything closely resembling a hot meal and now more than ever he appreciated the Weasley hospitality.

He took his time savouring the smell and warmth, his reverie only broken by a loud tsk. Molly Weasley was sizing him up and didn't seem to like what she saw.

"Remus, dear, you look like you haven't eaten in weeks!"

"An appearance, I'm sure, that will be amended this evening," Remus replied politely with a faint smile.

Molly smiled in return, her admonitions long forgotten, and ushered both him and Moody into seats at the kitchen table.

"I'll just make up something quick to keep you both fed until dinner."

As she flicked her wand and ingredients flew to her, Moody picked up the newspaper that sat on the table and started to peruse it intently. His magical eye, however, had no interest in it, and it zoomed about in the socket, here and there. Probably checking the security of the house, Remus thought wryly as he listened to Molly's humming while she sliced up onions.

"Have you seen anyone since returning, Remus?" Molly asked over her shoulder. She was now throwing vegetables into a boiling pot.

"I had to report to Dumbledore yesterday," Remus replied, his voice exhausted.

"Hmm yes, he dropped Harry off over here a few days ago," she said, turning to face him, "I have the strangest feeling that he's planning something with Harry."

"If Dumbledore has plans for the boy, we shouldn't question it," Moody interrupted, his good eye focused on Molly. His magical eye had flickered upwards at the ceiling, drawn by movement no doubt. Molly's response was drowned out by the broth behind her overflowing and hitting the oven and floor. She flicked her wand and cleaned the mess before responding:

"Heavens, he's just a boy!" she said, flustered, "He's always put in such danger and at such a young age…"

"If Dumbledore has plans for Harry, then he will be safe Molly," Remus reasoned. He understood her fears, he had the same gnawing at his heart. Being sent to track down Fenrir and other werewolves underground meant that he was never kept fully abreast of news for the sake of cover. He could not contact Harry or others, meaning that he would never know if anything happened. Harry was his last connection to Sirius, James, Lily, his former life. After Sirius' cruel death at the hands of Bellatrix, Remus had taken it upon himself to be there for Harry and to look out for him, a faint ghost of the godfather that Sirius had been the last couple of years. As such, he had to trust in Dumbledore that Harry would be kept safe.

"The Auror department are working over time, including extra security at Hogsmeade," Moody interrupted, the newspaper in front of him now completely forgotten.

"Constant vigilance?" Remus asked with a smile.

Moody grunted in response and muttered a 'thank you' as Molly placed a steaming bowl in front of him. Remus, too, gave a heart felt thanks as he took the warm bowl in his hands. It smelled delicious.

"I'm afraid it's not much, but enough to get you by."

Remus shovelled the soup in his mouth, all thoughts of etiquette forgotten. Molly watched on approvingly before sitting down at the kitchen table as well.

"You said about extra Aurors in Hogsmeade?" Molly asked casually.

"Yes, four of 'em," Moody replied, sitting back in his chair with a groan, "Proudfoot is heading the security there. Good man, decent head on his shoulders. They thought of putting Dawlish in charge of it- pah!"

"Is Tonks stationed there?" Molly asked.

Remus froze, a full spoon caught in mid-air, halfway to his lips. Molly couldn't possibly have planned this line of questioning, could she? His eyes flickered towards her. She sat, back straight, hands lightly drumming on the table and an all-too-innocent expression on her face. Surely she couldn't know…

"Yep," Moody said, proudly, "I may not be part of that damn department anymore, but I asked Kingsley to pull some strings. Need one of my own there and Tonks is the best for it."

While Moody's good eye went back to the bowl in front of him as he continued to eat, his magical eye remained fixed on Remus. What was this? An inquisition? Remus felt his face warm up for no reason. Please let the conversation shift.

"She came over a couple of nights ago actually, have you seen her lately Alastor?" Molly continued on with dogged determination and Remus kept quiet, hoping the conversation would eventually fall flat.

"Yeah, I've seen her," Moody replied, his eyes darkening and his mouth set in a grim line, "girl's depressed. With Scrimgeour running the department ragged, I'm not surprised she looks exhausted."

"I think something else is on her mind actually," Molly said with a sigh. She turned her attention to Remus and he felt like a rabbit caught in headlights, "do you know what's wrong with her?"

"No idea," he replied, pointedly looking down at his now-empty bowl, "perhaps Sirius-"

"- no," Molly interrupted quickly, "no, I don't think that's it."

"Well whatever it is, I'm sure it's none of our business," Remus finalised, finally having the courage to look up into Molly's eyes. She didn't seem to like his answer, not one bit, and opened her mouth to argue back. As she did so, however, Arthur and Hermione came through the backdoor.

"Remus! Alastor! Good to see you both," Arthur said warmly, taking off his cloak, "was just out back in the shed. Hermione was teaching me how to use the tellovision remote-"

"- television," Hermione corrected him.

"Yes, that," Arthur smiled, "amazing contraptions those muggles have. Something for everything!"

Remus saw Molly give a quick glance over at everyone in the kitchen, before standing up.

"Arthur, wouldn't it be best to double check the security in the house? What with all our guests…"

"Good idea," Arthur conceded. Moody perked up at this innocuous statement.

"I'll go with you," he growled, heaving himself out of the chair, "after years of having to think like a Death Eater, no crack in the wall is safe."

"Well then we best get started," Arthur replied with a small smile, "our attic walls look like ancestry trees."

As Moody stumped out of the kitchen with Arthur on his heels, Remus looked around. Hermione stood near the kitchen table, looking suitably uncomfortable and Molly had retreated to her cauldron. He prayed that she wouldn't-

"Hermione, dear, I think Ron was looking for you a little while ago."

"Was he?" Hermione asked, her casual demeanour somewhat ruined by the hope that flickered in her eyes. Remus' stomach turned as his thoughts involuntarily went towards another young woman who had that same look in her eyes weeks ago, now dulled to defeat and it was all his fault.

"He's up in his room I expect, with Harry and Ginny."

"Thanks Mrs Weasley," Hermione said and walked out of the room. That left Remus and Molly and he knew that this was no accident. He was trapped.

"More soup, dear?" Molly asked pleasantly.

"No thank you Molly," Remus had one chance at escape and it was right now, "I think I'd best talk to Harry about-"

"- Remus, we need to talk."

"Please," Remus hunched over the table and sighed, running his hands through his hair, "if this is about-"

"- have you seen her Remus?" Molly asked, her voice raised. It wasn't anger that caused her voice to take such a powerful pitch however, more despair.

"It would be best if I didn't."

Remus glanced up at Molly and saw a look of incredulity on her face. She wouldn't understand, she couldn't understand.

"Molly, if I allow her to love me-"

"- she does love you-"

"- she can't," Remus ground out, rubbing his hair vigorously, "I've been over this time and time again with her. She can't love me-"

"- why not, Remus?" Molly asked shrilly, "give me one good reason why that woman should not love you!"

"Because!" Remus shouted, slamming his hands on the table suddenly. The kitchen was quiet aside from the ticking of the clock in the background and Remus' heavy breathing. Molly sat down across from Remus, silently questioning.

"Because," Remus started again, this time quiet, "I have nothing, I am nothing."

"Remus," Molly sighed, "you have so much to offer, why can't you see that?"

He let out a hoarse bark of laughter.

"What do I have to offer her? I have no money and no job prospects. I'm much too old for her… and I'm a dangerous creature."

Remus rubbed his face wearily. He had told Nymphdora this time and time again. She had so much ahead of her, so much life in her. It's why he loved her but it was also why he couldn't be with her. It was a bitter pill.

"Too poor and too old?" Molly asked, eyebrows raised, "you really think Tonks is that shallow?"

"No," he replied immediately. Nymphadora had never given a damn about his money, "but I don't want her to live a life of poverty. What kind of husband would I be, unable to provide for his own wife?"

"When Arthur and I married," Molly said gently, "we didn't have a knut to our name, Remus. You have more riches than you think and certainly more than most men. You have generosity, courage, humour and a true kindness in your heart. You have wealth of character and, while you think you're poor, to Tonks you're the richest man in the world."

Remus hated pity and he hated sympathy, but when he looked into Molly's eyes for one moment he allowed her words to wash over him as truth. He had enjoyed many long hours with Nymphadora without money needing to be involved and certainly there were many activities that didn't require it. A trip to the seaside perhaps, dinner in and a film, strolls in the park in the moonlight-

"I'm a werewolf," Remus stated bluntly, feeling the hope and the dreams evaporate almost as quickly as they came, "a dangerous creature."

"For one night of the month," Molly argued back simply, "and if someone could brew the wolfsbane potion not even dangerous then."

"Don't you see Molly?" Remus sighed, "she would become a social pariah. Her family would disown her, her friends would leave her… people would shun her in the streets just because she and I were connected!"

"You're connected now, you're friends" Molly pointed out, "her family know you and like you, most of her friends are in the Order anyway and people in the streets… do you really think Tonks would care what people in the streets thought of her? Her hair is pink, Remus."

Remus bit back a laugh at the last comment before his face once again became grave.

"She will care. I've lived with it my entire life and not a day goes by when I don't get a look in the street and it still hurts. I can't have Nymphadora go through that, I just can't."

"Don't you think that's her decision to make?"

"No," Remus replied firmly, "she'll make the wrong decision. If I can make this one for her and save her from that, then I will."

"You can't do this Remus, you haven't seen her. She needs you."

"She needs someone younger, someone who deserves her."

"She's chosen you."

Remus sat silently, staring at the table in front of him. He knew that Molly could sense his resolve weakening, her constant reasoning battering his defences. He had to keep strong, he and Nymphadora just couldn't be together. He didn't deserve her.

Molly watched all this with baited breath. Remus knew she was ready to put the last nail in the coffin.

"Sometimes, love is enough," she said quietly, "do you love her, Remus?"

"Molly…" he warned, willing himself not to break.

"she loves you, do you love her?"

Remus heard the clatter from above them and he watched Molly sit back with a sigh. Finally, he had a reprieve. Footsteps, many footsteps on the stairs. Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny must be coming down, he thought relieved. He turned towards the door, hoping to catch sight of messy black hair and circular glasses. As he did so, he caught the melancholy and worried expression plastered on Molly's face. She was concerned for Tonks, of course she was. Remus had heard from others in passing that Nymphadora looked depressed. Everytime they had argued, every time she had come up to him, begged, pleaded, screamed and every time he had turned her away, her hair had fallen lifeless and brown. She wouldn't eat, he had tried before he had left to get her to eat more. She had not listened, she had merely cried and asked why he was doing this. He didn't want to break her heart, but he had to make her understand. He had to make everyone understand. With that in mind, he turned to Molly and said quietly;

"I love her…" Molly looked at him, her face brightening, "… too much to bring her down with me."

She sighed sadly and gave a small nod. Harry wandered in, with the others on his tail.

"Mum," Ron called as they passed, "when's dinner ready?"

"It'll be ready when it's ready, Ronald!" Mrs Weasley huffed, standing up. She turned toward Remus and said quickly, "this isn't over."

"Molly, I never doubted it," Remus responded wryly, leaning back in his chair.

"Please see sense, Remus."

Remus looked around as the Hermione and Ron bickered at the table and Harry talked animatedly to Ginny.

"I have," he whispered, more to himself than Molly, "I have."

A/N

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