Chapter 4

"I want to say that I'm sorry, George" he said the words as he watched George in battle.

Fred's fingers itched without feeling. Every few minutes he would reach for his wand and shout a curse at a nearby Death Eater, forgetting that his efforts were in vain. It took him a while to fully grasp that anything he did would be completely useless. So he had allowed himself to float up towards the ceiling where he could have a good view of the action. There he began to say everything that he would never get the chance to.

He spotted Ginny in the corner of the room and he turned to look at her as he spoke, "You were always so strong, Ginny. I think Mum needed you more than she needed the rest of us, or maybe she needed you because she didn't think she could hold on to the rest of us. And you were always there for her, even when Luna asked you to come over to her house in the summer, you wouldn't go. I always thought it was silly but I see why you did it now. The rest of us, we never really stopped to think about who we left behind. Now that I'm here… dead… I'm starting to see how much I've hurt people. I'm proud of you Ginny, you always thought of everyone else."

"NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH"

Fred stared in shock at the scene that had just unfolded before his eyes. Ginny had been dueling away when Bellatrix had caught up to her. And Molly Weasley, Fred's mother, had jumped in to save the day. Never in his life had Fred heard her cuss, but in his death he saw the fury that filled her face. "Mum! That was brilliant!" He swooped down towards her to get front row seats just in time to see the jet of green hit Bellatrix right in the belly. "Ha!" Fred did a somersault and began to laugh for the first time since he had died. Molly was already battling the next Death Eater, but the situation seemed much less severe now, there was a chance that they could actually win this thing.

Fred turned to look at his mother with a look of endearment in his eyes, "I love you Mum, and I'm sorry about all those letters home you got from the school. I'm not sorry I did it, those were some of my best memories, but I'm sorry you had to hear and worry. George and I have caused you so much distress, and I want you to know that we really didn't mean to worry you or hurt you at all. We just wanted to have some fun. I just want you to know that I'm so grateful for everything. You and Dad gave us all that you had and I wish I could've grown up and been able to repay you for that, but this is all that I can give you right now."

There were so many things left to say, so many things that Fred was going to do with his life. There was one person though, one person who he needed to talk to for real. George needed to hear so many things. There was a lot that Fred had failed at when it came to his best friend. He had dragged George down in so many ways. Mischief ran through both of their veins, but Fred was the planner and George was the one that thought up what their latest exploit would be. The ideas would be thrown at Fred with such force. At some point Fred would tell George that what he wanted to do wasn't plausible. That was often a lie. He got tired of planning things, of figuring it all out, so he would give up and he would tell George that he had done everything he could – he would lie to his brother's face. He thought of all the great things that they never achieved, because Fred always said "maybe we can do that one later".

There was a time once, just before the Yule Ball, when Fred and Angelina had gone off into an abandoned corridor. He felt a little bit guilty leaving George in the common room, but he figured that would give him a chance to find a date for the ball of his own. Afterwards Angelina had gone off somewhere and Fred set off on his way to his room. He thought he'd get George and maybe sneak into Honeyduke's for a treat. George wasn't there though, and as Fred opened the door to go look for him, he heard his twin's voice from down the hall.

"Well, I don't know, I guess Fred's kind of the mastermind behind all of our plans. So when he says it isn't going to work, it's pretty much fact."

"Aw come on George at least give it a shot!"

"Look Lee, Fred doesn't want to do it so that's final. Sorry ok? Maybe next time, you bring your ideas to him and not me. I just do execution, Fred's the brains of it, and he brings the ideas and the plans and everything."

Fred hadn't done anything to fix that assumption on George's part. It was nice for him to think that his brother thought so highly of him, a sort of illusion that he liked to uphold so that he didn't have to face the reality of it – Fred needed George more than George needed Fred. Sure, without Fred there would be no plans, but George would go out and try things anyways. Getting in trouble was never an issue, it was a guarantee that that would happen. Without George though, Fred would've always been too scared to do anything.

It seemed like an innocent thing at the time, just a small inferiority complex planted in George to match the one that Fred already had. It was only later that Fred realized how he had hurt George, and how many times he had hurt him. He never said anything though. Only now did Fred realize how terribly he had treated his brother, his brother who was always there for him with whatever he needed.

He thought back to something Lupin had said, about how ghosts can be seen because they suck the energy around them. He realized then that he could tell George everything, everything he wanted to say. If energy from fear and from the surroundings could make a ghost visible and audible, then if there was enough energy focused on one portion of the spirit, it could perhaps even … write?