How not to catch a chicken...

Fang: Okay, so Kate owns some wacky animals. By that I mean she's got a large golden lab who is only one & a half, but can still run down a full sized adult with joy! He's just too excitable & doesn't know his own strengths. She's got a cannibalistic fish, yeah Silvie ate Goldie. Hey, she was like nine when she got them. She had to name them within two minutes so her Grandma would know. After all, Grandma bought them. Kate's got four ducks, who hiss, loud! Oh yeah, did I mention she has two rather skittish chickens? Well, she does.

So here's the story of our 'fun' afternoon...

"Kate, why is there a chicken in Reggie's yard?" Mum asked. (Reggie is the lab, our cheeky dog)

"I don't know, weren't they put away into the yard?" Kate asked.

"That's what I thought too. Your little brother was supposed to put them away, before he left," Mum replied sounding frustrated or maybe just confused.

"Well, Fang, let's go get them!" Kate said cheerily. My instincts said be afraid, be very afraid.

"Ugh. Okay," I sighed walking after her outside.

This is where it really starts to get funny. So, Kate & I went into Reg's yard, after being knocked almost to the ground twice or more.

"SIT!" Kate yelled at Reg. He did, but his tail & general body was shaking too much for him to be settled. "Good boy," she said, but once the words had left her mouth he was up & jumping all over us again.

"Spoke to soon, eh?" I joked.

"Oh, shut up Fang," Kate snapped. "REGGIE!" She screamed as he pushed her over, again and started 'nibbling' her face, arms, legs, feet, ankles, really anywhere he could get to. I jumped over and wrestled him to the ground, so that Kate could get back up, even if only for a minute.

"Reg, come on. Over here, Reggie!" Mum called. She held up a treat to distract him, & it worked.

That was one less disruption. "Okay, you grab the gate & I'll get the chicken," Kate said. I nodded & opened the gate. The problem? The other chicken had gotten in. Kate got the first chicken up & carried it out, before realising the second one was in. "Righto, now if we just grab you," she said reaching out to the chook. Usually if someone they know reaches over them, they 'bow' or 'sit' so we can pat them or pick them up. But this is Mocha Choca we were talking about, yes that is her name & the other one is Latte. So that means she wouldn't be that easy, oh no. No way.

"Bruck, bruck, bruck, bruck," Mocha Choca said. That was a rough translation of 'I'm not going anywhere' in chicken.

"Come here, you chicken!" Kate called. Unfortunately for her, Reggie was done with his distraction. So that meant Reg was terrorising MC, so she was a little more skittish than usual. This meant that she was running around everywhere & jumping away from us. Then Kate began to get frustrated. "Grrr... Don't make me eat you, chicken!" That's right. Our lovely Kate Skye Ride was threatening a chicken! A poor, defenceless CHICKEN! "I will have you for dinner, & not as my guest!" I couldn't believe my ears. Kate was threatening Mocha Choca!

"Now, now, Kate. There's no need to threaten the chicken," I said as I walked towards her & picked the chicken up.

"It hates me!" Kate screamed running back inside, balling her eyes out.

"I guess it's just you & me now, Mocha Choca." I told the chicken as I walked towards the pen & put them away...

Fang: Well, it was one hell of an afternoon.

Kate: My chickens hate me! But they love you! -bursts into tears-

Fang: Anyway, I have full access to my line! R&

Kate: R&R!