I was in the justice building, waiting to see good-bye to everyone. The reality still hadn't sunk in. I don't understand how this could be. I don't understand how both katniss and I could both be repead. It felt like a twitsted joke. I stared out the window, the very same window katnniss had stared under the last year. The door clicked open and mom came in.
"Mom." I said and she came over and hugged me. "Mom, i'm so sorry. I'm sorry." I tried not to cry. Katniss hadn't cried and I won't either.
She stroked my cheek, "My beautiful daughter," she said, "I'm the one that is sorry. I'm so sorry. About katniss. About your father. And this."
"We have bad luck, don't we?" I mumbled, trying to make light of the situation but failing.
The door clicked open again and Gale walked in. He came over and hugged me.
"Prim, -"
"I know." was all I could say.
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "I'll try my best."
what else could I say?
Soon enough I was on the train with peeta and Effie and Haymitch.
"It's so tragic, I can't believe it, I really can't, I mean your sister last year and you this year, it's so tragic." Effie rambled on and I tried to tune her out as she lead us into the dining cart. "And peeta, you just won last year, to go back into the arena, it's just so sad." she dabbed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"lay off, Effie." haymitch said before he left the car completely. Ecen this was too much for him.
"Why don't you two just make yourself at home? We'll be at the captiaol tomorrow." she darted off in her six inch heels, her silver skin glowing under the train lights. I was alone with peeta.
I didn't want to look at him, but the burning question remained. Why did he volunteer? Was it for haymitch? But he looked at me when he had voluteneered. So was it for me? I don't know. I didn't know anything anymore except the aching of my heart.
The silence was broken by him speaking.
"Prim." he said and I flinched.
"What?" I mumbled, looking out the window, my one braid falling over my shoulder.
"I just..."
"Why did you volunteer?" I asked him.
There was a pause and then, "To protect you. To do it right this time."
I let out a dry laugh, "to be my protector? What are you going to do peeta, kill everyone and then yourself? I'm going against victors. I'm the only normal tribute because our district sucks."
Peeta shifted his weight on his artitifical leg, "Prim," he sounded strangled, "I have to do this, for katniss. You...you don't deserve this, you can't be reaped -"
"Well, I am." I said and I left him alone in the car train.
At night in my bed, as we whirled towardds the capitol, I had nightmares. Katniss dying, clove's knifes driving into her, her bleeding out, the cannon booming, her name becoming just another fallen tribute. Would that be my fate?
But then I thought...i thought before I went, before I died, I could get peeta. I could kill peeta. Couldn't I? My final act before one of the victors killed me off. I could get peeta back for winning, for not having katniss back. He wanted to protect me, but the only way he could protect me was if I could kill him before I died. So I could die in peace.