After the interviews ended, we went back to the apartments. Peeta was quiet. Effie was babbling, as she tended to do. And I felt sure that I had played my own personal game correctly. I hd thrown peeta a ball that he had to catch. He had to protect me now. And when his guard was down, i'd kill him. Then anyone could kill me, I didn't care.
That night, I could hear the captiol partying before the games started. I wondered if peeta was by the window again. Part of me wanted to see him. I don't know why. But I followed my feet and went to the window. He was there, looking out at the city. My heart fluttered at the sight of him. I ignored it.
"Hey." I whispered.
"Hey." he didn't turn around.
I took a step next to him, my feet cold against the marble.
"Interviews are indtimating aren't they?" he asked me.
My hair was falling around my shoulders, all crinkled from the styling cinna had done.
"Yeah. It was."
There was silence and then he said, "i'll protect you, prim."
a part of me wanted to think bingo! That I had done what I had set out to do. But instead my heart lurched to my throat and I couldn't speak. That urge to grab his hand came out again. I didn't say anything. Neither did peeta. But I felt like I should ay omething to him. Something to him about us. I just wasn't sure what. I wasn't sure what was going on with me. I had been set clear to my purpose when I was reaped. But now, after spending time with him, personal one on one time – would I be able to kill him when the time came? For katniss?
"I'm scared." I admitted.
"Me too." he said.
"You're a victor, at least."
I was aching to hold his hand now. I was aware of his precense right next to me and felt like I was going to act on something crazy. Something I wasn't sure I was ready to admit yet.
"I guess i'll go to bed." I said.
"goodnight." he said.
I left him there and tried to sleep.
The next day, aftr the journey on the hovercraft to the secret place where the arena is, I was taken to the starting chamber. Cinna was waiting for me.
"Just a year ago I sent katniss off..." he started and I knew what he was going to say, but didn't want to hear it.
"Thanks for everything." I said to him and he smiled.
"Good luck prim." he said.
He helped me into the metal tube, and straightening out my braid that katniss had worn. He smiled sadly at me. We both knew I wasn't coming back and that I wouldn't win. My hands were shaking as the tube closed around me. It began to rise, higher and higher, higher, till I was blinded by the sun as we emerged from darkness.
My vision cleared and all I could hear at first was the ocean. The ocean? And then I could make out people on the metal pedestals. And finally, water.
Water, water, everywhere. We'd start in water.
I'm dead, I thought to myself, i'm so dead.