Disclaimer: I own nothing! Just a copy of the Kama Sutra that Kuja keeps stealing from me. He edited and revised the 9th edition but a certain somebody won't let me borrow it.

Mystic: Yeah, just ignore that above disclaimer. Anyway, this chapter comes to you from my overseas friend, t3h maniac! He requested something along the lines of bad timing. Okay, why don't we bring in the black mages, shall we?

"Tell me what you desire, Lady Hilda."

His voice was smooth and suave, almost like that of a con artist. A con artist with the ability to conjure a deadly flame with a simple wave of his hand. Or to give a proper woman thoughts that would make the most experienced mistress blush with utter shame. She knew that this wizard once had a past mistress. What happened to the poor girl has remained a mystery to the Lindblum female.

"What kind of question is that, Kuja?" Hilda looked at the mystical man over the lavish table aboard what was now his airship. Her sharp eyes were unusually drawn to the way he kept swirling the red wine in his goblet.

Kuja simply smirked, leaning back in his chair. "An easy question, one would think." He took a small sip of the alcoholic beverage before continuing. "Do not dwell on it that much, dear canary." Another sly grin graced his features as a frustrated scowl graced the golden sorceress sitting across from him. The silver wizard enjoyed too much agitating her emotions.

"Tell me your desire," he asked again. "And do not concentrate on the question. It does not take much provocation to make a lady's mind snap." His fingernails tapped against the glass goblet to further strengthen his words. The ringing tone of the expensive crystal radiated throughout the room.

Well, then. If this soft-featured male wishes to know her desires, then so be it. Hilda straightened up in her chair, glancing briefly at her surprisingly well-cooked meal of beef wellington before pushing it away. "I desire a faithful spouse." There, she said it.

The shattering of a wine glass echoed throughout the dining area. Snap. "Done," was all Kuja replied.

Hilda was absolutely flabbergasted. This wizard did not--did not--just drop an extravagant glass of red wine onto the marble floors. That sort of behavior just wasn't done. It wasn't proper, it wasn't orderly, it wasn't ... it wasn't ... Curses, where did her train of thought go? She glanced down at the floor and saw the ruby puddle of alcohol and dreams. Five hundred gil dropped onto the floor. Did Kuja have any manners at all?

Kuja stood and reached for the bottle of wine, purposefully ignoring the death glare the Lindblum-bred woman was giving him. As he poured another glass, he asked again. "What else do you desire?"

What? Again? Was this scandolous mage going to shatter another glass with her answer? Hilda leaned back slightly and watched him with a raised eyebrow. He was leaning against the table with a mischievous grin on his face. The glass of wine rested safely in his hand, but hovered dangerously in the air.

"I desire adventure." Smart, Hilda. Smart. Horrifically cliche.

Snap. Crash. "Done."

Lady Hilda could not stop her mind from linking the shattered glasses on the floor to her own shattered life. Was Kuja that smart? Did he use this metaphorical link just to connect with his prisoner? Maybe just one more test should confirm her suspiscions.

And possibly make his heart stop beating for two deserving seconds.

"I also desire a man who knows how to properly bring a woman to orgasmic heights."

"Done." The third glass of strong wine shattered upon the floor, overshadowing the heavy footsteps of the Silver Wizard waltzing closer to the golden canary flocking in his cage.

Hmph, his heart remained in rhythm. Damn, maybe she should try harder.

A heated fire spread down to her lower belly as Kuja stepped closer and closer, uncomfortably closing the distance between them. Hilda could barely bring herself to look up at him, fearful of whatever lust he conjured within her soul. But she did, and face of mystery and sly being burned down to her.

Cid's betrayed wife never did figure out why this question escaped her hushed lips. "And your desire, Wizard?" Her face flushed and she glanced away, feeling the way his eyes roamed over her body like a lion in heat.

"Why, to make all of your desires come true, little canary." Kuja smirked in conquest and handed the woman a full glass of wine. Hopefully, this form of seduction would end in both of their satisfaction.

"Done," a quiet, feminine voice whispered. She picked up the glass and let it drop beside her, it's contents spilling onto her shoes and hem of her gown.

Kuja's mouth dipped down to capture hers, sparking an even more hot fire to burn. His lips hovered over hers and she could feel every warm breath infusing her being. He smelled of wine and alchemy, magic and complete power. What had come over her, to accept this magician's seduction?

"What is this?!"

Kuja's head snapped up and away from a very red Hilda. Her face was the near color of the puddles of wine that oozed on the flooring. "What do you want?" the wizard asked. To say he was annoyed at the interruption was an understatement.

Glowing eyes peered out from a large steepled hat. "Your chambers have been prepared for the evening." Those yellow eyes peered in the direction of the young woman dining with the Silver Wizard. What do you know, yet another mistress perhaps? Maybe this one will last longer.

Chambers? That flush on Hilda's embarassed face grew even deeper.

Talk about bad timing. Or a very strong coincedence.

Lady Hilda wasn't exactly sure.

Mystic: Oh, Lady Jane. How much I adore your cinematic inspiration. Well, maniac, I hope this was up to par. Next up, a dark look into Kuja's past requested by RenzokukenZ.