Disclaimer: Must I? Fine, I don't own Kuja, Hilda, or anything else SquareEnix created. Lucky bastards.

Mystic: Mango. Yep, a mango. That really yummy, juicy fruit. Yummy ... juicy ... Get where I'm going here? Penetrate your minds down a gutter and there ya go! No, this isn't my idea. It belongs to RenzokukenZ. I guess he likes the fruit. So, to test my writing skills a bit, I'm going to write this from Hilda's point of view. Let's see what that golden canary is thinking, shall we?

There are days when I simply cannot stand being in the presence of that wizard. He is annoyingly vain and extremely narcisstic. Much as I try to ignore it, there is also this faint evil air around him. Kuja is smug and prideful and hugely, undeniably amazing.

Shame on me. Try as I might, I just lack the ability to stay angry at him. Do not mistake me. When it comes to being kidnapped and your ship stolen, Kuja is your safest bet. The room he gave me in his castle is stunning and the meals are surprisingly lovely. Best of all, there have been many mornings when I have found myself wrapped in his arms on his bed. Yes, I admit that I am sleeping with my captor. Just try it ladies. Highly dangerous, but wonderfully satisfying.

Yet, times like now and I find myself very frustrated at him. Well, sexually frustrated. He does this to me from time to time. That wizard will get my blood boiling and my thoughts sinful through certain caresses and kisses, then be cruel and not continue it. Like now for example. My silver sorcerer is just sitting in his study, studying a tome about aqua incantations and eating.

Yes, he is eating a simple mango and it's killing me!

Me! The stoic and proper woman from Lindblum is thiiiis close to pushing her captor to the floor and copulate like brainless animals. This is what has become of me, just from watching him eat a mango. Do not question why. It really should be quite clear. Have you noticed what eating a mango is like? Kuja just sits there and I have to swallow to stop myself. Just watching him lap up the juices with his tongue and use gentle motions with his teeth ... Sweet Shiva, I really need to pay homage to that ice spirit. Did she truely bless me with this man? Knowing he could be the cure to my sexual ignorance?

Deep breath, Hilda. Deep breath. Do not pay attention to the way his tongue flicked out again. Just do not look at the way his using that skilled tongue of his to lick off some of the fruit's juices from his fingers. Oh, no. His fingers are all slick. So is his mouth. Control yourself, Hilda. Just because his mouth is all wet and warm does not mean anything. Nay, nothing. Nothing at all.

No, he just moaned. Kuja moaned and it sounds exactly like the moans he makes when we--

"Kuja," I speak out.

He looked up at me and I swear, he smirked. "Good day, little canary. Care to join me?"

As long as it involves your mouth on me, then yes.

I refrain from saying that however, because I am a proper lady. "Aye, I was missing you."

There, much more demure. I smiled politely when he motioned for me to sit by him.

So much for being demure. I decided to take a seat on his comfortable lap instead. Then I kissed him, deep and full on his mouth, savoring the sweetness of the mango. I think I felt him smirk again as he tossed the eaten fruit to the ground. His arms felt too good around my waist.

It's rather pitiful really. He knows that I cannot resist his charms.

And alas, he's right.

Mystic: I said fun with food. I didn't mean another lemon. RenzokukenZ, the recesses of your mind never cease to amaze me. But readers, I need more requests! Send them in, okay? Review!