EXT. GREAT BARRINGTON, MA – MALL – MIDDLE OF DAY
CHELSEA, DEAN and SAM are walking in a mall. The banner of the mall says "Great Barrington Mall". SAM DEAN are looking around at stores, and CHELSEA is rolling her eyes.
CHELSEA
You guys really don't have to do this for me. I'm totally fine with the clothes I have on now.
DEAN
No! You should have at least two more outfits. Trust me, you may be able to get around with the bare minimum for a couple of days, but after awhile you're gonna need to wash your clothes. Then where are you gonna be?
CHELSEA
There's probably a case we could we working on right now. Instead we're out buying clothes for me. Right Sam?
SAM
Sorry, but I'm gonna have to agree with Dean on this one.
CHELSEA
Ugh...
DEAN
Is this a store you usually go into?
CHELSEA
Sure?
DEAN
Let's go in.
CHELSEA looks at SAM pleadingly, but he just shrugs and they walk into the store. As they walk in, a saleswoman (chewing gum) comes to greet them.
BRITTANY
Hello! My name is Brittany. Do you need any help today?
DEAN
I think we're good. We're just trying to find clothes for Chelsea, here.
BRITTANY
Are your parents taking you shopping today?
DEAN
Oh, uh no! No! We're siblings. She's our sister.
BRITTANY
Oh, I'm uh... so sorry.
DEAN
That's okay, I guess.
BRITTANY
(to CHELSEA)
What are you looking for today?
CHELSEA
Clothes.
She looks at DEAN and SAM, who are edging her on to go in more detail.
CHELSEA (CONT'D)
(sighs)
Shirts, jeans, I want at least two more outfits.
BRITTANY
Well, I can help you with that.
BRITTANY motions for CHELSEA to follow her into the store. SAM and DEAN stand there awkwardly. A WOMAN looks at them funny, and DEAN waves.
SAM
I'm gonna find a case.
(as he pulls out his laptop)
DEAN
Good idea.
SAM sits down on the couch, as DEAN looks at clothes on a rack. He pulls a frilly pink one off and chuckles.
DEAN
Hey Sam, I know you've been wanting a new shirt lately.
SAM rolls his eyes at him, and DEAN chuckles, putting the shirt back.
SAM
Hm. I found a case, and it's right here in San Diego too.
DEAN
Perfect, what is it?
SAM
It's... interesting.
DEAN
Interesting how?
SAM
Have a look for yourself.
DEAN looks at SAM's laptop, and reads out loud.
DEAN
"Woman Dies in Flying Accident". So?
SAM
Read more.
DEAN
"According to witness reports, a flying man was carrying Shelly Couldrow and she was struggling. Finally the man let her go, and she fell to the ground, dying instantly. The man was reported to be wearing a cape and tights, and wore the colours blue and red. One witness, Kelly Ross, says that the flying man was indeed superman." Woah, dude. Superman? We're up against superman?
SAM
Could be, or could be something else.
DEAN
Like...?
SAM
We could be dealing with a trickster.
DEAN
A trickster? We killed Gabriel though.
SAM
There's more than one trickster in the world Dean!
DEAN
I guess you could be right. We'll interview people tomorrow. The witness, Kelly Ross, we should talk to her.
SAM
The thing is why would the trickster kill Shelly with Superman? I mean there's gotta be a reason.
We see BRITTANY listening in on their conversation. She smiles, and ducks behind the corner.
DEAN
(takes the laptop, and reads some more)
I have one reason. Shelly was working on boycotting comic books about superheroes. Saying that they're too violent for little kids.
SAM
So, she was a bitch.
DEAN
Yup. Come on, taking away comic books? I used to read those things and I turned out fine!
SAM
Not violent at all.
DEAN
Exactl- oh. Shut up.
CHELSEA comes out of the dressing room. She's wearing a black leather jacket, a dull green tank top, and ripped jeans.
BRITTANY
Doesn't she look stunning?
DEAN
(impressed)
Yeah, definitely.
CHELSEA
It's not too fancy, it's useable.
SAM
I like it.
CHELSEA
Thanks.
BRITTANY
We also got five other shirts, and six other pairs of jeans. Also a brown leather jacket.
DEAN
Uh... just wondering. How much is all this gonna cost?
BRITTANY
We have very convenient prices on all of our clothing here.
DEAN
What's the convenient overall price?
BRITTANY
Um... let's discuss that over at the cash register.
DEAN smiles weakly. CHELSEA smiles evilly, and DEAN glares as he makes his way to the cash register. CHELSEA goes back into the dressing room. SAM chuckles.
INT. GREAT BARRINGTON, MA – IN IMPALA - AFTERNOON
DEAN is driving the impala, with SAM shotgun and CHELSEA in the back.
DEAN
Well. That freaking destroyed my wallet. But I'm over it.
CHELSEA
Hey, you said that you wanted to buy me outfits. I just bought outfits.
DEAN
Yeah, yeah. We have a case.
CHELSEA
What is it?
SAM
We're thinking it's a trickster.
CHELSEA
Why are you thinking that?
SAM
Superman dropped a woman fifty feet in the air.
CHELSEA
Wait, superman doesn't exist?
SAM and DEAN roll their eyes.
CHELSEA
Who are we gonna interview?
DEAN
Um... well we're gonna interview Kelly Ross. You're gonna wait in the car.
CHELSEA
Why?
DEAN
You're kinda 14.
CHELSEA
So?
SAM
I don't think she would believe that you're a cop.
CHELSEA
Right.
DEAN
We'll tell you all about it. We're interviewing her tomorrow. In the meantime we'll catch some z's.
CHELSEA
Perfect.
INT. SAN DIEGO – HOTEL ROOM – MORNING
We don't see them (DEAN, SAM) in their hotel room sleeping. CHELSEA is out getting coffee. We hear DEAN get up, and he walks to the bathroom. Again, we do not see him. He turns on the tap in the sink, and takes a handful of water and splashes it in his face. He looks up to the mirror, when we finally see DEAN. We see that DEAN is actually a girl.
DEAN
SON OF A-
We go back to SAM sleeping as we hear a big bang. SAM is also a girl. SAM wakes up with a start when the bang happens.
SAM
Dean?
SAM hops out of bed and runs to aid his brother. We see DEANA on the floor, looking at the mirror hesitantly. SAM doesn't know that it's DEAN, so he grabs a gun and points it at her.
SAM
Who are you, where's Dean?
DEAN
I am Dean! Who are you?
SAM
Sam Winchester!
DEAN
Sammy?
SAM
(realizing)
Dean?
CHELSEA comes in, in normal form.
CHELSEA
Hey! I brought donuts-
She sees SAM and DEAN, only girls.
CHELSEA
What the-
DEAN & SAM
Not now, Chelsea!
CHELSEA
Dean...Sam...?
DEAN
Okay... why are we girls?
SAM
Uh... I don't know!
CHELSEA
You guys are kinda cute.
DEAN & SAM
Shut up!
SAM
Do you think...?
DEAN
It was the trickster?
CHELSEA
Yeah...that's what I'm thinking. I mean, what else can turn guys into girls? It's quite a trick.
CASTIEL
Dean...
Everybody turns to see that CASTIEL has popped up. Only CASTIEL is also in girl form.
DEAN
Cas?
CASTIEL
Yes.
CHELSEA
Wait, you're Castiel?
CASTIEL
Who's she?
DEAN
Long story, you weren't here. Cas, you're a girl too?
CASTIEL
My vessel has been changed into a girl, yes.
DEAN
Huh. Looks like we're in the same boat.
CASTIEL
There is no boat involved.
DEAN
(speechless)
Uh... yeah.
CASTIEL
Who is she?
DEAN
Chelsea, she's the slayer.
CHELSEA
Hiya.
CASTIEL
The slayer? Really?
CHELSEA
Yeah.
CASTIEL
(to DEAN)
Why are you bringing her along? The slayer has never helped in the ending battles.
CHELSEA
Um, you know. I can still hear you.
CASTIEL
Sorry.
(to DEAN)
We'll talk when she cannot hear us.
CHELSEA reaction shot
SAM
Okay, so we're girls. Do you think this is a trickster?
CASTIEL
Have you been hunting a trickster?
DEAN
We were about to. We were gonna talk to Kelly Ross today.
CASTIEL
The trickster must have known that you guys were onto it.
CHELSEA
What I don't understand is why the trickster changed you too. You haven't been much of a help these past few weeks.
CASTIEL
I had to take a break.
CHELSEA
Whatever. I just don't understand why it had a bone to pick with you too.
CASTIEL
It must know that I am friends with Sam and Dean.
CHELSEA
So what? It thinks that you guys can't get it now because you're girls?
(singing voice)
Sexist.
SAM
I think it just wanted to faze us. Make us freak out and not hunt it anymore. But it made a huge mistake, now we have a reason to kill it.
DEAN
Let's go and hunt this son of a bitch down.
CHELSEA
Is your name gonna be Alanis Morisette now?
SAM and DEAN roll their eyes, while CASTIEL stands there, not understanding that reference.
CHELSEA
Or maybe, Yoko Ono?
INT. GREAT BARRINGTON, MA – KELLY'S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
SAM
Did you get the new ID's?
DEAN
Did I get the new ID's? Pfft. Here.
DEAN hands SAM the ID.
SAM
Dude, Samantha Page?
DEAN
Shut up, I'm Deana Bonham.
SAM rolls his eyes. The camera backs up to see CHELSEA and CASTIEL sitting in the backseat.
CHELSEA
So they won't let you go either?
CASTIEL
Apparently I'm not a good cop. Or a bad cop.
CHELSEA
Oh. Well I'm too young.
CASTIEL
To be an FBI agent?
CHELSEA
Yeah, usually 14 year olds are still in school?
CASTIEL
I know about your mother.
CHELSEA
Shut up.
CASTIEL
It wasn't your fault.
CHELSEA
I said, shut up. I don't wanna talk about this, especially not to you who I don't even know.
CASTIEL
Okay.
PAUSE
CHELSEA
Do you know who my father is?
CASTIEL
I'm afraid I don't. Only people more attached to heaven get that sort of information.
CHELSEA
Oh.
CASTIEL
Maybe you're not supposed to know.
CHELSEA
Excuse me?
CASTIEL
I know your father left you and your mother before you were even born. You have such a high, yet low expectation for him. If he can't fulfil those expectations, maybe that would make you depressed. Maybe life doesn't want you depressed, because you have more important things to worry about.
CHELSEA
You know, for a messed up angel, you're pretty smart.
CASTIEL
Thank you, I think.
INSIDE KELLY'S HOUSE
KELLY
Sorry for the mess, I can never keep this place clean.
DEAN
Oh, that's okay.
KELLY
What do you want? I already told the police everything.
SAM
Something new came up, so we need to ask a few questions.
KELLY
Uh, sure. I wasn't much help though.
SAM
We heard. You say that Superman killed her?
KELLY
Yeah. Kind of ironic though.
DEAN
How so?
KELLY
She was trying to get superhero comics out of libraries. She said they were too violent. Pfft. She was just being over protective.
SAM
Interesting. Has there been anyone new around town? Someone who's a little suspicious?
KELLY
(confused)
Not really. I mean, Brittany came just a few days ago.
DEAN
Brittany who?
KELLY
She works at Always 25.
DEAN
Tall, blonde, nice... you know.
KELLY
Oh...
DEAN
But I'm not- what I mean is- I don't know.
KELLY
Yeah, we're talking about the same person.
DEAN
Yeah...
SAM
So Brittany just moved here?
KELLY
Yup. She came here to start over, something about her boyfriend cheating on her or whatever.
DEAN
That dick.
KELLY
Totally, right?
DEAN
Thanks, you've been a good help.
KELLY
Oh, no problem.
SAM and DEAN start to walk away
KELLY
I'm sorry, it's none of my business, I know. But are you guys a couple?
SAM
What?
DEAN
Totally. Come on, sweetie.
SAM forces a smile, as KELLY chuckles. SAM follows DEAN out.
SAM
Dean!
DEAN
Let me ask you this, how come everyone thinks we're together? We're just brothers! Or, sisters I guess.
SAM and DEAN get in the car with CHELSEA and CASTIEL
CHELSEA
So, did you find out anything more?
DEAN
The girl that helped you out at Always 25 is suspicious. I think we should check her out.
CHELSEA
You mean Brittany?
DEAN
Oh, you're friends with her now, huh?
CHELSEA
No, I can read name tags.
DEAN
Oh. Whatever.
SAM
It makes sense though, Brittany was chewing gum when we saw her, and the garbage at the desk was full of candy wrappers.
CHELSEA
Look at Sammy, being observant.
They drive off
INT. GREAT BARRINGTON, MA – MOTEL – NIGHT
SAM is in the shower, while DEAN and CHELSEA are watching tv
DEAN
You mean to tell me that parents put their kids in these
DEAN (CONT'D)
skanky outfits, and then expect them to win tiaras?
CHELSEA
Totally.
DEAN
It's so stupid.
(OFFSCREEN) Toddlers and Tiaras Mom
Turn for momma sweetheart! Show them what you got! You go!
DEAN
Yet, it's so intriguing.
CHELSEA
I know.
We hear the credits roll, and DEAN shuts off the tv
DEAN
So what's your story?
CHELSEA
Excuse me? I already told me-
DEAN
You told me jack-squat. You told me what your full name is, you're a slayer, and that you're running away from the watchers. What are some other things? Why are you running away?
CHELSEA
I don't wanna talk about it.
DEAN
Well that's just too damn bad, 'cause you see we need to trust each other. I can't trust you if I don't even know your story.
CHELSEA sighs, and looks at DEAN. She finally decides that she can trust him
CHELSEA
You know those vampires back there? The ones that little girl ghost killed?
DEAN
Sure.
CHELSEA
They killed my mom.
Silence
DEAN
You never told me that.
CHELSEA
You're the first person I told, haha. Woah, that feels weird getting off my chest.
DEAN
Were you there? When she died?
CHELSEA
They made me watch.
DEAN
So when you said that you recognized that one vamp-
CHELSEA
Her image was burned into my brain.
DEAN
I know where you're coming from-
CHELSEA
No, you don't!
DEAN
Now hold on a second. You keep interrupting me, we're not gonna get anywhere. You know everything about me, that might be for sure, but do you know everything about me, coming from me? I saw my mother die, and that day has been plaguing me ever since. I still have nightmares about it. I've never told anyone, and Sam thought I outgrew them, but I didn't. You think I don't know where you're coming from, just because I was 5 when it happened? You're so wrong.
CHELSEA
I'm sorry.
DEAN
That's okay. You only know what you know from a textbook. Wait, are there textbooks about me?
(CHELSEA nods her head, yes)
Sweet. See, I think we've bonded.
CHELSEA
Yeah.
DEAN
Now, better start getting ready for bed. I'm beat.
CHELSEA
Dean?
DEAN
Yeah?
CHELSEA
Thanks. For listening I mean. And for wanting to listen.
DEAN
(smiling)
No problem. Goodnight.
CHELSEA
Goodnight.
CHELSEA lies in bed and falls asleep. DEAN looks at her sleeping, and smiles.
INT. GREAT BARRINGTON, MA – MALL – NOON
DEAN, SAM, CHELSEA, and CASTIEL are in the mall. They're looking around, trying to find Always 25.
DEAN
There!
(DEAN points out Always 25)
They all run to the store, and find the store manager, BRAD, right away.
CHELSEA
Hey,
(reading name tag)
Brad, where's Brittany?
BRAD
Friends of hers?
CHELSEA
You could say that, yeah.
BRAD
I'm so sorry, but Brittany just quit her job yesterday. Said something about her mother being ill and needing to move back home.
CHELSEA
Really?
BRAD
Yes, so very sorry.
DEAN
Would you happen to have her home address?
BRAD
Who are you?
DEAN
I'm Deanna, and these are my sisters, Chelsea, Samantha, and Cassie.
CHELSEA stifles laughter, while SAM and CASTIEL roll their eyes
DEAN
We know Brittany from, uh, Karate class.
BRAD
I didn't know Brittany took Karate.
CHELSEA
Oh yeah! Practically a black belt.
BRAD
She was always light on her feet. Let me just find her address on my phone.
(he takes out his iPhone)
Aweee! Look! It's my cats! That's Pheobe, that's Rachel, that's Joey, that's-
DEAN
Are you by any chance a Friends fan?
BRAD
How can you tell?
DEAN
Observant, is all.
BRAD
I see.
(scrolls through his phone)
She lives on 115 John Street. Do you need directions?
CHELSEA
It's okay, we have a GPS.
CHELSEA pulls everyone away, and they run out of the store
CHELSEA
Castiel! Pop us to 115 John Street!
CASTIEL
Of course.
Everyone holds hands, and they disappear
INT. GREAT BARRINGTON - BRITTANY'S APARTMENT – AFTERNOON
They pop out of nowhere, and everyone except for CASTIEL is looking around, a little in shock. BRITTANY comes up behind them with a gun.
BRITTANY
Who the Hell are you guys?
They all turn around slowly
SAM
Hello?
BRITTANY
Oh, it's you guys. Don't like the new setting?
DEAN
So it was you!
BRITTANY
Of course it was me! I really hope you guys figured this one out fast, 'cause I left a pretty suspicious trail.
CASTIEL
Why did you turn us into women?
BRITTANY
Why not? Also, I think Team Free Will needed some girl power.
DEAN
You know, sometimes feminists piss me off.
CHELSEA
That explains why I didn't turn into a guy.
BRITTANY
Well, that and you're the slayer. I'm actually scared of you.
CHELSEA
Seriously? Aweeh yeah, earnin' the street cred.
BRITTANY
More like the slayers before you earned street cred. Where's your watcher, by the way? Did the slayer rebel and run away?
CHELSEA
You don't know me.
BRITTANY
I know that your mom got viciously killed by vampires.
CHELSEA
You son of a-
(CHELSEA is about to hurt BRITTANY)
BRITTANY flicks her wrist, and they're all tied up in rope
BRITTANY
Hey now, violence is never the answer.
CHELSEA
It may not be the answer, but hey, it helps.
BRITTANY
I love slayers, they're just so spunky.
SAM
Why did you bring us here?
BRITTANY
I just wanted to marvel at my handiwork, and then kill you all.
DEAN
Kill the Winchesters?
(he looks over at CASTIEL and CHELSEA)
And an angel and slayer?
BRITTANY
Of course! To be able to say that you killed the Winchesters, a slayer, and an angel with one stone, it gives you
(quoting CHELSEA)
"street cred".
DEAN
Son of a bitch, you really think that you're gonna take us down?
BRITTANY
I really do. Look whose all tied up at the moment. I wouldn't talk if I were you.
CHELSEA takes out her pocket knife, and starts to cut the rope. DEAN sees what she's doing, so "she" urges BRITTANY on
DEAN
Did you know Loki? Or Gabriel, whichever one.
BRITTANY
What do you know of Loki?
DEAN
I know that he's dead.
BRITTANY
Seriously?
DEAN
Yeah, he was actually an archangel. Funny story.
BRITTANY
That is strange.
DEAN
Yeah, totally.
CHELSEA breaks free of the ropes, and kicks BRITTANY in the face. They fight, and CHELSEA gets thrown on a table, breaking it. She then takes a piece of wood broken from the table, and plunges it into BRITTANY's heart. She gags, and falls to the floor, dead. The ropes on DEAN, SAM, and CASTIEL disappear. They all change back to their normal, boy-ish selves. They all look around at each other, and see a mirror. They all run to it, and heave a sigh of relief. DEAN looks at CHELSEA, as she holds the stake, panting.
DEAN
Woah, you're like a real slayer now.
CHELSEA
What are you talking about?
DEAN
You have a stake? And just- never mind.
INT. GREAT BARRINGTON – MOTEL – LATE AFTERNOON
DEAN, SAM, and CHELSEA are packing up clothes
DEAN
It sucks when they use your pain against you, huh?
CHELSEA
What? Oh, back there with Brittany talking about my mom's death? It's no big deal.
DEAN
Yeah, well, it's okay. We're here for you.
CHELSEA
Thanks.
DEAN
No problem. Oh, and I've been meaning to ask you this. I know it's none of my business. But your mom died, where was your dad throughout all of this?
CHELSEA
I don't know.
DEAN
What do you mean you don't know?
CHELSEA
I mean, I don't know. My dad left my mom when she was pregnant with me. I don't know who my dad is.
CHELSEA takes her bags, and walks out of the motel. DEAN stands there, in shock.