After the previous chapter, this one is a bit, shall we say, rough around the edges. I was reading my old Scott&Bailey fanfics earlier, and realised those ones were better that this as well, so... Anyway, I digress.

Special thanks to GirlonaBridge for the constantly lovely reviews, they make my day ;')

Be prepared for an incident with Kevin and a kettle, which leads to plenty of jealousy on the cards for Gill O_o

Gill sat staring at her phone. Rachel Bailey. Her voice just a click away; all Gill had to do was hit 'call' with a long scarlet fingernail, and she'd hear her voice. Actually, maybe she wouldn't; maybe Rach would just hang up, and she wouldn't blame her either. Even a what the fuck do you want? would be enough for Gill – just to know Rachel was there, somewhere.

How stupid she sounded, how young and naïve.

Julie Dodson. The phone rang eight times before her best friend answered; she didn't speak, and so deep silence hung between them for a long time. Gill could almost hear Julie's thinking, could almost see the anger in her eyes, but also the concern.

"Hiya, slap," Gill said eventually.

"What the hell is going on, Gill?"

"I, um."

"What? You've ignored me for days, like I've done something wrong, only I know I haven't," her voice was bitter, "And now you ring up late at night and pretend nothing's wrong?"

"I'm not pretending nothing's wrong. Nothing's right."

"Are you pissed?"

"You know what? I wish I was."

"Are you crying?"

Gill leant over the sink a little further, trying to hold the phone steady against her ear, trying to get the smell of vomit out of her nose and throat and mind, "Have you got any onions?"

"The expression is 'have you lost your onions?', I believe. And I think that's a question I should be asking you."

"No, I- I mean it. Sammy's been sick everywhere, all over the new carpet in the lounge, all over me. My mum always used to put onions in the room, if I'd been sick. I don't know why – something about the smell? Maybe it wasn't even onions; I don't know. I just- shit."

"Sammy? Is he okay?"

"I don't know."

"Okay," Julie said quietly, briskly. The way she did when she was working, very efficient, very professional. "I'll come over. I'll bring some onions, if you'd like me to, because they always taste shit in Shepherd's pie anyway. Do you need anything else?"

Gill wiped her eyes. Yes, but I can't have her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- things have been hard, at work. There's stuff... I'm sorry."

"I'll be over in a few minutes."

XxXxX

"Coffee, Ma'am?"

"Thank you, Kevin," Julie smiled as he leant across to fill her mug from the kettle he was holding. The table shifted position, and he lost his balance and splashed water over her hand.

"Are you okay?" Gill and Rachel spoke over one another.

Janet jumped up to get a cloth; there was nothing around to use, so she grabbed the whiteboard cleaner from the shelf and mopped up the spillage with that instead.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I didn't mean..." Kevin stammered, looking petrified. She'd smiled at him, for the first time in... well, ever... and he'd repaid her with a burn? "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright, Kev," Janet told him gently.

"Come across here," Rachel crossed the room and turned on the tap, gesturing to the running water, "You need to cool it down."

"That looks bad," Mitch muttered.

"Thank you for the running commentary," Gill snapped, chewing her nails as Janet helped Julie across the room and the three women fussed around the sink, splashing the water over the DCI's hand.

"Thank you," Julie was saying to them now.

Gill tore a strip of skin from her finger and tasted blood as she watched. Rachel was smiling, and she'd just put her arm around Julie to support her. Shit, she was practically hugging her, like they were best friends or something; they were both smiling now, and granted, Julie looked as though she was about to faint, but that didn't really matter, because Rachel Bailey had her arm around her waist.

"You alright, Boss?"

It took her a moment to realise that Lee was speaking to her, "Mm. Yes, sorry. Just tired – I was up all night with Sammy; he was being sick."

"Aw, is he okay now?"

She nodded. She'd forced her exhaustion away, but now she sank down at the head of the table and watched Rachel and Julie chattering as they hunted through the first aid kit, and felt as though she wanted to sleep forever.

If she turned into a fat old toad, would Rachel kiss her to break the spell? Shivers ran down her spine at the mere suggestion; she chastised herself mentally for being so naïve. It didn't make life any easier when you had to work with the people you fantasized about, so why didn't she discipline herself? Rachel wasn't interested. Rachel was marrying Sean, for Christ's sake.

"I'm fine, thank you, Gill," Julie sat back down at the table, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Sorry, I..."

"Here, keep your hand still," Rachel lectured, taking Julie's fingers in hers, undoing the cap on the cream and massaging it into the skin, "Seriously, you're like a little kid. Stop wriggling."

"Sorry, Boss," Julie smirked.

Gill had always seen Rachel as a rough, no-nonsense kind of girl. She'd throw criminals to the floor and jump on them without pause for consideration; she'd inspect bodies and not throw up the king-size bar of Galaxy chocolate she'd just eaten.

Now she was being so gentle and considerate it made Gill want to scream. She wasn't sure which was more attractive; the tomboy, sarcastic, brave Rachel, or the smiling, soft, sensitive Rachel. Both were pretty damn nice in Gill's book.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," Kevin mumbled again.

"Oh, it's okay, Kevin. Heart of gold beneath the clumsiness, right?" she held out her mug again, and he filled it gratefully.

Gill didn't miss the smile pass between Rachel and Kevin as they both remembered their past conversations. If I had a dog that ugly, I'd shave its arse and train it to walk backwards.

"Here, pass me the Love Hearts from over there, Jan?"

"Yeah yeah, Doctor," Janet grinned and gave handed the tube of sweets to her best friend, "Think we all need some sugar; it's bloody early."

Nobody had noticed the tray of biscuits Gill had laid out in the middle of the desk, then. Nobody ever noticed anything she did. It was all taken for granted: oh, Gill's the boss, she does all of this stuff, we'll just let her work her arse off and do nothing to help.

Oh, just listen to her. Jealous bitch.

"Do you want one, Gill?" Rachel turned around to her boss, held out the roll of sweets slightly. Before Gill's heart could leap fully into her throat, the DC moved her hand back again. "Oh, sorry, I forgot; you don't eat sweets before midday, do you? Always telling me off for eating my Aero yogurts – you reckon we should all have cereal bars, right?"

Janet and Julie, both chomping on their Love Hearts, smirked.

Gill tried to laugh it off, but her eyes were pricking with tears, and she knew it. "I need to ring Sammy, see if he's okay."

Nobody even seemed to notice her leave. She pulled down the blinds around her office, then sank down at the desk and buried her head in her hands. She'd read the message on the sweet Rachel had offered her, and that was what hurt more than anything else, because she knew for certain now that it wasn't true.

I love you, on that little pink sweet. Oh, God.

XxXxX