A/N: Here you go, a new chapter. Merry late Christmas.
Chapter 5: Punch Your Lights Out
After a deliciously satisfying hunt, the first good one he'd had since this whole debacle started, Loki decided to actually honour his promise and stop messing around.
Asking about Steve would attract attention, seeing as he'd just turned up out the blue, so he concentrated very hard and tried to scent him out over the reek of human blood that filled the halls.
The second floor, in a locked cell. Steve was asleep, and weak from lack of blood. A guard was stationed outside, but Loki could sense his fatigue, so maybe he could be tricked.
Loki was a liar. It had always been his strength, playing tricks and acting his way out of the tight corners his life had squeezed him into, and when all else failed - which really only applied to Stark, who was a little too clever for comfort - giving into the temptation and simply fucking the human.
In this case, all he really had to do was have a look at what they were doing. He put on his most casual saunter and wandered nonchalantly upstairs.
The vamp guarding the door glared suspiciously at him as he approached. "What do you want, Burison?"
"Laufeyson," Loki said, cursing his name and everything associated with it. "Are you not a little tired?"
"Well, yeah, but I have to stay here." The vampire said, scratching his head thoughtfully.
"Take an hour's rest. I can keep things up here." Loki said, spooning on his most persuasive tone.
"Why would you do that, Liesmith?"
"Call it the goodness of my heart, if I had one." Loki shrugged. "If you worry about me doing anything untoward, you should know I hate this human more than the rest of them. He continues to hunt me even as I slip his net."
"Don't eat him, then. He belongs to our lord the Alpha." The vampire said warningly.
"I wouldn't dream of it." Loki said honestly.
"I'll be back in an hour." As the vampire turned to leave, Loki's face split into a grin. Excellent.
Within a few minutes, Loki had picked the lock using support wire from his leather jacket and snuck in.
He crossed the room to the narrow cot where the large man was slumped, asleep.
"Rogers," Loki hissed, shaking Steve's shoulder while glancing behind him to make sure the door was closed.
Steve stirred but didn't wake up. He was surprisingly weak and pale from blood loss.
"Rogers, you imbecile, wake up or Stark will have my head." Loki growled, shaking harder.
"Tony?" Steve murmured.
"No, you moron." Loki said.
Steve blearily opened his blue eyes. "Loki?!" he gasped, shocked by how much blood Loki hadn't cleaned out of his teeth.
"Yes, obviously." Loki said irritably. "Look, Stark and I are working together to aid your escape, so I needed to warn you for when we come, probably within the next day. Despite what you may think, I am not the spawn of Satan, merely the spawn of Eve, so you may trust me."
"Trust you?" Steve snorted. "You're just a rogue vamp who Tony likes because you're willing to, uh, fondue with him."
Loki could have punched him. He was sick of not being trusted. "Shut your mouth before I fuck it, Rogers. I made a deal with Stark that I fully intend to keep, and either you trust me or I leave you here to have your essence leeched by these bloodsuckers without regret. Is that clear?"
Steve pondered that for a minute before nodding.
"Good." Loki said sharply. "Quite frankly, we have no clue. At the moment I am planning to spirit you out the window, but that is subject to change. It will probably be done in broad daylight to give us a better chance of escape. Aside from that, you may as well guess."
"...Okay." Steve said edgily.
"Excellent. Now, can you fall back asleep or do I need to punch you in the skull?" Loki asked.
"I can sleep." Steve winced as Loki smirked and left the room, making sure to lock it and stand guard until the other vampire came back and relieved him.
-O.O-
Now all Loki had to do was leave.
Given a choice, he would have beheaded everyone and stormed out, but unfortunately that lacked subtlety.
Instead he put on a perfect act of asking the female vampire who'd let him in if there were any humans within smelling distance - knowing full well that Tony, Natasha and Clint were all disguised - and then cautiously making his way out after thanking her.
He strolled nonchalantly down the driveway before breathing in to scent the all too familiar smell of the battered Corolla and the bottle of surprisingly expensive scotch that Tony hid in his glovebox. They were a few kilometres away, much to Loki's irritation, so he set off in a steady run to get there. He really needed to buy a phone.
-O.O-
Tony had decided that he'd give Loki a few hours to come back. I mean, Loki had put up with so much of his shit recently that he was probably just taking some time. Right?
Leaving Natasha to sit awake like a hyper-aware owl, Tony and Clint both drifted off to have a nap while they waited.
Natasha managed a moment's warning, smacking Tony awake, before Loki was knocking on the door slightly breathlessly.
Tony's quota for girly screeching had been exceeded and then some in the last few days, but somehow Loki's aquiline face appearing unexpectedly just terrified him for a second. It was embarrassing.
Then Clint woke up with a yelp and Loki smirked his shit-eating smirk at the pair of them.
"May I come in, or should I stay out here?" Loki said dryly. Tony smiled at him and unlocked the doors.
"See, guys?" Tony said as Loki folded his gangly limbs into the back seat. "I told you he'd be back."
"Yeah, great, he didn't run away." Clint said darkly. "Let's get out of here."
"I find your lack of faith...disturbing." Loki said in a sinister tone, and even Clint had to crack a grin at the Star Wars reference.
-O.O-
It didn't take too long for Loki to fill everyone in on where Steve was and how Loki planned to get him out.
"But, before all that," He finished. "You all need rest and sustenance, and I could do with the former, so we should return to our respective accommodations."
Clint and Natasha were staying in the same place as Tony and Loki, so they parted ways to have a much needed sleep at the grand time of 6am. The sun was sneaking over the horizon and making Loki downright bitchy.
Loki skipped his usual flirtatious shit that he did whenever he saw Tony near a flat surface an instead curled up on his bed for a much deserved sleep.
-O.O-
"Plan of attack." Loki said, watching a man's jugular as he sat at the front of the diner. "Do we have one?"
"Not so much." Clint said, munching a burger with enthusiasm. "What're you thinking, Dracula?"
"I am thinking my plan is so far the best one, unless Natasha has one hidden in her cleavage." Loki said.
Natasha glared at him for that one.
"Well, excuse me. I do not know where else one would conceal a plan." Loki said.
"In their brain?" Tony said through a mouthful of turducken.
"Meh." Loki said boredly. "Do any of you have any better ideas?"
There was a collective head shake.
"Excellent. Well, it is 10 now, and the sun will be at the best angle at around 2. Reload your weapons, ineffective as they are, bring a knife or three, and your very best smiles." Loki said, pulling his wide-brimmed hat over his face. "Stark, come with me. I want you to buy me a phone."
"Hold up! I haven't finished this yet!" Tony protested, waving the burger.
"Eat it quickly before I eat you." Loki said, extending his fangs a little and smirking.
"Well..." Tony said with a lascivious grin. "That isn't a half bad idea."
"Oh, how very forward of you." Loki said with a sarcastic swoon.
Clint cleared his throat. "Do I really have to watch this?"
"Yes." Tony and Loki said simultaneously.
"Just go." Clint groaned, waving a hand on the door.
Tony decided to take his burger and leave before the pissed off look on Natasha's face escalated to actual violence, Loki making sure he was covered by his baggy sweatshirt and hat before following.
"Do you still have the syringe?" Clint asked.
"Of course." Natasha said, pulling the dead man's blood from a concealed pouch in her jacket. She had plenty of weaponry hidden on her at all times, a fact that had surprised more than one monster so far.
"Good." Clint said. "I have a feeling we're gonna need it." For what, he didn't specify.
-O.O-
Loki got his phone, much to his delight. "Excellent. I do not have anyone to call, but you never know when I may need to prank-dial somebody."
"Eh, you can call me." Tony said, reaching over the armrest in the car and programming his number in.
"In case something goes wrong with my witness protection?" Loki said.
"Nah. Text me any time. You're a good conversation." Tony shrugged, starting up the Corolla and making for the motel. "I'm actually rather glad I didn't kill you when I had the chance."
"It's rather pathetic that that is the most pleasant thing that has been said to me for quite some time." Loki said dully.
"Well, you have been a little isolated." Tony said. "You'll be in a neighborhood with people and stuff soon; you can go to libraries and the suchlike. I mean, you're really smart, you'll be able to actually do some learning and stuff."
"Are you calling me uneducated?" Loki teased.
"Me? Never. But you can never know enough, right?" Tony replied. "Can't be fun living in cabins and having, like, eleven books."
"No, it's not." Loki concurred. "I was a little short of alternatives."
"Well, you're going to have somewhere to go." Tony said, a little gloomy at the thought of hiding Loki away and not having him here. He pulled into the motel parking lot. "Right, sunshine, I'm gonna catch another nap while we have a few hours to kill."
"Are you now?" Loki said innocently. As soon as they were in the door, Loki shoved him onto his bed and straddled him. "I have a different idea."
Tony laughed as he gently kissed Loki's jaw. "Oh, really? What is it?"
Loki gave a possessive growl and bit at Tony's jaw. "Take a guess, oh exalted genius." He said lowly, smirking in a satisfied way.
"Okay, well, try not to bite." Tony said, trying to keep away from Loki's sharp teeth.
"Crybaby." Loki snorted.