"You want me to do what now?" Genkai asked wearily as she stepped out onto the porch with Ayumi and Botan.
"I need help figuring out which powers I have," I replied timidly.
"She had a vision in her sleep about acquiring the power of immortality," Botan offered with more confidence than me.
"So… you want me to shoot you?" Genkai asked raising an eyebrow.
"More or less," Botan answered for me, "None of the boys will help. We've asked Kurama, Yusuke and Kuwabara and we can't even find Hiei, although Ayumi's sure she can sense him somewhere around here."
Genkai looked me up and down, "Well then what are we doing sitting around wasting time," she mused and stepped down off of the porch into one of her gardens. This one was a nice plain yard with a pond in the middle filled with all colors and sizes of koi fish. About twelve feet away from the pond was the end of the yard and the beginning of a forest. The sun shined bright in the cloudless afternoon sky. Genkai turned back to me, "Well hurry up and go across the pond, I don't have all day."
Something in me obeyed without thought as I ran to the other side of pond, it was probably caused by her "fuck with me and I'll make you regret it" tone. Why am I doing this? Before asking Genkai to help, Botan informed me of her technique called the Spirit Wave which could cure any damage she did to me. As I turned to face Genkai from across the pond my stomach began to turn. Is she really about to shoot me? I wonder how bad this is going to hurt… It's probably too late to be having second thoughts, isn't it?
Kurama and Yusuke came out on cue and stood next to Botan, "Hey grandma! You aren't seriously going to shoot her, are you?!" Yusuke yelled.
"Well since you're too chicken to do anything around here, I guess so," She taunted with her sarcastic, raspy voice. Kurama sighed but no one else seemed to notice. These guys aren't very observant with each other.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here on the other side of the damn pond waiting to be blasted into Timbuktu! What the hell am I doing? Before I could continue my internal dialog I saw a flash of blue light and then I was being thrown backwards into the forest. Everything was black except for the moments of impact with tree trunks. I don't know when I stopped being in the air and back on the ground face first. I couldn't see, hear, or feel anything. I tasted blood. Then I heard feet running towards me and my vision started to come back. I sat staring at Genkai, Botan, Kurama, and Yusuke running towards me. As they approached I figured out where the rest of my body was and tried to lift myself up. I failed but managed to get myself onto my back. I stared up at the trees around me and the sun shining through them. Then the pain started to set in. I am never asking someone to try and kill me again… Jesus Christ this sucks…
"Are you alright?" Botan asked innocently as she knelt down beside me. My body felt like it had been soaked in lighter fluid and then set of fire. I was in so much pain I couldn't see straight. I couldn't breathe. I just stared at Botan through the haze of pain.
Kurama was the next person to speak, "I think the more appropriate question is, so are you satisfied with testing your immortality?"
"I think I should be dead," I muttered.
"Ha," Genkai offered as she knelt down and pulled back her sleeves.
"Oh?" He sounded like he was teasing but looked irritated. That look he has is probably the one I was always afraid of getting back when I was just a "drycleaners girl".
"I can feel my lungs filling with blood," I found myself smiling up at the sky with my eyes shut. This is so incredibly fucked up! it's kind of funny… I can't even die… even if I wanted to. But holy fuck does it hurt!
Genkai placed her hands over my chest and a blue aura formed around them and started seeping into my body. I instantly became numb. I could hear Yusuke and Botan talking but couldn't make out what they were saying. I started to look around, I felt cut off from the rest of the world. I eventually found Kurama frowning down at me and stared back up at him. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. Why was he so mad? I'm ok aren't I?
My heart started beating again. It was so loud it startled me. Not even seconds after, I could feel oxygen entering my lungs again. It hurt almost as bad to get them back as it did to lose them. I'm sure I made some groaning noises but my heartbeat was so loud it even drowned out Botan and Yusuke's chit-chat. I looked back to see Kurama still watching intently. Ok, what the FUCK are you staring at me for?! By the time Genkai was done healing me and I felt the way I did three minutes ago, I was pissed… and I don't even know why. Yusuke offered a hand to help me up and I took it eagerly.
"How's it feel to die?" he teased.
"Pretty fucking shitty," I humored.
Yusuke burst into laughter, "Tell me about it!"
"Now that I've satisfied your sick desire, I'm going back to my video game," Genkai groaned sarcastically as she walked away.
"Thank you!" I replied awkwardly. Obviously still not good with these manner type things…
"Ooh! Hey! Let me play too!" Yusuke ran after Genkai.
I laughed, "Ok then…" I sighed after they were gone and patted my torso. My stomach was filled with a tingly sensation and sore. My entire body felt like it was shaky still.
Botan waved her hand in front of my face, "Are you ok?" she asked worriedly.
"Oh, uhh… yeah," I cleared my throat. "I mean, yes. I just need some time to think about things now. Still getting used to the reality shift, you know?"
She gave a forced little giggle, "Ok, just let me know if you need anything," and she went off somewhere, I wasn't paying enough attention to where.
Now the only person left to get rid of is Kurama… this is going to be interesting… I turned to face him but before I had finished the motion my subconscious pulled me towards a path in the woods. "I'm… going to go for a walk," my voice filled the silence awkwardly as I stumbled to learn how to walk again.
I heard him sigh again, "I thought you had a developing fear of silence," he managed to throw out calmly and sarcastically.
"I seem to have a lot of developing side effects lately," I retorted, or tried to. I was still obviously disoriented all together from being shot with spirit energy hard enough to die… and did so, minus the unconsciousness and the soul separating from my body thing. I quickened my pace and felt his presence distance itself from me as I walked. The forest was quiet, not even a breeze that rattled the leaves. The silence slowly worked my nerves as I tried to digest everything. And Kurama's life story wasn't making it any easier. Well, I managed to make it an entire ten minutes without thinking about it… What the fuck was that look he had earlier? Come to think of it, why do these guys still intimidate me?
"You sure have a funny way of thinking things out…"
And now there are voices inside of my head…
"Hn. Fool…"
GO AWAY HIEI!
"Quiet your thoughts; they're too damn loud to be ignored."
I fucking hate you...
"Good."
I fumed for a minute until I realized I couldn't sense him anymore. Did he really leave? That's a relief… I spotted a stream running through the woods and walked towards it. It was quiet, just the occasional small splash from the minnows swimming up it. I sat down on a fallen log with a sigh and rested my head in the palm of my hands. The sunlight reflected off of the water like a thousand miniature suns. I don't think I remember a time when it's been this quiet. I grew up in the city and have never really left it. The constant drone of cars, people, music, and sirens becomes numb after so long. But it was truly quiet here in the forest in the mountains that were far away from civilization. It was relaxing in a hypnotizing way.
I don't know how long I sat there tossing between my situation and getting over Kurama's traumatizing past before I realized I had completely spaced out. What snapped me out of my thoughts was a slowly tightening knot in my stomach. It was similar to feeling the presence of Hiei but very different at the same time. I knew from that much information that someone, or something, was there with me. This realization made me instantly sick to my stomach as I began to look for the source. As I stood up, I started to hear leaves rustling and turned to see something headed for me at full speed. As it dipped between the shadows of the trees and the beams of light I started to understand what it was. A demon…
I froze. What the hell am I supposed to do? Why is it here? Should I run? Or scream for help? Or fuck! He was getting close fast so I decided to run, tripping over the log in the process. I threw my hands out to break my fall and quickly tried to get back up.
He started laughing, probably because he was satisfied with how easy it was going to be for him to eat me, and slowed his pace to chat. I wasn't paying attention though, I was too busy finding my balance and trying to run again before his voice seemed to be right in my ear. "You're too easy to find," is all I heard before my sight went red and I was back on the ground. I looked up in time to see Kurama pull out his… rose? I honestly shouldn't be surprised, but sadly… I am. My mind quickly turned back to the last thing I heard. "You're too easy to find…" What the hell does that mean? As I sat there for the split second, that seemed more like an hour, my stomach grew nauseous to the demon's words.
Kurama said something quickly and his weapon actually became a weapon. I watched as his rose transformed into a green whip with thorns in a blink of an eye. Is he seriously fighting with plants?
"Wait!" I heard myself say as I stood back up. To my surprise Kurama and the demon both stopped advancing on each other. I honestly didn't think they were going to listen so I kind of stood there dumbfounded when they did.
"What is it?" Kurama replied in a rushed manner.
"Oh… um…" I honestly wasn't prepared for this… "That guy said that I was too easy to find. What does that mean?" I'm an idiot…
"We can discuss it later, Ayumi," Kurama answered dryly as the demon chuckled. The demon started to say something but when I looked at him the laughing had stopped and his head was on the ground.
"…ok then… um… does this qualify as later now?" I said stupidly as I stared at the now magically beheaded demon. Maybe plant weapons aren't as gay as I thought…
Kurama gave me a warm smile and walked up to study whether I had been hurt or not. The kindness of the smile was creepy considering he just killed someone… something… I don't know, I give up on trying to be literarily correct! "Yes, I can explain what he said now," he finally replied.
I sighed and sat back down on the log resting my head on my hands. Kurama sat down on the log as well and put away his weapon, "When your body is at rest it seems to give off an aura that draws demons to it."
I stared up at him, "So… I'm a demon magnet on top of all this?"
His mouth twitched upwards for a second, "Pretty much. My theory is that because you have so many of the oracle's powers and your father practically has the rest, they're trying to call to each other. The demons just happen to pick up the wave length and want to know what it is."
"Oh that's just fucking great," I let my head fall so my fingers slid up into my hair, "I'm a god damn beacon now."
"I wouldn't be too worried about it," Kurama offered.
"Why not?"
"Because you've had this aura since before we started this mission a few weeks ago."
"Then why is this the first I'm hearing of it? Is this not important?"
"The demons that had honed in on you were lurking and waiting when we came along and we've been silently killing them behind your back so you wouldn't have to worry about them."
"What made them go from lurking to attacking?"
"The strength of the aura from the amount of power you've been acquiring these last couple of days."
"And knowing all this, you let me wonder out into the forest?"
He let a small laugh slip, "You think I'd really let you go anywhere without Yusuke, Hiei, or myself?"
I sighed and the world grew quiet again. The forest around us had darker tones of browns and greens now and the sun only had an hour or so before falling below the horizon. We sat in the silence for a few minutes before the silence started to get to me again. "What the hell am I supposed to do?" I didn't mean to say it out loud and I felt retarded after saying it.
Kurama took his time replying, "The only thing you can do, keep going."
For some reason that made me feel better about everything. I guess I just needed to hear someone else say it out loud. After all these years of telling myself to just keep going, it never felt more impactful than it did when it came from someone else.
I wanted to break down after thinking about his response. I wanted to cry. I'm not much for crying, but I wanted to cry. I never imagined something exotic like this would break me down so much. As I child I used to daydream about throwing away reality and jumping into a supernatural fantasy, but this was not what I daydreamt about as a little girl. This, surprisingly, was still reality… and a fucked up, twisted one at that. My father, whom I haven't heard from in years, is coming to kill me. That is the ultimate reality. And it sucks.
I gulped and counted my breaths as I tried to calm myself down. I could feel Kurama still next to me, waiting patiently. I couldn't figure out if I wanted him to go away or say something to break the silence. Then I started thinking about the silence again, and as I've noticed, when I focus on the silence, I tend to say something without meaning to. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I guess…" I had to think about it but as soon as I started thinking, it came to me like a car hitting me in the face. I knew at that moment why I was so worked up. In my childhood dreams, I always had awesome powers and was able to defeat everything that stood in my way. In reality, I had no power to protect myself with… other than immortality, which has proven to be both useful and pretty fucking shitty at the same time. "I just feel… useless."
Kurama changed his posture and stayed quiet while thinking on what I said. "Why's that?" he finally asked.
I sighed, again, and sat up straight in fear of back pain from hunching over. "I can't do anything with my powers."
Kurama turned to study me, he does that often, "What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, the whole visions, telepathy, sixth sense, touching people thing, immortality…" I sighed, "I can't protect myself or anyone else with all that shit."
Kurama smiled wearily at me, "That's why we're here."
I buried my face into my hands, "That just makes me feel even more useless. I'm so useless I need a group of the world's most powerful people to protect me."
"Ayumi," Kurama paused, "Even if you could, do you think we'd let you? Our mission is to protect you and stop your father from getting your powers. I would think of it as a waiting game."
"A what?"
He tried not to smile, "A waiting game, you just have to stay with us and wait for the rest of the powers."
"Oh," I groaned, "I hate the waiting game more than anything!"
Kurama couldn't help but laugh this time, "Don't we all?"
I bit my tongue to keep from laughing but a smile still betrayed me. How did he do that? I just went from feeling pathetic to trying not to enjoy myself. I should just stop asking myself these types of questions…
Kurama stood up and extended his hand, "We should head back to the temple."
I took his hand and he helped me up. "Ok," I replied quietly and started following him through the forest. Soon all I could hear were our own footsteps. I guess Kurama got used to the fact that I don't like silence because he stroke up a conversation, one I really didn't want to have so I guess it was payback from the train ride and stealing his memories.
"What was your sister like?" I was totally not expecting that.
"Um… what?"
"Your sister, Rin. What was she like? You seemed to have cared a lot about her."
"Oh… uh…" Why does this conversation remind me of another one I had a few days ago? Oh yeah. The um's and uh's. Jeez, I sound completely incompetent when I make those sounds. "Well, she was my little sister. You know, normal sister stuff, I guess. I don't really remember much, she was still young when they disappeared so there wasn't an entirely developed personality yet. She liked watching the television a lot and always wanted me to play with her. I guess I kind of felt a need to be her role model since our parents weren't doing a very good job of it."
He digested what I said then asked another question, "What about your mom?"
This was difficult to respond to. "I… I don't remember her that well, she was a workaholic and I'm sure my father abused her. She slept a lot so I didn't see her much. I think I remember her death more than I remember her being in my life to tell the truth. I came home from school one day and she was hanging from the ceiling. Her wrists were slit and the blood covered most of the floor."
"I'm sorry," Kurama responded after a moment, "I didn't mean to—"
"It's ok," I replied quickly, "It wasn't really that traumatizing, I was so unfamiliar with my mother that it took me a second to realize who it was when I walked in on it." He didn't respond right away so I did the only thing I knew to do to avoid the silence. "The autopsy said it was suicide, but I always had my doubts. My father seemed unfazed by my mother's death and it wasn't long after it that he just left everything behind except my sister. I didn't even get a proper note, just a hand written document saying everything now belonged to me."
"I see," Kurama replied dimly. I grew quiet after that and the temple lights had been lit to evade the coming night.
"You didn't ask me about my father," I mocked being insulted.
"My apologies, would you like to talk about your father?" he responded with teasing intentions.
"No."
He gave a light laugh, "That's why I didn't ask," He paused and stopped walking and turned to me, "But now I'm curious."
"Damn," I replied half heartedly. "The funny thing is, during this conversation I realized why I've been feeling so useless and I bet it has something to do with him." Kurama lifted an eyebrow asking me to elaborate so I did, "Growing up I was always trying to get his approval through grades and stuff but he didn't care at all. He was on the verge of abusive towards my sister and me. He often used words like 'pathetic' and 'worthless' and 'you're wasting my time'. I think that's why I've been feeling that way… maybe… I don't know. I'm done talking about this." For some reason, the more I tried to explain, the more stupid I felt. So I stopped.
Kurama smiled at me, I'm assuming because of the last few things I said and not the father stuff. "That makes a whole lot more sense than you think it does," was his reply before someone from the temple spotted us.
A/N: Happy Holidays! Thank you for the reviews and follows! :D