Clears throat "Ahem, ladies, gentlemen, mammals, toads, horklumps, grindylows, trees. . ." Continues naming all matter around me until- "Will you get to the bloody announcement already? I been standing here for fourty-five minutes!" Clears throat again, glaring at the "gentlemen" "Yes, well, I'd like to say that I don't own Harry Potter and that JK Rowlings does." . . ."That's all? I stood here for fourty-five minutes to here you say that? What else is new?" Glares once more at the "gentlemen"
A/N: LoL, just to let you know "gentlemen's" real name is Smithy. . .Revised: 8/1/06
Song Lyrics: "Sk8ter Boi" by Avril Lavigne
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Chapter Four
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"Bludgers."
"Chocolate." Sirius replied.
"Chocolate? Why do you think of chocolate when you hear the word "Bludgers"?" Remus asked curiously.
The Marauders (Excluding Peter, who was at the owlery sending a letter telling his mother about his broken wand) were sitting in their dorm the next day about 5:15 (PM) being bored to death. So, they decided to play a fun game of one-person-says-a-word-then-the-other-person-says-what-comes-to-their-mind-first-when-the-word-was-said.
"Well, a lot of the time you get landed in the hospital wing when being around a bludger, which, of course, leads to sympathy and chocolate." Sirius said, eye glazing over at the thought of chocolate.
"What are you saying, Sirius? That you mean to get hit by bludgers? It would explain why you get hit so often." James said amused.
"Ah ha, ah ha, ah ha. That's funny, James." Sirius said dullfully to James. James chuckled.
Remus shook his head and continued,"Okay, Books."
"Sneezy and smelly."
"Sirius, how do you get sneezy from "books"? Sneezy isn't even a word!" Remus asked in disbelief.
"So? Books make me sneeze. Stop being so grammariticly correct." Sirius said breezily.
Remus huffed," "Grammariticly" isn't a word either, Sirius!"
"Oh, well. Okay, my turn. Alpha."
"Greek Alphabet."
"How do you come up with that?" Sirius said, scratching his head.
Remus rolled his eyes and chucked a disgusting flavored Bertie Bott's Bean into the trash bin,"Alpha is the first letter of the Greek alphabet. You didn't know that?"
"Of course, I did! I was just testing you. Yeah, you better be ready for your next test, it's coming soon, Remus. . .Soon." Sirius said mysteriously.
Remus held up his hands,"Oh! I'm so scared! I'm practically shaking in my shoes."
"You should be." Sirius said seriously.
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"Okay, how about. . .the number seven?" Sirius asked James ten minutes later.
"Quidditch."
Sirius and Remus groaned,"That the only answer you've gave us!"
James shrugged,"What can I say?"
"Let's try this again. . .lake."
"Quidditch." James said again.
"James, how can lake have anything to do with quidditch?" Remus asked in exasperation.
"The lake is close to the quidditch pitch." James reasoned.
"Whatever. Let's try. . .red. Oops, not a good one. Let me change that to-"
"Evans."
"What?" Remus and Sirius asked.
"Evans. Her hairs red. Or have you two not noticed over the past year or so?" James asked.
"We're so shocked. The only answer you given is quidditch for the entire hour we've played this stupid and pointless, yet amusing game." Remus pointed out.
James shrugged again,"As I said, Evans' hair is red, not hard to miss."
Sirius grinned slyly at James,"I bet it isn't, James." James glared and Sirius continued,"Anyways, let's see if we can get another answer other than quidditch out of you. Sleeping."
"Slughorn." James said, groaning.
Sirius tilted his head and then shook his head in a defeated manner,"I can't figure out how you get sleeping to go with Slughorn. They both start with an "S", but other than that. . .Oh, gross. I just thought of how else sleeping can go with Slughorn-"
"No, I mean Slughhorn's party. You know, for the Slug Club. The party starts at 6:00 (PM)."
Remus mouthed "oh", then looked at a clock hanging on the wall nearby,"It only takes about twenty minutes to get there; we don't have to leave for few more minutes." He responded calmly.
"Let's go. Beat the crowd, you know." James said standing up and walking to the door.
"What crowd, James?" Sirius asked slyly.
It was a common fact that there weren't "crowds" at Professor Slughorn's parties. Many people made up excuses to not be able to go. The Marauders ((excluded Remus)(and Peter because he wasn't in the club)) were one of those many.
"You know." James said off-handly.
"I'm not sure if I do. Please explain." Sirius replied, grinning at James.
"Yes, James why are you leaving early? You usually don't even go to the parties." Remus asked confused.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain red-head we all know, now would it?" Sirius asked slyly.
"This doesn't have anything to with Evans!" James said quickly.
"Ha!" Sirius exclaimed pointing a finger at James,"I didn't say Evans. I just said red-head. I could have meant that third year Hufflepuff."
"Why would you mean the third year Hufflepuff? I don't even know who the third year Hufflepuff is." James asked.
"That doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you admitted you were wrong."
"Sirius, that didn't make one bit of sense." James said.
"I know, I just liked saying it. Anyways, back to our little feisty firecracker." Sirius said standing up.
"You're actually going as well, Sirius?" Remus asked.
"Sirius shrugged,"Guess so. I wouldn't want to miss a classic Lils and Pothead row, now would I?"
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"Ah, Mr. Potter! Mr. Lupin, Mr. Black! Wonderful to see you!" Professor Slughorn said jovially as the three Marauders walked into Slughorn's classroom, were the party was.
"Hello, Professor Slughorn." Remus said.
"Hello, Professor." James said, looking around.
"Hey, Professor S." Sirius said, gazing longingly at a table of refreshments.
"It's wonderful to see you were able to make it, boys." The professor said once more, clapping Sirius on the back while he (Sirius) was eating a deviled egg, making him choke slightly.
"Y- Yes. Wonderful." Sirius muttered hoarsely.
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"Where is she?" James muttered to himself, searching the room fifteen minutes later.
"What was that, James?" Remus asked, amused.
"Oh, nothing." James said breezily.
"Turn to your left a little, James. She's over there talking to Alice." Remus said just as breezily.
"Okay, thanks." James said breezily once again, walking off to Lily.
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"You know, I had homework to finish and here I am at this party. I mean, I'm glad I can be apart of extracurricular activities, but I have other things to do rather than stand around eating carrot sticks and talking to people who's great great great great great great grandmother's father's cousin's friend's daughter's aunt's husband's great great great great great great great grandfather's mother's friend's sister's brother's great aunt, invented a smelly old potion." Lily said grumply.
Alice chuckled,"Try the fishsticks, they taste good."
Lily glared,"Try a carrot, they're just as good."
"No, the fishsticks are more fattening, so they taste better."
"So? Even if they are more fattening, doesn't mean they're better. Carrots are way better since they taste good and they're healthy for you. I think they're good for your eyes or something." Lily pointed out triumphly to Alice.
"I thought they were good for your hearing."Alice mused.
"No, they're good for your eyes-"
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"Where's James going?" Sirius asked Remus as they both watched him walk away from them.
He messed up his hair and Sirius knew where he was going then,"He's going to have a visit with Evans, isn't he?"
"Yep." Remus said grabbing a breadstick, only to find someone else had grabbed it. He looked over to find a second year Ravenclaw girl glaring at him,"This is my breadstick." She said tugging at the bread.
Remus tugged back at it,"I saw it first though, little girl."
"I am not little." The girl huffed and tugged at the breadstick again.
Sirius and Remus spoke at the same time:
"You're vertically challenged then, may I have my breadstick?" Remus asked politely, tugging harder on the breadstick.
"Lets face it: You're short." Sirius said, glancing in James' direction.
"I'm only twelve years old!" The girls said loudly,"Now, give me my breadstick!"
Sirius clapped Remus on the shoulder,"Good luck, mate. I'm heading over to see what James is up too." Then he turned to the girl,"Good luck, midget."
Sirius turned and walked off in James' direction, leaving Remus to battle against a miniature second year for a breadstick.
The question is. . .Who will win?
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"I'm telling you, carrots are good for your eyes-" Lily said again, but was cut off.
"Hey, Evans." A voice said from behind her.
Lily sighed and turned around,"Potter."
"James." Alice said politely.
"Hey gang!" Sirius said cheerfully slinging a arm around Alice and Lily,"Great party, eh? Just divine! Tried those cheese bites yet? They're simply darling."
Lily's eyes narrowed as she shook his arm off her shoulder; Alice pulled away also.
"Sirius, I'm going to pretend you didn't just say darling." James said. He shook his head and turned to Lily and Alice,"Fancy seeing you lot here. I didn't even know you came to these things." He lied.
"Cough-liar-cough." Sirius said.
"Are you alright, Sirius?" Alice asked.
"Oh yeah, just a little cough. Madame Pomfrey said it's contagious, but who cares?" Sirius said.
Alice and Lily back away quickly from Sirius.
"Er, yeah. Right, Sirius." James said.
Silence.
"James only came because you came, Evans." Sirius blurted.
Alice chuckled behind her hand and exchanged a look with Lily. Lily rolled her eyes.
James slapped the back of Sirius' head,"Sirius, why don't you go over and visit Remus. I'm sure he wants to chat. You two haven't talked in a while, have you?" He said through gritted teeth.
"I talked to him five minutes ago, James. Besides, he's fighting for a breadstick with a midget right now. Things could get bloody, so I'd prefer to stay out of it."
"Well, I think you can handle youself just fine, go visit him again." James said slowly.
"I told you I talked to him five minutes a-"
"Well, go visited him again!" James repeated quickly.
"Fine, fine. It will be your fault if I don't come out alive." Sirius said walking back over to Remus and the girl.
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James watched him walk off anxiously, then turned back to Lily and Alice. "Hee hee. So. . ." James trailed off nervously, before grabbing a cup of butterbeer and drinking it down in one gulp.
Lily and Alice looked at him,"Are you alright, Potter? You're acting weirder then you usually do." Lily asked.
James grinned at her, "I didn't know you were so concerned about me! I'm glad to be reassured after the little fiasco with Remus."
Lily's eyes narrowed,"I'm not concerned about you, Potter. You're just acting weirder then usual."
"Sure, Evans. . . .So, do you really like my hair?"
Lily scoffed as Alice turned to the refreshment table, hiding her laughter.
"Oh, don't think of yourself that great, Potter. I was under the influence of a love potion. I would have done anything to get to Remus, including flirting with you. And no. Your hair looks like it hasn't been combed in years." Lily added.
James ran a hand through his hair,"It hasn't been combed since I was seven. My mum gave up. It wouldn't stay flat."
"You didn't try gel or something?" Alice asked.
James nodded solemnly,"It still stuck up, the only difference was it looked all greasy, like Snivel- Snape's hair." James corrected himself fast as he saw the look he was given by Lily.
"You don't have to be so awful about him, Potter." Lily said tartly.
"I wasn't. I was just making an observation about his hair. I was just observing that his hair was greasy. For example: I am observing that your hair's really red and great. And long." James said closely examining her hair with a smirk on his face.
Lily huffed and turned to the food table, ignoring James standing next to them.
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"Will you give me the sodding breadstick?" Remus asked, frustrated.
"No!" The girl replied back.
"It's just a breadstick! Nothing special about it!" Remus tried to reason with her.
"Then why do you want it?" She asked.
"Er, because. . .it doesn't matter!" Remus said.
Sirius walked up to them,"Hey, mate. Hey, midget." He greeted them both.
They didn't look at him and only grunted in response.
"Hi, Sirius. How the party going for you?" Sirius said asking himself.
"Oh, it brilliant. I'm having a great time! Thanks for asking." He replied to himself.
"You're welcome." Sirius replied again to himself.
"How are you doing?" Sirius asked his, er, otherself.
"I'm fine too. Have you tried the onion dip? It's delicious."
Sirius shook his head,"No, I'm afraid not. See, I'm allergic to onions. Get all swelled up. Not a pretty sight." He replied to himself.
"Horrid, horrid." Sirius said, agreeing with himself, shaking his head sadly in the process.
Sirius sighed,"Yes, I know."
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"You don't actually like Remus, do you, Evans?" James asked after a few minutes of silence.
Lily sighed in exasperation,"I thought you went off to your Maulers-"
"It's Marauders, Lily." Alice cut in.
"-Maulers, Marauders, same difference." Lily said shrugging.
"Yeah, well, I don't think I want to go over there right now." James said, looking over at Remus who was still battling it out with the second year and Sirius, who appeared to having a conversation with himself.". . .I think you're changing the subject!" James exclaimed.
"I am not! Did you ever consider that, hmmm, no. That maybe I wanted you to go away?" Lily asked.
James just grinned a sly grin,"Yeah, sure Evans. As I already asked what does Remus have, that I don't?"
Lily scoffed,"I don't like Remus. He's still a better person than you are though, Potter."
Alice sensing a fight coming decided to change the subject,"Is that Frank Longbottom? I didn't think he was in the Slug Club!" Alice said in surprise even though she and Lily had talked to him for five minutes at the beginning of the party.
"Er, yeah. He's really good at astronomy, I think." Lily said, starting to cool down,". . .Don't you dare say your "bloody awesome" at transfiguration, Potter." Lily said as James opened his mouth.
"I wasn't going to say that for your information." James said slowly, he was going to say, "I'm bloody brilliant at transfiguration".
"Oh, really? What were you going to say then?" Asked Lily, not believing James.
"Er, I was going to say. . .I was going to say- Oy! Is that carrot cake?" James exclaimed over-enthusiastically. He quickly walked over to the refreshment table, examining a pinkish colored cake. The girls watched him with raised eyebrows the whole way.
Lily walked up with Alice following her,"Potter, that's not a carrot cake. That's a strawberry cake."
James shook his head,"No, it isn't. It's definitely carrot."
"Since when have carrots been pink? I thought they were orange." Lily asked sarcastically,pointing to the pink cake.
"So? I've eaten a carrot cake that was green before." James argued.
Alice and Lily faces scrunched up in disgusted,"James, you didn't to check and see if there was mold on it?"
James looked thoughtful,"Huh. Guess not. That might be why it didn't taste that well. Kind of gross actually. . ." James mouthed "oh" a few seconds later,". . .that's why I spent six hours sitting in the bathroom by the toilet."
LIly rolled her eyes,"Really, Potter, I honestly don't know how you're one of the top students at Hogwarts."
James' let out a dramatic,"I try, Lily, I try."
Lily scowled.
Alice snickered, quickly turning them into a coughing fit and looking around the crowd. She quickly spotted someone,"Hey, Lily. Look it's Hestia! . . .I think I'm going to go chat with her. . .bye!" Alice finished quickly jogging away to their friend, Hestia Jones, a fifth year Ravenclaw.
Lily glared at Alice's back as she walked away, then turned back to Potter.
James when back to the conversation,"So, your not admitting being impressed by me being one of the top students?" James asked. Lily nodded, thinking Potter was getting the message. James continued,". . .You could be admitting how you'd like to snog senselessly with me, though." James finished slyly.
Lily scoffed and began to speak in a dry, sarcastic voice,"Yes, Potter. How did you guess? I want to snog senselessly with you right here, right now." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
James chuckled and moved closer to her,"Okay, if you insisted."
Lily gaped, horrified. She back away,"Ugh, Potter, you pervert!" With that Miss Evans stormed off to Alice and Hestia, by the chocolate pudding.
"Er, well, meet you later! You know so we can snog. . .er, nevermind. We'll talk later." James trailed off part way as Lily glared at him for a moment.
He frowned some and looked back at the so called strawberry cake.
i Pfft,what does she know? It's definitely carrot. . .at least I hope it is. I'm allergic to strawberries. /i
He sliced a big hunk of cake onto a plate and grabbed a fork. James slowly got a bit of cake on his fork and brought it to his mouth. Chewing. . .swallowing. . .sighing. . .Mmmm, so good'. . .sighing again in content. . .breaking out in red spots. . .
James quickly put the cake down and left the party, heading to the hospital wing with red spots.
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"Did you see that move the Bulgarian seeker made two summers ago? It was brilliant!"
"Oh, yes, that was great!" Sirius replied to himselves question.
He had continued an interesting conversation with himself for the past five minutes as Remus and the girl fought over the breadstick.
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"Give it to me!"
"No!"
"Yes!" Remus exclaimed to the girl.
"No, I'll neve-" The girl stopped abruptly as the breadstick broke apart, each person getting half.
Remus and the girl fell over. They blinked and stared at each other, then at their part of the breadstick. Each other. Breadstick. Each other. Breadstick. Each other. Breadsti-
"Fresh, hot, just out of the oven breadsticks!" A seventh year boy from Hufflepuff squealed as he walked over to a new tray of breadsticks that magically appeared from the kitchens
There was several more squeals of delight just before at least fifteen people crowded around the tray.
Remus and The Girl stared outraged at the group. They quickly stood up and tried to move their way through the crowd to the tray.
Soon the crowd disappeared, leaving an empty tray for Remus and The Girl. The two sighed,disappointed, then groaned as they heard comments on the breadsticks:
"Mmmmm! This is so good!"
"So hot and tasty!"
"Ensd shtsi osnwe snwe good!"
"Mmmmmmmmm!"
Remus and The Girl groaned and looked at their cold, half breadsticks.
Remus brought his to The Girl's.
"Cheers." He muttered moodily, stuffing the breadstick in his mouth.
"Cheers." The Girl muttered just as moodily, before following Remus' example.
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"Mmmmm, Remus, did you try those breadsticks? Especially when they just came from the kitchen? I got like five of them. Boy, were those things good." Sirius asked as he and Remus walked up the stairs to their dorm. Sirius rubbed his stomach happily, remembering the wonderful food.
Remus grumbled,"Yes, and this is coming from the guy who carried on a conversation with himself for twenty minutes."
Sirius smirked,"Oh, and that was coming from the guy who fought over a measly old breadstick for twenty minutes with a secondnd year midget."
"Oh, be quiet." Remus hissed.
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"Well. . .that was a wonderful party." Remus said bluntly.
Sirius and James muttered "Mmmm,hmmm" 's as they played a game of explode and snap in their dorm later that night.
James had gotten back from the hospital wing just after Remus and Sirius got back from the party, his red spots gone, except for a few that Madame Pomfrey could not cure, right in the middle of his forehead.
James was promptly laughed at by Sirius and snickered at by Remus. Sirius and Remus were then promptly hexed with a violent shade of violet for their hair.
There was silence for the next few minutes until Peter rushed through the door, holding a red envelope.
"Er, hello, Peter. Are you alright?" Remus asked slowly as he and James and Sirius watched Peter run to the open window and drop the red envelope downwards.
Peter sighed with relief,"Yeah, fine. I just got a howler from me mum. I sent her a letter telling her about my wand being broken." He said explaining to them.
Peter was about to walk away from the window, but stopped as he glanced once more out the window."Oh. . .Merlin." He said fearfully.
"What is it, Peter- ?"
"BOY THAT'S THE SECOND ATTEMPTED MURDER ON ME! YOU'LL BE EXPELLED NEXT!" Filch yelled from below, down on the grounds.
James, Sirius, and Remus looked at each other before rushing to the window. Apparently, Peter had dropped the red envelope the same time as Filch walked by, doing patrols. What bad luck.
Peter cringed,"Sorry! I- I didn't mean to!"
"LIKE I'M GOING TO BELIEVE THAT! WAIT UNTIL THE HEADMAST-" Filch was cut off by another scream. The scream was high-pitch and feminine.
"PETER PETTIGREW! YOU ARE GROUNDED TILL YOU'Re DEAD AND IN YOUR GRAVE! I TOLD YOU TO TAKE CARE OF THAT WAND! . . ." The screams continued.
Filch looked confused for moment then shook his fist at Peter and walked away.
Peter moaned as the rest of the Marauders snickered.
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A/N: Revised: 8/1/06
