Disclaimer: Yeah, right. Like I own anything. Snorts
A/N: Revised: 8/1/06
Song Lyrics: "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden
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Chapter Five
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"School books?"
Sighs,"Check."
"Wands."
Sighs,"Duh, Sirius."
"Homework?"
". . .Check. . ."
"Lunch pail?"
"Sirius! We don't have lunch pails! We don't even need lunch pails!"
"Fine, fine. . .Underwear?"
"Check- Sirius!" James exclaimed. The rest of the Marauders snickered.
It was November 28th (A Saturday, so no classes) for the fifth years. They were already drowning in homework and essays from the teachers. Many people were starting to feel the pressure of O.W.L's and stressing out. Lily Evans was one of those "Many".
James hadn't ask Lily out again, afraid of being murdered by her. But, he had taken time out of his schedule to see her about, oh, every fifteen minutes or so. Yes, yes, it was very considerate of him taking time out of his schedule, but what could he say? He was just that great.
Lily, for some strange reason, had a different opinion. . .
"Potter, will you go annoy someone else for once!" Lily asked loudly, picking up her books and exiting the library.
- - -
"Potter, I just saw you five minutes ago! Why don't you go do flips on your stupid vaccuum cleaner or whatever it's called!" Lily yelled standing up and walking out of the common room.
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"Potter!"
- - -
"POTTER!"
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"POTHEAD!"
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"Potter!
- - -
"Potter. . .Leave. . .Me. . .Alone!"
- - -
"POTTER!"
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"Leave me alone!" Lily yells. A roll of parchment thrown is by Lily, at James. Right on target.
- - -
"Potter!
- - -
"PO-"
- - -
Er, you get the message, don't you?
Even though Lily wasn't, er, coporating, James wasn't one to give up. James Potter always got what he wanted. Lily Evans wasn't an exception.
James glared at Sirius.
Sirius shrugged and looked back at a list in his hand,"Alright, let's do a head count. Peter Latanya Pettigrew?"
Peter,looking somewhat confused, rose his hand slowly,"That's not my middle name, Sirius."
"I know that. I don't know your real middle name, so I just came up with one."
Remus snorted,"I hope Latanya isn't your middle name."
"Why not?" Peter asked while Sirius also asked, offended,"Yes, why not?"
Remus snorted again,"Well, first of all, Latanya is a female name and second of all, if I'm correct, Latanya means The Fairy Queen."
Peter turned red and punched Sirius in the shoulder. Remus and James stiffled with laughter.
Sirius rubbed his shoulder,"Hey! Don't blame me! I didn't know that Latanya meant The Fairy Queen!"
Peter shrugged and turned away from the group to have a conversation with Frog.
Sirius looked at his list again, as Remus and James rolled their eyes,"Alright, Remus Johnny Lupin."
Remus' eyes narrowed,"You know very well my middle name isn't Johnny. It's John."
Sirius chuckled,"Okay, Johnny's here."
"Sirius!"
"Er, next. James Harold Potter." Sirius said quickly.
James smirked,"You actually said my name right, Sirius."
"Yes, well, what can I say?" Sirius muttered checking James' name on the list.
"Sirius, why exactly are you doing a checklist and head counting?. . .You weren't even doing head counting! You were doing roll call! Head counting is counting heads!" Remus exclaimed.
"Well, I was reading about in this book-"
James put on a fake suprised look,"Oh, Merlin! What is this world coming to? Sirius reading? Not possible!"
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Anyways, I was reading this book and-"
"Wait, you were reading this book? Why were you reading this book?" Remus asked grabbing a book Sirius was holding up to show them. It was titled, "Ten Thousand Tips for Teachers".
Sirius snatched the book back,"Yes, I was reading this book."
"Why? You're not even a teacher!" James asked.
Sirius shrugged,"I don't know. I found it lying around in the library and read a few pages and just couldn't put it down. Do guys want to know five basic tips for teaching a student the difference between a licorice wand and a real wand?"
Remus and James (even Peter) looked at Sirius in exasperation,"That's easy. A licorice wand is made out of licorice. And a real wand is made out of wood." Remus explained.
"Actually, there's a lot better way to explain the difference. You see- James! Give it back!" Sirius yelled running after James, who had snatched "Ten Thousand Tips for Teachers" from Sirius and ran to the bathroom.
James stopped in front of the toilet, dropped the book down, and flushed it. It didn't really have the effect that he wanted. All it did was clog up the toilet, and get the book all dirty and soggy. Sirius and Remus gasped and ran to the toilet.
"Uh, guys, I kind of need to use the bathroom so if you could leave. . .Is anyone aware there's a book in the toilet?" Peter asked walking into the bathroom.
Sirius groaned,"James! That's not my book! Remember! It's from the library! Great." He said using his wand to levitate the wand from the toilet.
The boys back up,"Ew, it smells."
Remus scoffed,"No! Why would you ever think that, Peter? It's only been sitting in a toilet."
"Pince is going to mutilate me!" Sirius said to James.
"How could you, James? You killed the book, James!" Remus said pointing fiercely to the dripping wet book.
James chuckled weakly,"Er, sorry. Sirius, you were starting to act weird so I had to try to get rid of the book!"
"Why didn't you run away to the library then? You know, check it in? Instead, you go and flush it down the toilet, which is now clogged." Sirius asked dullfully.
"Because you could have checked it out again!" James wailed.
"But did you really have to destro-"
"The toilets CLOGGED? I have to relieve myself, like, RIGHT now! There's not another toilet I can use in the WHOLE tower!" Peter wailed, hopping from one foot to the other.
The others stared at him.
He stared back for five seconds before running out of the dorm, presumably looking for a bathroom to "relieve" himself.
"Okay. Well, it looks like we'll be visiting the library today." Remus stated.
Sirius wimpered.
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"Hello, Mr. Lupin!" Madame Pince greeted one of her most frequent visitors, cheerfully, before turning to James and Sirius, who rolled their eyes. She said in a voice not so full of cheer,"Mr. Potter. Mr. Black."
"Pince."
"Hello, Madame Pince."
"My Dear Irma! You're looking fabulous!" Sirius said brightly, leaning on the counter.
Madame Pince's eyes narrowed,"Alright, Black, what book did you destroy this time?"
Sirius tried to put on his best I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about look,"Why, Irma! I have no idea what you're talking about! I was just here to breath in the knowledge of the library. See, watch." Sirius commanded.
He stood up staight and breathed in deeply, then out deeply. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. . .
All the while James, Remus, and Madame Pince looked at Sirius in bewilderment.
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In- "Achoo!"
Sirius stopped breathing in the "knowledge of the library", after he also breathed in a bit too much of dust.
He looked sheepishly at the other three, then handed Madame Pince "Ten Thousand Tips for Teachers".
Madame Pince grabbed the book then dropped it on her desk in disgust,"What did you do to this book, Black?"
Sirius shot James a scowl,"Er, I was. . .doing a bit of. . .bathroom reading and- and. . .it fell in the toilet."
Madame Pince back away,"Black! How could you be so irresponsible? How in the world could you have dropped the book in the toilet?. . ." Madame Pince continued questioning.
"How much will it cost to replace?"
"Is that a piece of toilet paper? Oh, I don't even want to know what that is. . .what? Oh, yes. It will be 15 galleons." Madame Pince replied.
James handed Sirius 15 galleons. They agreed on the way to the library that James would pay for the book.
Madame Pince took the galleons and glared at Sirius.
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"I'm sorry, Sirius. Really. It's just you were acting all. . .weird so I had to get rid of it!" James apologized as the four Marauders walked back to Gryffindor Common Room. It seemed Peter "relieved" himself.
Sirius just grunted.
James sighed frustrated,"I said I was sorry- Evans!"
Sirius looked at James,"What? Last time I checked, I'm not female, do not have red hair, and do not have the name "Evans". Do I look like Evans?"
James waved Sirius off and looked ahead of them. Sirius, along with the rest of the Marauders, looked ahead.
Lily and Hestia were standing, looking livid in front of Snivellus.
"Come on." James hissed.
"What? What about apologizing, James?" Sirius asked.
"Forget about the bloody book! I paid for to be replaced! Pince'll probably buy a new copy. So really, I did you a favor. The old one was looking ragged. Now you'll have a new copy!" James hissed quickly, striding to the group up ahead.
That seemed to satisify Sirius.
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"Why don't you mind your own business. . .you filthy little Mud-"
James cut off Snape,"Hello, Snivellus." Then turned to Lily and Hestia,"Hi, Evans. Jones."
Snape pulled out his wand. Lily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Hestia only smirked.
The other Marauders just stood by James.
"We wouldn't be saying anything we're not suppose to say,are we Snape?" James asked.
"Mind your own business,Potter." Snape said viciously.
"Oh, but Evans is my business." James said knowingly.
Lily gaped at him,"My business is my business. Not yours!"
James only smirked at Lily and turned back to Snape,"That's a lot of books there, Snape. I bet they're all about the Dark Arts too." He said, raising his wand.
"James. . ." Remus warned.
Snape sneered at James,"Why don't you go snog a broomstick?"
"Why don't you go serve your Oh-So-Great Voldermort." James snapped back.
A crowd was starting to gather around the group as James said this. Gasp were heard.
Snape raised his wand and shot a hex at James.
James ducked and grinned at Snape,"Is that all you've got, Snivellus?" He asked with a laugh.
Many people in the crowd laughed.
Lily and Remus weren't one of them.
"Potter, Snape stop this at once!" Lily yelled, pulling out her wand.
James eyed Lily's wand warily and brought his wand down slightly, Snape noticed,"What? Afraid of a Mudblood, Potter?"
Lily turned pink and turned her wand to Snape.
James brought his wand back up, Sirius and Remus trying to hold him back.
"Don't you call her that!" He yelled,"Levicorpus!" at Snape, making him dangle in the air, upside down.
"Potter!" Lily exclaimed, pointing her wand, once again, at James now.
James smirked and shot a look at the crowd. The crowd seemed to be in awe by the hex. Impressed? James then looked at Lily. For some odd reason, she didn't seem to be as awed by his hex.
"Let him down!" She commanded.
"What? After what he just called you?" James asked, outraged.
"Yes! Now let him down or that's detention!" Lily yelled.
James just stood there, wand still raised.
Lily turned to Remus,"Well? What are you going to do about him? He's your friend!"
Remus looked a little startled at Lily speaking to him,"Er. . ."
Lily sighed in frustration,"Boys." She muttered to herself.
"I'm going to get Professor Mc-"
"Professor Mcgongall!" Hestia exclaimed, looking behind Lily.
Lily's eyes widened and spun around,"Er, hello Professor."
The professor was looking with pursed lips at the dangling Snape,"Who did this?"
James quickly hid his wand. Snape fell to the ground, red in the face from the blood rushing to his head.
The crowd that had gathered, rushed away quickly. Leaving the Marauders, Lily, Snape, Hestia, and Professor Mcgongall.
"Well?"
"Potter." Snape said sending James a glare as he got up. James glared back,"Professor, I only hexed him because he called Evans a you-know-what."
Professor Mcgongall's eyes narrowed as she looked at Snape then looked at Lily,"Is this true?"
Lily huffed,"Yes, but I could have handled it on my own. I didn't need your help, Potter."
James looked taken back,"What? Were you going glare at him to death?"
"I was going to give him detention, actually. That would have been a lot more effective then hexing him!" Lily yelled.
"No, it wouldn't!" James yelled back.
"Yes, it would! He could have gotten hurt because of you!"
"That's bad?" James asked.
"You little prick!" Lily yelled pulling her wand out again, pointing it at James. Lily completely forgot about Mcgongall.
"Miss Evans!" Mcgongall shouted, outraged that Lily Evans would ever even consider starting a duel.
Lily quickly pulled her wand back down and looked away.
"Detentions will be handed out to Mr. Snape, Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, and Miss Evans."
Remus looked confused. As did the others.
"Mr. Lupin is a school prefect. He did not try to stop what happened, therefore he will serve detention as well." Professor Mcgongall explained.
Remus looked down ashamed.
"Can I go to detention too, Professor?" Sirius asked.
Mcgongall sighed tiredly,"No, Mr. Black. You didn't do anything wrong. Surprisingly."
Crash!
"Mr. Black, detention!"
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The group (excluding Snape and Hestia) walked back to Gryffindor tower.
"We sure showed Snape, didn't we?" James asked, laughing somewhat strained. Peter was the only one to actually laugh back.
Lily glared at James,"I have detention because of you!" She hissed.
"I was just trying to save you from Snape!. . .Besides you have to admit that was one good hex." James protested.
"I don't need you saving me! And that was a horrible hex!" Lily exclaimed stepping on James toe before saying the password and storming into the common room.
"Ow!. . .okay, well, see you at detention! Ouch!" James cried as a closed inkwell flew through the potrait hole at his head.
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A/N: A/N: Revised: 8/1/06