Disclaimer: "Alright,I'll ask you again. . .how much do you own?" The detective asked again. I roll my eyes,"I have already told you. I own nothing!"
A/N: Hi everyone. It's fall break for me. I got out of school Tuesday,and I could have updated my stories sooner,but. . .I've been relaxing for a while,you know,doing nothing. . .renting movies,not burning calories,eating potatoe chips(cheddar and sour cream),stuff like that. Oh,and watching 'A Walk To Remember'. That is movie so sweet! Sad,but sweet. I would recommend the book and the movie. I even added it to my favorite books and movies on my info.
I have another J/L story brewing in my head. I'm not sure if I'll write because it might seem too much like my stories and just blend in with them. It has a different plot though. Oh well. If I do write it,it won't be for a while. Geez,could I babble even more? 'Gentlemen' or 'Smithy' mutters so he THINKS I can't hear him,"No,your such a bore." Glares at him. "Oh,I'll. . .I mean never mind. Just read the story." Glares at 'Gentlemen' again.
A big thanks to all of my reviewer of the previous chapter:
hoolihoopgrl131:You'll probably feel even more sorry for them in this chapter! I know I do,lol.
The Female Nerd:I originally thought about doing the handcuffs on their hands,but decided on their legs,because I've never read a story where it was their legs and not their hands. Of course,I haven't read all of the stories. . .I just thought it would be different,really.
hpronw:Well,not really fast,but fast enough,I guess. Thanks for taking the time to review!
Madame-S-Butterfly:You liked that line? Thanks!
dreamergirl86: I absolutely LOVED doing the dream and 'Pottergriff' serenading Lily. I also like the sleeping beauty thing too. Emma was right. Lily was like Sleeping Beauty in several ways. Her 'prince' even woke her up with a kiss. . .or a 'yelp of suprise'. Which ever. LoL,thanks for reviewing!
Chapter 8-Lily 'digs' Groaning Gustford or Does She?
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You ask me if there'll come a time
When I grow tired of you
Never my love
Never my love
You wonder if this heart of mine
Will lose its desire for you
Never my love
Never my love
What makes you think love will end
When you know that my whole life depends
On you
Never my love
Never my love
--------------Never My Love,The Association---------------------------------
"Potter,what are you doing?"
"Er. . .well. . ." James stumbled around for the right words.
"Yes?" Lily asked expectantly.
The two along with their friends(Alice with them now)were still in the library only now they were searching for the mysterious 2nd years(Though Lily and James didn't know that). So far no luck.
James had began to hop back and forth on from one foot to the other. That was hard,considering Lily and him were joined at the ankles making them both fall over five times in just 15 minutes.
"Well. . .here's the thing." James began. Lily nodded for him to continue,not really sure if she was going to like what he was going to say. "I. . .need to go let it out." He said quickly.
Lily raised an eyebrow,"Let what out?"
James' shoulders sagged from having to explain any further,"You know. . .relieve myself."
"What are you saying,Potter?" Lily asked confused. Honestly. 'Relieve' himself?
James stared at Lily,exasperated,"You can make all O's in every class except transfiguration of course,"James paused arrogantly for a moment then continued under Lily's glare,"but you don't know what relieving yourself means? Or letting it out?" James asked as they fell in a bookshelf.
Lily straightened up,waited for James to straighten up,then continued walking,"Well,Potter,you see,I don't normally go around saying," Lily lowered her voice to immitate James," 'I need to go let it out.' " Her voice changes back to normal,"Of course that's where we differ. Your the kind of person to go around dressed as old men spying on other peoples dates or. . ."
James tuned Lily out after that. 'That's not all I've dressed up as. . .' He thought bitterly to himself.
"And-Are you even listening to me?" Lily exclaimed.
"Er,yes?" James answered.
"Anyways-AHHHHHHHH!" Lily screamed as James did another hop and they fell over once again,into Remus.
Lily sat up and blew hair out her face in irritation,"Potter will you tell me what's wrong with you in normal language?"
James squirmed.
"He needs to piss,Evans." Sirius said plainly,smirking at James.
James glared at Sirius and scrambled up,falling down again.
Lily face turned a faint shade of pink,"Oh. . .well. . ."
". . .Yeah. . ." James said awkwardly.
Lily stood up brushing herself off as their friends snickered behind them. She spun around to tell them off,only to fall down again since James was still having problems getting up.
"Oh will you shut up and go hunt for the little people!" Lily hissed.
Sirius stopped laughing,"You know Evans your not exactly on tall people list." He said thoughtfully.
Lily chuckled cooly,"Hahaha-whatever Black."
Sirius shrugged and walk to a row peeking around searching once more for the 'little people' as Lily called them.
The rest of the group also left,afraid of Lily's temper,leaving Lily and James on the floor.
"You know Evans. . ." James paused for moment,squirming around,". . .I really need to. . .you know. . ."
". . .Piss? As your friend Black so kindly put it?" Lily asked.
James bit his lip,"Yeah. . ."
"Ok. . .let's figure out a way to get up then we'll. . .find a bathroom." Lily said with a sigh.
James snickered.
"What?" Lily asked irritated.
James stopped for a moment,"Oh,er,nothing. Just what you said. . .nevermind."
Lily rolled her eyes.
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"Ok,here we are." James said as they reached a bathroom.
Lily had made them walk to one the most deserted bathrooms in the castle.
Groaning Gustford's Bathroom.
Like Moaning Myrtle,Groaning Gustford died in a boy's bathroom back along time ago. Like along time ago. Like when Hogwarts was first founded.
Apparently,if rumors were correct,Gustford somehow choked on toilet paper in the boys bathroom on the 3rd floor. That's why he haunted the place. That's why no one ever went there.
"Ugh,I can't believe I'm going in the boy's bathroom with you. I can't believe I'm going in the boy's bathroom at all." Lily complained as James burst through the door to the bathroom.
"Look,Evans,I don't care if your a boy,a girl,or a freakin' jello unicorn! I have to. . .piss!" James exclaimed hurriedly. He tried to drag Lily to the closest urinal,but didn't have much luck.
He finally stopped and turned to Lily,hoping on the foot that was free of the anklecuffs,"Evans,think about. If you don't let me relieve myself now in a bathroom,what will it be like when I relieve myself somewhere else,not in a bathroom?" He asked.
James was just about ready to burst into tears,but didn't since he didn't want to lose his manly pride.
Lily thought for a moment before sighing and nodding wordlessly.
James sighed with relief and dragged Lily along side him to a urinal.
Lily shut her eyes quickly and turned away as she heard unzipping and then tinkling.
"Ugh,this is so disgusting. Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?" Lily moaned.
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"Hi."
James looked around(Lily didn't,since her eyes were closed). He spotted Groaning Gustford floating slowly to them,"Er,Gustford." He nodded his head awkwardly.
"Who is it?" Lily asked.
"It's Gro-Gustford. . .now,if you wouldn't mind,Gustford,I'm kind of busy here. . ." James trailed off. Honestly. He really like Lily,really he did.He liked being around her,but. . .not enough to have her in the bathroom with him while he 'relieved' himself. It was even worse to have a dead guy watching you.
"I don't have to leave. It's my bathroom. Besides you have a girl here. . .I don't think I've met you." Gustford said floating up to Lily and sticking his hand out,"I'm Gustford,and who are you if you don't mind me asking." He said politely as if he talked to girls with their eyes squeezed closed in the middle of the bathroom while another boy tinkled away next them,all the time.
James rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the ghost.
Lily didn't shake his hand,considering the facts that you can't shake a ghosts hand and also she didn't even know he was right in front of her since her eyes were shut,"Er,hello,Gustford. My names Lily Evans. This really isn't what it looks like." Lily replied just as polite,pointing to herself and then pointing to where she thought James was.
Well she knew where James was. Bullseye. Right in the eye.
"Evans! Are you trying to poke my eye out?" James asked as he zipped his pants.
Lily would have rolled her eyes if her eyes were open.
"It's a pleasure to meet you,Lily." The ghost said charmingly,coming closer to Lily.
"Oy,go find Moaning Myrtle,will you? Or at least someone who's a ghost." James exclaimed,
"She's your girlfriend?" Gustford asked.
"No!" Lily yelled,her eyes snapping open accidently.
"You could say that." James answered casually,putting his hands in his pockets.
Gustford raised an eyebrow for a moment examining the two,before shrugging,"Allllright. Well,Lily,if your ever in need of company,I'll be here."
Lily stared at Gustford,"Er. . .right. Thanks,I. . .guess."
James put an arm around Lily's shoulder,pulling her closer to him,"Don't worry,she won't be in need of your company,because she'll have mine."
Lily glared at James as he smirked at Gustford.
"Go snog a mirror. . .whatever-your-name-is." Gustford sneered,floating away to a urinal at the other end of the bathroom.
"Go snog a urinal. . .stupidhead!" James yelled back at the retreating Gustford.
Gustford glared at James,smiled a scary smile at Lily,then disappeared down a urinal.
"Get off me,Potter!" Lily yelled,jumping as far as the anklecuffs would go from James.
"What you like Groaning Gustford coming on to you or something? Ahhhhh,how sweet! Lily has a crush on a ghost that haunts the bathroom he choked on toilet paper and died in! Just sweet!" James said in a high-pitch voice.
Lily huffed and dragged James out of the bathroom,leaving the bathroom in silence.
(30 Seconds Later)
The door swings open again and Lily and James come back into the bathroom again.
"Wash your hands,Potter." Lily commanded,dragging him to a sink.
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They had been walking for a two minutes,on the way back to the library,when Lily suddenly stopped.
James looked at her quizically,"What?"
Lily turned pink,"Well. . ." She trailed off chuckling nervously.
"Yeah?" James asked.
"I need to. . ."
"Evans will you get on with it? We have to find those 'little people'. . .not that I mind our situation or anything." James added.
Lily stepped on his shoe with her free foot and glared.
"It's a joke,Evans! Take a joke once and a while!" James moaned trying to craddle his foot.
"Whatever,Potter. I need to. . ."
"I think you broke my foot,Evans." James stated,not paying attention to what Lily was saying.
"Potter."
"You know you shouldn't murder me or cause me any bodily harm right now. How will you walk around with me dead?" James asked.
"Potter. . ."
"I mean I'm not overweight or anything,just that I'm taller than you and all that."
"Potter!"
"And I'm not saying that your scrawny or anything,but your little-no that's not the right word. Your petite. Yeah,that's the-"
"Potter! I have to piss!" Lily yelled.
James stopped talk and stared at Lily,". . .Oh. . .I see. . ."
"Yes." Lily continued.
"So. . ." James trailed off,rubbing the back of his neck. He shuffled his feet around,almost making the two fall over.
"We need to head to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom." Lily stated,starting to walk.
James of course followed,er,dragged along.
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"Can't you. . .you know. . .wait? I can't be seen in a girls bathroom! It'll ruin my reputation!" James groaned as Lily pushed open Moaning Myrtle's bathroom door.
Lily stopped and spun around and grabbed James by the front of his shirt,"Potter,I had to go and listen to you tinkle away in a boys bathroom. Now you can listen your heart out to me tinkle away in a girls bathroom!"
James nodded slowly.
"Good." Lily muttered,running to a stall.
"Ok,well,you can just wait outside the stall door." Lily said,trying to close the door.
James raised an eyebrow.
The door wouldn't close,because of their legs in the way.
Duh.
"Evans,I can't just wait outside the door,you know." James said tilting a head while looking at the door in amusement.
The door swung open and Lily glared at James,"I know that."
"Then how do you plan on closing the door?" James asked.
"It won't close! So. . .you'll just stand outside the door,keeping it closed as much as possible." Lily explained.
"Oh really?" James asked,peering in the stall.
Lily nodded.
"How are you going to even reach the toilet,Evans?"
"We don't have any other options,Potter!" Lily shrieked,then turned back to the stall.
James shrugged and walked outside of the stall,closing the door as much as possible,hoping on one leg as the other was being pulled into the stall by Lily's leg.
Silence.
"Are you almost done?" James asked.
A toilet paper roll was thrown over the stall door and dropped on James' head.
"Oof!" James moaned,rubbing his head,"I'll take that as a no."
"Potter,can you move closer? I just need an inch or two more." Lily's voice floated through the door awkwardly.
Boy,this was awkward.
"Boy,this is awkward." James said,trying to move closer,finding that he couldn't considering his face was already pressed into the door to where his voice wasn't understandable and he was having trouble breathing.
"That's it,thanks Potter. What did you say?" Lily asked.
James mumbled in the door again.
"What?" Lily asked again.
James sighed and pulledd away from the door some,"I said,'No probl-"
"Oof! Potter!" Lily yelled as she fell to the floor.
James had moved too far back which made Lily fall off the toilet.
James immediately moved back to the door,"Er,sorry."
Lily moaned,"I think my bottom's broken. . .I'm going to kill those little-little people!"
James chuckled.
Silence(except for tinkling).
Silence(no tinkling).
"Potter?" Lily asked.
"Yeah?" or "Yedu?" James asked,face pressed to the door again.
"Can I have that toilet paper roll back? That's the only one left in the stall." Lily asked sheepishly.
"Oh,yeah,just. . .hold on. . .to the toilet. . .or something so you don't fall down again." James answered pulling away from the door and grabbing the toilet paper roll and tossing it over the door.
"Oof. Thanks,Potter,for hitting me in the head." Lily said.
"Just returning the favor." James answered casually.
"AAAHHH!" Lily's voice screamed a second later.
"Evans? What happened?" James asked concerned. . .Well it sounded more like this,"Evens? Whert huppern?"
Lily sighed shakily,"Moaning Myrtle happened."
"Whart dur yac meaner?(Or,"What do you mean?")" James asked.
"What I mean is that Bloody Moaning Myrtle just blasted the toilet water back on me while I was sitting on the toilet!" Lily exclaimed.
James bit his lip trying no to laugh.
"Don't you dare laugh,Potter,or I'll shove this toilet paper roll down your throat then you can go join Groaning Gustford!" Lily threatened.
"Tsk,tsk,tsk,Evans. Violence isn't the answer." James warned.(Or,"Pst,pst,pst,Evers. Varnence gisn't ther aswear.")
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"Where have you two been?" Emma questioned as Lily and James entered the library half an hour later.
Lily looked a bit disgruntled,shooting James withering glares.
James just shrugged his shoulders and grinned sheepishly."We had to 'relieve' ourselves." He explained,going a bit red.
"Why are you wet,Lily?" Alice asked,bewildered.
Sure enough,Lily's skirt was damp.
"Don't ask." Lily said through gritted teeth.
"She already did." Sirius pointed out.
"Bugger off,Black!" Lily hissed.
'Well,someone's not in a good mood." Sirius muttered.
"Did you find the little people?" James asked,changing the subject.
"Well. . ." Emma started.
"Sort of. . ." Remus added.
"How can you 'sort of' find them?" Lily asked exasperated.
"Well,you see. They-They sort of went past us fast,wagging the keys in our faces then ran off through the library doors." Peter explained,backing up some,away from Lily.
"WHAT? HOW WILL WE FIND THEM NOW?" Lily asked hyperventilating.
"Don't worry,Lily! We'll find them. It might take a while,but I'm sure we'll find them. If we can't find them,then I'm sure Dumbledore could! There's nothing to get upset about. Besides we know-" Alice tried to calm Lily down.
"Don't worry,don't worry?" Lily asked,dragging James to a table and sitting down. The rest followed them.
"I've already went into a boys bathroom,and heard Pothead tinkle! And I've also had to sit on a toilet with the door half open because of Potter's leg sticking through it! Oh,and I've fallen off the toilet onto the bathroom floor nearly breaking my buttocks and had toilet water blasted on my arse! Oh,and a ghost flirted with me! All in an hour! Just think what will happen in another hour! Or in two! Or-oh god! What about tonight? How will we sleep? Uuuuuggggghhhhhhh!" Lily groaned,hitting her head on the table.
James patted her back.
She slapped James' hand away and glared at him.
"Hey,don't glare at me! This isn't my fault!" James protested.
Lily sat up straight and look at James,"You know what?" She didn't wait for James to answer,"For once in the whole time of knowing you,this isn't your fault. I mean it's always your fault. Always. But it wasn't this time. I'm sorry for blaming you."
"Er. . .thanks I guess." James replied,not really sure if that was a compliment.
"A ghost flirted with you? Which one?"Emma asked curiously.
"Groaning Gustford." Lily answered embaressed.
"Ahhhh,just come out in the open,Evans! I know you dig good ol' Gusty. I could just see it in your eyes." James said playfully
"I don't 'dig' Groaning Gustford,Potter!" Lily exclaimed.
"Er,Lily? Potter?" Alice asked.
"Then you 'dig' me?" James asked slyly.
"Lily. Potter." Alice called again.
"I don't 'dig' you either!" Lily exclaimed.
"Lily,Potter,for Merlin's sake!" Alice hissed loudly.
Lily and James stopped bickering and looked at the others.
The Marauders and Emma snickered quietly.
"Yes?" Lily asked curtly.
"Well,if you two are about finished arguing about who Lily 'digs' then I thought you would like to know that we know which house the 'little people' are in." Alice explained.
Lily perked up,"Really? Which one?"
"Hufflepuff." Remus answered.
"Hufflepuff?" James asked incredulously.
"That's right. We caught a glimpse of their robes and it had Hufflepuff on them." Emma also explained.
"Why were they wearing their house robes? Are they stupid or something? Anyone could notice that!" Lily exclaimed.
"You two didn't." Sirius pointed out.
"We were a bit preoccupied.You know with the whole Handcuffs-On-Our-Ankles-Thing." James said sarcastically.
"Yes,yes. Or you two are blind as a bat." Sirius replied amused.
"Bugger off,Black!" Lily hissed again.
"Of course,James is blind as a bat without his glasses. He's probably legally blind without his glasses." Sirius went on thoughtfully.
"Bugger off,Sirius!" James hissed this time.
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"Ok,just walk in casually. And don't,I repeat don't look over at the Hufflepuff table,at least not yet-Peter,I said don't look!" Remus exclaimed,smacking Peter in the back of the head.
The group had just entered the Great Hall for dinner and planned on looking secretly over at the Hufflepuff table for the familiar faces of the 'little people'.
Their plan didn't work too well since Peter immediately started staring over at the Hufflepuff table like an idiot,not-so-secretly.
"There they are!" Lily whispered,pointing to the 'little people',who caught them looking over at them. The 'little people' were now on their way out the doors of the Great Hall.
"Come on!" James exclaimed,dragging Lily to the doors.
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"Stop right there!" Alice cried,as they caught up with the 'little people' finally on the 6th floor.
Sirius was bent over,hands on his knees,panting,"Geez. . .fast. . .little. . .buggers. . ."
"Ye. . .ah. . ." Peter and Remus agreed.
"Alright,give us back the keys." Lily commanded calmly,"We've had enough. . .fun." She added bitterly.
All of a sudden the lamps lighting the hallway went out and cackling was heard.
It was-
"Peeves! You turned out the lights!" Emma yelled.
"That I did,that I did!" Peeves laughed,flying away.
Darkness.
"Great,we lost them!" Lily growled peering around. She gasped and hit James' shoulder,"Don't touch me,you Pervert!"
James raised an eyebrow,while rubbing shoulder,"I didn't touch you!"
Lily scoffed,"Yeah rig-"
"Ok,what was that?" Emma cut in.
"What was what?" Sirius asked.
"Something just touched my leg. That something is still. . .there,AAAHHH!" Emma screamed jumping around.
Strange thing was that as Emma jumped around it made everyone else jerk around and fall over.
"What is going on?" Alice asked as they laid tangled on the floor.
"I don't know. Lumos." Remus murmured,holding his wand up.
The others did the same looking around.
The 'little people' were gone.
"Oh. My. God." Remus whispered looking down at his hand.
"Wha-"
"Oh Merlin!" Emma yelled,holding up her right hand,which was connected to Peter's hand and then tugged at her left foot,which was connected to Sirius foot.
"Argh! Those little pricks!" Sirius yelled.
It seemed 'those little pricks' and those 'little people' had connected the entire group with handcuffs.
Here's how they were connected FYI:
-Peter was at one end,had his right hand connected to Emma's.
-Emma had her left hand connected to Peter's and her right foot connected to Sirius' foot.
-Sirius had his left foot connected to Emma's foot and his right hand connected to Alice's left hand.
-Alice had her left hand connected to Sirius' hand and her right hand connected to Remus hand.
-Remus had his left hand connected to Alice's hand and his right hand connected to Lily's hand.
-Lily had her left hand connected to Remus' hand and her right foot connected to James' foot.
-James had his left foot connected with Lily's foot.
(I hope that's right. . .or left. Ok,bad joke. Forget I said it.)
"Oh. My. God." Remus said again.
"This is awful!" Emma exclaimed,tugging at her hand.
The clock chimed 9 times,signaling that it was,what a suprise,9:00pm. Curfew was,well,curfew was now.
"It just got worse." Lily stated after the clock stopped chiming.
"What are we going to do?" Alice asked.
James chuckled,"Now you know how it feels."
"Oh,be quiet,Potter. This isn't a good thing! It's curfew and we won't be able to catch the little pricks right now. Oh,and to make things better,I overheard Professor Mcgongall talking to Professor Flitwick as we entered the Great Hall that Dumbledore was away!" Lily said hurridly.
"What are we going to do?" Alice asked nervously.
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"Um,Remus?" Sirius called.
The group,after 45 minutes of trying to walk around all connected to handcuffs,made it back to the GCR. They immediately went to the boys dorm because Remus said he had a hammer(Don't even ask why). They tried to break the handcuffs off with it.
"Yes,Sirius?" Remus asked with a depressing sigh.
Sirius held up Remus' now partially together hammer,the rest broken and crumbled all over floor.
Remus groaned and tried to sit down on the nearest bed,only to cause the domino effect and have everyone fall down.
"This is ridiculous!" Lily exclaimed sitting up.
"And I'm tired." Peter complained.
"We have to find a way to get this things off!" Emma continued.
"And I'm hungry." Peter also said.
Silence(except for a few sighes every second or so).
"I'm tir-"
"We know Peter." James cut Peter off.
"Let's go to bed." Sirius said trying to stand up,only to be pull back down.
"Just how would we do that,Black?" Alice asked.
"Well. . ." Sirius mused looking back and forth between the four beds.
"Oh,no. I am not sleeping on the same bed as you four! I'm not sleeping in the same room as you four!" Lily protested.
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"Wwwwwweeeeellllllllll,this is. . .awkward." Sirius stated 15 minutes later.
A pair of glasses were thrown at Sirius.
"Ow!"
"Hey,those are mine! Go throw your own glasses,Evans!" James yelled.
"What else was I suppose to do?" Lily asked,"He's said the same thing since we got into our. . .arrangement."
It turns out Sirius did have a brain and he used it. The group had brought the four beds together making one super bed in the middle of the room.
They decided to sleep in their clothes.
Very Short Flashback:
"Don't you DARE take that shirt off,Black!. . .Or the pants!"
Very Short Flashback ends
"Not throw my glasses!" James replied leaning over Lily towards Sirius,"Can I have my glasses back?"
"Why do you even need your glasses? Your going to sleep. . .or are you?" Sirius asked,not handing James' his glasses,but examining them.
"Just give me the glasses,Sirius." James hissed.
"Give him the bloody glasses,Black!" Lily called,being smashed by James as he leaned over her and Remus.
"Yes,please. I'm being sufficated here." Remus put in politely.
"Right,here." Sirius said,throwing the glasses back at James.
Landing a tad off course.
Out the open window.
. . .Down. . .
. . .Down. . .
. . .Down. . .
. . .Down. . .
. . .Do-Well you get the picture.
The glasses fell to the grounds below.
"Oops." Sirius said sheepishly.
"Sirius,if I could reach you I would kill you!" James yelled hysterically as he tried to get up and look out the window,only to fall off the super bed,one foot hanging on top of the bed,next to Lily's foot.
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. . ." Peter snored.
"How does he sleep through all this racket?" Alice asked exasperated.
"Who knows." James answered angerily as he pulled himself awkwardly back on the bed."You could have helped me you know." He said to Lily.
"ZZZZZZzzzzz. . ." Lily pretended to be asleep,ignoring James.
James rolled his eyes,stilling thinking about his glasses.
And about this crazy predicament they were in.
And that he was laying right next to Lily Evans.
And Lily Evans was laying right next to him.
. . .Unwillingly. . .but still. . .
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And that chapter is done! Now to update 'All Because of Bludger'. It's 11:05pm here right now,so I might not finish that till tomorrow,but I'll finish it,promise. Thanks for reading and I hope you review my story!
Just Another Harry Potter Fan