Disclaimer: I own nothing. Zero. Zilch.
Author's Note: Hello, again. : ) It's been a while. . .
To see REVIEW RESPONSES checkout my LIVEJOURNAL which has a link located on my PROFILE. I will not be responding in the chapters anymore. Sorry!
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Chapter 13-Singing Celestina Warbeck Boxers
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"Peter?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are your clothes flying around the room?" James asked as he and Remus walked into the dorm the next day.
After cleaning her desk and daydreaming about Dreamy Herbert, Madame Pomfrey found James fit to leave the hospital wing, his friends in tow.
Apologizes were made from the crowd to Lily. Apologizes were made from Lily to Remus for making him a hostage. Apologizes were made from Sirius to Lily for making the tiny misunderstanding. And apologizes were made from Emma and Alice to Lily for believing an idiot like Black.
James, for once, watched from the sidelines. Thoroughly and utterly confused.
It was the next day and Remus and James had gone outside for a while, while, Sirius went to the kitchens to say his farewells to the house elfs (along with having some chocolate cake and a few other food items-it was only a good-bye gift to the house elfs, eating their food, that was all. It would make them happy till he came back next term).
Peter stayed behind searching for a lost book that was way overdue; he need to turn it in to the library. He didn't much want a visit from Madame Pince, the librarian.
Peter spun around quickly, arm in the air, grasping a rapidly moving pair of socks. "Well, er, you see. . .my trunk wouldn't exactly stay closed so I had to take everything out and reorganize. But then I got tired and bored-Do you know how boring organizing a trunk can be?" He asked, ducking as pants flew at him and slammed into a bed post.
Remus pulled out his wand calmly, "Oh, yes, organizing a trunk sounds awful." He muttered sarcastically. "Immobulus." He said, his wand lighting as he pointed it towards a pair of boxers. Nothing happened. The boxers kept moving. James and Remus stared, then turned Peter.
"What did you do?" Remus asked accusingly.
"Yeah, what did you do?" James asked a little less accusingly and more vaguely. It seemed getting knocked in the head by a door didn't get James' mind from one Lily Evans. He ducked as the pair of socks Peter was grasping, escaped and flew at him.
Peter grabbed a pillow and wacked a shoe in the opposite direction,"Well. . ." He trailed off weakly,"I'm not exactly sure. . ."
"Not exactly?" Remus asked hysterically just as a scarf flew into his face, smothering him.
"Yeah. I tried that spell you taught me yesterday, Remus, but I must have said something wrong." Peter explained, covering his head with the pillow as another shoe came his way. The shoe bounced off the pillow and into James direction.
James yelped,"Are you trying kill us?" He grabbed a nearby book that wasn't flying around and wacked the shoe away, only for it to crash through one of the dorm windows, flying through the air and onto the grounds. The window shattered to pieces. "Oh, bloody Dumbledore. Forget Peter trying to kill us, Mcgongall's going to kill us."
"We can fix-" Remus ducked and grabbed a nearby broom (not a broomstick for quidditch, but a broom for cleaning. They were put in all of the dorm rooms of Hogwarts. The 5th year, Gryffindor boys' dormroom broom was never once touch though, somehow. Hmmm. . .) "-Fix the window. Let's just hope Professor Mcgongall won't walk in right now to see it-" Another shoe flew through the dorm door, leaving a massive hole were it went through,"-Or that." Remus finished, managing to point his wand to the window and repair.
James carefully made his way to the door and peered through it. It was down to the level of his stomach, so he had to bend over. At first, all he saw was the dorm wall, but then, the wall disappeared behind another stomach. He tilted his head curiously, wondering who was out there. He hoped it wasn't Mcgongall. He really didn't want detention for making a hole in the door the first night back next term.
James was so preoccupied with the unpleasant thoughts of Mcgongall finding out about dorm, that he didn't notice that the figure moved forward and duck down to his level, peering at him throught the shoe hole. It was Sirius. "Hey, James."
"Oh, hey, Sirius."
"What's with the hole?"
"Oh, one of Peter's shoes flew through it."
"Oh. . .you mean the one flying around the common room right now?" Sirius asked casually.
"Yeah, that one." James responded back also casually, as if the room he was standing in didn't have Peter's clothes flying around.
"Huh." Sirius said, his head leaving the hole for a moment, then returning,"Okay, well, bye." It left and James saw only his stomach once again.
James pondered where Sirius was going.
He pondered no more as the door swung open, right at his head. He stumbled back craddling his head,"Ow! Sirius, you bloody lunatic! Why didn't you tell me-ow!" James wass cut off as toothbrush was thrown at the back of his head. He sat down on the closest bed and held his head.
What did the world have against his head? That was third time in two days he was hit in the head. Maybe Evans hexed things to fly at his head, trying to "deflate" it or something. He doubted it would make his head smaller, maybe make it bashed up and uneven in some places, but not smaller.
"Oy, what happened to you?" He heard Sirius asked him as he walked in the room.
"Oh, some lunatic hit me in the head as he opened the door." James replied, glaring at Sirius, a knot forming on his head.
Realization dawned on Sirius' head,"Oh. Sorry, Prongs. Merlin, that's one big knot you've got there. Doors just don't like you, do they-woah!" Sirius exclaimed as one of Peter red and white striped boxers whizzed past him. "What's with the boxers?" He asked, looking around the room.
Remus and Peter ignored him, one trying desperately to swat and grab up the clothes, the other trying to find a spell to stop this disaster. Just guess who was doing what.
James also ignored him as he was hit in the head once again with a red slipper. The impact wasn't as bad as a door or toothbrush, but it was going at a pretty speedy speed.
He groaned and grabbed the slipper as it started to fly away, throwing it threw the hole in the door. James slowly slumped over, closing his eyes, a huge headache coming to him. He ignored the tie floating, at a rather slow speed, around him.
He did not expect to hear an outcry of,"Ow! What in the name of Merlin is going on up here?" five seconds later from outside the door.
He panicked.
Remus panicked.
Peter pan-looked around in confusion.
Sirius also looked around in confusion. "What-?"
Remus snatched up a shirt and held it behind his back, the shirt resisting, trying to escape,"It's Professor Mcgongall!" He hissed.
James shot up off the bed, trying to ignore his headaching, and got out of of the seeing range of the hole in the door.
Sirius cursed and also tried to get out of the line of vision of the hole in the door, holding a shirt in front of him.
Peter began to grab at anything that came into his range, managing to grab a pair of pants and a mateless sock that had Christmas trees singing 'Deck the Halls' in three different languages, holding them behind his back also.
All the while clothes still zooming around the room.
The Marauders held their breath as a figures stomach appeared in front of the door. It looked rather impatient. How a stomach could look impatient, only the Marauders could know.
The doorknob turned in slow motion (well, in the Marauders minds. It was actually turning fast), then swung open in fast motion this time.
Before the person could get a word in edgewise, the boys started explaining the situation. Mostly, lying actually.
"We just got here, Professor! It was already like this!"
"That hole in the door has always been here, Professor."
"We didn't make the hole in the door!"
Only, Remus, it seemed told the truth. What a suprise.
"Professor, Peter messed up a spell and, well, you see the results. . ."
He trailed off as they realized that the person not Professor Mcgongall, but Lily Evans.
She looked mighty ticked off with her foot tapping and arms crossed over her chest. Behind the ticked off look, there was a bewildered expression at the sight of flying clothes.
There was silence, except for Peter's mateless 'Deck the Halls' in three languages sock.
No one said anything.
"Well. . .hi, Evans. What a. . .a suprise to see you. We were just. . .just playing a bit of. . .clothes quidditch." Sirius said, backing away. He was trying his best to avoid Lily for a while, to let her cool off some, after the incident in the hospital wing.
Lily looked over at Sirius with a raised eyebrow.
"Have you ever played it before? It's quite fun." He continued, shirt in his hold violently pulling away now. "Right, James?" Sirius asked, glancing over at James, thinking James would absolutely love a chance to talk with Evans.
James, not to anyone's surprise and to Sirius' relief, spoke. Whether James was just used to Lily's ticked-offness or he didn't notice it, the other Marauders did not know. "Oh, yeah, Sirius. It's a great game, Evans. Have to give it a go sometime, I tell you. Yeah. . ." He trailed off as a pair of pants flew dangerously close to Lily.
He laughed nervously, soon joined by the rest of the Marauders.
Lily finally opened her mouth,"Well-oof!"
A pair of white boxers that had the name Celestina Warbeck, in bold black letters, flying all over, flew straight into Lily's face. It seemed to be singing a fairly new and popular song by her,"You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me".
Now, how and why Peter Pettigrew had a pair of those boxers, no one knew, not even his fellow Marauders. How no one seemed to hear "You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me" playing whenever Peter Pettigrew walked by or was sitting in transfiguration, pretending to take notes, but actually sleeping, was a mystery.
It was silent once again, except for Peter's mateless 'Deck the Halls' in three languages sock and his Celestina Warbeck boxers. And possibly Hogwarts' school song being sung somewhere unknown by, without a doubt, a clothes item.
Just then, Alice walked calmly into the room,"Hey, Lily, what's going on up h. . .er. . ." She trailed off nervously at the sight of boxers on Lily's face.
Lily stumbled backwards some, Celestina Warbeck boxers smothering her face. She began to scream. "Get it off, get it off, get-it-off Get this bloody thing off me!"
Sirius snickered.
Remus panicked.
Peter panicked and turned red.
James panicked and about had heart attack. "Peter, get your bloody singing boxers off Evans!" He made to run over to her, but tripped on the broom that was suppose to be used to clean their dorm, only it never was. He hit his head on the floor. Who knows, maybe with all this head hitting, James' head would actually get smaller. . .or, more realistically, it would swell even larger then what it was.
"Oh! Yeah!" Peter said, somewhat startled. He carefully dived through the whirlwind of clothes and made it to Lily. He struggled and finally got the boxers off a screaming Lily.
Peter quickly backed away, boxers in hand, towards Remus and Sirius, who had walked over to James after he tripped, starting to get concerned by how many head injures he had got in two days.
Lily lay on the floor, breathing heavily, face red, hair a mess. She stood up after a few seconds, a scowl on her face. She glanced around the room until her eyes landed on the three Marauders surrounding a groaning James.
Alice stepped forwards some,"Lily, are you alright?"
Lily didn't answer. Instead, she walked towards the boys'.
Alice back up some now,"Uh, oh. I'd better get Emma." She ran out of the room.
The boys' winced as Lily walked over.
James sat up on his elbows as Lily stopped a few feet away. "See?. . .Er. . .clothes quidditch can be fun, eh?. . .ha. . .ha. . .ha. . .Right. . ." He trailed off in defeat as Lily glared.
"Why, in the name of Merlin, is there clothes-boxers-flying around? What are you four up to now? Trying to murder me?" She asked.
No one answered. Probably better that way.
"If you were, at least try something not so. . .disgusting as having a pair of singing boxers smother me." She said, glancing (warily?) at the struggling boxers behind Peter's back.
"We weren't trying to murder you, Evans. Whatever gave you that idea-" Sirius was cut off by a sharp elbowing in his ribs by Remus.
"Sirius is right. We weren't trying to murder you. Peter just accidently messed up a packing spell on his clothes and we can't reverse it." Remus said.
"It's true!" Peter put in as Lily eyed them skeptically.
She sighed tiredly,"Okay, I suppose I won't give you detention, since it was an accident."
The Marauders sighed in relief. "Good."
"I should, though." Lily added quickly,"After what you put me through yesterday." She glared at Sirius.
"But you won't and that's the good part about it-" James was cut off as the door flew open.
"-Emma, I'm telling you, Lily was being attacked by boxers singing Celestina's Warbeck's new song!"
Alice and Emma walked into the room hurridly. Before anyone could get a word in edgewise, the door flew open again.
Professor Mcgongall.
An angry Professor Mcgongall stood in the doorway. . .holding a shoe.
A shoe that could through the hole in the door very well indeed.
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(Hogwarts Express, the Next Day)
"So. . .Peter." Sirius said, flipping a page in a quidditch magazine entitled, Broomsticks and Bludgers.
"Yeah?" Peter asked, read off a chocolate frog card while munching on a licorice wand.
"Why do you have sing Celestina Warbeck boxers?" He asked slyly, a smirk on his face.
Remus and James looked up from a game of Wizards Chess; a grin on their faces also.
Peter's face burned,"I don't know. They just were there. . ."
"They just flew into your trunk one day?" James asked. Sirius and Remus snickered.
"Oh, shut up!" Peter called throwing a chocolate frog card at each of them.
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"Hey, Evans."
Lily groaned and turned around facing James, hand clutching her trunk tightly.
"Listen, I'm sorry about the whole singing boxer thing-" He started.
"I never want to hear one word about that." Lily cut him off. She scanned the crowd of leaving students, searching for her parents.
"Oh, right, sure." James said, a faint grin coming to his face as he remembered the incident.
Lil noticed,"Stop smirking like that. It wasn't funny."
"No, of course not."
"Stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Smirking!"
"I wasn't smirking!"
"Yes, you were-there you go again! Your smirking again-!"
"Lily? Is that you?" A voice said behind Lily herself.
She and James both looked behind to see her parents (James guessed they were her parents since he saw Lily leave with them last year).
"Mum! Dad!" Lily said, now in a happy voice, forgetting about James.
James stood back as Lily and her parents hugged and talked and did all the other stuff everyone did when they met their parents at Kings Cross Station at the end of term.
Finally, Mrs. Evans noticed James standing behind Lily as Lily herself was explaining some charm she'd learned that year.
"Lily, who might this be? One of your little friends?" Mrs. Evans asked smiling kindly at James.
Lily stopped talking and looked (along with her father) curiously in the direction in which her mother was looking. She scowled.
James smiled an innocent smile.
"He's not one of my fr-" James stepped forward, cutting Lily off.
"James Pot-"
Lily cut James off,"James Pothead. This is James Pothead. We're in the same house."
James shot a look at Lily as she smiled innocently between him and her parents.
Her parents looked a bit curiously at the two for moment, before Lily's mother stepped forward some. "Hello, James. It's so nice to meet one of Lily's friends."
"We're in the same house." Lily hastily reminded her.
"Hello, Mr. Pothead." Lily's father said, shaking James hand.
"Hello, Mr. Evans. Mrs. Evans." James said. He put and arm around Lily's shoulder and grinned lopsidedly,"Your daughter and I are not just friends-"
Lily's face was horror-stricken. He wouldn't go saying that they were-were going out to her parents, would he?
"-We're best friends."
Lily sighed some. She had never been so happy for James Potter saying they were best friends.
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A/N: There it is. BYW, I don't own the song "You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me", by Celestina Warbeck.
JAHPF