2. Hard As Stone
It seems like it has been dead silent for hours as we all take in Mourning Dove's arrival. No one has spoken again as we all silently worship this beautiful, mystifying, sleeping creature in my arms. Occasionally, I hear delicate, happy, complacent sighs from the women. Even her big brothers quietly adore her as they too cuddle in their great-aunt's arms. It's like she's the most marvelous, reverend, sacred queen and we are her absolutely, unquestionably devoted, faithful followers. I barely take my eyes from her because I am worried she'll disappear. I'm still in shock that I have a fourth child, a sweet little girl, and I'm afraid I'm actually dreaming and this could all just disappear when I awaken.
But, of course I'm not asleep, as I soon find out when a sudden, unexpected pain so excruciating rocks me back into reality and makes me wish I was dreaming, or better yet, dead.
"Rrrraaaagh! Oh my God! What the…" Renesmee shrieks so loudly and suddenly that it might've actually startled her vampire family.
"I am having some pain again… I can't breathe… it's too much… help… help… " She huffs out between pants. Bella has snatched Mourning Dove and passed her to Esme because Renesmee is writhing on the bed. Jacob is trying to hold her by her shoulders and yelling for help too. Everyone feels panicked but clueless as to what to do. All four babies are wailing and crying and reaching for their mother.
"This must be the afterbirth now, unless… another child?" Carlisle says but is secretly unsure because of the surprise forth child and all of the other possibilities running through his head. He decides to plunge the "just-in-case" needle of morphine into her chest. She wasn't supposed to need pain relief seeing as she has never felt any actual pain before. Everyone figured she was incapable.
"Everyone stay calm! The morphine should kick in any second."
"Please, my belly! Ow, ow, ooow! Nooo, ahhhh-ughh!" Renesmee claws at her abdomen while rolling and thrashing and bawling from the pain. A pain that is so much worse than the brief labor of Mourning Dove.
"Carlisle, the morphine is not taking effect! She's burning! It's stronger than the burn of turning!" Edward has un-willingly dropped to his knees. He twists and moans as he too suffers along with his daughter as he reads her mind and feels the horrific burn. He stiffly crawls closer to Renesmee and grabs her hand, together they face the burn.
Bella yells, "No! Not happening!" as she vehemently throws her shield at them both. Edward visibly relaxes but Renesmee continues to scream and writhe. Jacob is pouring sweat while trying to hold her and comfort her. Tears gather in his eyes as he witnesses the love of his life burn to death.
"Why is she still hurting, Bella?!" Jacob yells violently without taking his eyes from Renesmee's face.
"I don't know! I'm so sorry Renesmee, Oh my poor girl, I'm trying!"
"It's something happening within herself… radiating from her abdomen… it can't be stopped or tamped out," Edward tells everyone and then tells Bella to lift her shield so that he can suffer along with his daughter. Bella looks stricken as her loved one suffers and she shakes her head back and forth at top speed.
"No, Edward! I can't! I can't bear both of you… don't ask me too!" He nods slightly an approval and she takes a place at their sides to whisper encouraging and supportive words to Renesmee. She vividly remembers the burn too and she feels like she is re-living that un-imaginable experience. Please, oh please let it end, let it end already! Bella prays to herself for Renesmee's pain to stop and then screams out-loud, "Oh my God! Let it end already! Carlisle, what can we do?! Please! Say there's something else to help her through this!"
Everyone is wearing a mask of despair, worry and horror as they quietly wait for this event to pass or change. Carlisle has tried to check her and make sure there wasn't another child or hemorrhaging to which he found none of either.
"Edward, you said it is the burn of turning… is she turning?" Carlisle asks the question on everyone's mind.
Jacob answers before Edward can, "I don't care if she turns to vamp or wolf or a duck, just please don't let her die!"
"She won't! She won't die Jacob! I can see her future!" Alice looks as relieved as she sounds. There is a moment of huffs and sighs as everyone seems too take a collective breath of relief.
"I don't think she's turning, but something different is happening. Some sort of change to her vamp side is taking place." Edward has trouble translating those horrible feelings into words to form an explanation.
After a few more minutes of agony, Renesmee's pain levels gradually start to lessen and she seems able to think and breathe again.
"Oh my, ugggh, so horrible… thank you… oh, thank you, it's getting better… it's getting better. It's feeling like it's not so intense…" Renesmee slows her breathing and panting and movement as she shakily grabs onto Jacob and holds him tight and close. She continues to moan a bit as she deals with the aftershocks and twinges of pain. Jacob holds her close and soothingly strokes the hair from her face and continues down her neck and back over and over. He repeatedly whispers "I'm right here" and "you're gonna be okay" and "I love you" into Renesmee's ear, neck and forehead. He is clearly still so shaken and uncertain. The babies are all shaken and continue to whine and fuss for their mother. Slowly, Renesmee was able to explain what happened to her.
"My womb, as it burned, it tightened and shrunk. The burning pain radiated from my womb and traveled throughout my veins to the tips of my toes and fingers." Renesmee explains in a tired, hoarse voice. "I could feel my womb gradually shrink and harden into a small stone. A stone hot like it was taken from the heart of a campfire. The pain started to lessen as my stone-womb cooled off and continued to harden." Renesmee places her palm to Jacob's cheek, looks into his eyes, and shows him what she says out loud for all to hear, "Jacob, we will have no more children."