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Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
"A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri
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Chapter 12
Hetty Lange looked at the time as she sat at the table with the scrabble board in front of her. The morning had not been going as planned. After a restless night's sleep, with dreams of the past, of friends long gone; she got an email from Callen, wanting to meet with her, to talk about Sarah.
She tried to hide her reaction when she met with him, and he told her that he was taking himself off the case willingly. He wasn't going to stop Sarah from doing this mission. He was in love with her, and she asked him to do this, to protect him. This news did not stop the feeling of dread that she had about tonight. Callen was right, the plan was not good, but she learned, a long time ago, to trust Sarah's instinct, and let her do the job. She just prayed that Sarah was right about this.
"You still have this?" Leroy Jethro Gibbs asked, as he sat down next to her, snapping out of her daydreaming.
"Yes. It's still my favorite gift from you," she started placing the letters down in the middle of the board.
They played the game when they were out in public, to talk about business. They never kept score….much. He looked at the first word that she placed on the board.
Любовь (Love)
The waitress came over, "Coffee please," he told her, and wished he could order something stronger. He picked some of the tiles out of the lid and placed them down on the board.
Прошлые (Past)
"How bad is it?" He asked.
неприятности (Trouble)
"What did she tell you when you talked to her?" she asked.
"Everything as far as I know," He said.
Секреты (Secrets), Hetty laid the new word down.
"Then it's as bad as you thought," She said, "I'm glad that you both have been there over the years."
"I would have never have known her if it wasn't for Bill,"
"Do you agree with this plan?" she asked.
правила (Rules), Gibbs methodically laid one tile after the other.
"Having her as bait? No. It's dangerous and it could backfire on her. But, like you I trust her instincts. I'm here because I got a bad vibe. You know her rule of not ignoring the bad vibes." He looked for some tiles in the box, "You also know that I have a rule when it comes to her,"
"What rule is that?"
"Never try and stop a red head, because she's going to do it anyway."
Hetty smiled, "Stubborn, like her parents,"
"And her Godmother has a big influence on her too you know,"
She sighed, "Did she tell you how close Sullivan and her were?"
He nodded, "Are you surprised?"
Счастливой (Happy), the tiles Hetty placed clicked on the board.
"No, but I am surprised that you both hid from me." She looked at him with hurt in her eyes.
Сломанной (Broken), using one hand he produced each, like a magician, from his palm.
"She asked me not to. It was doomed when he took over," He said knowing that was not what she meant, "She begged me not to tell you about her and Sullivan," He admitted.
"She hid everything from me and made me actually make a deal for me to stay while that idiot got no blame at all,"
Прощение (Forgiveness), these were laid softly, and with some regret.
"That idiot is rising in the ranks, Hetty. If she wasn't with Sullivan you know she would have been with Callen sooner. That was your plan all along."
Ошибки (Mistakes), his eyes remained on her face as he spelled the word.
"They were going to leave the agency," Hetty told him.
"She would have missed it,"
Hetty smiled remembering seeing the only picture that she saw of Sarah and Daniel together, "No she wouldn't."
"Where is she now?" Gibbs asked.
Сейф (Safe), her shoulders slumped ever so slightly.
"He talked to me today,"
"To stop her?" Picking up a couple of tiles.
"He's no longer on the case,"
любовь (Love), she waited for him to see her error.
Gibbs looked at the board, "You already have that word," He pointed out to her.
"That how he feels about her,"
"And this one?" he asked pointing out the first word she had on the board.
"She said it first, told him that she was going to talk to me about taking him off the case." She took out the envelope, "Plans are in here with everything you need to have," She put the key on the table,
"Everything you need in storage," Hetty picked up her phone as it vibrated. "Bugger," she said looking at the message.
"What's wrong?" Gibbs asked picking up the keys.
"Sam just got back to the office, he wanted me to know that Sarah told him that she wanted to this happened with Reardon no matter what happens to her," She put her phone away and switched out the tiles.
"Alright," He took the envelope and placed it in his coat pocket. "What is it?"
She picked up the tiles knowing that if she was asked to do this she would not be able to keep that promise, Жива (Alive)
Gibbs looked at it the word and sighed, "I'll do my best," Gibbs said as he walked away.
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Later that day Sarah sat as Hetty put in the long hair pin in her hair. "You're very quiet tonight." Hetty said knowing that this was her usual routine before performing.
"I have a lot on my mind."
"You know you can always talk to me if you want,"
Sarah turned to her, "As my Godmother or my Boss?"
"Godmother,"
"I'm scared." Sarah finally admitted.
Hetty stood there for a moment and then turned to look for another long hairpin, "Do you remember one of your first missions with Gibbs in London?" Hetty asked.
"He was getting information about some weapons and nearly got made at a poker game."
"What did you do?"
"Before the singer got back onstage I gave her all the money I had and told her to take a walk around the block. I asked her what the manager's favorite song was and sang for him."
"You made the manager think that he was the only one in the room. Gibbs got out safe."
"We barely had money to get back to the safe house." Sarah smiled, remembering Gibbs getting angry with her for what she did but thanking her when they got back to the hotel.
Hetty placed the second long hairpin in her hair, "But you got him out. You did what some agents who just started could not do and that is you think on your feet. You were more nervous back then compared to now. You can do this." She looked at her in the mirror. "Perfect." Hetty smiled.
She stood up, "So this is it,"
"Think of it as role not a mission,"
She nodded, "Just a role,"
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Sarah watched Callen pace in the bullpen. "You're going to wear grove in the tile," She said walking in and placing the earwig box in her purse.
"Nervous?" Callen asked her.
"A little," She lied.
"Break a leg,"
"Is that for performing or for Reardon?" She joked.
He smiled, "Performing. Kick Reardon's ass so Sam can arrest him."
"So I get to do all the work again," She teased.
"He doesn't want you to take all the credit," He saw her beginning to relax a little, "Meet at the boathouse after,"
She nodded as she picked up her purse. "I wish we were there now."
"I know." He kissed her. "I'll be watching,"
"You better, the song I'm singing is for you,"
"I'm honored," He kissed her again.
She heard her phone beep and knew that it was Kensi texting her to get moving. "I love you," she looked at him trying not to panic.
"Love you too." He said slowly letting her go.
She turned and quickly walked out of the bullpen.
"Agent Burgess," Hetty said, standing at the top of the stairs.
Sarah stopped and looked up at Hetty, "Yes ma'am,"
"Think on your feet," she said.
Sarah smiled, "Will do," and rushed out the door.
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When they walked into the bar, Sarah noticed people in the room turn and look at her. She did a quick look around the room seeing Deeks in the far right corner. Then she spotted Reardon walk out of the kitchen with an empty bin. He hadn't changed much since she saw him over ten years ago. She could still kick herself for not knowing that he was there.
"Earth to Sarah," Kensi said.
Sarah snapped out of her daze, "Sorry. I just…."
"You can do this," Nell said putting her hand on her shoulder for support.
"Table is right over here," she said leading the way.
"Hey Hun, I'm so sorry to hear about April," Sue said putting her arm around Sarah.
"I found out when I got back in town," She said, "I can't believe it,"
"Well with everything going on Management has a reward for any information about what happened. If you need anything you let us know,"
"I will," She told her, then she saw Reardon out of the corner of her eye putting glasses in the bin and nearly dropping the bin when he saw her there. She sat down, "He knows I'm here," She said.
"Good," Hetty said. "Let's hope he takes the bait. Whenever you're ready to do this Agent Burgess,"
"Copy that,"
"Here," Nell handed her a drink.
"I didn't order this,"
"I know, Hetty did, drink."
Sarah took the drink and knew right away what it was, "Rusty Nail?"
Nell nodded, "Hetty's favorite."
"When are you going on?" Kensi asked
Sarah sighed and took the shot, feeling the burning go down her throat. "Now," She said and put the glass down. Sarah grabbed Kensi's hand, placed something in it and closed it. "Hang on to this," She said, then got up and walked away.
"What?" Kensi opened her hand to find Sarah's earwig. "Oh crap."
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Callen, Hetty, Nate, and Eric watched the screen as Sarah got up and walked over to and walked to the DJ. "She's not ready," Callen said quietly.
"How do you know?" Hetty asked thinking the same thing.
"She's different when she sings."
"You can tell just by her walking?" Nate asked.
"It's like she's already in character and as quickly as she can do it she's back to herself within seconds,"
"Let's give her a minute to get ready. Remember a lot has happened since last Thursday," She reminded them.
Sarah walked up the stairs and stood on the stage. A couple of people clapped in support of her and she smiled. The piano music started. She looked around the room and then looked in the direction of where Callen would have been.
"I should be there." He saw her reaction as she tried to look away from the bar and looked at the words come up on the screen.
"Heart…." She barely sang.
"She's not ready for this,"
"Give her time," Hetty said.
"She's scared." Nate said wondering if they all made the wrong decision to let her do this.
"I have watched her sing on of the most important and hardest days of her life; I know she can do this." Hetty said standing up.
"Brave," Sarah's voice cracked and the look of panic was now beginning to show.
"Come on Sarah, pull it together," Hetty said quietly.
Sarah closed her eyes, "Stop the music." She took a couple of deep breaths and opened her eyes when the music stopped, "I changed my mind."
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