Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the Last Bender or its characters
Pointers: 'italics' means that the character is thinking
Summary: He hadn't seen her since the day he was banished, but he could still remember the way the wind had drifted her away. Zuko x OC
Book 3: Fire
The Day of the Black Sun
Jiyuu had tossed and turned in her bed, finding lying on her side to be uncomfortable. Her eyes had fluttered open and she had seen the face of someone she hadn't expected to be there. Instead of spazzing, like she wanted to, she immediately sat up as she had seen Zuko's sleeping form lying down on the bed with his clothes of the previous day still on and he was outside of the blankets. Her surprised expression had then softened and a smile appeared on her face. She hesitantly, but boldly, moved her hand towards his face. It was the right side of his face that she had touched, his scarred left side not in view but against the giant, soft pillow. Her thumb, in a slow notion, had rubbed against his cheek. Her fingers then spread apart and then gently slid down from his cheek and down to his jaw. Soon the back of her fingers had caressed his soft, pale skin. It felt natural to do it, it made her feel happy. A smile had formed on her face, she felt like this was somehow right.
He had shifted in his sleep after the next stroke of Jiyuu's loving gesture, his eyes slowly opening and staring back at her. Nervous, she drew her hand back and found herself unable to say anything. How , Jiyuu of all people, had she become speechless by Zuko's stare? Was it because they had crossed the line by admitting their feelings to each other? Or was it because she couldn't simply look at him like she could before? Her eyes had shyly looked away from his and before her hand could slip away from his cheek, he had reached his hand to stop her. "You don't have to stop now that I'm awake."
"That's not why I was going to stop." She replied, her hand still being held by his. She still found herself unable to look at him, but he continued to stare at her as if it was no big deal.
His eyebrow rose in an arch, "Then why?"
"Because I wanted to." She furrowed her brows and then roughly took her hand away, "I don't know why I need to be questioned."
The Prince merely rolled his eyes, "You don't have to lie."
"I'm not lying!" She argued before folding her arms. "Okay, I'm lying."
Jiyuu saw the smirk forming on his face from the corner of her eyes which made her frown deepen. "I was meaning to tell you that Aang had sent you a letter back. Its on the dresser." Quickly, the airbender jumped off the bed and went towards the brown dresser and picked up the rolled up paper. "You weren't going to tell me about the invasion?"
The female stiffened at his words and she found herself unable to read the paper. Did he read it? How did he know? "You read my letter?" She asked him as she turned around to see him standing before her and it startled her but she had stood her ground.
"I didn't think there would be anything to hide." He said as she looked up at him, her eyes shining with guilt and anger.
"What did you want me to do? Tell you so you can stop Aang?" She asked as she looked down at the letter in her hands.
He took the letter from her and placed it back on the vanity, his hands soon found themselves on her tiny waist. The whole time, the airbender stood there in shock with her cheeks the bright shade of red. "I was expecting you to have more faith in me. I already know what I want." He pulled her body suddenly closer to his own. "Do you think I'm pathetic?" His face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath as he spoke. "I know what I'm supposed to choose, but I'm still too much of a coward to do it..." As his eyes looked into hers, she could see the turbulent storm of emotions just behind them: anger at himself, frustration with his own indecisiveness, disappointment... misery. "I never thought I could get this messed up because of a girl."
Jiyuu felt her face reddened, "Don't blame this on me!" She fought back, unable to say more because she felt like she was frozen in place as he pushed her down onto the bed. He was still on top of her with both his hands on her wrist, pinning her down.
"My choice is for you to stay by my side forever. I'll always make that choice. The more important something is to you, the more you have to give up to have it. I'm sure this won't be the last time I'll have to choose between you and something else that means a lot to me... But I know that I'll choose you every time. That's what it means to be in love, right?"
Zuko had never before laid his heart quite so bare as he did in that moment, and when he did Jiyuu's heart ached for him. She looked up into those golden eyes with longing. She knew that no matter how much she was afraid of how far he would go for his father's acceptance, he was irreplaceable. His eyes, his face, his emotions... Zuko himself. She couldn't ever let him go. "You..." Her voice cracked as she spoke, "chose me?"
"Yeah..." A cloud flickered across his eyes, and in it she saw the life he lived for song long- the path of the exiled prince, the lost soul, the longing of camaraderie. Of acceptance. Then it was gone. "This is the path I've chosen, to spend everyday with you. So don't ever think I don't love you. You know what you want. Don't be afraid of it." Jiyuu smiled softly as he removed her wig, her brown locks now free. She felt her pants loosen, and shivered as with each kiss that landed on her lips. "Are you scared, Jiyuu?"
Jiyuu shook her head, "No." She answered. She wasn't scared- or at least not in the way he feared. Nervous, certainly. Excited, perhaps. But the most powerful, most overwhelming feeling of that moment was the desire for him to be closer to her. Even the tightest embrace still seemed too much distance. She wanted to give him everything there was of her.
"Are you sure?" He asked again, but she reached out toward him, her hand trembling. He then met it with his own. His hand was warm and strong, and his fingers wove themselves through hers and gripped it tight, as if he would never let go.
"Zuko..." Her whisper was scarcely more than a sigh and before she could even continue to speak, he pressed their lips together. The kiss was long and passionate. When they finally drew apart, she closed her eyes and strained to commit to memory this feeling, so that she might never forget it: the heat of their bodies pressed against one another the sound of his heartbeat. As their bodies became one, she vowed silently to herself that whatever she could do for him, she would without a second guess. Without a doubt.
It was now the afternoon and Jiyuu found herself awake again, she had sat up and then felt a cold breeze past by her. Shivering, her wrapped her arms across her torso but she felt bareskin. She looked down, her face turning read again. That's right... She had made love to Zuko earlier this morning. Her innocence, her purity was taken by him. Jiyuu couldn't help but smile at that since he was the only one she could ever imagine giving herself to. That's when she looked to her left and noticed he wasn't there, probably having things to do. Picking her wig from up off the floor, she hid her hair in and placed many pins to keep it in place.
Soon the door had opened and her eyes widened with fear, but then she sighed of relief when she had seen that it was Hana. Hana, however, gave her a wide-eyed look. "Whoa! Why are you-" Before she could ask her question, she immediately closed and locked the door behind her before walking, or more like running, towards Jiyuu. "Why are you naked?!" She asked as Jiyuu laughed nervously.
"Well, me and Zuko.. uh... We had, well, you know what!" To be as old as she was, you would figured she would be adult enough to tell one of her closest friends that she just made love with the boy she had loved.
Hana nearly freaked out, but out of joy at most. "Oh my Agni!" She wrapped her arms around her friend, disregarding that the girl was shirtless and bindless. "I'm so glad for you two!"
"Your acting like we got married or something." Her friend replied with an less enthusiastic tone, but anyone could tell that the airbender was happy.
"I have to tell Hana and Taki, I bet they would be so happy." She clapped her hands as Jiyuu rolled her eyes.
"I just need my clothes for today. I don't want to be stuck inside this room." Jiyuu had moved the blanket, Sen looking away at her friend's naked form. "Oh come on, its not like you haven't seen me naked before!" Jiyuu said as her friend glared at her from the corner of her eyes and at Jiyuu's first step, she immediately fell.
The servant quickly tried to help the brunette up, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, but it feel like... I can't walk." The airbender said in much of a panic, her legs buckling as she stood and she kept slouching.
Sen began to mumble something, "Prince Zuko was quite rough wasn't he? He looks like the type too."
"What did you say?" asked Jiyuu as she looked at Sen from the corner of her eyes, who was blushing a fire red and shaking her head.
"I didn't say anything!" Sen had lied to Jiyuu, "I'll take you to the bathtub. It should help loosen the muscles in your legs."
After taking a nice, hot bath and getting her clothes ready for the day. Jiyuu had decided to spend her time at the pond where the turtle ducks had swam about. Her hand was full of bread crumbs as she had offered it to them in her hands which reminded her of the way Ursa use to feed them. She had missed that woman dearly, the woman felt like a mother to her despite her already having her own. As she had sat under the tree in much needed relaxation, she had seen Zuko walked over to her and an upset look on his face as he took a seat beside her. "What's wrong?" She asked as he let out a sigh, "Okay, you don't wanna talk. Fine by me."
They had sat there in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before the boy beside her couldn't hold in his frustrations, "Why did I have find out from Azula that there was an all-day war meeting coming up?"
"Because maybe its obvious that you should be there. I mean, your the crown prince, and he doesn't know that he is still alive." Jiyuu whispered the last bit. Even though she hated Ozai with a fiery, burning passion she didn't want to see Zuko upset. The boy obviously loved and honored his father and wanted his father to love and honor him the same. Why did Zuko look for that delusional, psychotic's man approval? Jiyuu did not know, but she knew it stemmed down because Zuko, in a way, wanted to be like his father which Jiyuu had hoped he never would.
The boy sighed, "Azula said the same thing, well, except for the last part. Maybe I just wasn't invited, maybe I'm not good enough." He said as Jiyuu rested her head on his shoulder.
"It'll be fine, I promise you." She said as he kissed atop of her head, a way of saying thanks for trying to cheer him up. "Oh and by the way, why couldn't I walk earlier after you know, we... did the thing?" She slapped her hands together to signify their physical union.
Zuko gave her a dumbfounded expression, "How old are you and you don't know about se-"
"Stop! Don't say that word!" She slapped her hand over his mouth, "We made love not had that!"
She could tell that he was glaring at her through his gold eyes, but she didn't care. Jiyuu, no matter how old she is, felt uncomfortable by that word. When she removed her hand from her mouth, he was still staring at her. "It means that it was great."
"What?" Jiyuu squinted her eyes, "I mean it didn't feel great at first!"
"That's not what I meant." He sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Its perfectly normal, all right?"
The girl cut him a glare, "That's all you had to say."
"Are you saying this because you want another go at it?" A smirk formed on his face as her face immediately went red and she crawled away from him.
"W-What?! Stop teasing me!" She shook her fist at him as she folded her arms over her chest, "Your such a jerk."
"But I'm your jerk." Zuko said in a matter-of-fact tone which made her puff her cheeks, but smile at the same time.
Jiyuu was back in her room, sipping a nice cup of tea. She sighed sadly since the hot drink had made her think of Iroh, who was still imprisoned. She wished she could see him, but there was she could go in there unnoticed. Even in her new disguise, it would just make her look suspicious. Zuko had walked into her room with a frown adorning her face, "Your still upset?" She watched as he nodded his head. She shouldn't known that he wasn't going to let this go. He walked toward her and sat at the windowseat next to her as she placed her tea on the table to her right and her hands were now on his face. "Come on, cheer up. Let's see..." Jiyuu tried to think of ways to cheer him up.
All he wanted to do was sulk, but she wasn't going to let him. She pressed her lips against his cheek, her hands in his hair. There a knock on the door and Jiyuu looked at Zuko who looked at her as she got up and went to the door to open it. It was a messenger, he bowed and walked right in. "Prince Zuko," He bows to the ground, "everyone is waiting for you."
Jiyuu smiled at Zuko as he approached the man, "What?"
"The high admirals, high generals, the war ministers, and the princess have all arrived." He raised his head towards him, "You're the only person missing."
"So, my dad wants me at the meeting?" Jiyuu had found herself smiling even though she hated Ozai.
"The Fire Lord said he would not start until you arrived, sir." The messenger said as he bows his head again.
Zuko gave the man a firm nod and the messenger had left them. Jiyuu ran over to Zuko and he wrapped his arms around her, "He wants me there."
He gave her a kiss, but Jiyuu had pulled away from him. "You have to go and get ready, but I'll be waiting for you." She rubbed her thumb against his cheek as he gave another quick kiss before letting her go and walking out of her room.
Letting out a sigh, she inhaled the air to smell the strong and lovely scent of oak firedwood smoke. She was still surprised that she had realized her feelings for Zuko, she had loved him and he had felt the same. They had committed themselves to each other and she couldn't be more happier.
Several Hours later...
Zuko had exited the war chambers, Jiyuu was standing there talking to one of the guards who answered most of her questions about Fire Nation policies and such. When he had walked toward her, she dismissed herself from the guard and turned to Zuko. "So, how was it?" She asked him as he took her hand and walked forward down the hall. "When I got to the meeting, everyone welcomed me. My father had saved me a seat. He wanted me right next to him. I was literally at his right hand." He explained to her.
"That's what you wanted, right? That's one of the things you've always wanted." Jiyuu said as she continue to see this strange look on his face. He didn't look happy but more along the lines confused.
There was a large ornate picture of Ozai in front of them, Zuko looked up at the portrait while the airbender looked at him concerned and confused. "During the meeting, I was the perfect prince. The son my father always wanted. But I wasn't me." He bowed his head as Jiyuu pressed her hand against his cheeks, "What does this mean?"
"It means you had a change of heart, Zuko." She tried to explain by grabbing his hands, "You know what has to be done."
All he did was close his eyes and gently removed her hands from his face, "I need a walk." was all he said as Jiyuu watched him walk away.
It was nighttime and Jiyuu was lying down in her bed, her eyes open as she wondered what Zuko was going to do. He had promised that she would be by his side this morning, but did that mean that by his side as in her would keep her here or that he chose to be with her and fight alongside Aang? Jiyuu wasn't sure what he meant but she had hoped that the last option was what he would do. There was so much good that he could do for the world and for the Fire Nation, so why couldn't he see it? He could free the world from war and this Nation from the hatred. Why did his father override all those feelings and what it would mean to everyone? Did he not want to be Fire Lord? Did he not believe in himself? Did she give him any thought that he was only causing destruction?
As the thought swirled in her head, she had seen the light from the hallway come into her room from the open door. Jiyuu hadn't moved as the door closed and the footsteps had went towards her bed, she felt it move which meant Zuko was going to sleep in here again. Why? He hadn't bothered to talk to her since the war meeting. Did it mean that he finally thought something out? His arms had wrapped around her waist and pulled her so that her back was against his chest, her eyes widening but then a smile appearing at the gesture. No matter how irritated she was, his hold had cleared all the anger from her. "I thought about it some more. The invasion is tomorrow, right?" He asked as she nodded her head. "I'm going to join the Avatar."
Jiyuu had moved on her other side and looked up at him, "Is that what you really want? Don't do this because you think that I want this of you."
He stared at her for a while and she had awaited the answer which soon came, "I'm doing this because I need to." He felt her pressed her face against his chest, body was warm and his skin was soft. Jiyuu wanted to stay like this forever, never leaving this spot for the rest of her life.
"I'm glad that's how you feel." She said with her eyes closed as her his fingers ran through her brown hair. She sighed of content, but somewhere in her heart she had felt afraid. She could ignore it, Zuko had been honest with her and there was no need for her to think that he would lie. So much has happened, there was no need for her to worry about anything else.
A few hours later...
It was the middle of the night and Jiyuu had slid from out of the bed, out of Zuko's loose hold. She walked over towards her vanity and slowly opened the wooden doors and placed on her regular clothes. It was the outfit she wore before she had wore when she first met Zuko and Iroh in the Earth Kingdom, her strapless green shirt, with yellow at the top hem and at them bottom as it exposed her midriff, non-connected long green sleeves that covered her arms and hands, brown shorts under a black skirt that had slits going up to her hips and brown boots. Jiyuu even tied the red ribbon with Lu Ten's yellow flower still attached to it.
Her head slowly looked over her shoulder at Zuko's sleeping form. There was something she had to do, some questions that needed to be answered. Tip-toeing toward the door, she had slowly opened it and slid through, closing it shut behind her. When she turned around, she had seen an empty hall which she was starting to see a lot lately. Something was off and she knew it, but she wasn't sure what it was. Jiyuu continued to wall the dark, empty halls of the palace until heard footsteps behind her. She spun around as the tall silhouette came closer, she took a step back until the light from the window had revealed that the fire was Ozai. "Jiyuu, I figured I would see you again but not without a disguise again."
Her eyes narrowed at him as she then spoke, "How long have you known?"
"The first day you arrived." He said as he stood there with this confident glare in those iris of his. "I've known you since you were a child, do you think I would be that much of an idiot? You may have thought you fool everyone, but you haven't."
Jiyuu let out an inelegant scoff as she folded her arms and looked away. "What are you going to do Fire Lord? Throw me off the cliff? Kill me?"
The man had let out a hmph, smirking at the girl's boldness. He admired that about her, she did not show an ounce of fear. He knew that she wasn't someone that he could scare, no matter what he did she would show no traces. Even though it did grate on every last of his nerves, he couldn't help but respect her for being so fearless. "You have a lot to learn about me. I kept you alive for a reason, Jiyuu."
Her eyes went back on his form, "And what is that?"
"You have a lot to learn, Jiyuu." He walked closer and she had stood her ground, her eyes just as much showing the intensity that she had saw in his. "You act just like her."
The airbender arched a brow, "Like who?"
"Like your older sister Junko." He answered which Jiyuu appeared unsure and confused.
"I don't have an older sister. I am my parents only girl." Jiyuu said as the man looked out towards the window. "What are you talking about?!"
Ozai had said nothing for a moment before he looked back at her, "Why do you think your parents came to the Fire Nation? They came looking for her and they got separated from you."
Jiyuu's eyes widened, her hazel pupils revealing shock and even hurt. "H-How would you know?"
"Because your sister is the reason why Iroh's wife is dead." Jiyuu cupped her hand over her mouth, confused by it all. Why did her parents never tell her about Junko? Why was all of this kept from her? The Fire Lord had walked past her without saying another word, leaving the airbender in the hallway with a heavy heart and a racing mind.
It was before sunrise when Jiyuu and Zuko were getting themselves ready for the invasion. Jiyuu's hair was back in its usual style with the red ribbon tied in her hair and the flower pin attached to it as it. The only difference to her coiffure was that half of it was in ponytail while the other half was straight in a ponytail. Zuko had watched as she walked over toward the vanity and picked up the letter that she received from Aang. She looked at him and then at herself in the mirror, remembering Ozai's words last night. Zuko had saw that something was bothering her, "What's wrong?"
Unsure if she should tell him what Ozai last night, she quickly made up something else. "I was just thinking that is this is really it? If Aang defeats your father, your fine with it?"
"I told you my choice. I haven't changed my mind, but I want to talk to him before the Avatar makes his way to him." He said as she gave him a nod. "But first, I have to do something." Jiyuu nodded her head as she walked over to him, both of them walked alongside each other towards the door. Zuko had slowly opened it and peeked his head through and check left and right into the hallways. Nobody was in sight. He motioned for Jiyuu to follow him as both of them went running down the hallway.
A shadow was rounding the corner and on instinct, Jiyuu had immediately ran toward the shadow and tackled them down to the floor. It was Hana. Both of them blinked several times at each other, "Jiyuu... What are you doing? Why are you not wearing your wig?" She then saw Zuko from the corner of her eye who also looked quite surprised. "What the hell is going on?!" The girl said as Jiyuu stood up and helped her friend up to her feet.
"Hana... I want to explain to you, but I can't. You just have to know that this very important." Jiyuu explained as best as she could as her friend look at her and then let out along sigh.
"All right. I haven't seen anything, okay?" She said as she walked past them. "Be safe." Jiyuu smiled as she then looked at Zuko was now walking ahead of her and as had she soon followed. When they reached the end of one hallway, Zuko had opened the doors as Jiyuu continued to look out for watch. Once it was clear, she went in after him and was actually surprise at where they were. This was Ursa's room. Her scent was even still here, it was faint, but you could still smell the very beautiful smell of white plums.
Zuko had stood in front of the large portrait of his mother in which Jiyuu had stood beside him and looked at it as well. Slowly, her hand had reached for his and she had held it tight and he had done the same. "You should talk to her."
"But its been such a long time." He replied as he then looked to his left to see Jiyuu still staring at Ursa's portrait. He then looked back at it as well, "What can I even say?"
"I think she would like to know what you plan to do today." Jiyuu responded as he gave her a nod, agreeing.
By standing like this, Jiyuu could remember the day during Azulon's funeral and the day where Zuko had known his mother was gone. She had seen Zuko staring at her picture and tears pouring down his eyes. There was nothing she could say back then and so she held his hand and he had held hers. No words could explain the pain that they had felt but she had knew that Zuko had felt a much greater pain. There was no pain like losing a parent. Zuko had knelt down, still not letting go of her hand. Jiyuu felt herself being brought down with him, both of them kneeling in front of the picture. "I know I made some bad choices. But today, I'm going to set things right." Zuko said, Juyuu smiling at his words.
They had then stood and Zuko got grabbed his backpack and a pair of broadswords. He looked back at Ursa's picture for one more time. Jiyuu had stared at the picture for a few minutes, "I'm going to face my father. You have to go meet with the Avatar and make sure he makes it here."
"I thought we were going to stick together!" Jiyuu furrowed her brows, obviously upset. "I don't trust your father, what if he tries to kill you?"
Zuko placed his hands on her shoulders to give her a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be fine."
"You better be." She muttered as she watched him turn around and walked towards the door, he looked over his shoulder as she gave him a half smile. "I'll be waiting for you, all right?"
And with a nod, he had left and she had to think of a plan to find her way to Aang.
Jiyuu: The Japanese name meaning "Freedom"
Feng: Chinese name meaning "Wind"
This really, really short and I am so late with this but forgive me. I was suffering from writers block and I really didn't want to do Day of the Black Sun because it wouldn't be much of a difference than the show. But wow, what a shocker right?
I promise the next chapter will be longer.