Disclaimer: If I owned the Teen Titans, absolutely nothing (NOTHING) could have prevented Wonder Girl and Kid Flash from being regular members on the cartoon team. So obviously DC owns them, not me. Ya dig?

Fully Alive

Chapter Three: Getting Pushed Off of the Fence

The door closed with a light click, leaving Raven once again alone in the unfamiliar room. Arms wrapped around herself for warmth and comfort, she dragged her feet back to the bed. Slipping back into sleep sounded so appealing to her at that moment. Her healing trance had been interrupted by the angry emotions the arguing men had emanated, causing her to wake up as a defense mechanism. But even as she moved to lie back down, she realized that she was still wearing a dirty and torn uniform. The crest on the chest of her blazer declared her a student of the Gotham Preparatory School for Girls. Jerkily, she pulled off the stained jacket. It only served as a reminder of what she could destroy.

Robin's presence had stemmed the tide of guilt, but now alone the unhappy truth spat in her face: she couldn't stay there. She had, while attending Gotham Prep, tried and failed to retain enough control on a daily basis to lead a semi-normal life, and not think about her inevitable fate. Now there were people in pain because of her. So many more would be in the future.

She needed to leave this manor, before she repaid Robin's kindness with destruction. Already she had hurt him once. This time not seriously, but her future would bring horrors she couldn't articulate. She would not stick around and get attached to these people only to hurt them.

Placing her dirty hands on her knees, she decided she would leave immediately. She tried to push up off the bed and stand, but realized how exhausted she truly was. And how dirty, she noticed, looking at her hands and touching her hair, matted from sweat and gritty from dirt.

Yes, she would definitely leave. After a shower and a full night's sleep.

On her feet through force of will, she paused a moment to steady herself before heading towards the door of the bathroom that Robin had pointed out. Despite her usual stoicism, Raven was quite impressed by the size of the bathroom in a guest bedroom. How rich are these people? She wondered.

She immediately turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up. As she waited, a knock on her door forced her to gather the energy to cross the bedroom again.

She answered the door to an elderly, white-haired, formally dressed man who, upon speaking, proved himself an Englishman. "I'm sorry to bother you, Miss Raven," he said, "but I thought you would like something more comfortable to sleep in, as well as some toiletries."

Raven looked at him blankly for a moment before taking the small pile of clothes and toiletry bag he was offering and half asking, "You must be the butler. Robin called you Alfie?"

The gentleman smiled ruefully and nodded. "The young master does favor that nickname, but I prefer Alfred, if you don't mind, Miss."

"Oh, sorry," she said, face still blank. Her mouth tweaked into a small smile as she offered, "You can just call me Raven."

"If you say so, Miss."

She shrugged at the answer. No point making a fuss. Gesturing to the bundle she held she said as a farewell, "Well, thanks. Sorry to be a bother."

"Not a bother at all. I hope you're happy here, Miss," he responded.

"Oh, yeah, by the way, where is 'here?'" she wondered, half curiously, half suspiciously.

Alfred hedged, "I don't believe I'm the right person to tell you that. You should ask Batman or Robin. Only they should decide to tell you who they really are."

I guess I'll never find out then, she thought. She shrugged again dismissively. Alfred looked at her with an unnerving degree of perception.

"You know, Miss," he started thoughtfully, "I have watched Batman and Robin defeat many enemies throughout these years, but I have never seen them defeat any by running away."

Raven looked at him slightly angrily. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"Good night, Miss."

He walked down the hall and out of sight. "Yeah, good night," she answered pointlessly.

Her steps shuffled over the floor's area rug as she slowly returned to the bathroom. The water had long since heated up, and she walked into a cloud of hot steam when she opened the door. She relished the feeling of the humidity on her skin, but left the bathroom door open behind her so it could clear out a bit. She placed the pajamas Alfred had given her on the large sink, and took soap, shampoo and conditioner out of the toiletry bag. Undressing quickly, she entered the shower.

The hot water pounded her skin deliciously, calming her in a way too few things could. She ran her fingers through her hair as the water washed through it. The soothing sensations of the hot water and the balming smell of the lavender shampoo helped her think clearly for the first in what seemed like a very long time.

When she broke the support beams of the school building she hadn't been thinking clearly; when she ran through the forest she hadn't been thinking clearly; when she almost became a victim of a Gotham City mugging she hadn't been thinking clearly; and when she woke up an a strange bedroom to be greeted by a masked sidekick she hadn't been thinking clearly.

Now, as the water poured on her aching muscles she thought. Batman would find out who she was in no time. All he had to do was look in the school records and he would find her mother. She had lied to Robin; she told him she had no parents.

What she meant was that she had no parents that she should associate with. She was giving her mother a chance to be happy when she left. And her father. . .

Snatching a towel from the rack, she stepped out of the shower. She quickly dried off and put on the pajamas. Once dressed, she carefully, deliberately, dried her hair, squeezing out as much water as she could out of the chin-length violet strands. In the mirror, a pale face stared back at her, emotionless, bored. The eyes blinked before the face turned down and away and she walked out into the bedroom. The towel fell from her limp fingers to the floor with a light thump, and the girl didn't bother to pick it up as she crawled into the soft sheets of the guest bed.

Her eyes shut to sleep as she settled on her down pillow. Her last thought was a hope that exhaustion would keep the nightmares away.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

A repetitive rhythm woke Raven up. With a groan, she rolled out of the bed and stood, eyes still closed. Rubbing her fists into her eyes, she opened them and panicked when she realized she wasn't in her dorm room. Heart pounding in fear, she scoured the room with her eyes to find something familiar.

"Raven, are you awake?" called a male voice from outside the door.

The voice made Raven think of a young boy in a mask and colorful outfit. Robin.

She shook off the last of her memory lag and opened the door to an unfamiliar teenage boy. Upon closer inspection, she recognized the spiky black hair.

"Robin?" she asked.

He thrust out a hand for her to shake. "Call me Dick. Dick Grayson."

She looked at him with confusion. "Why would you tell me that?"

Dick shrugged his green t-shirt-clad shoulders and said jovially, "Well, I don't like wearing a mask in my own home." Raven was bright enough to hear the underlying message; he knew she would find out who they were anyway, since he brought her into their home, but he wanted to set a precedent of honesty between them.

She quirked one eyebrow as she looked at his still-extended hand. Finally, she took it in her smaller hand and shook. Dick's grin expanded. Raven decided he was much too happy.

"Breakfast?" he asked.

"I don't usually eat breakfast," she said.

"C'mon, when's the last time you ate?" he pressed.

She thought and said, "Dinner, the day before yesterday, I think."

Dick's eyes went wide. "You must be starving! Come with me." He tried to grab her hand and yank her along, but she calmly pulled her hand back.

"Can I get dressed first?" she asked with measured monotony.

He looked down at her with bed hair, wearing pajamas, looking exactly like she had just rolled out of bed. "Oh, right," he chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "Sure. I'll wait right here."

She shut the door, hopefully in his face, picked up the jeans and shirt that had been left on the nightstand by someone the night before, and walked into the bathroom.

Her eyes went wide at the sight of her hair. It had still been wet when she had gone to sleep the night before, and now it looked like a bird's nest. Oh, so attractive.

She ran some cold water, then brushed wet fingers through the knots. When she looked decent she searched through the bag Alfred had given her and found a toothbrush and toothpaste. She used them, and dressed quickly.

As she headed to the door to meet Dick again, she slowed. Why was she not leaving? By all accounts, she had decided to leave first thing in the morning. Her stomach growled loudly.

Yes, she would definitely leave. Right after breakfast.

In the manor's large kitchen, Dick asked her, "Do you like waffles?"

Raven deadpanned, "More than life itself."

"Great!" The chef du jour rubbed his hands together before he pulled out a waffle maker and plugged it in. Then he made a round through the kitchen gathering ingredients, piling them all together in his arms, somehow managing to keep from dropping them all. Raven merely watched, sitting on a stool at the counter, head in her hand, and elbow on the marble counter top. After a minute, she moved to where she saw a tea kettle, filled it with water, and set it to boil.

"So, Raven, where'd you grow up?" Dick asked conversationally.

Raven took several seconds to gauge whether she wanted to answer that. She took long enough that Dick paused his stirring to turn and call her name.

As if she hadn't heard him, she asked, "What?"

"I just asked where you grew up," he told her.

Shrugging, she decided it couldn't hurt any, since the Bat probably found out everything about her by now. "Star City," she sighed.

"Something wrong with Star?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You just didn't sound too enthusiastic about it," he said.

"Nothing's wrong with it, really. I never even went into the city very often."

She hoped her obvious lack of enthusiasm for the subject would dissuade him from pumping for further information, but no such luck.

"Suburbs?" he guessed.

"A little further out, but pretty much." As the water nearly reached a boil she searched for teabags. She found a fairly extensive collection in a cabinet, courtesy of the English butler no doubt. She chose green tea. She tried to change the subject, "What about you, wonder boy? Dick Grayson: Bruce Wayne's ward and Robin? What's your deal?"

It was his turn to look at her with raised eyebrows. She shrugged. "I told you I read the papers. You're mentioned in the business section sometimes alongside your benefactor," she informed him defensively. She filled a mug with water and let a teabag steep a moment.

He smiled, saying, "Well, honestly, I grew up in the circus. My parents were the Flying Graysons. They were quite famous acrobats as circuses went. Then one day, I overheard a Gotham mobster attempting to extort money from Haly, the owner of the circus. Haly refused of course. Next thing I knew my parents were dead and Bruce took me in. He trained me to be Robin, and I've been doing it since." He grinned at her.

"That's quite a story," she observes quietly, taking another sip of her tea.

"Yes, and one I'm not so sure you should share with just anyone," stated a gruff voice from the doorway.

The pair of teens looked up to see Batman watching them with a scowl.

"Did you never get to sleep last night?" Dick asked with a mixture of worry for his mentor and understanding at the man's obsessive nature.

Batman didn't answer him. He just gestured for Raven to follow him. She looked over at her companion, and he nodded to her in reassurance. She slid off the stool and followed the most intimidating man she'd ever met out of the kitchen and into a room that looked like an office- a generic businessman's office. This, she thought, certainly is not the basis of Batman and Robin's operations.

When they were both seated, Batman interrupted the awkward silence by tossing a file onto the desk between them. Raven looked at it with brows furrowed in confusion.

"Raven Roth, fifteen, birthday: December tenth*, born in Star City General Hospital. Father unknown. Maternal grandparents deceased. Grew up in a nunnery outside Star with mother Angela Roth, who spent her childhood moving from foster home to foster home after the death of her parents. Was reported to be involved with a Satanist cult soon before she showed up at the nunnery in the middle of the night, reportedly looking like she had been brutally attacked. Rape kit was positive, but a perpetrator was never apprehended. Last year you received the Wayne Foundation Scholastic Scholarship to Gotham Girls' Preparatory Academy, and began attending as a freshman in September. Yesterday, after you were harassed by some classmates, your metahuman powers of unknown origins lashed out and destroyed the main support beams of the science building. Nine were injured, none fatally. You escaped into Gotham, where Robin saved you from a mugging, and brought you back here."

Raven had been looking through the file as he listed off facts as if they defined her. Everything that could prove who she was and where she had been was in this file. There were copies of her birth certificate, her mother's, her grandparents' death certificates, the records of each foster home her mother had been sent to, eye-witness reports and photographs of her mother experimenting with different religions as a young woman, the police and hospital reports of her mother's rape, Raven's school transcripts, all of her hospital records down to the last blood test, some statements from nuns she had known growing up, the letter of acceptance to GGPA, the letter of congratulations on receiving the Scholarship, eye-witness accounts of her in school, and of the previous day's incident.

Raven could not believe the extent to which he had gone to find out about her. She looked up at Batman.

"I guess now you think you know everything about me, don't you Mr. Wayne?" she asked a bit scathingly.

If the Bat was surprised at her use of his real name, he didn't show it. Instead he said, "Not at all, Raven. I just make it my usual habit to know what I can about people staying in my house."

"Well, sorry to put you through so much trouble then, 'cause I wasn't planning on sticking around," she said.

"Why not? I believe with my resources we could find an appropriate teacher to help you with your powers." His deep voice sounded sincere. He wasn't lying; he would allow her to stay there. But he wasn't asking her to. "And Dick wants you to stay," he added.

"All the more reason I should leave. I can't get attached to people. It's not safe for them." Raven tried to resist the urge to wrap her arms around herself. In front of the Dark Knight she did not want to look pitiful and weak.

"Says who?" he asked.

She looked at him angrily. "Past experience. As you said, I just tore down a school building. Nine people were injured, remember?"

"But don't you think you should see if we can find someone to train you? You could learn to prevent accidents like this." Raven looked about to protest, but he cut her off, "It's your choice, either way."

He stood and walked around her chair towards the door. Raven continued looking straight ahead for half a moment, then turned to him, saying, "Hey, you won't-"

She looked behind her at the empty room. With a slow blink, she realized that she had just gotten the full Batman treatment, and chuckled twice.

Her smile faded and she slumped back in her chair. Were these people crazy or what? They knew what she was capable of, and yet talked to her like staying there was an actual option. Was it? She had thought it was, at the school, but one look at the news covering the story proved her wrong.

When Raven finally returned to the kitchen, she was greeted by two men eating waffles. Dick looked up at her and gestured to the seat next to him, where there sat a huge waffle.

"What took you so long? Your waffle is going to get cold," Dick told her in an amiable voice. He smiled at her as she sat and he continued to dig in.

Raven looked at the man sitting opposite Dick. With an internal start, she realized that she was looking into the real face of Batman. Or, looking at it from another perspective, she was looking at one of the richest billionaires on the planet, Bruce Wayne. He nodded to her, but didn't smile at her. She supposed that, while he had extended the invitation to her to stay, that he had done it because it was the most logical option at the time, not because he trusted her. In fact, she sensed that the man was still rather angry that Dick had revealed their identities. He was certainly not comfortable with giving such a mysterious person, a stranger even though he knew seemingly everything about her, his biggest, most important secret.

If she were going to stay, Raven might have been worried about finding a way to reassure the paranoid vigilante. But she wasn't, so she decided to ignore it and eat her waffle, which was surprisingly good.

Dick continued asking her questions about herself during breakfast. She answered conservatively. She didn't want to reveal too much of herself to him. She would rather he remain ignorant of her so he could forget her when she left.

Bruce surprised her by not filling his ward in that he knew the answers to many of his questions. She was grateful to him for that.

Dick avoided the topic of her parents as if he knew it were a sensitive subject. Then Raven remembered that she had told Robin that she had no parents, and he had evidently taken it literally. She felt bad for lying about it, but would rather leave it at that than explain.

Raven avoided several pointed questions about her powers, to the apparent displeasure of both detectives, but managed to distract Dick from the subject by mentioning that she grew up in a nunnery, which for some reason he found fascinating. She filled the conversation, as well as she could in her short-answered way, with some talk about that and GGPA.

At one point, Dick asked, "Are your hair and eyes really that color?"

She looked up from her almost gone second waffle with surprise. Shrugging, she supposed she should have expected that question, since she had gotten it from almost everyone she had ever met. "Yeah, it's natural," she answered simply.

"How interesting. Could it be heredity, I wonder? I've never seen anything like it before," he said with curiosity looking at her irises. Raven raised one eyebrow, shrugged, and looked away. She picked up her finished plate and brought it over to the sink. Putting it under the tap and running water, she looked for soap and a sponge. Never a slob, she didn't want to leave a mess behind her when she left.

As if he were summoned, Alfred appeared at the kitchen to relieve her of the effort. "I'll take care of that, Miss."

"Oh, um, OK." Raven placed the plate, cup and silverware down and took a step back so he could reach the sink. "Thanks, Alfred."

Dick walked over and said "Oh, so you've met Alfie? Great," he smiled. Raven could just barely see the butler roll his eyes at the nickname. She suppressed a grin with surprising success.

"Yeah, I've met Alfred," she agreed. Feeling uncomfortable in the room with the three, Raven said, "Thanks for breakfast. I'll be in the guest room, if you'll excuse me."

"It's your room now, you know," Dick said. Raven looked at him, smiling at her, Bruce, reading with a serious expression a newspaper that featured yet another Arkham Asylum breakout on the front page, and Alfred, calmly drying a dish. None of them contradicted Dick's claim. They would really let her stay.

It terrified her.

She nodded swiftly and booked it to 'her' room.

Standing in there she realized she had nothing to pack or take with her except her dirty uniform. She pulled on her high tops and grabbed what was left of the outfit from the hamper in which it had been left. She would throw it in a dumpster before leaving the city limits.

Where would she go?

What an excellent question. She sat on the bed to ponder it. While musing over the pros and cons of staying in the country, Raven realized that the bed had been made. Probably by Alfred. He had also tidied the room. A fresh towel in the bathroom, all the toiletries he had given her in their proper places. As if he tried to make it into her room.

His words echoed in her mind. 'I have never seen them defeat any by running away.'

Well, it's not like she was facing the Joker here. She couldn't fight this. This was a problem without a solution.

'You are dangerous. But we can get you help. We can find you someone who can teach you to control your powers.'

Yeah, right. Like it's that easy to find someone who understands demon powers.

Still, if anyone could find her a teacher, her best odds would be with someone from the Justice League.

'I have never seen them defeat any by running away.'

Raven looked down at her shoes, muddy from her escape through the forest.

She was running away. She had always run away. She ran away from human contact her entire childhood. She ran away from her mother to come to Gotham. And now she was about to run away from the first person to believe in her and selflessly offer to help her that she had ever met.

Slowly, deliberately, regretting the decision already, Raven took off her running shoes.

A/N: I wasn't even going to write this chapter, but I realized that deciding to stay would be a big ordeal for Raven.

*I have never found Raven's birthday explicitly stated anywhere. So I just made it up. If anyone does know when her birthday is... Eh, Let me know, but I probably won't change it. Dec 10 works in the timeline of the story.

Oh, hey, with this chapter, I've publish 100k words on this sight. Compared to a lot of authors, that ain't much, but it's a sort of checkpoint to me.

Review, please. Cheers