*yawns...*

Oh...hey...

With a bottle of whisky at hand, and the steering wheel on the other Yumiko was debating whether or not she'll go back to her condo unit, and hope 'till dawn that sleep's going to give her some mercy, or head straight to Syusuke's apartment and disregard the presence of his brother's guest. ..or perhaps just spend the entire night driving while hoping that Mr. good police officer wouldn't caught him. ..yeah right. Maybe it's even better if she try spending a night in jail.

Yumiko smiled bitterly. She was currently parked at a nearby convenience store where she grabbed a bottle of whisky and few packs of cigarettes, all the while hoping that what happened within the day was merely a fabrication of her over fatigued brain. Yet no matter how she tries to reconnect the dots, it still wouldn't fit in.

When she saw Saeki together with a familiar woman, whom she later recognized as the secretary of her boss, Yumiko didn't even think of it as something treacherous or weird. Her boyfriend works in the same company as hers in the first place. Different departments and bosses, but generally on the same company. Naturally, Saeki would've known several high ranking officers of their firm.

She really hoped that was all to it.

But everything drastically changed when she saw them this afternoon; walking hand in hand as they went inside a restaurant just across their office. Yumiko was smart enough not to believe initial assumptions without valid proof, so she went on and called her boyfriend.

What Saeki said broke her heart.

"Lunch with your boss, huh? Since when did my boss become your boss?" Yumiko said to herself as she emptied the bottle of whisky.

The moment she finally realized what was going on, all Yumiko could ever think of was her brother and the need to talk to him immediately, but Fuji was out. And just when she thought she could finally get the chance to talk to him earlier, her brother said he was expecting somebody and couldn't entertain her for the moment.

She bit her lower lip and fought the second wave of tears that threatened to fall down her eyes. She couldn't live with this. Syusuke would surely understand her. He will just have to listen to whatever she's going to say, and everything's going to be alright. That's it. She'll go to Syusuke's place and share to him her burdens.

'Everything's going to be fine.' Yumiko told herself again and again as she started her car's engine and headed to Syusuke's place.

"Hey…" Shiraishi greeted the moment Fuji opened the front door of his apartment.

The blue-eyed boy opened his mouth to say something, but found himself staring at the other guy's face instead. It has been a painfully long time since they last saw each other, but Fuji could still remember how Shiraishi looked. He didn't change. He was still the Shiraishi he knew before. At least from the looks.

"Syusuke…"

Fuji blinked several times and forced a smile.

"H-hai…get in.." he said, closing the door immediately after they got in. "I-I'm going to get you something…just find a place you're comfortable with…"

"Bedroom?" Shiraishi asked with a smile.

Fuji stopped on his tracks and immediately turned at the other guy. Noticing his flushed look, Shiraishi waved a hand."

"..just kidding..go ahead."

"W-what do you want to have..?" he asked, by means to show courtesy.

"..the usual.." Shiraishi replied as he locked his gaze at Fuji's eyes.

"Alright.."

Fuji hurried to the kitchen.

'The usual.' He blushed and shook his head. So Shiraishi still loves homemade pancakes. He knew Fuji would have that, because that was also his favorite. They used to eat them together back when they were—No, wait. What was he thinking?

Fuji knocked his head. He has to be on shape. He couldn't let the other guy affect him like this just because they have 'that' past.

When he came back, bringing two plates of pancakes and two cans of cola, on a tray, he saw Shiraishi browsing over his photo albums lying underneath the glass table on the living room.

"I know you have talent in photography Syusuke,…but look…you're a self-made professional!" Shiraishi exclaimed truly impressed with his works.

"It's just a hobby."

"Or a career, if you'd like it."

"I'm fine with just the first one. Here." Fuji said, offering his guest the pancakes he made just when he came back after work.

"Thanks."

They silently ate their shares before finally going down to business.

"Syusuke…I know this is-"

"Uhm…you don't have to say sorry. I don't know if I have forgiven you but….we'll going to be fine with just how things are right now. No issues. Hard feelings maybe, but everything's just fine with me now." Fuji interrupted, cutting off unnecessary talks.

Shiraishi looked at him intently and nodded. "You know me to well."

"I'm not sure if I really do." he retorted.

The other guy once again nodded.

"So…you're together with Tezuka now?"

"Yes."

"He's a great man. Mean sometimes, but great."

"I know."

Silent moments passed. Fuji took a sip from his can of cola.

"Do you love him?" Shiraishi asked.

Fuji wants to get annoyed if not for the fact that he didn't know why he should be.

"I do." he simply said.

"I just want to make sure you're doing great. You deserve more than what you think you should, Syusuke…I just want you to know that."

"What a pity…it would've been great as well if you realized that before…don't you think?"

This time, he really slipped off. Shiraishi looked down knowing what he meant.

"Syusuke…You know I loved you…so much."

Fuji smiled. Weird because he didn't know why he was.

"I don't know. But I hope I did..then maybe I could've done something before it went too serious between the two of us…but then again…..everything's done…we couldn't bring them back together."

"I wish you the best Syusuke."

"Same is for you."

They went on talking about their careers and personal lives, and Fuji soon learned that Shiraishi's engage to a brazilian model. He didn't know if he's already willing to open up a new door of friendship for the other guy. But if there's one thing that Fuji's sure of, it will be that he wouldn't be living in the shadows of the past anymore. Now that everything has been cleared off, things will soon be better.

After almost an hour of chat, Shiraishi decided to leave.

"You got to be really busy these times." Fuji commented as he held the door open for his guest.

Shiraishi smiled. "Right."

Before he went for his car, he turned back to the blue-eyed boy and stared at him, long enough to make Fuji uncomfortable.

"What?"

"Nothing…I'm just afraid we wouldn't be seeing each other soon….I'll be moving a lot…for business.." Shiraishi explained, though Fuji knew there was more to that than what he said.

"Uhm…..there's email, you know.." he offered with a slight smile.

Even with that said, Fuji could see that the other guy was still bothered with something. He wanted to ask him, but immediately waved off the thought, believing that he's no longer in much position to intervene with whatever the other was thinking.

"Syusuke…" Shiraishi started. His voice marred with hesitation and doubt.

"Yes…"

The taller guy moved closer and reached out to hold Fuji's hand.

"Can I…..kiss you?"

He was sure he heard him right, but decided not to entertain to thought. Why? Fuji couldn't see any reason why Shiraishi would even ask that. He pulled his hand and back off a step. He couldn't let himself get affected. Not again.

"Please don't do this…." he mumbled, heads down to hide the visible blush he knew was present on his face. "I….we-"

Fuji's words were cut off when Shiraishi pulled him closer to a hug.

"I know…."

"Then why are you-"

Once again his words were cut off, this time with Shiraishi's lips pressed on his own. It was all too familiar. Fuji was well aware of the familiar feel of the other's lips, his hands on his waist that were pulling him closer. Damn, he could even sense Shiraishi's familiar scent. As strange as it may seem, he just couldn't muster the courage to push the guy away.

Fuji tried to pull away when Shiraishi's tongue started to lick his lips, begging for entrance and to deepen their now heated kiss, but it only allowed the other guy to take full control of the situation.

"Syusuke…"

Fuji responded by clutching the other's shirt. "No…Please don't do this.." he once again pleaded, voice cracking and tears starting to fall down his eyes, as memories of the past began to flood his mind. He didn't mind wiping away his tears. Shiraishi should have known by now how hard he's making everything difficult for him.

He felt Shiraishi's hand hold chin and tilt his head so he was not facing the other.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Syusuke.." he said sincerely.

Fuji shook his head. "I don't see the point why you're telling me about this.."

Shiraishi touched his forehead to Fuji's and closed his eyes.

"..because I have to…."

"Why?"

"I love you…I'm sorry but I still do."

"…god Shiraishi.." Fuji said, almost in disbelief to how things turned out. If the other guy was just fooling around, he saw no signs of it, and Fuji didn't like it at all.

"I know.." Shiraishi whispered as he finally freed the blue-eyed boy from his hold.

They stood still facing each other for a few seconds before Shiraishi broke the silence.

"I have to go…and I'm sorry."

He then went to his car and settled on the driver's seat. He knew he messed up. Now, everything's over; their friendship, memories, and all. Just as he was about to start the car's engine, Fuji appeared outside the glass window, asking him to open up. What happened next when he did was one he least expected.

Fuji's soft lips brushed his own in the most gentle and delicate way Shiraishi had ever felt. It was not a hungry and demanding kiss but one which conveyed the longing and desire the other felt. When Fuji pulled away, Shiraishi held him still.

"That should be the last." Fuji said. "We did a mistake before, and I don't plan-"

"Syusuke!" Shiraishi interrupted. "I never considered us as a mistake."

Fuji forced a smile. To be honest, he loved Shiraishi for real, and he didn't regret anything they've had before. However, given the present situation, he just couldn't help but feel guilty with everything.

For the last time, he allowed himself to caress Shiraishi's face, a gesture he always used to express his love and affection.

"Our time together was one of the best I've ever had. Always remember that."

Shiraishi bit his lower lip and looked away. Few seconds after, he started his car's engine and went away, leaving Fuji outside the silence of the night.

Yumiko's hands clinched tightly on her car's steering wheel as she watched the entire scene unfold in front of her. She was parked few meters away from her brother's apartment just enough to see everything that had went through.

She sat there silently and let her tears fall down. Alcohol might had claimed a portion of her rationality, but she knew what she saw, and understand what it meant. Now it all made sense. It all made sense why Shiraishi always insisted on waiting for her at home before for dinner rather than picking her up from her university. She finally understood why Syusuke and Shiraishi fell too close to each other when they were in junior high. She thought before it was all because of tennis. She believed it was all because of tennis.

But seeing the two sharing 'that' sinful act between them earlier, Yumiko finally understood. Syusuke and Shiraishi had been together. They were cheating on her back before, the same thing as what they've been doing now to Tezuka.

She harshly wiped away the tears on her face. She'll never let this pass. Ever.

Author's Note:

Tadaima!